7

I’d rather burn in a fiery blaze than extinguish without a trace.

Days passed on the sweltering surface. The landscape had long since become a monotonous expanse of barren rocky hills, stretching endlessly along the backdrop of an ancient highway.

Pain was her constant companion.

Blisters scabbed over blisters, and her ribs kept cramping.

Khalani forgot what it was like to not hurt.

Their pace had drastically slowed, much to Brock’s frustration.

Winnie’s shoulder was still wounded from the stray gunshot during their daring escape from prison, and her injured ankle barely supported her weight.

Khalani uncomfortably picked at her nails as she watched every wince and sign of distress mar Winnie’s face, even with Takeshi and Derek’s help.

She kept moving forward, reminding herself that Winnie was tenacious. Resilient. One of the strongest people she knew.

But the treacherous road to Hermes was challenging, even for the fittest Death-Zoners, and Winnie’s age worked against her.

“Here, Winnie.” Khalani held a canteen to Winnie’s lips when they stopped at another well. But the water dribbled down Winnie’s chin, her eyes glassy, as though a ghost had taken over.

“Winnie?” She gently touched her shoulder.

Without warning, Winnie collapsed to the sand.

“Winnie!” Khalani crashed to her knees beside her.

Panic erupted as the others quickly rushed over. “What happened?”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“I don’t know!” she yelled.

“Get her on her back,” Derek ordered.

Winnie’s eyes were shut, her skin so pale it looked blue. Only one other time had Khalani seen someone that color.

The image of her dead parents lying on a metal table surged in her mind, and she grasped both sides of her head, wanting to rip the memory out.

Takeshi brandished a knife, and Khalani nearly screamed, but he only cut the hem of Winnie’s white shirt from neck to shoulder. When he lifted the bloody bandage, they all sucked in a collective breath.

Yellowish-green pus leaked from the crusted wound, and the inflamed skin was streaked with red.

“The wound’s infected.” Dread perforated Brock’s voice.

Derek pressed his ear to Winnie’s chest and his palm to her forehead. “She’s breathing, but she’s burning up. The infection could be spreading through her bloodstream. She might go into septic shock.”

Septic shock. Khalani didn’t fully understand the term, but the palpable terror in Derek’s face spoke volumes.

“What do we do?” she rasped, her shoulders hunched over.

“She needs antibiotics,” Derek answered, his voice grim.

“Where can we get some?” Serene stepped forward.

“Hermes,” Brock growled.

“How far are we?”

“Three days out.”

The blood leeched out of Derek’s face. “Winnie needs them sooner, or she won’t make it.”

Brock muttered a curse and stood. “We can’t do anything about that now.”

If Brock had punched her stomach, it would’ve been less painful.

Khalani frantically shook her head. “There has to be another way. Do you know any buildings close by that might have medicine?”

“Look around!” Brock held out his hands. “There’s nothing else we can do for her.”

“Like hell there isn’t.” Khalani seethed.

Determined, she gripped Winnie’s shoulders and tried to lift her. Winnie’s unconscious head lolled, and Khalani gritted her teeth as she pulled her waist up, straining against her dead weight.

Exhaustion enveloped her like a suffocating blanket, but she didn’t care.

She’d search every mountain, crevice, and endure a million lifetimes of pain to keep Winnie safe.

Even if she had to crawl to Hermes with Winnie on her back.

Suddenly, the weight was lifted.

Khalani opened her mouth to yell but froze when she saw Takeshi standing over her. His large body blocked the sun, and rays of light streamed around him as he gently gathered Winnie into his arms.

“Are you crazy?” Brock yelled, moving to block Takeshi’s path. “You can’t carry her for three days straight in the Death-Zone. I don’t want the old woman to die either, but we have no choice.”

“Get the fuck out of my way,” Takeshi commanded, his voice deeper than the Earth.

He didn’t wait for permission and shoved past Brock. Throwing a menacing glare over his shoulder, he locked eyes with Khalani and saw the tears streaking down her face.

His brows lowered and his forearms seemed to tighten around Winnie at the sight.

“Get moving. We leave now.”

***

They moved at an incredibly brisk pace, practically running across the cracked concrete.

No one smiled.

No words were exchanged.

The only sound cutting through the stifling air was their labored breathing.

