Chapter Thirty-Three

As soon as I reformed in the Wraith Lord Citadel's arrival chamber, I doubled over and crumpled to the floor to sob. I couldn't stay there. I knew that. It was dangerous to linger in that chamber. And yet, I couldn't move. So violent was my sobbing, I couldn't control any of my muscles.

"What the fuck?" someone growled. Then, "Holy shit! Ember!"

Strong arms gathered me up and carried me out of the arrival chamber. I looked up to see a pair of pale green eyes staring at me, made all the brighter by the lord's deep, golden-brown skin. Dark hair, striped with gold highlights, was braided back to either side of his handsome face. A pair of full lips, blushed with pink, moved, but I couldn't hear his words.

I sniffed. "Death took him."

"Who, Ember?"

Other shouts came. Footsteps thudding.

"Ara. He's gone again. I almost freed him, but I failed." I laid my cheek on Lord Vexen's shoulder. "Vexen, he's gone."

"You . . . you know my name?"

"Of course, I know your name." I sniffed again. "Will you take me back? I have to get back."

"To the Corrupter?" Lord Vexen asked in horror.

"I promised I would free him." I clutched at Vexen's tunic. "Will you help me?"

"I will, but not right this minute, Ember."

"Why not?!"

"Well, for one thing, you're naked," General Ranor said.

"General!" I cried and stretched a hand toward him. "We have to go to the fortress!"

"Ember!" Xaedren's roar echoed through the entry hall.

"Xae?" I started to shiver. It was all catching up to me. Oh, fuck. I had cheated on them. "Xaedren." I started to sob, clutching at poor Lord Vexen.

"Shh," Vexen said. "It's all right. They still love you. That will never change."

I looked up and met his exotic stare. "I betrayed that love."

"I don't think they'll see it like that, Ember."

"Ember!" Xae yanked me out of Vexen's arms and clutched me close. "Oh, thank the Goddess. It's really you."

My other lovers pressed around us—Ratharin, Keltyr, and Taroc. Seeing Taroc reminded me of taking Ara to his secret place. Our secret place. Fuck. Now, the Corrupter knew about it. I started to cry again.

"Take him upstairs," General Ranor said. "I'll have some food sent up."

"Thank you, General," Rath said.

"Shh, I've got you, love," Xae said just before he faded us upstairs.

I was still crying when we arrived in our suite.

"Easy now," Xae said as he carried me to the couch. "You're safe. It's Xae. You're with me now."

"Xae, I did horrible things," I whispered.

"It's all right, Ember," Rath said and laid his palm on my bare back.

"Why are you naked?" Keltyr asked.

"Shut up!" Taroc hissed.

"Oh," Kel said hollowly. "Right. I guess you took the chance to escape when you had it."

"I almost bonded with him," I admitted.

"What?!" Xaedren growled.

"I'm so sorry!" I wailed.

"Goddess damn you, Xae!" Taroc took me from him. "Get him some clothes!"

While Xae, grumbling, went to fetch me some clothes, Taroc took his seat on the couch beside Rath. Keltyr settled on our right. All three of them curved in around me and laid their hands on me.

"It's all right," Kel said. "You got away."

"You're safe. That's all that matters," Rath said.

"So, you didn't bond with him?" Xae demanded as he returned with some clothes.

"We'd feel it if he had," Rath, ever the sane one, said. Then he kissed my cheek. "We know Death tricked you, Ember. We found your note in the hallway."

"Uh, your friend Caleb disappeared at the same time," Kel said. "Did Death hurt him? Taroc thought it was Caleb who tricked you somehow." His tone went irritated as he added, "We spent a lot of time trying to track down Caleb."

"Oh, fuck. Caleb," I whispered. "He's still there. I left him behind. Just like I left Ara."

"Who the fuck is Ara?" Xae demanded.

"I believe that's Aranren," Taroc said. "The Corrupter."

I reached up and stroked the blue scales at Taroc's temple. "I'm sorry. I took him to our special place."

"I know," he said. "It's all right. I'll find somewhere else for us. It's better to start fresh anyway. I should never have sullied you with that."

I started to cry again.

"Shh." Taroc wiped away my tears. "There was a sighting of the Corrupter in Myar, but he left without attacking anyone. Witnesses said he had a human with him. When I checked the apartment, I smelled you there. You and him."

"We didn't do anything there," I said.

"I know. I would have smelled that too."

"Oh, fuck." I covered my face with my hands. Then I swiped angrily at my face. Ara was back under Death's control, and there I was, falling apart. "He's not what we thought."

"Who?" Xae asked as he sat on the coffee table before me. He handed me the clothes. "Get dressed. You're shivering."

