Chapter Three

CHAPTER THREE

Val

I 'm thankful for the days that have turned longer, even if it means they're hot and steamy. Not being able to drive wasn't an issue when I lived with my family, there was always someone to take me places. I try not to focus on the fact that they were another gender, and they were allowed to get a license because they had a penis between their legs. Brothers and cousins younger than me, my father, my grandfather, and uncles. They held it over my head and used it to control me.

All of that is the reason I'm thankful for longer days. They allow me to walk to the grocery store after work, and I don't have to hurry back before dark. We closed Get Baked an hour ago; I came upstairs, took a shower, changed my clothes, and now I'm checking to make sure I have everything I need. Sunglasses, my cell phone, my earbuds so that I can listen to a podcast while walking there and back, my list, the envelope with my grocery budget in it, and a fold-able cart I'll use to transport everything once I'm done. Putting my hair in a ponytail, I slip my feet into shoes, grab my stuff, and head out from my second-floor apartment.

It may not be much to anyone else, but this life I have? To me it's freedom.

I'm deeply into one of my favorite female music stars telling me about how if your significant other wanted to be there, they would , when a honk causes me to turn my head to the side. It's Vaughn, in his big truck, waving at me. I quickly turn my podcast down, and tilt my head at him, giving him my full attention. "Where ya headed?"

"To the grocery store." I point at my cart. "I have a few things I need to get."

He nods. "That's where I'm headed too. Would you like a ride?"

Remembering that this man isn't offering something because he respects something in return is hard. I go back and forth on whether I want to accept the kindness he's offering, or if I want to be independent like I have been since I moved into my small apartment. Listing the pros and cons in my mind, I'm just not sure what the right answer is, and I guess I take too long.

"You don't have to if you don't want to, Val. This is completely your decision. I understand if you don't feel comfortable."

His concern tightens both my throat and my chest. Out of everyone I've met since I came to live over Get Baked, Vaughn is the one who's equally the most closed off, and the one who doesn't pressure me into making decisions when I'm struggling. Because of this, I nod decisively. "No, I'll go with you. Thank you for the offer."

He puts the flashers on, and hops out, walking over to my side. "Let me put this in the back for you." It's the little cart I take with me, the one that ensures I can get the groceries home without asking for help. Letting go of it is both symbolic and necessary.

"Thank you." I say again as he lifts it over the edge of the bed of the truck, and secures it.

"No problem. It's fuckin' hot, and if we're both headed in the same direction, there's no reason we can't ride together. Besides, I kinda hate grocery shopping on my own." He gives me a tilted smile.

I love it. "I like it. For a lot of years it was a source of anxiety, but now it's become a comfort."

His dark eyes squint, as if he can't see clearly. "You're gonna have to explain that one to me. I'm not sure I understand."

I step up onto the running board, having a seat against the warm leather, while he shuts the passenger side door. Waiting for him to jog around the side, I think about how much I want to tell him. I also think about how hard it'll be for him to understand the life I came from. No one I've ever tried to explain it to has understood. It's to the point where I don't try anymore, but now that I've separated from my family, there are a lot of others who don't understand it at all. I've wanted to explain it, but I don't know how. "I don't even know where to begin." My voice cracks and I shrug to hold the emotions in.

"Why don't you start with why you came to Broken Falls? The rumor is you're on the run?" He grins, his eyes glowing. He's teasing, and I'm thankful that I can recognize that.

"Does on the run mean I've committed a crime?" I'm truthfully asking, because I don't know.

He looks over, eyebrows furrowed together. "Yeah. Do you really not know that?"

I shake my head, looking out the window. "There are a lot of secular things I'm unaware of."

His thumbs drum a beat on the steering wheel. "Can I ask you a question, Val?"

"You just did." It's easier for me to deflect. That makes him laugh.

"Look at you, you've got jokes. Truthfully, why are you here in Broken Falls?"

I glance over at him. We're at a stoplight, so he's looking at me. Really looking, as if he's trying to crack the code to a locked box. "I don't know if I'm ready to tell that story yet." Admitting that is hard. I'm not sure I'll ever be ready, and I'm worried that the people I think of as friends will get sick of waiting. "It's hard." I swallow roughly. "I didn't come from a situation that I think any of you believe I did."

He reaches over slowly, barely allowing our hands to touch. "Well, when you're ready, I'm here."

"Thank you. I know that some things I say and do are weird, but it's what I'm used to." I lick my lips, turning my hand over. He surprises me by closing his fingers around mine so that we're holding hands. I've never done this before.

Vaughn seems to realize that something is different. "Is this okay?"

The gruff man I'm used to talking to and seeing is asking me if holding my hand is alright? "Yeah." My voice is impossibly soft. I wonder if he can hear what I've said, but he turns back toward traffic and eases onto the gas.

My head is spinning. I've never touched a man like this before, and although it's just our palms and fingers, there's a pinch between my legs. I've felt it before, but never as acutely as I do right now. My breasts are achy and tender, nipples tight. I wish I had more experience with this, if this is normal to feel. Letting a shaky breath out, I close my eyes and center my wayward emotions, a trick I've been using since I was a kid.

I don't realize we've parked until he shuts the truck off. "Ready to go in?"

Opening my eyes, I glance around and nod. "Sure am."

"Don't touch that door. I'll come around to you." He gets out and jogs around the front of the truck.

While I wait for him to reach my door, I allow myself to look at him without shame. I admire the muscular arms; the ink covering his body, including his neck, the way the worn jeans hang slightly off his waist, to the dirty boots. I've never seen him wear anything other than those jeans or boots. It's an intimacy I'd love to be privy to, but one I haven't been able to enjoy yet. Swallowing roughly when he opens the door, I paste a smile on my face. "Thank you."

"No problem. You ready?" He grabs my hand, helping me down.

"To go grocery shopping? Always."

He chuckles, and as we walk toward the entrance, he slings his arm across my shoulders and tucks me in against his side. My heart pounds, my stomach churns, and my body is awakened. This is the closest I've ever been to a man who isn't family, and because of this man, I'm hooked.