42. Not Like a Friend

FORTY-TWO

The flashing lights were temporarily blinding. I'd been bracing myself for them since we left the apartment, but I was distracted by Parker and his addicting touch, which I realized was most likely not a coincidence. His built frame blocked out the lights when he stood in the door frame, hiding me from the paparazzi until I was able to fix my dress before standing.

"Ready?" The lust that shone in his eyes just minutes ago was replaced with a mask of confidence. I wondered how much was fabricated and what was really true. I understood that part of him as I perfected my own years ago. While we each had our own reasons for needing a mask, it served the same purpose: keep people out and protect ourselves.

"Ready." I placed my hand in his and schooled my features with a calm, cool smile. No one would know that I just came on his face and had the time of my life with his head between my legs.

I could do this. I could be this girl for Parker. He was worth it. I chanted that mantra in my head as the paparazzi hurled questions.

He passed me to his other hand and slid his arm around my back and held on tight to my hip. It made me feel safe in a situation where I was seriously out of my depth.

"Parker! Is this your baby mama?"

"How long have you known about your daughter?"

"Is this your mistress? What does Kerrie think about you having a baby?"

The last one really made me cringe. "Mistress" made me sound like an old lady. I knew they were never together like that, but the world didn't. I wasn't used to biting my tongue and I really wanted to set the record straight.

Did he, though? Did it even bother him that people thought I was the other woman? It brought back memories from high school. I felt the heat of every glare I'd gotten from his girlfriends when I hugged him in front of them.

"Is this the one, Parker? Are you done window shopping?"

He cleared his throat and spoke so everyone could hear before we walked inside the building. "There's never been anyone else." He kissed my temple.

I decided I wasn't going to play the victim or scorned woman. Instead, I smiled and waved like I didn't have a care in the world.

When the door to the entrance closed behind us, I found myself pressed against the wall of a small dark alcove out of view.

"You're so fucking sexy when you give people hell with your sweet voice. It makes me hard." Parker kissed me like his goal was to steal my breath. I could taste a hint of myself on his lips that reminded me just how true his words were. I affected him like that.

Our booth was in the back of the restaurant. On the way there, we passed faces I recognized from TV and voices I heard on the radio. It was hard not to stare, and I was sure they saw the starstruck look on my face. It felt like my forehead had a glowing neon sign that said, "I don't belong here."

Our spot in the corner was cozy, but Parker sat across from me and made sure there was plenty of distance between us. I sniffed the coral roses decorating two vases on either side of our table. Looking around, no other patrons had florals of any kind.

Parker watched me assess our surroundings with a curious smirk. He was a literal depiction of my dreams in his tailored shirt and inky black hair. My fingers had been twined in it only minutes ago and he hadn't bothered to smooth it down. Somehow, he still looked utterly perfect.

"Scared of me?" I asked, nodding to the distance when the server left with our drink order.

"Of a little thing like you? Yes." His smile was my favorite thing in the world. I loved the way it made me feel inside, like a sparkler with cold flames erupting in the pit of my stomach. Like a kid, unable to fall asleep on Christmas Eve. Like hope and joy and eagerness mixing in a cocktail shaker. "I might be able to think a bit clearer with you all the way over there where I can't touch you."

"That's no fun." I faked a pout.

A laugh rumbled in his chest. "Twenty questions?"

"Sure." I folded my hands under my chin and settled in for our favorite game. "You first."

"What do you think of my friends?" The expression on his face was unguarded. He wanted my opinion on some of the most important people in his life.

I didn't have to fake a reaction. "I think they're fun. I'm glad that you have them. Your life here is a lot different than I pictured it in my head."

"What did you picture in that pretty head of yours?"

"Bitches and hoes." I worked to keep a straight face for as long as possible but eventually broke into laughter, and I saw relief flood over his features.

"Are you messing with me or being serious?"

"Both. I didn't think it would be that wild and crazy, but I didn't expect babysitting and bowling. You're kind of an old man. You do know you're only 26, right?"

"Oh, because you're really living it up in Roe, Mama." His dimples would definitely be the death of me.

It shouldn't have affected me as much as it did when he called me that. I shouldn't have been so satisfied that he had a somewhat normal life here where he had friends that had kids and girls weren't hanging all over him.

"What do you think of the city?"

"It's gorgeous. You know I've always wanted to come here. I have some people I know here, actually."

"Aurora?" His eyes studied mine, but I just nodded. "Do you have any plans to meet with your team while you're here?" I watched his throat flex as he swallowed his wine.

"Yeah, actually. If that's okay. We'll meet the day before we fly home. It shouldn't take longer than a few hours."

"Is it a casual thing? I could come along if you'd like. Navigating the city is tricky at first."

I waved him off. "It's okay. I'll just have Mark drive me. You'd be bored."

"I wouldn't mind. It would be cool to see you in work mode."