Their heavy backpacks pounded rhythmically against their backs as they trudged forward, while Winnie mumbled incoherently in Takeshi’s arms.

Another fiery cramp shot up Khalani’s ribs, but she gritted her teeth and kept running.

When the sun dipped below the horizon and darkness blanketed the sky, she could barely feel her body anymore.

Time lost all meaning as they sprinted through the deepening shadows.

When they finally reached the underpass of a bridge, they came to a sputtering halt, each of them gasping and heaving desperately for air.

Adan lurched over and vomited. Serene rushed to his side, supporting him, while he emptied his stomach.

“We rest here for a few hours,” Brock declared, wiping sweat from his forehead.

“We can’t,” Khalani protested. “Winnie doesn’t have that long.”

“And we’ll all be dead too if we don’t take a break.”

She opened her mouth to argue.

“He’s right, Kanes,” Takeshi interrupted, carefully laying Winnie down with her back resting against a car tire. “We’ll do more harm than good if we keep up this pace without stopping.”

Khalani wanted to scream her frustrations into the night sky. But she looked around at the others’ pale faces, heard their ragged breathing, and knew Takeshi was right.

Derek propped Winnie’s head on an empty backpack, and Takeshi pulled a long-sleeve black shirt from his bag, draping it over her for warmth.

“I’ll take watch,” Takeshi said firmly.

No one argued, and they set up camp under the bridge, forming a protective circle around Winnie. Before long, everyone drifted to sleep.

But Khalani couldn’t shut her eyes.

She pulled her knees to her chest, and her fingers anxiously tapped the top of her handgun. The disquiet was like a jagged knife slowly sawing through her throat.

She obsessively watched Winnie’s shallow breaths, fixating on the slow rise and fall of her chest.

She timed them—long and slightly rattled, unable to fully inhale.

Khalani’s head thudded back against the metal car. The dark parts of her wanted to bang her head harder. To lose herself in the dark corners of her twisted mind.

Winnie was the only mother she had left. And all Khalani could do was lay there and slowly watch her fade away, like everyone else who used to love her.

A lone tear slid down her face, and she furiously wiped it away.

Unable to endure the bitter silence any longer, Khalani stood and walked over the sleeping bodies, heading toward the edge of the underpass. Her eyes scanned the cars, unconsciously searching for him, drawn like an invisible magnet.

Under the moonlight, she spotted him.

Takeshi sat with one leg stretched out and the other knee pulled up, a sharp blade resting in his palm. He leaned his back against the front bumper of a large, rusted black vehicle a few feet outside the cover of the bridge.

“Mind if I join you?”

He glanced up, his deep eyes holding a quiet strength that grounded her.

“Have a seat.”

She sat a foot away from him, leaning her shoulders against the rusted car, wrapping her arms around her legs. Her skin felt taut, like a rubber band stretched to the breaking point.

“You okay?” Takeshi asked.

Khalani opened her mouth to say yes—an automatic response—but then she realized there was no point in lying. She pursed her lips, chin trembling as she quietly shook her head.

Takeshi’s jaw tightened as he studied her face. Any moment, she expected him to tell her to quit being weak. To accept the consequences of convincing Winnie to join their perilous quest.

Khalani continued to lose herself in her torturous thoughts when she heard a rustle.

“Get up.”

Her brows furrowed as Takeshi loomed over her, his expression deadly serious and his tall form almost glowing in the moonlight.

“Why?”

“Do you trust me?”

“No,” she responded instinctively.

“Good.” He nodded. “Thought I lost for you for a second. Get up, Kanes.”

“What are you—”

Takeshi turned without another word and walked away from the bridge.

The quiet space seemed to close in around her with his absence.

She used to find peace in the darkness but something in the night made her eyes dart around. The silence grew louder, prickling her skin.

The shadows seemed to stare at Khalani. She could hear their demented whispers, and her shoulders tensed, sensing invisible hands reaching out to grab her.

Khalani quickly stood, searching for Takeshi in the dark. She frantically maneuvered around the vehicles but heaved a deep sigh when she found him a few car lengths away. He glanced back at her, silently waiting.

The logical part of her brain smacked her upside the face, urging her to return to the others, where it was safer.

But she followed him, knowing that on the surface of the violent earth, nowhere was truly safe.