Taroc helped me into my tunic, then I stood up to pull on my pants. I wanted to go back into Taroc's arms, but I knew it would only start me crying again. So I stepped back and faced them all.

"Aranren was tricked as I was. Except I was more of an idiot," I said. "I was warned several times, even by the Goddess herself, and Death still outsmarted me."

"You're not an idiot for trusting Death," Rath said. "He did a lot for you."

"He made it look as if he did," I corrected. "And I didn't trust Death. I thought I was smarter than him. I thought I could prove his intentions. So, I tested him. Every morning, I got up early to train with him on the roof."

"You did what?!" Xae growled.

"I wanted to know once and for all, if I could trust Death," I said. "I thought if I made him believe that I did trust him, he would reveal himself. But he used our training sessions to sneak deeper and deeper into me, wearing me away. All those mood swings were his doing. I'm so sorry."

"Ember, forget all that," Rath said. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does. I need you to know that I wasn't myself when I said those terrible things."

"We know, Ember," Xae said. "We knew it as soon as you said them."

"Thank you." I sighed. "Death primed me. Everything he did was to lure me to him. Make me think I was stronger and smarter than him. That I was safe. When I got the last letter—"

"What letter?" Kel asked.

"From his admirer," Rath said. "Go on, Ember."

"He said that I didn't see him. It was his final letter. I was so upset that when Death offered to help me discover who my admirer was, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to test him. I even took precautions. I wrote that note and kept it in my fist, then I prayed . . . to . . ." I trailed off.

"You prayed to the Goddess?" Kel asked.

"Holy shit," I whispered. "My heart will never lead me wrong. I worked it out while Death had me, but I still didn't understand the whole of it."

"What's happening?" Xae asked the others.

"I believe he's figuring out why he had to be taken," Rath said softly.

"Had to be?" Xae growled. "That did not have to happen."

"I think it did," I said, looking at Rath. "When I prayed to the Goddess, I felt a shimmer of approval. Her guidance. Her love. I knew I was doing the right thing. But as soon as I let Death in and dropped my wards, he consumed me. He took control of my body and sent me to Caleb."

"Caleb?" Taroc frowned. Then he blinked. "Holy fuck!"

"Yes, you were right about him. Just not in the way you thought. Caleb wasn't always Caleb. He was corrupted in a unique way. More possession than corruption. When we found him, he was himself, but the Corrupter had his hooks in him. It was too subtle for us to notice, even for Caleb to notice. Though he did eventually. He even tried to tell me a few times, but the Corrupter always took control before he did."

"Are you saying the Corrupter was in Caleb?" Xae asked. "Not just his magic. Him ."

"Yes. That's how he knew where we'd be. What we were planning. The Corrupter didn't just have a spy here. He was here. Caleb was a vessel for the Corrupter to use. When I went to Caleb that morning, he was the Corrupter, and the Corrupter took me to his fortress."

"You said the Corrupter was a victim like you," Rath said. "Tell us what you discovered, Ember."

"He . . ." my hand went to the pendant. Not my Wraith Lord pendant, but the one Ara had given me. A tear trickled down my cheek. "The Corrupter is Death. Aranren was the victim. He's been suffering for so long. Alone. Imprisoned in his own body."

Xaedren grunted—a sound of disbelief.

"I know, Xae," I said. "It's hard to understand. Harder even to accept. But I just went through something very similar to what Aranren did. So, I know it's not an act. He was tricked too. Death took Ara, and when he tries to fight, Death closes the noose even tighter and turns him into the Corrupter. To survive, he learned how to manipulate Death. He pretended to be Death's partner. Eventually, Death allowed Ara's soul to surface, giving him small reprieves. When I arrived, fully under Death's control, it was Ara who convinced Death to give me back a portion of myself. And when Death withdrew his control, Ara and I were able to talk freely. I met the real Aranren, and I was shocked to discover how gentle he is, how caring."

"Caring?" Xae's eyes narrowed. "The Corrupter."

"No, not the Corrupter!" I slashed my hand down. "Aren't you listening? The Corrupter is one of the Corrupted. Death taints him, twisting his thoughts until they're vile." I shuddered and rubbed my arms. "He did the same to me. The things I thought while Death was in me will forever haunt me. All my softer emotions were repressed. I felt only greed and lust. I had no loyalty in me, not even for Death or the Corrupter." I lifted my chin. "That's where Death fucked up. He doesn't understand that without love, there can be no true loyalty. I plotted against him even when I was under his influence. Especially then."

"He made you into another Corrupter," Rath whispered.

