2

Try to fix everything and you’ll only end up breaking yourself.

“Hum…Humfrie…”

“Humphreys Peak,” Brock corrected, standing over the worn yellow sign off the side of the road. “I think it’s that thing over there.” He gestured toward the far-off horizon, where a towering mound stood proudly above the sandy rocks and rugged terrain.

“Why’s it so big?” Adan’s jaw hung open.

“That’s a…mountain. Yes, that’s exactly what the old scholars from the Great Collapse described,” Winnie said, her eyes widening. “She read about some on the surface that are double the size of this.”

The group mumbled incredulously. Khalani took a step closer, her heart racing at the sheer scale of the raised earth. If she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes, she wouldn’t have believed something so immense and awe-inspiring could exist on the surface.

“What’s that white stuff on top?” Serene asked, pointing to the peak.

“Beats me.”

“Oh, Winnie thinks she knows!” Winnie snapped her fingers. “She remembers reading about it in a book. Begins with an s…maybe?” Winnie massaged her temple, mumbling random words under her breath.

“Let’s keep going.” Brock rolled his eyes, marching ahead. Khalani took another swig of water from her canteen as they begrudgingly kept their steady pace.

Only tiny remnants of a once great civilization remained. Signs pointing to mysterious cities. Abandoned vehicles that they carefully maneuvered around. She breathed a sigh of relief when none of the cars appeared to house any corpses. The thought alone churned her stomach.

“How about we play a game to pass the time?” Serene suggested.

“No,” Brock grunted.

“Good thing I wasn’t talking to you.”

“Winnie loves games,” Winnie exclaimed, her smile rivaling the burning sun.

“Perfect!” Serene clapped her hands together. “We’re gonna play the color game.”

Derek coughed out a short laugh, but a single withering stare from Serene made him quickly clear his throat. “So, uh, how does the game work?”

“Simple.” She grinned. “I name the color of an object, and you guess what it is. Easy, right?”

“Sounds boring,” Adan interjected.

Serene kicked a small rock at him. “If it’s so boring, then you should solve it easily. The first color is yellow.”

“That car.” Adan pointed down the unending expanse of broken highway to a small, faded yellow car with all its doors ripped off.

“No.”

“Name something yellow? Derek’s teeth.”

“Thanks, asshole.”

“Nope.” Serene clasped her hands behind her back.

Adan groaned and gestured upward. “Has to be the sun then.”

“Maybe if you’re blind. The sun’s definitely orange,” Brock piped up from the front.

“I thought you didn’t want to play, remember?” Serene scowled at his back.

“If you’re gonna play a stupid game, at least do it well.” Brock flicked a speck of dust off his shoulder as if he weren’t traipsing through a hazardous wasteland.

“You’re such a di—”

“White,” Winnie interrupted. “The light coming from the sun is white. Not orange or yellow.”

“That doesn’t make any se—”

Bang.

Khalani’s head whipped up at the sound of a gunshot.

She scrambled for her bag where her gun was stowed. She glanced back, about to yell at the others to get down, but they kept marching forward as if they didn’t hear the boisterous clamor at all.

She froze, sweat trickling between her brows under the sweltering sun as she scanned the horizon for the source of the explosion.

“How can it be white? A ball of fire is not white,” Adan continued to argue.

A blurry figure appeared before her, wavering until it solidified. The image made Khalani’s heart pound like a gong.

It was the Governor, Alexander Huxley, staring directly at her. His flawless face and golden hair were unmistakable.

Her chest rose and fell rapidly, and she stopped moving, her feet rooted to the shimmering sand. The voices of the others faded to a low, monotonous hum.

The Governor’s lips curled into an ominous smile, and she recoiled at the crimson blood dripping between his teeth.

“Kanes.”

A hole appeared in the Governor’s chest, right where she’d shot him, expanding and bubbling over with blood. Alexander Huxley peered down, staring directly at her, licking the red stains leisurely across his teeth.