Takeshi stopped next to a battered black vehicle that was larger than the others. Winnie had referred to a similar one as a “truck.”

Its entire backside was open, and she wondered if it’d once been used for transporting goods.

She jolted as Takeshi’s hand gripped the truck’s side, effortlessly hoisting himself into the back. He straightened to his full height, standing several feet above the surroundings, like a conqueror in a strange new world.

His soft black hair had fallen over his forehead, and his eyes gleamed with a dark, mischievous emotion she refused to name.

“What are you doing?” she frantically whispered, her eyes darting around. “Get down!”

“Don’t you want to see the view?”

“I can see everything just fine from here.”

He tilted his head. “Nervous, Kanes?”

“I’m not nervous,” she hissed, fisting her hands. “We should get ba—”

Takeshi leaned down and gripped her arm, hoisting her into the back of the truck.

Khalani gasped, holding her hands out to steady herself, and he released her immediately.

She spun toward him, struggling to maintain her balance. He reached out a hand, but she slapped him away.

“Have you lost your mind?” she sputtered.

“You’re just as fucked in the head as I am, Kanes.”

“God, I hope not.”

He rolled his eyes, and her breath hitched when he sat down.

Raising a brow in mock challenge, he stretched onto his back, the truck’s rear barely fitting his length.

She stood over him, hands on her hips and a deep scowl etched on her face. “Just what do you think you’re doing?”

“What does it look like?” he asked calmly.

“I don’t know! Like you want to sleep in this…thing.” She flicked her hands toward the truck, her lips twisting.

“The last thing I want to do is sleep,” he replied, crossing his arms behind his head.

Her eyes were drawn to the defined muscles in his forearms, and she barely restrained herself from bashing her head into the rear window to rid herself of those thoughts.

“This is ridiculous.” Khalani brushed a hand through her unruly hair. “I don’t even know why I’m here,” she grumbled to herself, but Takeshi heard her.

“You’re here because you need a distraction. And I don’t like seeing you sad,” Takeshi muttered, his voice deepening.

She blinked rapidly at his unexpectedly kind words.

“That doesn’t sound like you. You love making me cry.”

“Let me rephrase. I want to make you cry in other ways, but never from being sad.”

Khalani frowned. “Do I even want to question what ‘other ways’ you mean?”

“You definitely don’t.”

She swallowed, the brisk air thickening.

Takeshi stared at her with an unreadable expression, unmoving, waiting for her decision.

Khalani knew for certain that Takeshi wouldn’t hold her there against her will.

He’d simply let her walk away.

And they’d return to glaring at each other on the long, barren road.

For some reason, the thought didn’t bring her joy. It lingered inside of her like a necrotic wound.

Maybe it was the pure exhaustion or the wind picking up around her, but without another word, Khalani laid down next to him in the back of the ancient vehicle.

The tiny space around them was enclosed, and she tried to push her body against the metal, but Takeshi’s large physique left little space between them.

“Now what?” She glanced at him.

“Look up.”

Khalani sighed, letting her head rest against the metal of the truck as she finally turned to face the night sky.

For most of their journey, clouds hovered above their heads like a protective veil. But in the next moment, the full moon peeked through.

Khalani gasped.

She’d only ever seen the moon through virtual windows in Apollo, but now she understood that they were little more than pale imitations.

Nothing had ever truly encapsulated the magnificence that now floated above her.

The sun had always been the focus of her dreams, but the moon was entirely different. Entirely her.

Slightly cold. Emerging only in the dark. Often overlooked. It appeared small but held a might that rivaled the world.

She gazed at the celestial being with wide eyes. What further bewildered her were the white dots sparkling in the night sky. She had no idea what they were. If Winnie wasn’t fighting for her life, she’d ask her.

Khalani squeezed her eyes shut, her lips quivering.

“Stop thinking, Kanes.” Takeshi’s voice cut through her fractured thoughts, knowing exactly where her mind had wandered. “Stop feeding your pain. Just lie here and breathe with me.”

Her brows furrowed, and she tilted her head.

“Why are you being nice all of a sudden?”

“Figured I would try it out for the night. See what all the fuss is about.”

“And?”

“Overrated.”

Khalani wasn’t able to contain the laugh that burst out of her. Takeshi’s lips twitched, fighting a smile.

