31

If I forget you, I forget the world.

If my heart could speak

The beats would lament and roar

I think it would terrorize my flesh

Refashion me from the inside out

Take all the power from me

And not let my doubts do the talking.

I thought time was on my side

That the end was some mystical line

One I would face when my knees grew weak

And you were as ancient as I

But time possesses no allies

Tomorrow comes, with or without you

Try to stop the pendulum from swinging

And you’ll miss the world passing you by

If my heart could speak

It would present its scars as a warning sign

To not let your words go unheard

To not rely on time to fix relationships

Because if my heart could have spoken

It would’ve said everything you meant to me

So I wouldn’t have to find closure apart from you.

Khalani let the felt-tipped pen slip from her fingers. Her journal fell next, hitting the hard ground as if it, too, could no longer endure the vocation of misery within its pages.

She stared blankly at the pristine white sheets neatly folded on the bed.

She used to enjoy sitting on the floor.

If Khalani concentrated hard enough, she could remember the soft glow in Douglas’s eyes when he first spotted her, a lonely figure eating scraps on the cobblestone streets of Apollo all those years ago.

He used to be the only person she could open up to without fear of judgment or misunderstanding.

Some people want friends for conversation.

Khalani wanted those who didn’t need to fill the silence.

But when Douglas died, he took a part of her with him.

And Takeshi…

A treacherous tear slipped from the corner of her eye.

All the losses she’d endured seemed to pale in comparison to the torment she felt now. Her skin prickled, stretched too tight, as if it might tear apart.

Khalani didn’t eat. Didn’t sleep.

She’d lost track of the days since their escape from the prison camp. The transport ride to Hermes had been hours of jarring bumps and suffocating quiet.

Brock kept glancing back at her. Khalani’s stare was vacant, her eyes bloodshot, her body swaying with the wind like an empty vessel ready to tip over.

A part of her wanted to fall over. To knock her head out and escape this hellish domain.

That had to be her life’s purpose.

To test just how much suffering the human body could endure.

Otherwise, it didn’t seem possible that the day after Takeshi and Khalani finally set aside their differences and admitted their feelings for each other…was the day they lost it all.

Bang!

She flinched, rubbing her weary eyes, rocking back and forth as the gunshot replayed relentlessly in her mind.

It couldn’t be true.

Takeshi can’t…be…

She slammed her head back against the hard wall.

Her body jolted, but she still didn’t feel anything. A twisted part of her craved the torture now.

Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to forget…

“Khalani.” Winnie knocked on the door. “Can Winnie come in?”

Khalani didn’t answer. Her gaze remained fixed on the white sheets.

What if she went back?

The idea coiled inside her like a flickering ember ever since their escape.

Takeshi couldn’t be dead.

He was too obstinate. Too stubborn. Too full of life.

He’d fought for her survival more times than she could count, and she was beginning to realize that single-minded dedication ran through her, too. She felt it coursing through her veins and in the very air she exhaled.

He saved her. It was her time for her to rescue him.

An indistinct murmuring sounded behind the door before the knob turned slowly. Winnie walked in, but Khalani continued staring straight ahead, running through any feasible plan in her head.

All she needed were weapons and a transport.

Khalani wasn’t exactly sure how to get back to the camp, but she’d find a way, even if it meant scouring through every underground tunnel.

She felt the weight of Winnie’s concerned gaze.

When they returned to the Black Heart, Spade had warned them to stay inside and keep a low profile because the Dealers were looking for the prisoners who’d escaped.

Brock quietly explained to the others what happened to Takeshi, while Winnie and Serene held her in her arms all night as she sobbed.

They never left her side.

In the morning, when she finally got up to use the bathroom, she found Adan sitting outside her door, as if he’d stayed there all night.

Brock was close by, deep lines creasing his forehead, days-old scruff shadowing his face.

Their eyes held an unwavering commitment.

A promise that they wouldn’t let Khalani lose herself. And if she did, she wouldn’t face it alone.

