33. Jordan

33

JORDAN

Being with Hartley and Vail had me softening more and more. Not with everything. I killed a man this morning after torturing him. The men I loved didn’t need to know that though. When I was with them, I couldn’t stop the vulnerability or the way I did whatever they wanted because they asked me sweetly.

Take the room I was currently standing in. It was one of the meeting rooms I had in my building. In front of me was a therapist I had just hired. Arden was in his late thirties. Being single with no attachments made the decision to choose him easier. If he was hurt or killed, I didn’t want his family’s loss of a father or partner on my conscience. It also helped that he was a member of Dexen’s club. Already vetted went a long way. Although, I dug even deeper. I couldn’t be too careful. Plus, he was willing to work for me, which not many were. The smart ones did. The others were afraid. That was within their right. They lost out on a lot of money though.

“Sign these,” Lana said, sliding the paperwork toward Arden. She was here to make sure he didn’t open his mouth and reveal what was said to him when my men met with him.

“I assured Mr. Altair I would never speak about what was told to me in confidentiality.”

“Great. Sign here.” She pointed to the page where there was also a little red flag directing him where to sign.

Arden sighed but did as she asked. If he thought she was tough, he was in for a rude awakening working for me.

Once the paperwork was done, I asked, “We’re agreed on the hours, correct?”

“Yes, every Saturday, I’ll be here for the full day. If more time is needed, I’ll be able to work that into my schedule in the future. For now, I’m booked during the week.”

I nodded. It was the best I could hope for hiring him when he had his own practice to take care of. “And you understand the nature of what my employees will speak to you about?” In the beginning, no one would talk with him about what they did when they worked for me. This was purely to get them comfortable with Arden, so they could work through their personal demons.

Vail was adamant on having someone my employees could speak with. He didn’t divulge what he’d learned about them, but he didn’t have to. I was already aware of Oleander’s past and how he lost a child. I knew about Sheldon’s as well and his father sitting in prison. They were just the tip of the issues. When I looked at the people I trusted with my life and the lives of those I loved, the guards surrounding us had to be at the top of their game. They had to be on in case a bullet flew, or a crazed ex got too close. At least Gil was fucking dead.

A growl worked up my throat. I hadn’t realized how loud it was until Arden took a measurable step back.

Lana cocked an eyebrow at me. “Did I miss something?”

I waved her off. “Nothing I hadn’t already taken care of.”

“Are you referring to a memory?” Arden asked, curiosity obvious in his tone.

“Don’t,” I bit out. “My employees will speak to you about their lives if they feel comfortable. I’m off-limits. If I need someone to pour my soul out to, I have two men who fill my bed every night.”

“Therapy isn’t for everyone.”

“I didn’t say I’m against it,” I growled. “My point is I’m not going to tell you my sins. You’re not a reverend and I’m not religious. I’ll carry them around until I see fit to let them go. They’re my weight to bear.”

He nodded and parted his lips like he had more to say. One raised eyebrow from me had him pressing his mouth closed. Lana learned that from me. A perfectly timed eyebrow raise could shut people up. Her eyebrow didn’t work on me though.

“Send me a list of what you’ll need to have a comfortable workspace,” I told him. “Don’t worry about the cost. I’ll take care of it.”

“That’s very nice of you. I don’t need much.”

“I want my people comfortable. Not sitting on a stool while they talk to you.”

“Okay, I’ll email you tonight.”

“Thank you. I’ll make sure it’s here by the time you start on the twenty-fourth.”

“Thank you for giving me the opportunity to help your employees. A healthy mind goes a long way.”

“A twisted mind leads to the best kind of madness,” I replied.

He blinked at me. I’d ask if he knew what I did, but he’d said he was aware of who I was at the start of the interview. Shit, was my softening reaching others? Did people think I was losing my grip? I needed to draw blood again.

“Jordan,” Lana said, breaking through my thoughts. She glanced to my hand where I held a snapped pencil. I hadn’t realized I picked one up. At least it wasn’t a knife.

Instead of addressing my anger with the man in front of me, who no doubt wanted to analyze every part of my brain, I opened the door. “Reghan will see you out.”

“If you’ll follow me,” Reghan said.

Arden spared me a quick glance and a quiet, “Thank you,” as he walked past.

When he was in the elevator, Lana asked, “Thinking about Gil again?”

“I was, but then I worried I was softening more. I love my men, but what the fuck? I can’t let it get out that I’m not the tough as hell man I portray myself to be. Can you imagine the people who will be here trying to take me out? Then what happens with Vail and Hartley?” I was spiraling. It wasn’t normal, yet here I was. Maybe I should call Arden back and have him put me on a couch to make me talk. Did they still do that? Fuck if I knew. The last time I saw a therapist was when I was a child and my parents decided I wasn’t getting along with my brother like I should. My brother was always trying to be in my business. Of course we didn’t get along.