Despite the overwhelming pain, she was grateful for the moment.

Takeshi was one of the few people who kept her feet to the ground. Who reminded her to simply be present.

He didn’t panic under pressure. He moved with the chaos as effortlessly as water. Where others faltered, he flowed, commanding the turmoil around him.

“Aren’t you worried my misery will rub off on you?” She glanced back up at the sky, a strange pressure hovering over her chest.

Takeshi was utterly still beside her. At first, he didn’t respond, and she was certain he’d stand up and walk away. But then, he spoke.

“What if I’d rather share your pain than have you bear it alone?”

The night sky swallowed her heavy breaths.

She didn’t know how to respond.

Didn’t know how to deal with the gentle parts of him.

There were moments when Takeshi gazed out at the horizon, his hair billowing in the wind, that fiery determination in his eyes, and it ignited something deep within her. A warmth that made her want to shove him against the ruined vehicles and smash her lips against his, if only to purge her longing once and for all.

The deafening silence stretched on, and her gaze wandered back to the sky. She couldn’t bring herself to directly respond, fearing that any attempt to voice her feelings would strip her completely bare.

“Winnie told me humans landed on the moon hundreds of years ago. Do you think that’s true?” she asked, desperately grasping for a new topic.

“Not sure how they would’ve jumped that high,” he responded, swallowing, as if he were grateful for the change, too.

She chuckled. “No, she said they built ships that could fly all the way up there.”

“Probably why they all died.”

“You wouldn’t do it?”

His gaze grew distant. “Some things are meant to only be looked at from afar.”

“Or maybe you’re just afraid of heights,” she teased.

“And if I were?” He tilted his head.

“I’d find the nearest cliff and dump you off it the next time you pissed me off.”

A deep chuckle escaped him, and she nearly sighed at the rare sound as he looked back up at the moon, his obsidian eyes swimming in its reflection.

“What are you afraid of, Kanes?”

“Me?”

He nodded, the moonlight highlighting his strong jawline and high cheekbones.

It was too easy to get lost in his deadly beauty.

She pulled her attention back to the sky, but it did nothing to quell the shivers racing up her neck.

“I used to believe I was afraid of physical pain. But then I felt so much of it that I became desensitized…” She paused. “Now, I think my biggest fear is the one thing I used to crave the most.”

His entire body tensed. “And what’s that?”

“Being alone.”

Saying the words out loud, exposing that raw truth, was like having a hole punched through her chest.

That’s why you should be careful about who you love.

Love wasn’t just an emotion in your heart. Love was an offering of yourself.

When you loved someone, you gifted them a part of you.

And if they left, you could never get those pieces back.

But Winnie, Serene, Derek, Adan…even parts of Takeshi, had wiggled their way into her heart. By the time she realized what was happening, it was already too late.

If she were left alone now…there would be no pieces of her left.

“But we don’t have to talk about that,” she quickly said, rubbing her chest as if it could disperse the ache. “I’m quite content to just lay here and forget my fear of abandonment issues.”

“No one is abandoning you.” Takeshi’s voice was bone-chillingly deep.

“I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“Kanes.” She felt the weight of his sharp gaze.

“You’re not gonna drop this are you?” she sighed.

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because I see how your friends look at you. They care. They won’t betray you. If I had the slightest inkling otherwise, I would’ve slaughtered them on the road and made it look like an accident,” Takeshi said evenly.

His tone held a brutal certainty that would’ve made a sane person terrified, but instead, her insides warmed and her stomach clenched.

Takeshi’s lethalness should not be a turn-on.

That would be fucked up.

“Your mind’s racing again,” he noted.

Her mind was a dangerous battlefield that needed to be studied as an example of what not to do in those situations. Because the next words that came out of her mouth were, “Then help me not think at all.”

Takeshi went preternaturally still, as if any movement—any breath—might shatter the fragile moment.

She felt his gaze on her, scrutinizing, waiting for her to take the words back.

But only silence and beating hearts hung between them.

Part of her wasn’t sure she even wanted to take the words back.

Khalani half-expected Takeshi to scoff at her suggestion and leave her in the dark. But one moment she was lying next to him, and the next, Takeshi had her hips in his grasp, pulling her on top of him so she was straddling his waist. She gasped at the swift movement.