She cried harder when they hugged her, because she’d never felt luckier or more broken.

Khalani was reunited with her family, but it wasn’t complete.

Not even close.

From their downturned eyes and tight expressions, she wasn’t the only one mourning Takeshi.

He may have been brooding, cold, and made you want to sleep with one eye open, but he somehow fit into their dysfunctional group.

She noticed the way Takeshi’s lips quirked at Serene and Adan’s banter, the warmth in his eyes for Winnie, the way his muscles tensed when they were forced to leave Derek behind, and even the begrudging respect he held for Brock.

They were his family, too.

Her fists clenched, chin trembling. Winnie said nothing.

Instead, she sat beside her, resting her head on Khalani’s shoulder, and gently intertwined their fingers.

Together, they sat in silence.

Maybe it was only for a few seconds. It could’ve been hours before Khalani lifted her head.

“How long have I been down here, Winnie?” She cleared her throat, her voice raspy and hoarse.

“Three days. Winnie’s come to check on you every day. There’s so much she has to tell you, but she knows you’re in pain.”

Khalani’s lips quivered. “It hurts so much, Winnie.”

“She knows, sweet girl.” Winnie tightened her grip. “It’s okay to feel everything. Or nothing at all. Sometimes, emptiness takes up the most space.”

Her chest moved shallowly. Her emotions were in such a whirlwind, she didn’t know what to do with them. The anger, sadness, and determination were like waking beasts that clawed at her.

How can one body deal with such calamity?

“Winnie, when Sarah died, were you angry?” she asked, breaking the silence.

Sarah was Winnie’s only child who’d succumbed to the flu in Apollo because Winnie didn’t have enough money for proper medicine.

That story lingered within her, holding a lifespan of its own.

Winnie shifted. For a fleeting moment, Khalani worried she had overstepped, but Winnie interlocked their arms, holding her closer.

“Winnie was very angry. For the longest time, fury was all she had.”

“How did you overcome it? How do you see past it?”

“We don’t ever see past it,” Winnie stated. “Some scars aren’t meant to be covered up. Our imperfections and wounds are what make us beautiful, not this perfect fa?ade we try to show the world. We overcome obstacles by accepting the frailty of life and how precious it is. And for those we have lost, we carry on their memory and live the life they would’ve wanted for us.”

Khalani’s chin trembled and her tears rained down like a storm. “It’s not fair, Winnie. None of this should’ve happened. I don’t know w-what to do or h-how to handle it.”

“Look at me, sweet girl.” Winnie cupped her cheeks, her own eyes pooling with tears. “You once told Winnie that she was your favorite teacher, but the truth is, you’ve taught her more about strength and believing in herself than anyone in the world. That is why Winnie knows you’ll make it through this. You’re her greatest inspiration.”

Winnie tenderly wiped away Khalani’s tears with her thumbs and gazed deeply into her eyes. The infinite swell of love in those spheres was so vast, an entire universe couldn’t contain it.

“I missed you so much, Winnie.” Khalani sobbed. “Whenever I’m away from you, everything falls apart.”

“Winnie did too, child.” Winnie wrapped her in a warm hug. “Like a whale misses singing in the sea.”

“What’s a whale?” She sniffled.

“Just like Winnie. Big. Beautiful. And terrible at singing.”

Khalani’s lips pulled into a faint smile.

“Winnie misses Takeshi, too. He had such a big heart that very few understood. Winnie saw it, though.” Winnie’s voice lowered, her shoulders slumping.

Khalani breathed faster.

He did have a big heart. Does have a big heart.

The gnawing ache in her chest expanded, threatening to swallow her whole. And as more time passed, the worse it became.

She needed to go back.

Khalani sat up straighter, urgency coursing through her. “You said there was something else you needed to tell me, Winnie?”

“Winnie has been waiting for you to gather your strength before she told you the news.” She paused for dramatic effect, taking a deep breath. “Winnie found it!”

