Chapter 5
5
DOM
The door clicks shut behind me quietly so I don’t wake Isla. I left the bedroom door open last night and ducked my head through the doorway this morning to check on her. Had my alarm set early to make sure she was all right. She was sound asleep, wrapped in my covers, surrounded by my things. It cleared the fog in my head from the early start and I couldn’t contain the swell of satisfaction, but I didn’t want to wake her. Last night was difficult. She earned her sleep. Instead, I decide to buy us breakfast. We need to talk about last night and it doesn’t seem like the conversation you have over cereal.
I jog down the stairs and slam my car door shut. I’m desperately trying not to think about how her soft lips pressed against mine, tongue sweeping in while I clutched her hips. All it does is send hope through me and thicken my cock.
Thankfully, when I arrive at Deja Brew I’ve gotten myself under control and don’t need to wait in the car until I’m fit for society. The last thing I need is gossip on The Esplanade about my dick.
The coffee shop’s warm and smells of cinnamon.
“Dom?” a shocked voice comes from behind the counter.
“Lily. Where’s the morning rush?” There are a few people sitting at tables, but there isn’t the usual line of people waiting for her coffee.
“You arrived before it. We only just opened.” She wipes her hands on her apron.
That would explain her shocked expression. Usually I sleep later, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Isla in my bed and finally being in my home. I spent a restless night checking on her, worried she’d leave, or the events of the night would hit her all at once. I could’ve slept in the guest bedroom, but was worried I’d miss her if she walked through the lounge and needed anything.
I shrug. “Could I get a latte and iced coffee with some of the cinnamon buns, please?” The girl at the till rings it up while Lily starts on the order.
“Seeing Isla today? I thought she’d just done your nails.”
I flex my left hand with flames on the nails, her phantom touch caressing me. “She did.”
Lily grins at me. “Did you finally tell her how you feel?”
My hand reaches for the food slowly, and the brown bag crinkles under my tight hold. “What do you mean?”
“Are you seeing her this morning? Have you professed your love?”
“There was an incident at the bar last night and I took her home to watch her.”
Her teasing grin drops. “Is she okay? What happened?”
“She’s all right. Just shaken.” I cough to clear my throat. “What do you mean, have I told her?” Does everyone but Isla know about my feelings? I didn’t think I was obvious. Barely see her except for our monthly appointment. The bar doesn’t count. I don’t always have time to talk to her.
Lily shifts on her feet. “I thought you finally told her everything.” She gestures at the coffee and tucks her arms together.
“I didn’t realise anyone knew…about it.”
“Dom, all you do is stare at her.”
I frown. Do I? I’m always aware of where she is, always know when she’s in the bar or walking into her shop, but hadn’t realised how obvious I was. I take the coffee tray and turn towards the door. I don’t make it three steps before I spin around and ask, “Does she know?”
Lily bites her cheek and shakes her head. “All I know is that she always asks what you’ve bought recently and if you’ve changed your coffee order. She makes sure she buys what you like on the days she sees you.”
I blink at Lily. Is that something friends do, or something you do when you’re interested in someone? Or is it because Isla’s thoughtful and wants to make me comfortable?
“Be honest with her. I think you’ll be surprised at the answer.”
I pause at Lily’s words, but by the time I have an answer, she’s disappeared and left me with her words in the middle of the coffee shop, trying to figure out what to say to Isla when I get home. Should I be honest with her? If Lily’s wrong, I could lose Isla as a friend, but if Lily’s right… Then I could have everything I’ve dreamed about for the last few years.
I could have Isla.
We could live together, and mix our books on the shelves, and I could hug her, and touch her, and kiss her. My breath comes faster as I start the car towards home. To Isla.
If I’m wrong, I could lose her, but if I risk it and I’m right… That outweighs the unknown. The possibility of seeing her every day.
I drive home slowly, conscious that if I let myself, I’d be rushing home and driving recklessly.
Need to know if she wants me too. Last night when she was on top of me fulfilled a longtime desire, her sweet lips pressed against mine. But when she’d gone to take off her blouse, I’d seen the gauze covering her hand. I couldn’t take advantage of her after the night she had. It wouldn’t be fair. She needed rest, and I didn’t want her in pain the first time we did anything. Isla deserves more.
I fumbled my words, but if it goes to plan, I’ll explain everything this morning. My stomach clenches at the thought of finally revealing my feelings to her. The reason I continue to show up at her nail salon, read the books she recommends, and why I make sure her table at the bar is given priority.
I jolt the car into park, gather the goods, and stride up the stairs. Want to speak to her as soon as possible. My steps slow to unlock the door. What if she isn’t awake yet? I can wait. Her coffee’s iced anyway. I’ll put it in the fridge and she can drink it when she wakes up.
The lounge is quiet, exactly as I left it, her shelf of books untouched except for the empty space where her favourite usually sits. The kitchen is quiet too as I put the food away. I sip my coffee, barely tasting it. I glance towards my room. Maybe I should check on her. To make sure she’s okay and finds everything she needs. There are fresh towels in the bathroom, but what if she can’t find them?
Sculling the rest of my coffee, I stall myself a few more minutes before I tread lightly to my room. If she’s asleep, I don’t want to wake her.
I nudge the door wider and peer into the dim room. The sheets are back in place, perfectly made as if she never slept in them. I frown. There’s no noise coming from the bathroom and the door’s open. I check anyway, and when I don’t find her, I fight the panic rising in my chest and search through all the rooms.
She’s gone.
