Chapter 3

By the timeI make it to the front of the bar, I see Ronan. He gives me a nod as I approach, and he’s scanning me already for any potential weapons. I roll my eyes.

“I don’t have anything, you know that.”

He smiles, his perfect teeth almost blinding me. His neck and chest tattoos are peeking through his open-collared shirt. His work attire is a little different than the other security guys. They usually wear a black shirt with SECURITY labeled on the back. But he’s wearing a rich purple dress shirt that looks like it’s made of silk. How fitting.

I look up at him again, and he laughs. “I know, princesa. Just doing my job so the big boss can see.”

“Aren’t you the boss?” I ask. He’s the head of security here, and it’s his security company.

He shakes his head and throws his thumb toward the purple neon glowing sign above us.

Blackbird Silhouettes

“River?” I ask, noting my boss’s name—the bar and secret club owner.

He nods before crossing his arms over his chest. With this movement, I see his shirt ride up a little to showcase his holster on the waistband of his dress pants. I’ve never seen Ronan have to utilize his gun, but then again, I moved down to the club just three months into working here.

I used to be a waitress on the main bar floor until my roommate put in a good word for me to River, and now I’m living my dreams, financially at least.

“I’ll let you know if any of your regulars show,” he states. I give him a smile before slipping through the black door and into the bar.

There aren’t many patrons in the bar, just a few stragglers at the counter, and then a few couples are drinking—most likely finishing up their dinner dates. The floor pulses a little underneath my feet, meaning the shows have started downstairs.

Willow said she wanted to start doing shows the other day, so I wonder if she’ll be up on the stage tonight. I also can’t remember if we have an event. I have felt so scatterbrained since Dad, Clementine, and Frankie visited.

I head toward the back, waving to our bartenders before meeting the other security guy, Terry, near the back of the bar. He’s manning the door and gives me a once over before nodding and letting me through. It’s pitch black until I head down the lengthy stairs and turn the corner, seeing the purple glow of another neon sign.

Black Silk Club

The music seems to intensify as I enter the sex club, and I see girls already dancing on stage with masks and members, wealthier than the people upstairs, watching from a distance in their velvet chairs. Their bracelets reflect brightly under the lights.

I quickly ruffle through my purse for a simple black eye mask and put it over my face before heading through the club hallway until I’m near the employee’s lounge. I keep my fancier masks in my locker. I never take those outside of the club.

The music continues to pulse as I enter the employee’s lounge and see some girls getting ready in front of their vanities. Angelique is curling her hair to the far right at our hair station, and Veronica is fixing her dress. Willow is finishing up picking a garter up from our center table before giving me a wave and walking out.

I take my time saying hello to the girls before I find the lockers down a small hall to the left of the lounge, quickly stuff my purse, and grab my main mask. It’s a delicate black lace detailed mask with purple silk ties. There’s a mirror in my locker that I use to put it on before I freshen up a little with the products I have stashed.

My shift is usually four hours, but if a girl is out sick or more girls get called into rooms, I stay longer for the other members. Most days, I typically work the front of the house since I came from upstairs and have cocktail experience. I like conversing with our members when giving them their drinks and encouraging them to come back with a bracelet. I also like to tell them who the best girls are to get rooms with based on their bracelet color and flower charms.

River has been wanting me to get more comfortable and see if there were any rooms I’d like to try either on my own or with a trusted member, but I’ve yet to really experience it. I’ve tried exploring more in my bedroom than here, but an inkling of curiosity makes me want to push past that comfort zone, grab a member, and bring them to one of the many rooms we have down here.

But first I want to trust the members and make sure I feel comfortable enough to be in a room alone with them. I went on a few dates with a member outside the club–that didn’t last long and we only hooked up a few times. The idea of going into a room with him freaked me out and I wasn’t ready, but he didn’t push.

My coworkers make it seem so easy to find a regular. They’ve built amazing relationships with our clientele, and I hope to be there someday, but I’m still super hesitant.

“Rosalíaaaaa, are you here?” River’s voice drifts through the lounge before it gets louder, and I see a peek of her jet-black hair leaning over a wall to my right. Even though we try to keep to our club nicknames when working, we converse in the back with our real ones. Like now.

“Yeah, boss?” I ask, spinning around to see her finally show herself. Her main attire is a purple silk dress with a black mask and clear heels. She’s inadvertently matching Ronan.

River’s got members of her own, but I’ve never seen her go back with any of them since working here. She’s our main Dominatrix.

She must do it all when the club is closed and on her own hours.

Her dark red lips press together before she looks me up and down, but it’s not in a condescending way. Her lips curl into a smile.

“I want you to be more involved tonight. Maybe the stage?”

My eyes bug out of their sockets, and my heart picks up its pace for a moment. “What? The stage?”

She nods. “If you’re up for it, of course. I see the way you look at the girls up there. You look at them in envy and?—”

“You saw that?” I can feel the heat rise to my cheeks, but I don’t lift my hands to rub them. River smiles even more broadly before nodding.