Khalani couldn’t swallow. Couldn’t breathe. Like a noose was gradually tightening around her neck.

“That wasn’t very nice,” the Governor whispered.

Her limbs shook as his neck twisted, and the skin peeled away like tape. Lengths of electric wires unraveled beneath his skin.

Reaching for her.

“Kanes!” Someone gripped Khalani’s shoulder and spun her.

She yelped, raising her fists instinctively, but it was Takeshi’s large frame that stood over her. His frown deepened at her too-wide eyes.

“What happened?”

“Takeshi…I…he…” Khalani turned back, but the Governor’s decrepit body was no longer visible. Her limbs trembled and she drew both hands through her hair, feeling like she was losing her mind.

Khalani barely noticed the deep scratches she left on her scalp.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” Takeshi moved closer, scanning the horizon for threats.

“The Governor,” she rasped. “I saw him.”

Takeshi jolted, pivoting his attention back to her. “That’s impossible, Kanes.”

“But I did! He was there. Maybe he’s not dead. He could still be after us. I don’t…I don’t,” her voice shook as she struggled to find the right words.

Takeshi’s probing stare narrowed. Like she was crazy.

Was it all just a figment of her imagination?

Was Khalani finally losing her mind?

The emptiness surrounded her, screaming and laughing. Her skin felt too tight. Like she was wearing a costume of herself.

The scorching heat of the desert burned, and the deafening silence pulled the last threads of sanity from her mind like spaghetti. She crouched down and squeezed her forehead.

“Is she okay?” Serene’s concerned voice echoed from somewhere behind her.

A strong hand wrapped around the nape of her neck.

“Head between your legs,” Takeshi’s deep voice coaxed. “That’s it. Breathe for me.”

Khalani tried to lift her head, but he held her firmly in place. When she felt his fingers prod for knots and lightly begin to massage her neck, she gave up the fight and let her head rest between her knees.

Khalani stared at the speckles of sand, nearly drooling as Takeshi methodically kneaded her muscles.

Who knew hands of death could wring such peace?

“What’s wrong with her?” Brock asked, his voice laced with irritation.

“Go ahead. We’ll be behind you,” Takeshi ordered, focusing solely on Khalani, his fingers maintaining blissful pressure on her nape.

“We need to keep moving, Steele. If you can’t help her, I’ll carry her myself.”

“Back off,” Takeshi growled. “You’re not doing anything with an injured arm. If she needs to be carried, I’ll do it.”

“I think I’m feeling better,” she whispered, but her gaze didn’t leave the misshapen rock in the sand.

How long had the lone rock been there? Was she the first to notice it? To give it one hundred percent of her attention?

Maybe that was all anyone ever wanted—to be truly seen and not just a fading object in the background.

“We’ll catch up. Go,” Takeshi commanded, leaving no room for argument in his tone. She heard the others mumble but eventually walk away, leaving her and Takeshi alone.

And she realized this was the closest they’d been in days.

“You’re holding your breath,” he observed.

“Not so easy to breathe while you’re doing that.”

She winced when his fingers dug deeper into her skin, working out a large knot from carrying the heavy backpack for miles.

“You can take it,” Takeshi stated.

Khalani swallowed, his words and steady fingers doing strange things to her erratic pulse. “I’m okay now.”

“You sure?”

No.

Taking a full breath was arduous, and her temples ached as if someone were digging their fingers into her brain. But if she continued to sit there like mush in Takeshi’s hands, she might not get back up.

“Yes.”

Takeshi released his hold and stepped back. She stood, inhaling deeply as a bead of sweat dripped from the tip of her nose to the ground. Khalani briefly turned to the spot where the Governor had been.

The sheer nothingness mocked her. Miles of sand and faraway mountains were all that stared back.

Perhaps the baking sun was playing cruel tricks on her mind.

Yesterday, Khalani pointed toward a pool of water glistening on the concrete. She licked her dry lips and hastily marched forward, but Brock roughly pulled her back by the shoulder.