Isla left without talking to me. Without letting me explain what happened last night. I collapse on my bed—the bed she slept in—and roll to my side. My eyes latch on the book I gave her and I launch upright. There’s a piece of paper sitting on it. Snatching the paper, I ignore my shaking hands and skim it quickly.
Dom,
Thank you for helping me last night. You made me feel safe after the disaster at the bar.
Don ’ t worry about coming to the appointment next month. I know you hate it. It was selfish of me to hold you to it. I ’ m sorry.
I ’ ll see you around,
Isla
The note drifts to the bed and I run my hand through my hair, tugging sharply to distract from the tightness in my throat.
She left.
And she told me not to come to our long-standing appointment. I don’t hate the appointment and never have. It’s the only chance I have to see her alone. Away from the bar. How can she think I hate it?
I cherish it.
I clear my throat and grasp the book I gave her. The spine is smooth and unbroken and there’s no bookmark in it. So she didn’t open the book. Hadn’t read it last night. Hadn’t seen the note I wrote on the dedication page.
Or she had and doesn’t feel the same way and ignored it. I open to the dedication page and brush a finger across the pen I wrote on it when I bought it for her. Got it a while ago when she mentioned it was one of her favourites. I hope she hasn’t seen the note. If she did see the note and still decided to leave, I don’t think I could take it. Don’t think I could see her without breaking down and begging her to reconsider.
I jump when someone knocks at the door. My heart pounds and I can’t hear over the rush of blood in my ears. Did she come back?
Gathering the book and her note in my hand, I stumble through the lounge to the door. If it is her, I need to be prepared.
I yank the door open, and my shoulders fall in disappointment.
“Hello, to you too,” Chloe says. Lachlan’s standing behind her holding paper bags from Deja Brew. Looks like we had the same idea, but mine’s still sitting on the kitchen bench, uneaten, with an iced coffee in the fridge Isla will never drink.
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to check on Isla. You left before I could check on her and then neither of you responded to our texts. Which would have been welcome, by the way. How’s her hand? Did she need to go to the hospital?”
I open the door wider so they can come in. “She was a bit shaken, but there wasn’t any glass in her hand and it didn’t need stitches.”
“Is she still asleep?” Chloe sips her coffee and sits on a barstool.
I avoid her gaze. “She left.”
“What do you mean?”
“I went to get food.” I nod at the full bags. “When I came back, she was gone. Left a note.” I tuck the book under my arm and fiddle with her note.
“What happened last night? Did you do something?” Chloe frowns and Lachlan brushes a hand down her back.
“No.”
She narrows her eyes. “She wouldn’t have left unless something happened. What did you say to her?”
“I kissed her,” it bursts out of me. Chloe grins, but her face drops as I continue. “But then I remembered she was hurt, so I stopped because I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable after what happened at the bar.”
Chloe pauses, her coffee cup hovering by her mouth before she sets it on the bench. “How did you word it to her?”
“I told her we’d talk in the morning. Something about it not being a good idea.” I put the note and book down so I can rub my eyes. “I’ve only just realised how that sounds. I didn’t want to push her, didn’t want her to regret it.”
Chloe takes the note from the bench, skims it quickly and scoffs. “You don’t believe this, do you?”
“Why shouldn’t I?” I cross my arms. “I’m not going to push her when she doesn’t want the same thing I do.”
“How do you know she doesn’t feel the same way?”
I sigh heavily. Can’t believe I’m going to bare my soul to them before Isla. “Before she went to sleep, I put her favourite book on the bedside table. I wrote a note in it. I think she saw it, realised she doesn’t feel the same way and left. Her note was on top of the book.”
She could’ve left the note on the pillow, or in the kitchen, but she left it on top of the book. Resting on top of my note. Pain rushes through me at the idea of her seeing the note and needing to leave because of it. Because of me.
Lachlan opens the book and flicks past a few pages before he finds the note. I don’t have the energy to stop him. If Isla doesn’t want me, my friends may as well know what happened.
“Is this the book you dragged me to an obscure bookshop in the city for? But that was…” Disbelief tinges his voice.
I nod. Lachlan hands the book to Chloe, who gapes at me after she reads what I wrote when I bought the book.
“Do you mean it?” she asks softly.
I nod again and squeeze my eyes closed. My skin feels raw. Their gazes heavy.
All I want to do is sleep and ignore today. Clinking on the bench forces my eyes open. Chloe taps her nails—decorated in leaves I know Isla did for her—on the granite. Nail polish shouldn’t send tightness through my chest, but it does.
Chloe blows out a breath. “You need to show her the book.”
“She’s seen it already. I won’t force something on her.”
“I know Isla didn’t read the note.”
“How can you possibly know that?”
“Do you think she needs to practice painting someone’s nails? She has clients for that and trainings she runs. She does it for you. So she can see you. I only found out about your book exchange yesterday.” She nudges the book closer to me. “I think she freaked out when you refused her, overthought it, and now thinks she offended you. You need to talk to her.”
I tug at my hair. “None of this makes sense.”
“Talk to her. She walks on the beach every morning.” Chloe stands and heads for the door, Lachlan trailing after her. “Show her the book, Dominic.” She closes the door and leaves silence behind her.
Thoughts swirl around me. Is she right? I had wondered why Isla still wanted to practice on someone, but I never questioned it because I got to see her.
My hands shake as I grab my keys and the book and head for the door.
Two people have told me to be honest with her and explain everything. I have to take the chance. I need to believe them and tell Isla, otherwise I might never see her again. Never get to give her all the books with notes.
Never tell her I love her.