“And curiosity, Rosalía. It’s okay to do it at your own pace. It’s okay to go steady. But I don’t want my girls here feeling less than confident in their bodies. It deserves to be worshipped.”

I smile sheepishly. I don’t have a body like a Victoria”s Secret model by any means, but I attempt to appreciate her words. River loves to embrace the human body. She wants all her girls to be confident and take what they need to feel satiated. That ultimately means that we need to be able to be satiated sexually.

River made sure to vet all club members to the extent that if we were to be asked to meet outside of the club, we’d be respected in every avenue, or else their membership could be revoked, and any legal action would be taken with full support.

I’ve yet to hear any horror stories about members who forced a club girl to do something she didn’t want to do. Or anything terrible happening outside of the club.

Having so many rules inside Black Silk helps keep things maintainable. For instance, alcohol and drugs are strictly prohibited for members who participate in rooms or are alone with the girls. Only members who want to watch and have no interest in participating in anything are allowed alcohol. We can tell who’s participating or not by their vine bracelets.

Silver means no participation, just looking. Rose Gold means interest and possibly participating. Gold is for members who know they will participate. Black is for the members who are already in Dominant and Submissive relationships, so we don’t really converse with them. They come to the club with their partners for privacy in our rooms.

The flower charms on the rose gold and gold bracelets indicate which kink room the members want to utilize for the night.

I briefly think back to the member I got close with outside the club. Reeve always respected my boundaries when we were together. Both outside and inside. He paid for everything, spoiled me when I didn’t even ask for it, and the sex was—well, it was incredible. I can’t deny that. But something was missing for me to continue in both the outside world and in Black Silk—a spark, so to speak.

“Well?” River’s voice breaks me out of my thoughts, and I shift my weight onto one foot.

“I know, but I don’t know if tonight is my night.” Plus, the idea of dancing makes my stomach churn. I’ve never danced in front of a man and having this mask on doesn’t make it any different. “I’m pretty tired from my dad visiting and I feel bloated, just having dinner with my dad’s best?—”

“Sounds like excuses,” she apprehends me with a raised brow.

I want to roll my eyes at her, but I know she’s right. She’s not pushing me. She wants me to find the confidence to step up and do something I internally want to try.

I want to get on that damn stage and own the night. I want to have members flocking to me to have time in a room whether it’s an hour or even more. The money would be a plus.

Coming to this job as a bartender was fine, but now that I’m downstairs, I second-guess everything. It’s not even intentional, and no one knows, at least I hope not. It’s like a mental game of whether or not I feel my best. I’ve found myself feeling less than compared to the amazing girls here. But I know it’s just me. The girls are great and compliment me any chance they get, but my mind plays tricks on me and makes me think it’s not true.

River hasn’t mentioned anything, and the girls don’t bring it up if they have noticed. Luisa hasn’t brought it up either in the club or back at our apartment.

Having dinner tonight with Frankie made me forget it all. I didn’t check my alcohol intake and if the sugar content was too much. I didn’t give a damn about stuffing my face with a roast chicken.

And the way Frankie looked at me all day today made me forget the whole plan I conceived about working out until I burned all those calories.

So really, I don’t even know what is holding me back from doing more in this club.

Probably myself.

River takes a step closer to me, and her hazel eyes bore into mine. She lifts a finger, presses it under my chin, and lifts until I’m forced to look at her.

“You never know what might happen tonight.”

I stay still, watching her eyes search mine. I gulp, unsure what to say. My fingers itch, and I lose all my confidence right there. Sweat is starting to creep at the nape of my neck, and I want to freshen up all over again.

Without a moment’s notice, River drops her finger and smiles. “Trust me, Rosalía.” She pauses. “You know I only want what’s best for you, right? You don’t have to try it tonight, but I’d like you to think about it.”

I nod. “I know. I trust you, River.”

“Good. You deserve to be worshipped in every way. I want my line blowing up with calls to get access to this club because of a pretty little thing like you making my members want even a peek at you. You deserve that glory.”

Do I?

I look at her before she takes a step back. I take a deep breath, watch her turn on her heels, and leave the room. My gaze moves to the mirror in my locker, and I watch my reflection.

The way my curled locks frame my face and the mask that covers almost my whole face. My eyes are bright against the black lace, and even my boobs are peeking out a little from the top I’m wearing.

Change.

The devil’s voice of reason is starting to sound more like River’s advocate, and I want to lean into it. There’s a lilac lace corset that accentuates my waist as well as pushes my breasts to look even bigger than they are. Right under it is a black silk mini-skirt and clear pumps.

I contemplate staying in the clothes I’m in, but I want what River mentioned. I deserve the attention and members to fawn over me. The thrill of it all and the prospect of having members drool over me is what I need tonight.

My thoughts drift to Frankie for a moment, and the silliest idea of wondering how he’d react if he saw me in this ensemble fills my brain.

Would he like it?

Would he rather rip it to shreds before worshipping my body?

Without a second thought, I grab the outfit and slam the locker shut before heading to the changing room.