“It’s not a bad thing,” Lana said, collecting the signed documents. She’d put them in her system and email copies to me and Arden.

“Not for you.”

“You’re right.” She put the papers in her bag and slung the leather strap over her shoulder. “When you behave, I get other work done. There aren’t calls for me to get you out of prison.”

“If you’re bored, I can certainly stir shit up.”

“I’m good. I’ll send you a copy later.”

“Thank you, Lana.”

“You’re welcome.” She breezed out of the room.

Without knowing what the fuck else to do with myself so I didn’t continue down this spiral, I took the elevator up to the home I shared with Vail and Hartley. They were sitting on the couch, watching the new TV I installed for them. While we had one in our bedroom, it was never watched since they came into my life. Why would I want to watch TV when I had them in my bed?

I dismissed Oleander downstairs. He didn’t usually stay up here but having Reghan with me before, I didn’t want my home unprotected. It didn’t matter that Gil was dead. I still needed to have my men safe.

“Hey,” Vail said with a smile over his shoulder. “How’d it go?”

“Good. I hired him. He’ll start the Saturday after we return from our trip.”

“I still can’t believe you have a plane,” Hartley muttered.

I moved around the couch to stand in front of them and loosened my tie to pull it off. I rid myself of my jacket next. My fingers started working the buttons of my shirt open. Hartley and Vail’s eyes were no longer on the TV. They were solely on me.

“I have a mouth too,” I told Hartley. “If you take off your clothes, I’ll show you how I can use it to make you scream my name.”

He stood so fast; he would have fallen forward had I not caught his arm.

Using my foot, I pushed the coffee table out of the way, silently thanking Irene who had the foresight to put felt feet on it for easy moving. She did it so she could clean under it. Either way, I was glad.

“Not participating?” I asked Vail.

“I think I’ll watch this time. Maybe get myself off while you swallow Hart.”

“Whatever you’d like.” Leaning forward, I brushed my lips over his.

Most times when we were together, all three of us participated. Occasionally, one of us wanted to watch. There was something so damn sexy about it. Knowing the men in front of me were mine and no one else would see them like I did. How their words and moans were for me to drink in and fuel my desire. I’d try to draw it out and not touch myself until they were close, but I ended up so turned on I came right after them, unable to help it given the scene in front of me.

Hartley sat naked on the couch and spread his legs, making room for me while I rid myself of the remainder of my clothes. Before my knees hit the unyielding floor, Vail dropped a pillow down so I could kneel on it. I liked to think I was still as strong as ever, but there were times when my body reminded me of my age. My knees would have protested being on the bare marble, but I would have done it. Nothing would have stopped me. Later, I would have paid with pain for what I was about to enjoy.

Placing my hands on the insides of Hartley’s thighs, I spread him wider then leaned forward to swipe my tongue over his cock. When I reached the tip, I swirled my tongue, tasting him, before sucking him into my mouth. Hartley didn’t have to do anything but feel what I was doing to him.

I gave my men my mouth anytime they wanted to use it. And they did the same for me. There was no power struggle, no question of who was in charge. It was me. No matter if I was on my knees, my back, or above them. If they wanted to take over, I didn’t fight them. Whatever they wanted, I’d give them. But I relished being the one to give them pleasure. To make them whimper and moan. To call out my name when they came.

Hartley tried thrusting into my mouth. I gripped his hips and held him down so I could do the work. His body trembled beneath my palms.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Vail with his leg propped up on the couch, his lounge pants down enough so his cock was out, and his hand worked it like a man possessed. When my eyes met his, he was enraptured to the sight of me sucking Hartley. Even the bit of saliva that slipped from the corner of my lips had him drawn in.

I doubled my efforts on Hartley, my attention fully back on him. I cupped his balls, giving them a pull. It was seconds later when he shouted my name as cum shot into my mouth and down my throat. Trying to get it all was a fruitless task. The way my men shot, no matter if they’d just gotten off or not, they always filled my mouth.

In my effort to make Hartley come, I forgot to take care of myself. As he relaxed into the couch, I popped off him and stood, my cock heavy and leaking in my hand.

Vail sank lower on the couch, inviting me close. “Get on me, Jordan.”

Hartley stood as I climbed on top of Vail.

“No hands,” Vail whispered.

Lining my cock up next to his, I lowered myself and started thrusting, rutting against him. Vail’s blunt nails dug into my ass as he held on, pulling me closer, gasping with pleasure.

He came first on a breathy moan, his cum coating us both. It added the slickness I needed to glide better, to move smoother. Hartley pressed the tip of a slick finger into my ass. I came hard, my teeth digging into the muscle on Vail’s shoulder.

Air sawed in and out of my lungs as my heart beat rapidly in my chest. Hartley slowly withdrew then traced a finger over my calf, his loving touch bringing me back to earth.

These men, fuck, I loved them. I would die for them. And I would do absolutely anything for them.