45. Tessa

45

Tessa

B uttons lifts her head and licks my hand like she feels my pain. I've read that dogs can be surprisingly empathetic to human emotions, so maybe she's picking up on my anxiety. She wriggles onto her back when I stroke her soft fur, inviting me to rub her belly.

The little minx isn't supposed to be allowed on the bed, but Harry encourages her and I haven't had the heart to push her away. He needs comfort. We both do.

Buttons is a small beacon of light in the darkness. She loves unconditionally and Harry adores her. And as Cin keeps telling me, caring for a pet is an excellent lesson in responsibility.

I think he's full of shit, but whatever. We have Buttons now and there's no way I can take her away from Harry. Not after everything he's been through. Fuck knows how I'll manage a dog once we get back to normal life, but that's a problem for future Tessa.

Before Enzo showed up, Harry was happy to have his own room. He loves the Peppa Pig wallpaper, toddler bed, and toy boxes. It's the perfect setup for a small boy. How Kade managed to fit his massive body in this bed when he stayed is a mystery, but I choose not to think about Kade's body. It's way too dangerous.

Harry's whimpers woke me up, so I came in to check on him. He seems to have fallen back to sleep in the time it took me to get here, thank goodness. Having Buttons with him is definitely helping, even if she peed on the floor the first night.

Madden grumbled about that but she's very clean for a puppy and we've had no accidents since.

Harry mumbles in his sleep, and I stroke his cheek. Buttons licks me again and then snuggles up to him, watching me as if to say, you're fine, I got him . I stand, fully intending to go back to bed, but a shadow appears in the doorway.

"Is he alright?" It's Madden.

I edge out of Harry's room and pull the door closed before replying, not wanting Harry to wake up this early.

"I think so. Bad dream."

"I'm not surprised," Madden sighs. "How are you doing?"

"I'm OK," I lie. I'm really not OK at all, but there's little point in admitting that. The guys are already doing everything they can to keep us safe.

"I need a drink. Do you want one?"

I realize he's still dressed. Has he not been to bed? It's well past 3 AM. A drink sounds good, though. As tired as I am, I'm too wired to be sleepy.

"Sure." Madden walks through into the living room and unlocks the cabinet in the corner, where he keeps his booze. He pours two glasses of whiskey and hands me one.

"This might help you sleep." The liquor slides down my throat like fire. I'm not a huge whiskey fan, but this is good stuff. Mellow with hints of vanilla and spice.

Madden takes a seat on the sofa and sips his drink, his face cast in shadow. The only illumination comes from a small table lamp, and the fire has long since burned out, although there are still a few glowing embers in the grate and it wouldn't take much to get it going again.

"I spoke to Kade. He's stepped up the search for Enzo. Cin remembered the license plate of the truck he was driving. Cams picked it up outside a motel an hour ago."

"What's going to happen to him?"

Madden looks up, fixing me with an inscrutable look. "Do you care?"

I think about that for a moment, and the answer is no, I don't care. Not after what he's done to us. "Not really."

"It's up to your father." The father I've not heard from since Kade dumped me and the kids here. Not that I'm surprised. He probably assumes paying someone to take care of me is enough.

I down the rest of the whiskey. It's late. I should get some sleep. Knowing Harry, the moment the sky begins to lighten outside, he'll be up and out of bed.

"Tessa?" Madden's voice startles me. When I look up, he's still watching me.

"What?" He stands and walks over to me, taking the empty glass from my hand and placing it on the coffee table. Before I can react, he pulls me into his arms. For a moment, I am paralyzed. Unable to move.

This is the first time he's touched me since I cut my foot on broken glass and he patched me up. Not gonna lie: having his arms around me feels pretty damned good.

"It's OK to admit you're struggling, Tessa. You don't need to pretend to be strong all the time." I rest my cheek on his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart. He smells like wood smoke and whiskey.

Masculine.

Reassuring.

Oh-so-attractive.

"Whatever happens, we got you. You know that, right?"

What I do know is that he's just being nice. "Of course. It's your job."

I keep my tone light and breezy. There's no sense in pretending this is anything other than Madden feeling sorry for me. Like he would feel sorry for any of his clients when they're in a shitty place.

"Baby, you're so much more than a job ."