“No. It’s a mirage,” he said. “It’s not real.”

Not real.

Not real.

But the Governor’s blood-filled smile was clear and vivid, like he was standing directly in front of her.

It’s not real, she chanted repeatedly. If she said the words enough, her madness would surely disappear.

It had to.

Deliberately, she faced the road and hoisted the backpack higher on her shoulders. Khalani forced herself to move, determined to outrun the shadows of her past.

Takeshi fell in step alongside her. Though she kept her gaze fixed ahead, she could feel the weight of his lethal energy, a static charge that made the hairs on her arms rise.

“You don’t have to lie, you know.” His deep voice broke the silence

She whipped her head, surprised he was talking to her. By now, he should’ve gone back to blissfully ignoring her.

“About what?”

“About being okay.”

“One, I wasn’t lying. And two, you can stop pretending like you give a shit.”

He went silent for a moment, jaw working as he processed her words. “I’m going to let that one slide because you’re tired. Believing I don’t care would be illogical, even for you.”

Her feet halted. Did he really just—

“You’re joking, right?”

Takeshi also stopped, the sharp lines of his face amplified by the destruction around them. He leveled his irritated gaze at her. “Since when do I joke?”

“You must be! Either that, or we’ve entered some alternate reality where truths and lies are the same.”

“Sounds like the real world to me.”

Khalani gritted her teeth. “Oh, I’m sorry. In your world, does caring mean complete ignorance and pretending I’m invisible?”

“You’re too stubborn to be invisible, Kanes.”

“Wow. I’m just beyond flattered. Please, tell me how you really feel, Takeshi.”

“I don’t think I should. You have a habit of punching ineptly when you get angry.”

Her glare hardened. She wanted to claw his chiseled face off. No. She wanted to raze her vocal cords and protest to the heavens for having to travel with the most infuriating and complicated man in existence.

“You know what,” she got up in his face, “it doesn’t even matter. It’s clear that we shouldn’t talk because it always ends in a fight. So, this,” Khalani gestured between them, “whatever we had before…it’s over.”

A muscle in his neck pulsed and his Adam’s apple bobbed. The tempest in his eyes was virulent, as if every waking emotion was leeching out.

She hesitated, wanting to erase the last minute and start over, but a mask of indifference abruptly settled over his features.

“I already knew that. Surprised it took you this long.”

Her mouth fell open.

For a moment, everything halted.

Like the Earth stopped spinning to witness their downfall.

His statement came with too much space. Too much weight.

Too much certainty.

Despite her statement, a small part of Khalani hoped that he would say no and fight for her. To show something worth believing in.

She used to believe that one day, somewhere far in the future, they would stare at each other and move a little closer. To a life where the world’s problems didn’t hover over them constantly and they could find a spot to lie back against the pavement. Only thinking about their next intake of breath.

Khalani imagined chasing that dream forever, their footsteps engraining stories across the sand.

Because she’d rather be insane together than be sensible alone.

But Takeshi didn’t take back his ruinous words.

His fists clenched at her visible heartache, so tight she was surprised the skin didn’t break.

Her disloyal heart throbbed in return, and Khalani wished she could tear the organ right out of her chest.

If you hated someone, that meant you cared.

She didn’t want to care anymore.

She wanted to be like that lone rock on the road.

Enduring. Steady. Able.

Feeling nothing.

So, she let everything go the only way she knew how…

Khalani clenched her fist and punched him directly in the face.

Takeshi’s head snapped to the side. He inhaled sharply, nostrils flaring. He straightened and stared back at her, unblinking and resolute, as if he’d let her hit him when he could’ve easily blocked it.

And that didn’t sit right with her either.

She tightened her fist, ready to throw another shot.

“I let you get one in.” Takeshi’s deep voice lowered. “You won’t get a second.”

Too bad she no longer cared what he wanted.

She drew her hand back, ready to strike.

One second she was standing there, and the next, Khalani was flat on her back. When she tried to get up and punch him again, he gripped both her wrists and pushed her arms down on either side of her head. Takeshi straddled her legs, completely immobilizing her with his weight.