Takeshi narrowed his eyes in challenge, like his only goal was to intimidate her into retreating, fully expecting Khalani to end the charade and pull away.

But if he was waiting for her to be the rational one, they were screwed.

She was desperate to feel something other than pain, and Khalani didn’t care that it would inevitably return with a swift vengeance come morning.

The moon could tell the sun all about her bad decisions later.

She shifted against him and felt Takeshi harden beneath her, and like the rest of him, he wasn’t lacking in any area.

Emboldened, she moved forward another inch, causing a delicious wave of friction, and his fingers bit into her hips as he hissed. But instead of shoving her off, he pulled her closer, rubbing her core against him.

Warmth pooled low in her stomach and she felt her body respond as he got harder, somehow.

No inch separated them except for the clothes they still wore. She felt naked, exposed, and with the way Takeshi’s eyes roamed over her, she felt like the only woman left on the surface.

Her heart pounded against her chest and she was certain he could hear the palpitations.

He stared up at her like he was ready to slice her throat in one breath and bend her backward to feast like a man starved the next.

Khalani wasn’t a virgin.

The first man she’d been physically close with was a coworker at the Food Distribution Center of Apollo. He was handsome enough, flirting with her constantly. And she was miserable enough to settle for his intentions, hoping to experience something different for a change.

It hurt the first time. A lot. Nothing like she thought it’d be.

But then again, life wasn’t what she thought it’d be.

She returned to his bed a few more times, but each encounter left her decidedly colder afterward. He never ignited her body with fire. Never made her feel seen. Never made her feel like she’d unravel from the pure feral possession in his gaze.

Takeshi’s fingers slid from her hips up her stomach, undoing the buttons of her shirt as he went. He never once looked away from her face, cataloging every response. She licked her lips, and his eyes tracked the movement like a predator.

There was only one button left. Khalani closed her eyes, ready to expose herself. But his hands halted.

“Undo the last button,” he commanded.

She opened her eyes, her chest rising and falling rapidly. “Why did you stop?”

“Because I’ll take many things, Kanes, but never your choice. If you want to surrender to me for just this one night, then undo the last button. If not, you should stand and walk back to the others.”

He was going to be her undoing.

With his silky black locks falling over his face and his shadowy eyes glinting in the moonlight, he’d never looked more handsome or destructive.

Takeshi never hid his darkness. He embraced it.

To him, hell wasn’t a path to avoid but a space to conquer.

Takeshi waited patiently for her to make the next move, his hands clenched at his sides. He raised an eyebrow when she hesitated, as if he knew they wouldn’t continue.

Khalani chewed her bottom lip, and Takeshi’s luminous eyes flickered to her mouth. He held his breath, waiting for the inevitable.

But she wasn’t the same girl he met in prison.

Khalani was free to explore ruin in all its shapes and forms.

Takeshi may very well be her ending.

But she had this one night to dictate how she was destroyed.

Khalani swallowed deeply, and ever so slowly, undid the last button.

The fabric still covered her breasts, but the cool air ruffled her shirt, and her nipples perked.

Letting go felt like liberation. She paused, taking it all in, feeling powerful.

“You’re not done. Keep going,” he commanded, his voice sultry and deep, resonating with an almost primal intensity. Takeshi didn’t glance down her chest. His gaze remained locked on hers, which somehow was hotter.

Her stomach burned as she drew a deep breath, slowly pulling the fabric away on both sides, revealing her naked breasts.

Takeshi still didn’t shift his gaze away from her face, as if watching her cede control to him was the most invigorating act.

He barely touched her.

He didn’t need to.

He was everywhere. Beneath her skin. Sliding through her thoughts. In every breath she took.

“I used to believe the moon was the most beautiful thing on the surface,” he whispered, his gaze flickering back to her eyes.

Her heart soared past the white dots in the sky.

No one had ever looked at her like that. Like they wanted to brand her into memory.

She subtly shifted back, causing delicious friction between them. His eyes narrowed, and he suddenly flipped their bodies.

Takeshi rose above her, his broad chest centimeters from hers. His shadowy eyes swallowed hers and his breaths came slightly quicker.

Every movement, every shift of his body, she studied, just as he did with her.

He shackled both her wrists with one hand, placing them firmly over her head.

“That’s better,” he coaxed.

His gravelly voice sent warmth pooling to her core.

