Chapter Fifteen

Izzy

What was it about weddings that made you think about your own love life? Or lack thereof, in my case.

Oh, and please don’t remind me about the whole ice skating rink debacle. Yes, that was what we were calling it. You could also call it the moment that Izzy’s brain fell out of her head and she decided to do the stupidest thing ever and cut the moment short, but I preferred the debacle one because it was shorter. To each their own, though.

And it didn’t matter what you chose to call it because I couldn’t seem to get the moment out of my head. And why not? Well, besides the fact that I’d be winning the award for this year’s biggest idiot, I was currently sitting at the same table as Bo, watching our best friends dance their first dance.

The ceremony was beautiful and everything I’d imagined it would be. This wasn’t the first wedding I’d attended, but it was the first I helped plan and I didn’t think I’d ever stop obsessing over how romantic and inspiring it all was.

This was the moment, the day that little girls (me included) dreamed about. I wanted to walk down the aisle in a white poofy dress that I got lost in, naturally, to marry the love of my life, the one person in the whole world who understood me and saw me for me.

I thought I knew what I wanted, what I was looking for, but it turned out you couldn’t set expectations on love, Zel was right about that. You couldn’t plan for who your soulmate would be or what they’d be like. It just sort of had to happen. It was like a fairytale—only, because I was sabotaging myself, mine wouldn’t end with a kiss. Mine wouldn’t happen at all. Need I remind you that Bo was only here for a short period of time, that he was leaving to head back to New York soon?

And that was why I didn’t see the point in kissing him at the rink. I didn’t want my heart to hurt any more than it would when I had to say goodbye.

Long distance relationships didn’t work.

I knew this.

I’d been down this road before.

And I knew people said that with the right person everything would fall into place, but wasn’t that merely wishful thinking?

I was all for optimism, but not if it meant breaking my own heart. I didn’t want to feel like a piece of me was missing every time we were apart. This was for the best, for both of us, but especially me.

Pushing thoughts of my own love life aside, I couldn’t help the smile that took over as I observed Fiona laughing as Louie spun her, her head falling back. I didn’t think I had ever seen her this happy. Being with Louie always put a smile on her face, but today was something else entirely. It appeared being his wife suited her.

When the emcee announced it was time for other couples to join the happy couple on the dance floor, I shifted in my seat and tapped on Bo’s shoulder, trying to get his attention.

Bo always looked handsome, but tonight, in his best man attire, he looked dashing as ever, wearing a navy blue suit and grey tie. Plus, it complimented my yellow maid of honor dress nicely. To the outside world, we looked like the perfect couple.

And I really believed we could be—at least our definition of perfect.

So why was I pushing him away when all I wanted to do was hold him close?

“Want to dance?” I asked, placing a hand out for him to take as I got up, hoping he wouldn’t leave me hanging.

Peering up at me now, he looked from me to my hand, but shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

“Come on, please? Don’t make me pull someone else out onto the dance floor.” I didn’t want to feel someone else’s hands on me. I wanted to be held by him—why couldn’t he see that?

He looked around and cleared his throat. “I’m sure any man here would be more than willing to dance with you.”

Why was he being like this? I stood my ground. “I want to dance with you.” I emphasized that last word.

He straightened his shoulders and told me, “I don’t dance.”

“You don’t or you won’t?”

“Both.”

I rolled my eyes. “Well, that’s not good enough.” I pleaded, “Please, Bo. We look snow cute. We wouldn’t want to waste it sitting in these chairs off to the side when there’s a lovely ballroom floor we could be dancing on.”

He snorted. “Snow cute?” he repeated.

Of course that was what he caught on to.

“Fine.” He placed his hand in mine and led the way to the dance floor. “But only one dance and then I’m coming to sit back down and wait for the cake to come out.”

“You’re looking forward to that cake, are you?”

He narrowed his eyes. “It’s chocolate cake, of course I’m looking forward to it.”

I chuckled as we stepped into each other’s embrace, my arms wrapping around his neck as we moved to the soft music. “Is it Louie that likes chocolate or you?”

Grinning, he replied, “Can’t it be both?”

“May I ask you something?”

He stepped back, extending his arms, his hands still around my waist, but now our eyes could meet. “Anything,” he answered and I knew he meant it.

I waited to get up the courage to ask what was on my mind. When it finally came, I came out with it—“If I asked you to come back, would you?”

He furrowed his brows. “You mean in the new year?”

I nodded. “I’d really like it if you did.”

“What for?”

He couldn’t be serious. He didn’t know? I wet my lips, intending on being as obvious as possible without outright saying it. “For me.” Then I tried again, but this time was more specific. “For us.”

Brows furrowed, he asked, “Us?”

“Bo, don’t make me spell it out.” I mean, did I really have to? Maybe there wasn’t an us yet, but there could have been. Wasn’t he there for that almost-kiss last night? I knew he wanted it as much as I did. Could he have gotten over whatever this was already?

