19. ISABELLA

Chapter 19

ISABELLA

"Stacy!" I move closer to her. There's a lump burning in my throat upon hearing what my friend went through. I was none the wiser because her narrative didn't fit the life my father had built for me. "There is nothing for me to forgive." I put my arm around her and pulled her to me. "Jesus. I should be begging you for forgiveness. My fucking father extorted a thirteen-year-old and held the fear of being raped by your brother over your head."

"That was the only time I've ever come close to admiring your father." Stacy snuggles into me. I can feel she's shaking from having gone down that particular memory lane. "Marco got us all into the lounge. My brother had two broken ribs and a broken nose, but Marco wouldn't let him go to the hospital. My mother was furious about it. That Marco would dare lay a hand on her boy."

"Well, I'm glad he did that." I smooth her hair off her forehead. "But he should've taken you straight to hospital."

"He had the hospital come to us." Stacy snorts. "While we were waiting, my father arrived home, and he was so shocked to hear what had happened. I thought he was going to kill my brother." She takes in a shaky breath. "That's the night I also learned that my mother loved my brother more than me. She told Marco and my father that I'd probably been the one to instigate it as I was such a little whore prancing around in the clothes I wore."

"I always thought your mother was a cold bitch," I shake my head, "but this is beyond belief."

"My father wanted them both to get out of his house, but your father wouldn't let that happen," Stacy continues the story. "I have no idea why he wanted them to stay together. But he warned my entire family what would happen if any of them ever laid a hand on me again." She went quiet for a while. "I also had a shadow following me around after that day—Gunner."

"Gunner?" I move my head to see her. "Gunner went to watch out for you?" I frown. "I wondered what happened to him. But I'm glad it was Gunner, as he was such a nice guy."

She nods. "My family was so scared of him. That's why I moved into the room that had the nursery attached to it. Your father had it made into a small suite for Gunner."

"I'm glad."

"My mother moved into my room to be on the other wing of the house and away from my father," Stacy tells me. "I saw your father there quite often, but I just pretended he wasn't. Gunner and I would go visit Genevra when you weren't home." She laughs. "When I used to visit you, Gunner would visit Genevra. I think they have a thing going."

"Genevra and Gunner?" I shake my head, but I'm glad they have each other.

Everyone deserves to be happy, and soon, my friends and I will be. When we're out of America. Fuck, how did I never even suspect any of this? And Harry? I shudder. Jesus, to think we nearly…

"Shit. One day in the pool at your house on your eighteenth birthday, Harry and I nearly—"

"I know, Gunner saw and alerted James." Stacy laughs again. "You should've seen my brother's face when James told him if he ever laid a hand on you again, his face would be the last thing my brother ever saw."

"I miss James." Guilt pangs hit me. "I felt so guilty about having to drug him again. I know he's my father's loyal lap dog, but he's always been so good to me."

Stacy sits up and looks at me. "You didn't drug him." She shakes her head, and I frown. "Well, you did the day we escaped, but it didn't affect him."

"I wasn't supposed to tell you." Her eyes search mine. "But fuck it. You're right. You've been kept in the dark and fed shit for long enough, and I've helped with you being fed that shit."

"Okay!" My eyes narrow.

"Your father could never know that James was only ever loyal to two people after his parents were killed with your mother," Stacy informs me. "That was you and Genevra."

"They had a funny way of showing it."

"They had to do what they had to do to protect you, Bella." Her hand tightens on mine. "You're the key to mending the past and securing the future, Bella."

"People keep telling me that."

Okay, now I'm starting to get freaked out again. I feel like everyone here knows I have some big destiny to fulfill. Everyone but me, that is. The person who should know as I'm the one that needs to do whatever the fuck is required of me. So much for having my own life.

Now I've found out I have a big destiny to fulfill, am I suddenly going to come into powers, or grow wings or something?

I'd much rather have fangs and turn into a werewolf. At least then, I could rip my father's fucking head off with ease. If there's a prophecy attached to this story, I'm out of here!

Steering the conversation back to James, because I don't think my stomach could handle wings or powers right now, I ask. "Tell me what you mean about James."

"Genevra and James knew you laced that food with sleeping pills," Stacy tells me.

"I know. Genevra told me."

"But James did. He did it on purpose as he had to make it look real so your father wouldn't suspect anything." Stacy tells me. "That night, Marco was called away as a distraction to get him out of town. I was going to come around, and we were going to sneak out."

"But I hi-jacked your plan!" My brow furrows. "Wait. Let's sort one thing out at a time. I'm not keeping up so well these days."

"It's pregnancy fog," Stacy tells me.

"Great. Just another wonderful thing about being pregnant." I throw my hands in the air. "Early onset dementia."