A defiant glimmer rose in his gaze, and she tried to escape his grip, but his hand tightened, not letting her go anywhere.

Like the break of day, he was inescapable.

“What shall I do with you now?” he mused.

“What do you want to do?”

Takeshi let out a dark chuckle. “There aren’t enough hours left in the night to show you.”

Oh…my…

His eyes smoldered, and it pained her how sinfully attractive he was. Her body felt like it was on the brink of exploding.

“I think…” she swallowed right before taking the plunge, “I think I want you to kiss me.”

Takeshi’s lips curled into a slow, seductive smile. He moved down her neck, pausing at her throat. “Here?”

“Lower.”

He trailed kisses down her collarbone. They weren’t sweet. He nipped at her. Burning her to shreds.

His nose skidded along her skin like he wanted to breathe every centimeter of her in. Takeshi occasionally stopped to suck and lick, as if to remind her who was truly in control.

“How ’bout here?”

“If you need a map, maybe I’ll go wake up Brock,” she challenged.

He stilled, his jaw ticking as he looked up at her. “Kanes, you’re begging to be tied up to the car naked at this point.” His eyes flared as if he enjoyed the thought. “And it won’t be fun for you.”

“All night?”

“Mhmm.”

Her breath hitched and her heart sputtered like an engine. “And tomorrow?”

“Don’t worry. We’ll go back to hating each other tomorrow. That’s what you wanted, right?”

“Um…” Her mind was a tangled mess. “Yes?”

“Good girl.” Takeshi didn’t bother saying anything else. He bent down and his mouth latched around her nipple.

His tongue swirled around the peak and her back arched, thrusting her chest further into him.

His right hand kept both her wrists caged above her head and his left hand slid up her outer leg, her hips, her waist—leaving each area he touched electrified—and cupped her other breast. He groaned, sucking her nipple harder, letting his teeth lightly bite down as his hand squeezed.

He pulled her closer, as if he couldn’t get enough.

It wasn’t a simple touch. It was ownership.

Her head fell back and her eyes found the moon and the dots in the sky, burning and flickering, laying witness to someone being ravaged. And wanting it with every square inch of their body.

If her soul could bleed, pieces of Takeshi would spill everywhere.

He didn’t just take up space in her mind, he occupied it entirely.

Khalani wanted to thread her fingers through his soft black hair, wanted to feel him everywhere, to memorize every portion of him before daylight washed away their dark deeds.

Goosebumps raced up her arms and neck as he switched to her other breast, making sure every inch of her felt his attention.

It was the most erotic thing she’d ever experienced, and her pants were still on.

“Takeshi…” she moaned. Everything felt good. Too good, like she’d fall apart at any moment.

“You want me to stop?” He lifted his head, his lips glistening and his expression conveying his desire to keep going.

Her breaths rasped, but she shook her head. “No. It’s just…a lot.”

“Not nearly enough.” She thought she heard him murmur.

Takeshi’s virulent gaze locked onto Khalani, and relief coursed through her at the sight of his wild restraint.

She wasn’t the only one on the brink of losing control. Takeshi just hid it better.

Khalani tried freeing her hands again, but his grip tightened.

“I don’t think so, Kanes. I’ve got you exactly where I want you.”

“Bastard,” she growled, arching her hips up, craving more. Wanting him everywhere.

Takeshi’s suddenly stiffened on top of her and his eyes darted around, scanning their dark surroundings.

“What is it?” she whispered, desperate for him to continue.

His muscles coiled with tension, and he lifted off her, crouching beside her. A handgun suddenly appeared in his right hand while he palmed a six-inch blade in the other.

“Takeshi, what’s wrong?” she asked, sitting up

“Stay here,” he commanded in a low, urgent tone. Without a sound, he leaped off the truck and disappeared into the shadows.

Blood drained from her face.

Khalani quickly buttoned her top, her heart pounding as she searched for Takeshi.

The silence of the night was like a vice around her throat.

A sudden grunt shattered the quiet.

She whipped her head in the direction of the sound, but Takeshi didn’t emerge from the darkness.

Something was terribly wrong.

Ignoring Takeshi’s command, she scrambled off the truck and moved toward the noise.

In the next moment, a rough hand covered her mouth, and a sharp knife pressed against her throat.