“Get off me,” she spat.

“This is for your own good, Kanes.”

She glared at him, eyes wild. “You don’t get to call me that anymore. Now let me go.” She bucked her legs, but Takeshi leaned forward.

“Stop struggling, or you’ll hurt yourself. Then I’ll be forced to tie your wrists and drag you behind me.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

His black eyes shifted like a predator’s. ‘I’ve thought of a million ways to tie you up since the day we met. Still wanna make that dare?”

Her muscles tightened, the press of his body against hers only amplifying the volatility around them. She itched to slide a knife across his throat and silence him, erasing any weight his words possessed.

Takeshi must have sensed the direction of her thoughts, because he only tightened his grip around her wrists.

Her throat cleared as she prepared to yell or spit in his face out of sheer spite. But knowing him, Takeshi would only follow through on his threat and gag her for amusement.

The sadistic bastard.

She stopped moving and closed her eyes.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Her jaw was still clenched as she tried to focus on breathing. But any semblance of patience was hanging by the barest thread.

“If I ask nicely, will you get up?” she seethed.

“Perhaps.”

“Please get off me…or I’m shooting you while you sleep,” Khalani added for good measure.

Takeshi’s stare bore into her when she opened her eyes. He tilted his head as if he were searching for something. A hidden answer in the depths of her resentment. But he’d already decimated any goodwill between them.

She’d treat him the same as a roach crawling along the highway.

With blanket disdain.

Without another word, Takeshi lifted himself off her.

Khalani immediately stood, aggressively wiping the sand off her clothes. Maybe it would erase the vestiges of the weak, na?ve girl she used to be.

She looked ahead and noticed the others were still visible on the road, but to catch up, she needed to powerwalk like there was a soft bed waiting for her at the end of the horizon.

Khalani grumbled under her breath and began the long, dreaded march forward. Unfortunately, Takeshi followed, refusing to transform into a rock she could kick along the gravel.

The ensuing silence felt as uncomfortable as nails scraping across concrete.

To distract herself, Khalani focused her mind on another mission. One that Winnie believed was even more important than reaching Hermes.

Project Helix.

She first heard the phrase from Timothy Talbot’s journal, which Winnie, a direct descendant of Timothy, had shown Khalani in secret. Timothy was said to have been a brilliant scientist during the Great Collapse, and his journal spoke of a hidden project—one that might hold the key to saving them all.

Neither Khalani nor Winnie knew what Project Helix meant, but Winnie was convinced that it was the key to safeguarding humanity’s future.

But as Khalani gazed at the heaps of ruin surrounding her, it was clear that Project Helix—whatever it was—never worked.

She crossed her arms, her head aching, as the sun lowered, navigating around the scattered cars and broken metal parts like an obstacle course.

“Is your plan to still shoot me when the sun goes down?” Takeshi’s voice broke through the cold stiffness, surprising her. She hadn’t realized he was keeping pace just a few feet away. His black hair fluttered across his face, thick lashes framing his penetrating eyes.

She glared in his direction. “I’m debating whether letting you rot in anticipation will be worse.”

“Or a part of you knows you wouldn’t be able to pull the trigger.” Takeshi tilted his head, his face stoic.

“You’d be a fool to think that.” She lifted her chin, letting him see the madness in her eyes. “If I were you, I’d sleep very, very lightly.”

“That’s fine.” He shrugged, as if they were discussing the weather and not imminent murder. “I already keep an eye on you while you sleep.”

“Sounds unhealthy,” she deadpanned.

“Probably.”

“And psychotic.”

“Stop with the compliments.”

Khalani scoffed and abruptly increased her pace, trying to distance herself from his insufferable presence. A failing effort thanks to his oversized legs matching her stride.

By the time they caught up with the others, the sun was low in the sky, and her calves and thighs were screaming for relief.

