16. Tessa

16

Tessa

T he torrent of fast-flowing water raging under the bridge is a source of great fascination to Harry. We spend a while standing on the bridge throwing sticks into the water so he can watch them get swept away downstream.

It keeps him entertained while I struggle to calm my rioting hormones. The high humidity levels are not the only reason I'm overheating. The sight of a shirtless Cin swinging a chainsaw around is enough to give any woman palpitations. I swear that man is sex personified.

I don't have social media, but if I did, I'd be stalking his ass, liking every one of his photos, and getting myself off to them every night. At least Madden is wearing a tee shirt. Not that it helps.

The fabric barely contains his muscles. Every time he moves, I half expect the damn thing to rip apart, like in the old Incredible Hulk movies. And then we have Kade, who is more than enough to make my ovaries whimper.

I'm not stupid. I understood exactly what Cin was hinting at with his dumb talk of snakes. Fucking asshole. Being told Kade has a massive dick does nothing to cool my ardor. If anything, it makes it worse.

I've had to make do with Enzo's mediocre dick for several years now. While it's not the smallest dick I've ever seen, it doesn't match up to my favorite vibrator, which is currently stashed in my nightstand at home.

God. I could do with it here. Only the chance of having any time to myself is minimal, at best. Maybe I can snatch five minutes in the shower later? Given how turned on I am right now, two minutes will be plenty of time to get off, which leaves me three minutes to wash and condition my hair.

"Tessa! Chloe's crying!"

Fuck, I bet she's hungry. She barely touched her lunch. I tried making her some toast soldiers with baked beans, but she tossed the toast on the floor, much to Harry's delight, and smeared the beans in her hair.

Maybe she'll eat some cookie.

"Coming!"

My baby girl is sobbing her little heart out when I reach her. "Mummummamma," she grizzles, grabbing my boob aggressively. I sigh. She wants milk. I'm trying to wean her off my boobs, but the little minx is resistant.

It's less about milk and more about comfort. When she's at daycare, she goes all day without me, and is happy to drink water and formula from a sippy cup or bottle. But because I'm here, she wants my milk.

Enzo hated the idea of breastfeeding. Whenever I put one of our babies to my breast, he said I looked like a cow with saggy udders. Unsurprisingly, this killed my confidence, and it was already at rock bottom. I mean, I know he's right. My boobs are massive since I had kids. And they definitely aren't as perky as they once were. There's not much I can do about it unless I cough up for surgery, which clearly I'm not going to do. Because, hello , I have no money.

The guys are busy, so I pick Chloe up, pulling Harry with me, and move out of their way and into a small clearing nearby. There's a large fallen log beneath a shady tree. Harry collapses onto the grass, chattering away about his friends at daycare while I unbutton my top to feed Chloe.

She latches on to my nipple and sucks desperately. Her pink cheeks are tear-stained, but when she looks up at me, she smiles around my breast. "Love you, baby girl," I murmur as I push the strawberry blond curls away from her sweaty forehead.

Everything fades as I lean back against the tree trunk, my eyes closed. High above, birds call, and in the distance, I can hear the roar of water cascading under the bridge, punctuated by grunts as the guys move enormous slices of tree trunk to the side of the track.

The scent of pine takes me back to my childhood before Mom died. We'd go for picnics in the forest that bordered my father's estate and sit by the stream, me playing in the water while she read one of her books.

It's one of the few clear memories I have of my mother.

Most of my other memories of her have faded.

"Cin!" Harry's shout startles me out of my reverie. I open my eyes to find Cin standing over me, staring down with a can of soda in his hand.

"I thought you might want a drink," he says, but he's not looking at my face. Instead, his eyes stay glued to my breasts. Chloe has drifted off to sleep, her slackened rosebud mouth leaving my nipple exposed. Our eyes meet before he turns back to my son. "Madden says there's a cookie left, Harry. Off you go!" Harry runs off toward where the guys are working.

Fuck. I'm mortified. Flashing people happens sometimes when I feed Chloe, but knowing Cin has seen my horrible swollen, milky boob makes me feel sick. The poor guy must be traumatized. He probably bangs gorgeous women on the regular, women who have perky tits and perfect, gym-honed bodies.

Toned is the last thing I am. I was in decent shape before I had kids, but I've gained a few pounds since then, and now my tummy jiggles when I run and my ass is bigger than Kim Kardashian's. Cellulite is my new best friend. Stella tells me men don't care, but I've seen how Enzo looks at me when I get dressed. With disgust, mostly.

"Sorry," I mutter, fixing my clothing so he doesn't have to look at my tits.

"Sorry? What for?" He crouches in front of me, looking confused.

"For flashing you. I'm sure you don't want to look at my..." I gesture down dismissively, feeling gross as shit. Chloe dribbled milk when she fell asleep and there's a hideous stain on my shirt. I must smell of sour milk and sweat. Hardly a seductive combination.

"Oh trust me," he grins. "I'm very much enjoying looking at your gorgeous tits." Then he leans down and whispers in my ear. "Is it wrong to be jealous of a baby who gets to suckle from you?"

When he stands, the erection he sports is obvious. His grin widens when he sees me staring at the massive bulge in his shorts. "That's how much I hate looking at your tits," he says, adjusting himself before sauntering away.

My core cramps with lust and all I can think about is his mouth on my tits.