"It'll pass," Stacy assures me, then grins. "I hope."

"I love your pep talks, Stace. Now tell me about James and stop hedging."

"When you fed the NeuroVeil to James, he faked falling asleep," Stacy says.

"I knew he was acting."

"James, like myself, Davey, and the rest of Konstantin's team, are immune to its effects."

"How?" My brow furrows.

"We were injected with an antidote." Stacy shudders. "It burns like shit."

"Why wasn't I given any?"

"We… uh…" She pulls her Stacy's done something bad face. "We all suspected… uh… no, knew you and Andrey had sex before you called me."

"Excuse me?" A cold shiver runs down my spine.

"Konstantin was not happy, but he was ordered to leave you at the Velvet Lounge. I thought he was going to rip the head off whoever gave that order, but he didn't." Stacy's words make my heart stop beating in my chest for a few seconds. "Instead, he extracted me from the guards who were about to take me to be interrogated by your husband— again! "

"Okay, let's put a pin in this," I tell her. My mind is reeling. What the fuck! "Let's rewind to the night I was going to the Velvet Lounge." Then, another thought hits me. Did Stacy know I was engaged to Andrey? I know this has gone through my mind before. "Did you know I was engaged to Andrey?"

"I found out you were engaged about three years ago," Stacy tells me.

"Thanks for the heads up." I know that isn't fair.

My father has held Stacy to secrecy since she was thirteen. No wonder she didn't like being at my house when he was around.

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you." Stacy's eyes are filled with guilt. "Konstantin is going to be so mad that I told you."

"Are you and my brother in a relationship?"

"No." Stacy's brows drew together. "God! No." She holds her hands up. "Don't get me wrong, your brother is fucking gorgeous. In the two years I've known him, he's been nothing but kind to me."

"Two years?" I splutter. "You've known Konstantin for two years?" I shake my head. "You need to start at the beginning."

"Okay." She nods. "You know about me at thirteen, Gunner, and how I found out that Genevra was nice. However, it wasn't until after my seventeenth that I knew how nice she was. She was like a mother to me, and Gunner became my father figure."

"God, Stace." I'm trying to hold on to the tears burning at the back of my eyes.

There I was, living like a spoiled little princess protected by the king of darkness consuming everyone I loved and holding them hostage to protect my fucking fake world. Jesus!

"Don't do that, Bells." I look up to see Stacy watching me intently. "Don't sit there beating yourself up, worrying that we're thinking badly of you. You didn't know, and every part of your life was carefully crafted to keep you from knowing."

"Why?" I bellow in frustration. "Why has everyone I loved been tortured because of me?" Anger, guilt, remorse for loving my Dad, a monster just like, if not worse, than the Belovs. "Why am I so fucking important? What does everyone want from me?"

"You're the key to ushering a brand new era for your family and putting an end to bad blood between them." Pavel walks into the living room, eating a handful of grapes. "I've been eavesdropping," he says, unabashed by the admission and sitting in a chair across from me.

"Is that a good thing? Is that a bad thing?" I look at Pavel. "How am I the key? How am I supposed to usher in a new era?" My voice is rising with the anger boiling inside me, and I'm starting to feel light-headed. "Am I at least going to get powers? Is that why I had to wait until I was twenty-one because this is when I become a witch, vampire, or werewolf?" My voice and temper rise a little more, and so do the giddy feeling. "Am I supposed to slay a fucking dragon? Put a curse on someone's penis. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE THE KEY FOR?"

"Isabella, calm down!" Pavel says, putting his plate of grapes on the table and standing up with his hands out as if he were approaching a wild cat. "You know you can't get your blood pressure up; it's not good for the baby."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" I have no idea why my temper is rising and rising.

I jump up on the couch to try at least to be at eye level with the giant. Then I sway as the blood rushes to my head, and it feels as if my brain shrinks and expands in a pulse. Pavel's hand snakes out to catch me as the world starts spinning, and that now familiar gray mist starts swirling around me to pull me into darkness. I try to fight it, but I can't. My legs give in, and I feel strong arms catch me before the world starts to fade out.

"What the fuck were you thinking?"

I hear Stacy's angry voice somewhere through the darkness, and I push through it, trying to find her.

"You never tell an angry woman to calm down. And you never tell an angry pregnant woman to do that because you're going to get an ass whooping."

"Stacy!" I call out, trying to reach her. "Stacy!" But I don't think she hears me because she continues to shout at someone.

"Bella!" Stacy is shaking me. "Wake up, Bells."

"I'm awake," I tell her, not opening my eyes. "But I think I'm just going to lie here for a while with my eyes closed."

"Okay!" Stacy says. "I'll get you a blanket and let you get some rest."

"No." I stop her. "I want you to continue telling me your story of how you met my brother and found out about my engagement."

