You Don’t Own Me

M y dinner isn’t sitting well and I’m having trouble following the shit going on at Oriel’s meeting. This is the longest fucking school day I’ve ever experienced, and that paired with the constant acrimony with my new ‘friends’ is making my entire body lock up. Dottie is pressed close to my neck, which helps slow down my pulse, but it doesn’t prevent me from feeling trapped. I’m not claustrophobic, but the walls are closing in on me. It’s so much to handle all at once; I don’t know how to keep it together.

“Kit, you’re wound so tightly you feel as if you’re going to explode,” Oriel murmurs in a very low tone. “Does the purpose of my activity upset you?”

I shake my head, giving him a small smile. “Hell no. I couldn’t care less about stealing; it’s hard to have black and white morals like that in the system. Sometimes, you have to do things others would judge for you to survive. How often that happens depends on the time you spend in group homes or with bad fosters. I’ve never given a shit about conventional ideas of right and wrong.”

“Interesting,” he murmurs. “Your flexibility is very appealing, Kit Kat. Morally and mentally, I mean.”

My brows fly up when he hurriedly adds that qualifier. What the hell does that mean? Licking my lips, I try to figure out what I’m going to say in response. I find my tongue, keeping my voice soft as the people in the guild continue their speeches. “Thanks, I guess. I’m an odd duck, I know. Most people avoided me at home, and it’s because I purposely kept them at arm’s length. How is this thing X and Jasper agreed to going to change that?”

“I can’t tell you much beforehand; it’s a… rule. But it will help you fit in and it will protect you in a lot of ways. Plus, if you’ve never had a family who’d jump in front of a rabid were before, you will now. Does that help?”

I wrinkle my nose as I stroke my finger over Dottie’s tail. No fucking way am I jumping in front of anything for Jasper Eversore. He can choke on a werewolf dick before I do that. “I don’t know if I believe that part. Jasper and Slash obviously hate me. I don’t know about Anton and Zav. But you, Salem, and X seem to be pretty cool.”

“Something to add, Mister Camponella? It’s unheard of for an unemerged hybrid to attend a Thieves’ Guild event.” The pointed question from the huge ass red-skinned demon at the lectern makes me wince. His smile is mocking and his mouth is full of sharp fangs—I don’t think he’s a hybrid like my guys based on the way he said the word.

Awesome, I’ve found the demon racists.

“Uh, nothing to add. Thanks for checking, though.” I paste on a friendly expression, hoping the vengeful bitchiness I feel about being publicly called out isn’t showing. Oriel snorts, covering his mouth as he looks away.

Guess I was wrong.

“Perhaps if you have nothing to add—and your uselessness in every aspect makes that a foregone conclusion—you might keep your fucking mouth closed, then? The adults are speaking and you shouldn’t even be at the table, human.”

Before O can stop me, I shoot to my feet, glaring at the ugly, horned motherfucker. I don’t know what’s gotten into me since I arrived at Discordia, but I’m not willing to let people trample on me in public like I was at home. This jackass is spoiling for a fight and he’s going to get one, even if it kills me. “Last I checked, every person at this school has a seat at some table, asshole. Given you sit with the knuckle-dragging morons, I’m okay with not being invited to yours. But this group isn’t your table until you win this vote—which you’d all be fucking tools not to elect Oriel. He’s a million times more skilled than you.”

I don’t know that, but it sounds good and by the surprised noise next to me, I think I’m right.

“Oriel hates people. He’s not even running, scum.” The demon stands tall, assessing me as our gazes lock in stubborn confrontation. “The crow half-breed has no interest in being a leader.”

My lip curls up at his nasty words and I feel my hands shake in the fists by my waist. “Even unwilling, he’d be a better leader than you. I doubt you could steal an apple from a tree. You’re a loud, pompous dick who overcompensates for his… shortcomings… by being a bully.”

“Kit…” Oriel says, his hand touching mine. I jump a little and he frowns. Within seconds, he’s on his feet, smirking at the guy I’m berating. “What do you know, Bastion? All it took was a new guy to remind me how woefully shitty this guild is because it lets fools like you take charge. I guess I have no choice but to toss my wings in the ring.”

Whispers break out in the crowd as the demons and hybrids react to his declaration. I’ve likely fucked up this entire meeting because I refused to let one dipshit be nasty to me. Kat Camponella is not a troublemaker, but I can’t say the same for Kit. My dude persona is out of control. I lean closer to O, muttering under my breath. “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to corner you.”

His grin is gorgeous and lights up his darkness. “Don’t be. I enjoyed the fuck out of you going at it with that shitty example of an avaritia daemonium . He doesn’t deserve the title or the attention it would bring him.”

“Jasper would be stoked if you win, too,” I mumble, hoping to make myself feel better for forcing a less extroverted person to take the spotlight. “You can leave out my part in it.”