He grew rigid and seemingly less comfortable, his expression looking more serious, too. “Maybe I need you to.”

Fine, if he needed me to say it, then I would. “I want to be with you. I want you to stay so that we can date each other.” Okay, that sounded lame. It sounded a lot more romantic in my head.

He looked perplexed, like he wanted to say yes, but he was holding back, stopping himself. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” he finally said, looking as crestfallen as I felt.

“Why not? You were about to kiss me at the rink. I know you feel something here. Don’t you want to give us a chance to see what this could be? We could have the greatest fairytale ever told.”

“This isn’t one of your books, Izzy,” he said and when the song ended, without hesitation, Bo walked out of my embrace and started toward the door.

I knew what you were thinking. I shouldn’t want to be with a man who wasn’t going to fight for me, who was going to leave me alone on a dance floor, or walk away when things got hard. But I couldn’t help it, I wanted him. I wanted Bo.

Because I knew that he wasn’t the man he saw himself to be or the way others saw him, either. He was more than that.

Sure, he could be beastly, but if that was the case and we were going to call him a beast, then I wanted him to be my beast.

Then again, we didn’t always get what we wanted, did we?

I was just afraid this would be one of those times.

* * *

Bo

I had to get out of there.

It was starting to feel like the walls were closing in on me and it was getting harder for me to breathe the longer I stayed.

It didn’t matter how far I was from the venue because Izzy’s words were still ringing in my ear, “Don’t you want to give us a chance?”

Of course I wanted to give us a chance! I wanted to know if there even was an us. Man, I really wished there was.

But how could there be an us, dummy, if you keep walking away from the possibility?

Yes, the first time it was Izzy that stopped things from progressing, but I didn’t help matters. I ended things just as fast, agreeing we should get some sleep. And the entire walk back to her place, it was crickets. Frigging crickets. I didn’t so much as hear her shiver from the chill in the air.

The only thing that was left to feed my soul was the annoyance I felt for being so stupid.

But I had to let her go because how could she ever be happy with a man like me? Izzy was a heck of a woman and she could have any man she wanted. It wasn’t like we’d get some happily ever after.

This was real life. Not some romance book. She was wrong, there would be no fairytale ending.

And the sooner I got out of this town, the sooner I could forget about all of this and move on with my life.

Give me some time and I was sure I could get past Izzy and everything I liked about her. Her adorable behavior. Adorable behavior? Why did that pop into my head?

But it was cute how she acted sometimes, wasn’t it? Like the way she was so passionate about the silliest of things.

Candy canes.

Tree decorating.

Wedding cake.

Christmas.

Christmas.

Did I mention Christmas?

Even when she was practically dragging me into Jesse’s house for an ugly sweater party, I couldn’t deny how cute she was, trying to get me to feel better about my sweater by pointing out an even uglier one.

She also had one of the biggest hearts I’d ever seen. I wasn’t the easiest person to get along with when we first met or when we started planning our friends’ wedding over email. None of that deterred her, though. She put our differences aside and tried to find the good in me, in all of it.

In the meantime, I fell for her—hard. But I couldn’t forget this wasn’t some fantasy.

As I walked across the street and onto the sidewalk, I played every memory we shared in my head like it was a movie reel. To be honest, it could easily be one of my favorite movies. Only, I didn’t think I liked the ending of this one.

“Bo!” I heard someone shout to me. It wasn’t someone, though. I would know that voice anywhere. It was Izzy.

I turned around and watched as she continued walking, crossing the street to come straight to me. She was wearing a long, white and gray coat over her dress now and she looked even more radiant enveloped in the fur. I drank her in and couldn’t help the smile that tugged at my lips. This woman was incredible.

But what was she holding? My eyes honed in on the small box in her hands and I cocked a brow, curious what was inside.

Before I could think any further about the box or anything else for that matter, I heard an engine and the sound was getting closer until finally I looked to our side and saw a motorcycle coming down the street. . . and fast. It wasn’t stopping, so my eyes went from the motorcycle to Izzy, who was walking in the middle of the street coming straight toward me, but not fast enough.

I ran in the street without even thinking twice about it and pushed Izzy out of harm’s way, bringing us both down to the ground that was cushioned with soft white snow from this morning’s snowfall. The motorcycle drove right past us, not a care in the world.

“Who was that?” I asked aloud, but knew she couldn’t tell me since she looked as surprised by all of that as I was.

She shook her head, her mouth agape. “I have no idea, but it was definitely no one from around here.”

“How could you be so sure? Because there’s sixteen hundred people who live here?” I asked, knowing I’d get a rise out of her with that one.

“Sixteen hundred and two,” she returned as I expected, laughing. Then she explained, “No one from around here would be driving so recklessly on Christmas Eve.”

I got up and lended her my hand to help her up, too. “Are you okay?”