"Are you sure you want to hear this now?"

"Yes." I open my eyes and see her face staring at me through a fuzzy haze. I rub them clear. "I'm listening." I turn my head. "Where's Pavel?"

"Gone." Stacy hisses. "That stupid dick knows better than to rile you."

"He didn't rile me." I shake my head. "I'm just so fed up with…" I sigh. "Being a fucking mushroom and trapped in the darkness while my best friend is suffering in silence because of me."

"I told you not to do that." Stacy's voice is soft. "None of this is your fault. You were living in a reality specifically designed to keep you in the dark."

"That's not helping, Stacy," I point out, frustration lacing my voice.

She goes to say something, but I stop her. I need to get this off my chest.

"If we were characters in a book right now and I was reading this, I'd be like, Jesus, how self-absorbed is that bitch Isabella not to have noticed her friend was suffering? Her loved ones were all rallied behind her, protecting her from the dark lord himself, my evil asshole of a father. All while she remained oblivious."

"You know I hate it when you write these reviews." Stacy shakes her head, sighs, and rolls her eyes.

I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to hold back tears.

"I'd be thinking, ‘I don't like Isabella.' In my review of the book The Life of Isabella Moretti , I'd write that Isabella is a pathetic, wimpy, self-absorbed, entitled princess who whined about the perfect life she wanted to escape. The stupid, naive, clueless bitch was so consumed with wanting to gain control of her life and lose her virginity that she had tunnel vision."

"Bella…" Stacy warns, her tone pleading.

"No, I'm not done with my review." I hold up my index finger to stop her. "Her reckless, childish behavior, driven by her emotions, put her friends at risk and dragged them into God knows what mess her life is in."

"Are you finished now?" Stacy looks at me with raised brows, waiting patiently. "Can I write my review of that book?"

"No, you don't get to write a review today." I sit up carefully, feeling the emotional exhaustion setting in. "You get a written apology."

Stacy opens her mouth to talk once again, but I stop her.

"Dear Stacy. There are no words…" I take a deep breath, gathering my thoughts before continuing and starting again:

"Dear Stacy,

There are no words to truly capture the depth of my regret and sorrow for being so blind. I was so caught up in my world that I failed to see how much you were suffering, and for that, I am deeply sorry. You've had my back through everything, always watching out for me protecting me, and I was too naive to see the true extent of your sacrifices.

You are my role model and my superhero. Your strength, resilience, and unwavering loyalty are things I aspire to. From this moment on, I promise I will not let anyone harm you or take you for granted ever again. You deserve so much better, and I will do everything in my power to ensure you are never used or hurt because of me or by anyone else.

I'm grateful for everything you've done for me, and I'm committed to being the friend you deserve. Thank you for being there for me, even when I didn't realize how much I needed you.

With all my heart,

Isabella."

I look up, my eyes meeting hers, filled with sparkling tears.

"That's a beautiful letter." Stacy's voice is shaky, and she swipes a tear from her cheek.

"I mean every word, Stacy. I promise I'll be better. For you and us."

"Bells, you never had a fair chance. You were doing the best you could, working toward a goal that was always out of reach. Not because of anything you did wrong, but because it was just a carrot dangled in front of you to control and manipulate you."

"And here I sit again, making it all about me when I've just found out about the fucked up shit that's happened in your life."

"No, you're trying to make sense of it all," Stacy sticks up for me once again. "I've had years to figure it out. You've had six weeks. Four of which you've spent hanging over a toilet, vomiting, passing out, and feeling like crap. Before that, you had Andrey to contend with, and a whole new world of emotions and sensations was thrown at you."

"Please don't make excuses for me."

"I'm not," Stacy says, shaking her head. "I'm pointing out facts. At the same time, you were being manipulated and trained as a foot soldier. Still have no idea why your father trained you like that."

"All Bratva and Mob get trained," Pavel tells us from the door. We turn and glare at him, and he shrugs. "Hey, I have to watch you. I can't help what I hear while I'm doing that."

"Anyway, like I was saying," Stacy continues, "I had been given a new life with better support. Okay, I still lived with the judges and my fucked up brother whenever he came home. But I had Gunner and Genevra, James, and you. It didn't matter about the rest. I finally had people who cared about me. Gunner and Genevra helped me get through school and college by helping me with projects and studying."

"More shit I should know."

"How were you supposed to know anything when no one told you?" Stacy asks.

"I should've asked."

"You did," she points out. "We were the ones that didn't tell you the truth when we answered."

"We're going to talk around in circles," I say. "Let's move away from my boohoos and onto how you found out about my engagement and when?"

"I was nearly nineteen, and I found out about your engagement when I fell in love with and eloped with the Belov you were supposed to marry!"