4. Ghosted

FOUR

Three weeks after Buffalo:

Parker:

Is this what it's like to be ghosted by Delilah Howard? Idk if I'm honored or sad. Call me, Peach. I miss your face.

Parker:

We won tonight and I want the reward of your pretty smile on my phone telling me how hot I was on TV. Did you take pics?

Four weeks after Buffalo:

Parker:

We won again, but I'm seriously wondering what the point is if I don't have you. We were supposed to be here together. I did my part Del. Come be with me. I wish you would just call me. I know I scared you, but I'm not gonna take it back. I love you like the grass is green. It's a fact Delilah.

Five weeks after Buffalo:

Parker:

Have you been watching? I fucking suck when I don't know if you're watching.

Parker:

Did you see me walk that guy? God, I feel like I'm fucking up my one shot at this.

Parker:

I've been dreaming about this since I could walk and I'm starting to not care about any of it.

Six weeks after Buffalo:

Parker:

I get it, Del. If you really want me to leave you alone, I will. Just know that it's not what I want. I won't reach out again.

Parker:

I'm the starting pitcher tonight.

3 hours later

It was like I'd been walking through life with soundproof headphones on. I could feel vibrating bass under my fingertips, but the melody was lost to my ears. Being with Parker made the sun feel brighter. I was aware of every color in the sky. A switch that had been shut off long ago was suddenly flipped on. It was amazing and exciting and… terrifying.

I knew when I watched him board his flight to Seattle that it would be the last time I saw him for a while. I waited for my flight to board, knowing that the majors meant he didn't have time for a girlfriend, and that I needed to cut things off before I got hurt.

It was cowardly, I'd be the first to admit it. I rationalized by telling myself Parker would be sad, but he'd recover and navigate the new life headed his way. He could move on.

Me? It was probably already too late when he held up my favorite book that first night in Buffalo. Any deeper, any longer, and I'd be obliterated when it eventually fizzled out.

A clean slice healed faster than a jagged one. The ironic part was that he wasn't even surprised. I never planned on texting him back, but fate had other plans. Apparently she was a bitch who wanted her way and majorly pissed that I meddled with her plot.

I took a test before his game and promised myself I'd call him afterward if it was positive. Because what man wouldn't want to hear that he'd gotten his best friend pregnant, and his future was about to be derailed immediately after his first game as a starting pitcher in the majors?

The word on the blue and white stick was bold and clear as day. Pregnant.

I could do it. I could pick up the phone and call him. It was just Parker. My Parker. He loved me.

Del:

Parker, we need to talk. Please call me as soon as you get this. It's important.

I hit send and hoped for the best. Then my eyes darted back to the TV in my bedroom when I heard his name.

"Well, folks, we got a chance to speak with the star of tonight's game and learn a little more about him."

"What's your name, son? How have we not heard about you before?"

Parker's smile was shy and it didn't meet his eyes all the way. His dark curls were sweaty, matted down by his cap.

"Parker James, sir."

"Where have you been all this time? That was an amazing game you just played."

"Uh, Triple-A in Buffalo for the last two years playing with some really great athletes. But I'm excited to be here. This is… this has been my goal practically my whole life. I've watched Seattle games from those stands and on TV more times than I can count. This is everything."

"The city is lucky to have ya. Where are you from? Want to say hello to anyone special watching back home?"

"Roe. Roe, Iowa. Yeah, uh, hi Mom. That's what you say when you're on TV right?" His charm started to slip through the nervousness. "Dad and Holly too. Time for bed, kids," he said that last part in a deeper voice, like Danny Tanner in Full House.

The reporter laughed and looked at the camera. "Man, this never gets old. What ages are your kids?"

Parker's face filled with regret. "Oh, no. Sorry it was just a joke. No kids for me. I'm just starting out. I can't have anything tying me down."

The interview continued, but my ability to focus on the screen was long gone. He didn't want this. Especially now. I mean, at least it saved me a conversation.

My phone chimed with a new message. For a second my heart seized with anticipation, but it quickly went away when I saw it was from my agent.

Jenna-Agent: No pressure, but your book releases Monday. Have you started book three yet? Let's chat tomorrow about what you have planned.