93. Tessa

93

Tessa

S ince the hospital discharged me, Chloe has refused to leave my side, but Harry is back in school and appears to have recovered from the trauma of the car accident. We're back living in my father's penthouse apartment and life is... well, I'm not sure.

I ought to be happy, but after living under a threat for so long, my body is still in fight or flight mode. Every time a car backfires, I freeze. Each time we pass the intersection where the cars hit us, I have a panic attack.

It's debilitating and I'm not sure how to move forward. The guys are still around, at least. All of them are keeping me at arm's length. Nobody has so much as kissed me since I left hospital, although Cin's been helping me shower, so I don't get my dressing wet.

"How you doing, babe?" Stella asks during our daily FaceTime.

"I'm OK." It's my standard response. My father got the same answer when he called me earlier. As did Kade.

Stella narrows her eyes. "You're not though, are you?"

"What do you mean?" I huff, slightly irritated that she sees through my feeble attempt at pretense.

"Look, Tess, it's OK to admit you are struggling. I get it. Honestly? I was a freaking mess after the whole Silva shit show. I tried to pretend I was fine, but I had nightmares for months."

I think back and frown. "But you acted like you were fine?"

"I wasn't. Dad was acquitted and then we had exams around that time, if you remember, so all that was a helpful distraction. But being kidnapped messed me up massively, and I struggled. I think what worked for me was getting away for the summer. Spending time at the beach with the guys let me work through it all in my own time."

"And then you found out you were pregnant."

She laughs. "Yeah. After that, I had a whole new set of problems to worry about!"

"So you reckon a break somewhere far away from here would help?"

"It might. Why don't you bring the kids to ours? It's Thanksgiving soon. Stay for a week? You can fetch the guys. We have loads of room."

Maybe it will help. I was planning to hole up here, in the apartment, but the thought of spending some time with my bestie sounds a lot more fun. I'm not sure if the guys would want to come, though.

"I expect the guys have work to do. Dad's keeping Kade busy and Madden and Cin have a new job starting on Monday, so they're leaving on Sunday."

"Oh, OK. I assumed they'd be sticking around longer." She looks away and says something to Harley, who's just walked into the bedroom.

"Look, I gotta go, babe. Speak tomorrow?"

"Sure."

Stella's waiting on the porch when I pull up outside her house. Harry unfastens his seatbelt the moment the engine switches off, and before I can yell at him, he's out of the car.

Buttons whines until I undo her harness, and then she leaps out of the car too. I carry Chloe in, leaving the bags for one of the Stella's guys to sort. I only have one pair of hands, after all.

Being here should make me happy, but I feel flatter than a pancake. Kade's working on something for my father, and the other two headed off on a new contract a week ago.

While Cin messages me daily, Madden doesn't contribute much to the group chat, so it feels like there is a chasm between us wider than the Grand Canyon.

Honestly, I'm almost certain this is a breakup in slow motion. What does Savannah call it? A slow fade.

Maybe I'm being overly sensitive. Who knows. All I do know is that the guys are hardly ever here and I'm on my own in an apartment that doesn't feel like a home, in a city where I have no friends.

"You look like shit," Stella comments, as blunt as ever.

"Gee, thanks." Nothing like a best friend to give it to you straight.

"Come and sit down. Quinn's cooking and Juno has agreed to entertain Chloe for a bit."

"Are you paying her?" Juno rarely does anything for free these days. That kid is a Fortune 500 CEO in the making. Not sure where she gets it from because Harley is all about having fun, not hustling.

"Of course. She made me Venmo a hundred bucks before she'd agree."

"Sucker."

"Hey, it's worth it. Besides, I did it from Brax's phone when he was asleep, so it comes out of his account." She grins at me and pulls me into the snug, where she has an open bottle of wine ready and waiting.

"You don't normally drink?"

"I know, but I figured we could both do with letting loose for the evening." She makes a point. After all the shit I've been through lately, a few drinks will do me the world of good.