“Found what?” Khalani frowned.

“Prometheus!”

“What do you mean?”

“In the past couple of days, Winnie has been talking to that one girl who escaped with you. Sad but beautiful. A little cold too, but some warming up from Winnie was all it took to thaw her walls.”

“Are you talking about Elise?” Her eyes widened, forgetting that Elise made it back with the other survivors.

“That’s the one!” Winnie snapped her fingers. “Elise. A terrible thing that happened to her father. But after speaking with her the past couple days, she showed Winnie the heirloom her father left behind. His ring.”

“Prometheus Inc.,” Khalani whispered, another fragment of her memory resurfacing.

“Yes!” Winnie threw up her hands. “Winnie immediately knew this must be a clue leading us to Project Helix. While you were at the camp, Adan helped the Aces fix one of their old computers from the Great Collapse. In Hermes, they don’t keep all their knowledge locked away like Apollo did. But after some digging through their Collapse files, he discovered a clue about Prometheus.”

Khalani leaned in. “What did he find?”

“When the residents first settled here during the Great Collapse, they took a census and recorded each person’s former occupation. A few individuals had the words Prometheus Inc. listed.”

“They worked there?” That didn’t make much sense.

“Exactly!” Winnie exclaimed, her eyes glimmering with fierce determination. “Adan located their headquarters. It’s in the remnants of the old California state. After we get Derek back, that’s where we must go next.”

“California,” Khalani repeated. She’d learned about the old states in school but knew very little about that one.

“Yes.” Winnie grasped her hands. “You can’t give up now, Khalani. Takeshi wouldn’t ever let you give up. And the path to Project Helix starts at Prometheus, just like Timothy Talbot said! Once you finish resting up, we can gather supplies and go. We’re in this together, right?”

Khalani could barely breathe through the hole in her chest.

They weren’t all together. A crucial piece was missing, and that meant she couldn’t leave.

Not yet.

But if she revealed her plan to rescue Takeshi, Winnie would either talk her out of it or, worse, insist on accompanying her.

She refused to risk anyone else.

“Of course we’re in this together, Winnie. Maybe we should take a few days to regain our strength, and then we can plan the trip,” she offered.

It might take far longer than a few days to save Takeshi, but Khalani kept that part to herself.

“You’re right, dear.” Winnie nodded. “In fact, we should start gathering our strength now. Come upstairs and eat something. I’m sure everyone would love to see you.”

Khalani licked her chapped lips, only now noticing the severe dryness of her mouth and the painful ache in her stomach that grew more intense by the second.

But Khalani fiddled with the tips of her fingers, digging her nails into her skin.

She didn’t know how to go upstairs. How to hide her intentions. One look at her face, and they’d surely figure out her plans.

“You don’t have to speak with anyone you don’t want to,” Winnie insisted, squeezing her hand tighter. “Winnie and Serene will be right there with you.”

After a moment, Khalani took a deep breath nodding.

Winnie kept her arm linked with Khalani’s as they ascended the stairs and entered the Black Heart.

Keno nodded at them at the top, his expression more anxious and wary than she’d remembered.

As they entered the bar area, Serene rushed forward and wrapped Khalani in a tight embrace.

“Are you okay? I’ve been so worried! Look at your hair! It’s a mess! I’ll fix it. I’ll fix everything. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you. Even for him.” Tears shimmered in Serene’s eyes as she held Khalani tighter.

“It’s okay,” Khalani choked out, trying to hold onto her emotions with the little strength she had left.

She wanted to disappear downstairs, so the people she loved wouldn’t have to witness her falling apart.

It was far easier to crumble alone.

“It’s not okay,” Serene stated emphatically. “But we’ll make it better. I’m never letting you out of my sight again. Even when you need to…you know.”

Khalani forced a half-smile, yet another barrier added to her plan.

Adan pulled her in for a hug next. “You alright there, Khalani?”