"It's kind of a girls thing. You know, romance readers."

He put his hands up in surrender and I felt the guilt start to creep in. "Okay, do your thing. I won't intrude."

"Sorry, it'd just be really helpful if you could watch Lily. I usually can't do these kinds of things when I have her."

"Okay." He said the word simply, not angry, but slightly resigned.

We were quiet after the semi-heated moment, and didn't say anything until after our food arrived. I twisted my fork in the massive mound of alfredo, wondering who would be the one to break the silence.

"Do you want more kids?" Parker asked after a few minutes of silence had passed.

His question caught me off guard. The bite I'd taken lodged in my throat for a second, but cleared when I took a drink of the deep red wine he ordered for the table.

"Sorry, I wasn't expecting you to ask that. Uh, I think so. Maybe one more. You?"

"Yeah, but only if you do. Lily is so good. I can't wait until she can talk when she's older. I want to play with her without being scared that I'll break her."

"Only if I do?" I dabbed my lips with the napkin from my lap.

His lips slid into a slow smile. "Who else would I have babies with?"

"I'm sure there would be countless volunteers if you announced you needed one."

"Oh good idea, let me just—" he started to raise his arm and cleared his throat. People looked over and gave him their attention.

I pulled his arm back down to the table and avoided looking around to see who was watching. "Don't you dare," I scolded him in a low whisper.

He sat back down and chuckled at my wide eyes. "I was just kidding, Delilah. If we're growing our family, we're doing it together."

I covered my mouth as I laughed. "We're doing everything backwards. Friends, then baby, then enemies, then moving in together. Then another baby? I think the common procedure is to ask for a woman's hand in marriage before requesting a second baby."

He grasped my hand in his and drew circles around my palm. "I don't think we were meant to be like other people."

"That's easy for you to say, mister baseball star. I'm just the girl you accidentally knocked up. You heard the people outside." I looked down at my plate and took another long drink to pretend there hadn't been a slight wobble in my voice.

Parker squeezed my hand to get my attention. "I know it's impossible, but you can't let them get to you. They don't know anything about our life. They have no idea what you mean to me."

"Oh yeah? Same."

He scoffed. "Liar. You know how I feel."

Maybe, but I wanted to know for sure. I wanted to hear it straight from his lips. For the first time in my life, I was craving a man"s words and needed to know how he felt about me. It was a vulnerable position that I'd never let myself get into. It was dependent and weak, vulnerable. It felt like it was do or die and that made me nervous. I didn't know what I'd do if he wasn't as fucked up over me as I was about him. We'd be tied together forever now and there was some relief in that, but it also meant we'd have to be in each other's life if we didn't work out. I'd have a front row seat to him falling for someone else and starting a family separate from ours. I prided myself on not letting a man have leverage over me or the ability to hurt me, but I didn't think my heart would ever recover from something like that.

"At least I thought you did."

I looked up to see him watching me with a softness in his eyes.

"Delilah, you have to know that I love you." His words made my heart leap in a stupid, hopeless kind of way. "I can't remember a time when I didn't love you. It was one thing when we were kids and you've always been my family, but it's so different now. I want you in my life forever. I want you to be my wife. I want you to move to Seattle. I want more miniature versions of you. I want to see you grow with our children. You're already a great mom, but it's only going to get better. I want to be there for all the changes you"re going to go through in life that make you more yourself."

I didn't know how to respond. It was everything I wanted to hear. Everything he'd been holding back because he was afraid he'd scare me off. He was the only person I needed reassurance from, and the only person I'd believe.

His gaze was simmering with every feeling he'd expressed. It was written all over his face and it was the only proof I needed to completely give myself to him.

There was a silly, goofy smile on my face when I replied, "You love me?" It came out in a laugh. "Like really love me?"

There was no hesitation in his voice. "Yes."

"Even though I'm not sweet?"

He nodded.

"Even though I make you make the bed the correct way?"

Another nod.

"Even though I'm needy. And a brat."

"Those are two of my favorite things about you."

"You love me, not like a friend?" I knew the difference, but did he?

"You're my best friend, but I love you like I want every second of time that you're willing to give me. Every bit of you that you'll let me have."

I knew my eyes were glassy, but I refused to wipe at them and make the tears fall.

"What do you say, Dellie?"

I swallowed down the giddy emotions clogging my throat. "Yeah, I think it's okay if you love me."

He smiled a happy, giddy smile. "You'll allow it?"

"I will."

We stared at each other in a happy little trance. I took one last drink of my wine and folded my napkin on the table.

"I'm not hungry anymore."

"No?" His eyebrows pinched together. "Was the food alright?"

"The food was great. Can we go home?"

Realization flashed over his expression. "Oh, I see. Well, I hate to delay that. But I do have one more stop before we head home."

"A quick one?"

"You'll see."