95. Tessa

95

Tessa

W hen I reach the cabin, I pause on the stoop. The sound of arguing drifts out, and I briefly entertain the idea of running away. I still have Dad's credit card tucked away somewhere. Pretty sure it has no limit. Maybe if I take the kids to a remote island, we can live a peaceful life.

Then I mentally slap myself.

The kids would hate me if I ripped them away from the life they have. It's not perfect, but Harry has settled at school and Chloe loves her nursery. They both love the guys too, which is why I'm so nervous about taking the next step.

It doesn't matter how many times Stella tells me they're committed. Until I hear it from their lips, I won't believe it.

Sure, Cin's posted some shit on Instagram. We all know making something Insta-official is meaningless. Celebs do it all the time. One day Jewel Silver is engaged to Xavier Cookson, and the next, they've broken up and she's papped with some other tatted dude.

Nothing lasts forever.

And it definitely doesn't in my world.

Stella's life is the exception to the rule. Her guys have fully committed to their relationship and they have the kids to prove it, but it doesn't mean mine are.

The door swings open, and a blast of warm, vanilla scented air hits me in the face.

"Tess, why are you standing out here? It's freezing!" Kade grabs my wrist and tugs me inside.

I'm greeted by a million candles on every surface, twinkling like tiny stars. It's beautiful. Like a romantic movie. Judging by Cin's smug grin, this was his idea. Even though I'm pretty sure lighting candles in a timber cabin is a massive fire risk, I decide not to ruin the moment.

In the background, the fire blazes away, and to the left, there is a bottle of champagne sitting on the kitchen counter.

Kade pushes a glass of fizz into my hand.

"What's going on? Are we celebrating something?" Cin''s practically dancing on his feet while Madden elbows him.

"Calm down, you're ruining the moment!" he hisses.

"I can't help it! I've never done this before!"

"You have, actually," Kade says with a smirk. "Linda Carloni, when you were 9. You sprinkled rose petals all over her lunch box and she smacked you in the face because the petals had black flies on them and they got stuck in her egg roll."

Cin's face turns from excited to murderous. He goes to punch Kade, but Madden holds him back while trying not to laugh.

And me? Well, I'm confused. I feel like I'm watching a telenovela after missing a few crucial episodes.

Before I can say anything, all three of them drop to their knees and Cin pulls out a small box.

There's a pause while they exchange a glance. My heart begins to pound. What on earth is going on?

"Tessa, you are my everything. I can't imagine a world without you and the kids in it. And I don't want to," Kade says earnestly. "Baby, I love you."

"Tessa, you are ours, and we are yours, and I love you." Madden looks more nervous than I've ever seen him. For a man who loves to be in control, it's obvious this whole setup is well outside of his comfort levels.

"Tessa, I love you to the moon and back. Will you marry us?" Cin looks up at me anxiously, his red-brown hair sticking up in every direction like he's spent the last hour raking it with his fingers. Judging by the way his jaw ticks with nerves, he probably has.

"Erm..." I'm stunned. The ring he thrusts in my direction looks like the size of the moon. A massive heart-shaped diamond in a platinum band. I'm no expert, but it looks expensive.

I look at Madden and Kade. They glance at each other and then at me. The tension in the room is stifling.

This is not what I was expecting. I figured we'd talk, fuck, and then go our separate ways again. The guys have their own lives that don't include me. Cin might have declared we're in a relationship to his millions of followers, but it means nothing.

"Please say something, sweetness, we're dying here."

How did I get it so wrong? "I thought you were all going to dump me," I admit. "We've hardly seen each other lately."

The guys exchange glances, but Cin is the first one to jump up. He shoves the ring at Madden and takes me in his arms.

"Sweetness, I'm so sorry you thought that. We wanted this to be a surprise, and there were a few things that needed sorting first."

My head is a mess. None of this makes sense. Why on earth would these men want to hitch their wagon to a disaster like me?

I turn to Kade. "What about Candy the stripper?" He rolls his eyes.

"I had two dates with Candy. A year ago. The only woman I want is you, kitten."

"What about kids? Do you want kids?" It's not something we've talked about. Mostly, we've been surviving all the threats against me. There hasn't been time for serious discussions about what a relationship between us looks like.

"I'd like kids," Madden says carefully, "but it's entirely up to you. Harry and Chloe are as much ours as yours."

"Chloe thinks I'm her Dada anyway," Cin points out smugly.

"I'm not sure I want any more kids," I tell them honestly. "But I'm willing to put a pin in it. Where are we going to live? I can't stay in my father's apartment forever."

"That's something to discuss later," Kade says.

I chew it over before asking the one thing that matters more than anything else.

"What about my father?" Kade knows what I'm asking. He knows how much I hate my father's life. It's dangerous, brutal, and I do not want my kids to grow up like I did - sent away to a different country because it's safer.

"Things are calm now that Mashkov is no longer on the board, and your uncle is dead," Kade hedges. But we both know the situation could change in a heartbeat. Alliances form, new players come along, and truces fall.

"I don't want to be a part of that life, Kade." He nods.

"Your father has agreed to let me leave."

"He has?" You become a made man, and it's for life. The only way out is in a coffin.

"We talked. He knows how you feel, and for the record, he's sorry about everything. He wants what's best for you, Tessa, and he knows how I feel about you. And also how these guys feel. So he's agreed to let me go. He saved my life when I had nothing, and I saved you, so we're even."

"And you're really out?"

"Yes. I handed over everything to Franco yesterday. I'll be working with Madden and my brother going forward, doing security for pampered A-listers."

They're all staring at me as I think about everything. Stella's right. They are committed and I need to give this a chance. If I don't, I'll regret it for the rest of my life. If Stella can make it work with her guys, I can too.

So I say what I feel. Even if it's a disaster. Even if this is another shit decision in a long line of shit decisions.

"Yes." My eyes burn with unshed tears. This has to be a dream, right? "I love you all, too!" I choke on a sob.

"Oh thank fuck," Kade mutters as Cin slides the massive ring on my finger and grins like he's the happiest man in the world. Madden says nothing. He just jumps to his feet and pulls me into his arms, holding me so tight I think I might burst. When he finally releases me, Cin does the same, and then Kade follows suit.

"Why are you crying, baby?" he asks, looking worried when he steps back. "Stella said you'd be happy! It's the vanilla-scented candles, isn't it? I told Cin scented candles are stupid!"

"I am happy!" I laugh, still crying, while looking at the ring on my finger. It's fucking heavy.

God, I bet my mascara has run and my eyes are red. On top of my hangover, this is not a good look. Cin better not post any photos of me online. If he does, it will be the shortest engagement in history.

I look up to see him pointing his iPhone at me with a smirk.

"Don't you dare," I warn raising my hand threateningly, but he just laughs.

"Stella made me promise to let her know how it went," he explains. "I can't disappoint her. She's scary as fuck," he adds with a shudder.

He's not wrong. My best friend is very protective of those she loves. Lucky for me, I'm one of them.