“As good as I can be,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

Brock brought her a bowl of stew when Khalani sat down, and she raised a brow.

“I know food isn’t going to make up for it.” Brock sighed. “A million bowls might not even make up for what happened. I’m sorry for pulling you away, but you know that’s what he wanted me to do.”

Khalani found it tough to swallow, trying not to break in the crowded room of people staring at her.

“I’m not mad at you, Brock. You did what you had to do. Thank you for coming for us.” She meant the words.

He nodded, his gaze falling to the floor, but he sat close to Serene, who didn’t pull away from him like she used to.

Maybe they’d finally found some common ground while Khalani and Takeshi were away. The thought made her grip the spoon tighter as she forced the food into her mouth.

Everything reminded her of Takeshi. The chill in the air, the light in Winnie’s eyes, the warmth of her friends’ embraces.

She needed to escape tonight.

Khalani noticed Jack and Ryder nearby, speaking with Spade, whose lips pulled into a tight grimace.

Elise sat at a table by herself, playing with the ring on her finger as she stared at the stone floor, her back bent over as if a cinder block weighed down her shoulders.

But before Khalani could get up and speak with her, Spade prowled forward. The few Aces members left in the room glanced up as he spoke.

“We’ve received word that the Dealers are sending patrols through the streets. They’re trying to find out who broke into the camp. They know people escaped and are hiding in Hermes. We need to continue staying low for the next few days, maybe even weeks.”

“Do they know it was us?” one member asked, anxiety creeping into his voice.

“We don’t think so,” Spade replied, running a hand through his hair. “But we can’t be too sure. That’s why we need to be extra cautious. Some of our undercover members will continue to bring supplies here. Once things die down—”

The door to the Black Heart suddenly crashed open, and several Dealers stormed in, weapons drawn.

“Don’t move! We’re searching the place for terrorists.”

“On whose orders?” Spade challenged, stepping forward.

“I don’t need to answer that.” The officer shoved the gun barrel into Spade’s chest, forcing him to raise his hands slowly.

“Check them.”

One of the Dealers held a device to Spade’s head. It beeped and turned red.

Tension filled the room as everyone held their breath. The Dealer continued to scan the heads of various members, each time the device flashing red.

When he approached Jack, the device abruptly flashed green.

“Sir! This is one of the pris—”

His head was blown away in an instant as Ryder discreetly pulled out a gun and blew his brains across the door.

Pandemonium erupted.

Members of the Aces lunged at the Dealers, grappling with them as gunshots rang out. Shots fired toward the back of the room, and everyone ducked for cover.

“This way!” Brock shouted, shielding Serene as they all sprinted toward the side entrance. Gunfire echoed all around them, and Khalani’s heart raced as she pulled Winnie with her.

“Where do we go?” Serene yelled as they burst through the door and emerged onto a dark alley.

“I think we need to…” Brock turned and suddenly stopped. His eyes widened, face paling as if he’d just seen a ghost.

“What?” Khalani turned and her mouth fell open. Emerging from the shadows was a figure clad in black.

Her body trembled and she shook her head in disbelief, her mind playing tricks on her.

The figure stepped under a pulsing streetlamp, revealing his black hair, obsidian eyes, and icy expression.

It was Takeshi.

In the flesh.

Takeshi was alive.

She didn’t know how it was possible, but there he stood, impossibly real.

Khalani ran toward him without a second thought.

“Takeshi!’ she yelled, her heart leaping in her chest, feeling weightless, the boiling pressure inside of her unraveling.

“Takeshi!” Khalani cried again, leaping forward.

But he didn’t catch her.

One moment, she was soaring into his arms.

The next, she crashed to the ground, and Takeshi crouched above her, pressing a sharp knife to her throat, spilling blood.

“How do you know my name?” he growled, his eyes an unrecognizable, pitch-black void.

Khalani’s heart ceased beating, and before the end, they saw one another only as strangers.

The Adventure continues…