“Why would I do something stupid like that?” Oriel winks at me. “I can’t wait to report this shit.”

Me and my fat mouth really appreciate that, dude.

To no one’s shock, Oriel wins the damn vote and now I’m stuck following him to what he calls ‘the workspace’ in Jasper’s room. I have no desire to go into the Prince’s room, much less be trapped there with the rest of them, but I did this to myself. My thieving escort is more excited than I’ve seen him so far, almost having a pep in his step as we exit the elevator and head down our hallway. He winks at me as he raps on the heavy mahogany door in a weird pattern.

“You have a secret knock? Demons are way lamer than humans realize,” I grumble. “All my reading didn’t prepare me for you guys to be just as sucky as us, but with magic.”

“Don’t be a hater, Kit Kat. The knock was my idea.”

I snort. “That doesn’t make it any less lame. I don’t like you that much, Oriel.”

His eyes dance as he leans in closer than I’m comfortable with, his expression unreadable. “Maybe I don’t believe you about that. What would you say then?”

The oxygen is sucked out of the hallway as I look at him inches from my face in panic. I’m not afraid of him like I am most males who get close; no, my PTSD doesn’t even raise its head. However, I am feeling itchy and hot with his lips near mine in the dim light of the dorm hall at night. Swallowing hard, I try to figure out what to do.

He knows I’m a boy. I mean, I haven’t fucked it up already, right?

Oriel tilts his head as he watches me struggle, studying my face as if he’s memorizing it. “You don’t believe it, either. Good to know.”

“I… Who said that?” I blurt defensively.

“Your face did. I don’t need the words when I can see it in your eyes, man.” The door opens, and he pulls back, giving the grumpy-looking shark shifter standing there a cheerful smile. “Wait ‘till Jas hears what happened!”

Slash glares at me, his gigantic frame blocking the view of the room. “No one said to bring him here.”

For fuck’s sake…

“I’ll go. I don’t care about the victory lap, O. I have studying to do anyway,” I say as I back away slowly.

“But Kit Kat…”

Shaking my head as I ignore the satisfied smirk of the big demon in the doorway, I turn on my heel and walk towards my dorm. I keep my head held high and my spine straight as Dottie and I disappear into the room. Once I’m inside, I lean against the wood, closing my eyes as my heart races in my chest. The rejection paired with the weirdly intimate moment with Oriel beforehand has me barreling towards an awful night.

I don’t care if they won’t let me into their stupid royal club house.

But I know that’s not true because they want me to do some demon binding bullshit. How can I be tied to them if they’re going to exclude me? I stomp over to the fridge, pulling out a container of what Salem told me was fruit earlier in the day. Sitting at the counter, I watch as Dottie nibbles on it, smiling softly. At least I have her with me—that’s more than I’ve ever had before.

The kinkajou offers something that looks like a fucked up version of a raspberry, and I take it. Popping it in my mouth, I’m surprised to find it’s delicious, but I can’t identify exactly what fruit it’s like. I grin at Dottie, leaning down to take another. “It’s like a party in my mouth. Good choice, girl.”

“Well, that’s the first time I’ve heard anyone describe crunkleberries that way, and I don’t know if I’ll survive it.”

Whipping around, I hold my fists up at the intruder. It might not help, but if someone’s come to take me out, I won’t go down easy. “Show yourself!”

An exasperated sigh echoes through the room and I’m shocked to see Zavida appear out of thin air. “You’re no fun, Kit. I wanted to pretend to be some all knowing deity voice like in a game. Now I’m just me and it’s far less impressive.”

I put my hand on my chest, letting my pulse slow as I stare at the nerdy Kitsuné. Perhaps the others know he can be invisible and appear without a damn portal, but I didn’t. That scares the hell out of me. Luckily for me, I hadn’t started getting undressed or said anything that would reveal my secret status. “Zav, you can’t just appear in my room without being invited and hide while you creep on me.”

He frowns, walking over to the island. “I wasn’t creeping . You seemed lost in thought and I actually came to bring you to the study session. O said Slash scared you off, and that bothered me. You can’t be part of our caliphate if you aren’t part of our caliphate, you know?”

“I don’t think Jasper and Slash agree,” I murmur as Dottie hands me another berry. “Fuck, these things are good. Why didn’t Salem lead with them?”

Zavida flushes a little and I don’t get why, but he ignores my statement. “They’re suspicious, but that’s just because of who and what they are. I promise you won’t have to deal with it for long and the ceremony will actually help with it.”

“Oh goody,” I reply with an eye roll. “Just what I wanted for Christmas.”

“Kit, come to the study session. Seriously. We can help with your questions and um, Jasper doesn’t believe Oriel about his meeting.” The redheaded gamer shrugs, looking sheepish as he pushes up his glasses. “He could use your help, if that matters.”

Damn it, why did he have to go there and why the fuck is it actually working on me?