“You alright?” Serene asked as Khalani and Takeshi finally arrived at their resting spot under a half-torn bridge.

“I’m better,” she replied, struggling to catch her breath as she dropped her pack unceremoniously to the ground. “Just felt a little woozy back there.”

Khalani didn’t want to spook the others with her eerie vision of the Governor. The last thing she needed was for anyone else to question her sanity. Takeshi already did an incredible job at that.

“Come, sit.” Derek patted the empty ground next to him. “We can share a protein bar.”

The corner of her mouth quirked up, and Khalani groaned as she sat on the hard ground. All the training with Takeshi in Braderhelm couldn’t have prepared her for the miles of hiking every day under the blistering sun.

How humans managed to survive before the Great Collapse was a great mystery to her.

The temperature continued to drop, and Khalani hugged her knees closer to her chest as she ate.

“Be careful with your portions,” Brock warned. “We still have another week before we reach Hermes, and that’s if we don’t run into any storms.”

“What kind of storms we talking?” Adan peered up as he rummaged through his pack.

“Sandstorms. Nasty fuckers that can bury you alive.” Brock’s voice dipped as he stared beyond the bridge. “We’ll be able to spot most from a distance, but they move fast out here. If I tell you to run for the nearest shelter, you don’t ask why.”

“And here I thought the surface would be fun. Next thing you’ll tell me is that there are plants out here that can eat us,” Serene grumbled, plopping down beside her with a huff.

Derek lifted a finger. “Actually, there used to be a carnivorous plant species called the Venus fl—”

“As fascinating as this conversation is,” Brock cut in, “we need to figure out who’s taking watch tonight. Steele, you’re not doing it a fourth night in a row.”

“I can do it,” Serene stated.

“No,” Brock clipped. “You don’t even know how to use a gun.”

“Sure, I do. I just aim the pointy end at you and shoot.”

Brock looked heavenward, like he was questioning what he’d done wrong in a previous life.

“I got it.” Khalani rose to her feet. She needed the distraction.

“No way. Didn’t you almost pass out today?” Brock frowned.

“Agreed. It should be someone else,” Takeshi spoke for the first time.

Khalani snapped her gaze to him. He leaned his left shoulder against the pillar supporting the bridge. His posture was too calm against the wicked fervor in his expression.

No one else probably noticed.

“I’m fine. And besides,” she palmed her handgun, “I have no problem shooting any psychos that might wander our way. Right, Takeshi?”

“Yes, I’m sure one look at you with a gun will scare anyone straight off.”

If there were a prize for getting under someone’s skin, Takeshi would emphatically win first place. He was worse than a bug. Worse than the bacteria that lived on a bug. And she wanted nothing more than to march over and knee him between the legs to prevent procreation.

Her final gift to humanity.

“You’re so right.” She plastered on a fake smile. “Thank God I believe in shooting first and asking questions later.”

The corner of his lip barely lifted.

“Okay, but if I have to pee in the middle of the night, I’m not gonna get shot, right?” Adan looked back and forth between them.

Khalani rolled her eyes and picked up her bag. “I’ll set post over there.” She pointed to a large brown vehicle that may have been white in the past but was covered in layers of rust. “You guys should get some sleep.”

She strode right past Takeshi, ignoring him completely, and threw her bag onto the car’s hood. Raising her arms behind her back, she let out a groan as the cracks and pops of her stiff muscles echoed in the stiff quiet.

After a moment, Khalani lifted herself on the hood and leaned back against the windshield. One hand rested on the gun in her lap, and the other crooked behind her head.

Soon after, the soft sound of snores filtered through the space. To keep herself occupied, Khalani imagined colors painting across the concrete ceiling. She attempted to conjure a myriad of greens, reds, and purples, reminiscent of the aurora borealis Winnie had once shown her in prison.

But no matter how hard she tried, no image came forth.

Like a thick wall had permanently covered her mind.

All she could see were the Governor’s piercing blue eyes staring back at her. And he never stopped smiling.

As if he knew something she didn’t.