47. The Tides Can Change

FORTY-SEVEN

It was fun watching Parker let loose with the guys and be himself. He was the kind of person that fit into every room he walked into, but these people were his family.

The DJ cut the music, and his voice filled the room. "Ladies and gentlemen, the bride would like to share a dance with her father. Carl, please join your daughter in the center of the dance floor."

Georgia stood there waiting for her dad with the biggest smile on her face. She waved him over excitedly. He extended his hand and spun her into his side. Georgia looked unbelievably happy, and the way her dad looked down at her with teary eyes put a knot in my stomach.

I could feel myself disassociating with a placid smile on my face. It was my least favorite part of every wedding. I was happy to see them happy, of course, but it was a spectacle that reminded me of what I would never have.

Before my dad died, it was mainly jealousy I felt while watching dads spin their daughters around to "My Little Girl" by Tim McGraw. I wanted someone to love me so much that seeing me marry the man of my dreams and move on with my life would bring them to tears. He'd shake my new husband's hand and know he was leaving me in the hands of a good man who'd protect my heart.

Now, watching them shuffle around and talk quietly over the music, I mourned the relationship I'd never have. Death was unbelievably final. It was a period at the end of a sentence. Over. An opportunity lost. I knew it was better for me, my safety, and my peace of mind, but more than anything it was a loss.

I felt Parker's hand, warm and comforting on my knee. My eyes met his and with a simple look I knew he knew what was going through my mind. He held Lily close to his shoulder with one hand, and took the one from my knee, using it to cup my chin and pull my lips to his. It was a gentle reminder that I wasn't alone. A reminder I didn't want to admit I needed.

Halfway through the song, the DJ announced, "Any dads and daughters in attendance, please join in if you'd like."

Parker squeezed my hand and stood with Lily. "We'll be back." He joined Noah who was twirling Stassie around while holding Ana.

Parker held Lily's tiny hand in his like he was properly dancing with an adult as he sang the words to her. Just like Halloween, what once wasn't exciting or fun had a whole different meaning. Parker was intentional with every interaction, but he made it look like it came naturally. He wasn't putting on a show.

My emotions were suddenly a mess for a whole different reason. The chair to my right pulled out. Jo sat down next to me and leaned her head on my shoulder. The simple show of solidarity warmed my heart. I rested my head against hers and sighed as my heart started to knit itself back together.

"It's bittersweet, isn't it?" she murmured so only I could hear. "Watching your daughter have something you've wanted your whole life."

"How did you know?" I didn't know how much Parker had told them about my family.

"I saw the look on your face. Every wedding, I look around to see if there's anyone else as heartbroken as me when this song comes on. Knowing you aren't alone is something every human craves."

"I usually go to the bathroom until it's over."

I stared off at the gorgeous decorations. The color palette was made up of neutrals and white roses. It was beautiful and traditional.

Jo lifted her head but kept our shoulders pressed together. "I used to too. Until him." Her eyes were focused on her husband giving into Stassie's demands to keep spinning her. Then Stass must have deemed her dad unfit, because she moved onto Parker who didn't have a prayer at saying no to her. They laughed, and Stass collapsed into a fit of giggles when Parker spun Noah like a ballerina.

"Now we have a reason to enjoy it and let go of some of the pain."

The song changed and Jo stood, pulling me to the dancefloor with her. Parker swooped in and tugged me close. Lily's eyes lit up and she kicked her feet when she saw me.

"Miss me, babygirl?" I cooed and smacked a kiss on her cheek. She smooshed my face in her hands and we all laughed as she patted me affectionately like a dog. Parker's arm slid around my back and I nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

I lifted my head to look at him and the happy people around us who had welcomed me into their chosen family without hesitation. They'd been there for Parker when I couldn't.

"Yeah, actually. I think I'm really, really okay. Thank you for bringing us here."

Peter danced up and reached out for Lily. "Mom and Dad want a dance or two?"

Lily watched him with curious eyes, but didn't make a face or cry when Parker handed her to him.

"Make it three," Parker replied, already pulling me to him, placing his hands low on my waist. "Just don't lose the baby, Runt."

Peter gave him a soldier salute and disappeared to the tables where Brett was entertaining Noah's girls.

"Finally, I get you all to myself."

We danced for far more than three songs, and by the time we were done, I was all melty and warm from being touched and held by my man. All I wanted was to go home and spend more time with his hands on me.

Lily was ready for bed when we retrieved her from where she was sleeping nestled against Peter's shoulder. I was surprised she even stayed awake as long as she did.

We were a happy, perfect mess as we walked back to the hotel a block over. Parker had lost his suit jacket at some point, and his black dress shirt had a few buttons undone. Just a hint of his dark chest was showing. Lily had a firm grip on the gold chain hanging from his neck as she slept with her head tucked into his neck.

"You know," he said lowly like he was deeply pondering something. "I've heard a picture lasts longer." His dimples were on full display as he teased me. I went to shove him lightly but he moved out of reach. "Ah, ah, ah. Sleeping baby here." His hand captured mine and he linked our fingers. "If you think I'm hot, you can just say it, Dellie Girl. No need to salivate in silence."