She dusted herself off with the hand that wasn’t holding the box still firmly in her grasp, and nodded. “I think so. Thanks to you.”

“Don’t make me out to be some prince.”

“Sorry.” She shrugged. “You earned the title.”

Ignoring her comment, not wanting to give her any other reason to believe I was this great guy, I only said, “Maybe we should get out of the street.”

As we stepped back on the sidewalk, I questioned, “Why are you here, anyway?”

“You mean, why did I come after you?”

I cracked my knuckles nervously, waiting, hoping she wouldn’t say what I thought she was about to say, and looked her in the eyes expectantly.

She exhaled. “I’m not going to let you walk away.”

And she said it, folks.

“Excuse me?”

“This isn’t only about you. I’m involved, too. And I deserve a say, don’t I?” But before I could respond, she went on, saying, “Every year Silver Springs celebrates Christmas with the tradition of hanging our coveted personalized ornaments on the tree in the center of town. We gather and hang our ball and those of loved ones that have come before us or are no longer here to hang it themselves for whatever reason.”

Why was she telling me this? “I know this. I was there.”

She shook her head. “Maybe so, but this next part you don’t know.”

I tilted my head and quirked a brow. What didn’t I know? It seemed pretty basic to me. It was for the townspeople, a tradition they had to get them all together and celebrate the holidays. What was I missing?

Pushing the box she was holding now toward me, she urged, “Take it. It’s for you. An early Christmas present.”

I couldn’t accept this. Especially not when I didn’t get her anything. “You shouldn’t have,” I spoke my mind.

She brushed me off, though, and insisted I see what was inside. “I won’t take no for an answer and didn’t your parents ever teach you it’s not nice to turn down a gift?”

I sighed and took the box. “I’ll open it later.” Say when I was halfway back to New York, where I belonged. I didn’t belong here with Izzy. I had never done anything to deserve her. She was too good. Too. . . sunshiney. Was that a word? Well, either way, it was the best way to describe her and I was sticking with it.

She put a hand on her hip now and gave me a look that all but said I don’t think so as she dared me to change my mind.

“What do you want from me?” I didn’t know how many more times I could walk away from her. Without telling her how I felt.

“What do I want?” she echoed my words. “I want you to open that box and see that it’s all I could do not to think about you. You’ve gotten under my skin, Beauregard.”

I swallowed at the use of my full name, remembering one of the first times she cracked the armor I had around my heart. Izzy definitely wrecked my plans of never letting someone in enough to hurt me again. But I was okay with that if it meant I could be with her.

I didn’t know what I was waiting for exactly. Maybe a sledgehammer to hit me over the head and remind me why this was a bad idea.

Without hesitating anymore, I opened the box to reveal a Christmas ball, but not just any Christmas ball. This one was just for me. It was white with blue snowflakes and my name in block letters: Bo.

I must’ve been holding my breath because when Izzy’s eyes filled with water and her voice cracked as she asked, “Do you like it?” I found it hard to find my own voice.

So I decided not to overthink it and placed it back in the box and put it in one hand so that I could easily lift her up and twirl her around.

She giggled as I spun us and the only thing I could think as she smiled down at me was that this was all I wanted, all I needed: for her to be happy. Just like this.

“So I take it you like it?” she joked as I put her down, her feet touching the ground again.

I nodded. “You could say that.”

With our faces mere inches from one another, I brought a finger to her bottom lip and pulled on it slightly until she opened her mouth, her breath hitting my hand as she said, “Please tell me you’re going to kiss me.”

I smiled. “Yeah, I’m going to kiss you,” I promised before bringing my lips down on hers.

The kiss started out slow, like we were getting to know one another all over again, and didn’t want to take things too fast. But once she opened her mouth to me, I couldn’t help but quicken the pace, sliding my tongue in and relishing in her sweet taste. If I didn’t know any better I’d think she ate a candy cane before coming here because she tasted sweet and minty.

The kiss was never-ending and you’d hear no complaints from me about that, but finally I leaned my forehead against hers as we both tried to catch our breath.

“Best kiss ever,” she whispered, sighing happily.

I gave her another quick kiss on the lips and agreed with her.

She laughed. Then she asked, “So what now?”

I grabbed her hand in mine and squeezed it tight. “Now we go on a proper date.”

She blushed, her cheeks turning that crimson color I loved. “Oh, Bo, are you asking me out on a date?”

“I am,” I answered, smiling. “I’ll even pull out your chair for you.”

“Will this date end in another kiss?”

I let out a low growl. “If I have it my way, it’ll start with one, too.”

“Good. So we’re on the same page.”

“Seems so.”

“Who knew,” she began asking, her cheerfulness filling the cold air, “that two people like us, as different as day and night, would end up together?”

“I wasn’t so sure we would for a second, but I guess even a beast like me could find love with a beauty like you.”