"I wasn't going to say you're hot." He hummed in response like he didn't believe me. "I was going to say you look manly. Really… grown up." I was still getting used to seeing him in this role and if I was honest, it only made me more attracted to him. He had always been a caregiver, but watching Parker as a dad was like getting a shot of horniness straight into my vein.

"Hmm, I didn't know you had a thing for dads."

"Well, I did just finish Jen's book. The?—"

"Single dad MLB player, I know. What did you think? It was hot." His eyes were even darker in the dim light, hooded slightly and focused on my lips.

"Yeah, that's a given. She's a great author." Parker only raised his eyebrows and waited for me to go on. "Okay, it was also hot because he's a baseball player and a dad."

"And because you were imagining I was him?"

"A little presumptuous to think I fantasize about you, don't you think?" I hit the up button for our floor once we were inside the elevator.

"Sorry, maybe I'm just reflecting the thoughts I have onto you."

Usually I was turned off when men were so straightforward. I liked the game. But Parker"s bold honesty had my attention more than I wanted to admit. He leaned back against the wall as we began our ascent and kicked his feet out, oozing arrogance. Or maybe it was just confidence? Could he tell I was two seconds away from climbing him like a Goddamn tree?

It could have been the way he was looking at me, or the shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbow to reveal thick, veiny forearms. Or that I could see the start of my name etched into the skin over his heart. Because I wanted it to be one I knew I wouldn't regret.

"Careful Parker, you'll inflate my ego."

"My goal is for you to always know how much I want you Del. I hope I give you the biggest ego possible so you never question how gorgeous you are."

I was about to make a joke to deflect from the sudden seriousness of the conversation, but then I saw how he was looking at me. His dark gaze showed his intentions clearly for me to see. He wasn't playing. The warm, silky feeling melted over every inch of my body.

The door slid open on our floor and Parker took my hand in his to lead me to our room. I'd thought we'd stay in his apartment while we were here, but he'd had a room booked for over a year. He didn't clarify that we'd have a whole extravagant suite to ourselves.

Parker put Lily to bed while I stood at the large window and stared out at the city below.

"I can't get over the views of this city. I've wanted to come here since I was a little girl," I said when I felt his presence looming behind me. Peter was right. I had been mildly obsessed with Twilight when I was younger, and I've always loved the rain. The lights twinkled in the dark and buildings were lit up in all different colors in anticipation for the upcoming holiday.

"You have author friends that live here, Chelsea, even. Why didn't you visit?" The palm of his hand ran up and down my back in slow, soothing strokes.

"You know why."

"It's a big city, Del."

"It's the principle of the fact. It was yours. You had Seattle and I had home. We both wanted space."

"The last thing I've ever wanted is space." He curled himself around me like he meant the sentiment in the physical sense too. "I don't think I ever told you why I signed with Buffalo."

"You like the coaches," I shrugged.

"You love Seattle."

"What?" I didn't understand.

"You love Seattle. Don't you remember our talks about the future?"

"When we were 15 and had no idea what the future would even look like?"

"You planned your life in Seattle in our ‘Surviving Single' class. I pretended I had a plan other than baseball, but I didn't. You had a clear route in mind and I admired that. You knew what you wanted and had a plan for achieving it. Your plan had you here, happy, with a career you loved. Signing with Buffalo meant that I'd have a chance of being part of it."

I turned in his arms and found him staring down at me with so much emotion in his eyes. "You made all of those decisions so you could be with me? Here?"

"I had no clue we'd be here like this after all these years, but I knew I wanted you to be in my life no matter what. That's why I've been working my ass off. It was devastating to finally get here and not have you with me."

"You like it here, though."

"I do," he said.

"But you chose it because of me? All those years ago. I don't get it."

"Delilah, I've loved you for more of my life than I haven't. And more than a friend should, for longer than I've let myself admit."

I smiled slowly, "But you're admitting it now?"

His stare was serious and unflinching. "I am so in love with you that I will go anywhere you want to live. I'll quit baseball and be a coach, or use my accounting degree even though it bores me to death."

My mind was reeling. I didn't know he chose Buffalo because I wanted to live in Seattle. He'd been thinking about a future with me for longer than I ever imagined. He signed with Buffalo right after graduation. While I was still with my ex.

"You love me."

"I love you."

"You promise?" I blinked rapidly, trying to suppress the tears fighting their way to the surface.

"I've always protected you whenever possible, but Delilah, I want to be the one you trust with your heart. I promise that it'll always be safe with me. I promise that you're it for me. You have been for a long time and I'm over playing games and pretending. Please, let me love you."

I knew my smile was like a beam of light in the dark. "You just knew none of those guys would last."

"You knew it too, Peach."

"You love me."

"Let me show you." He kissed the side of my neck, and pulled the flimsy strap off my shoulder to reveal smooth bare skin. "Are you in the mood for a bath, my love?"