"Yes. Just as the Goddess warned me," I said. "It's how I know exactly what happened to Aranren. It's how I knew when he was himself. Ara never wanted any of this. He's a good man. Kinder than me. The war is Death's doing, not Aranren's. He is either consumed by Death, doing Death's bidding as the Corrupter, or he is suffering alone as Aranren, surrounded by the evidence of the terrible things he's done as the Corrupter."

"That's all real sad, Ember," Keltyr said. "I believe you, and I sympathize for him, truly, I do. But it doesn't change the fact that the Corrupter is our enemy. Whether he is being controlled or not, he is the weapon that hurts our world."

"He's a weapon in Death's hands," I said fervently. "We need to disarm Death and free Aranren."

"That may not be possible."

"We have to try. I promised him I would never stop trying."

"Ember," Rath said gently.

"No!" I growled. "You love me, so you owe him, Rath! All of you owe him. He saved me. Aranren is why I'm here. He's how I got free."

The men exchanged a hard look.

I started again, "Aranren has been thwarting Death's plans as much as possible. He fails on purpose and draws out the experiments. I think he gave Jath that pendant so he could escape with me. Aranren has been so successful at failing that Death began to doubt that they could win the war. So when he learned about me, he knew the only way he could win the war was with me on his side. If I bonded with the Corrupter, he'd have my power and I would magnify the Corrupter's."

Xae and Taroc let out low growls.

"He filled the Corrupter with lust for me. But Aranren told Death that he wanted something real. He convinced Death to give us a chance to fall in love naturally."

"That doesn't sound like saving you," Taroc said in a deadly tone.

"Damn it all!" I growled. "You don't understand what it's like to have your mind turned dark. To have all the goodness inside you caged in bones. Ara did what he could for me. Even before I was taken, he paved a better path. He manipulated Death into giving me back pieces of myself." I shook my head and let out a harsh breath. "When I arrived at the fortress, I wasn't Ember anymore. I was Death's Ember. I looked at the Corrupter and saw only beauty. I lusted after him. I would have done anything for him. And the Corrupter was just as obsessed with me. But Aranren fought his way through that darkness and surfaced long enough to remind Death of his promise. He saved me from rape." I made a sound that was half sob and half sigh. "I guess it would have been rape for both of us."

Kel snorted. "So, he was fine with capturing you, just not fucking you under Death's influence."

"Kel, please," I said. "I know this is rough on all of you, but it's important that you hear me out. It's important to the war, not just me."

Keltyr sighed and shared another look with the other men. "All right. Go on, Ember."

"Aranren demanded that Death release me," I said. "And he did. Not fully, but enough that I knew what was happening, and that I wasn't in love with the Corrupter. It's because of Ara that we were given moments of partial awareness—times when we got to feel a little like our true selves. That's when we got to know each other, and I saw the real Aranren. He told me what happened to him, how he was deceived and became Death's prisoner. We became friends, and we started to plan our escape."

"You planned with the Corrupter to escape the Corrupter?" Xae asked.

"No, Xae. Aranren and I planned to escape Death ." I sighed. "But I think it was more about my escape than his. Ara didn't have much hope for himself. I tried to motivate him, and I think I even succeeded a little, but he was always preparing me to escape on my own." My hand went to his pendant. "He gave me this right before our deception was discovered. It's a charm to get through his wards."

"Like the one he gave Jathalion," Rath said and leaned in to peer at the crystal. "Do you think it still works?"

"I think it might. He made it when he was himself and he gave it to me before Death took him."

"What does that mean?" Taroc asked.

I ran a hand over my face. "We were talking. Aranren, he, he was crying. He . . ." I sniffed back the tears. "We had been talking about Death training me. He made me kill a tree and the horror of it broke through his hold on me. Just a little, but enough that when he withdrew, more of me returned than was usual. I told Ara about it, that it was something to give us hope, but he . . . he didn't think there was hope for him because he had never broken through as I had. He believed he'd been under Death's control for too long."

"He's probably right," Keltyr muttered.

I went on, ignoring Kel, "Aranren tried to kill himself several times."

Keltyr blinked. "What?"

"He kept trying, but Death brought him back every time. That's when Aranren learned that the only way for him to die is through beheading."

"Kinda hard to cut your own head off," Xae muttered.

"Exactly," I whispered. Then, in a stronger voice, I said, "He was upset, and I comforted him. Then he urged me to keep fighting, to keep feeling the horror and using it to regain more of myself. He pressed the pendant into my hand, but that's when Death returned. He heard what Ara said. Death went wild and took us both. Completely. Ara never got the chance to tell me what the pendant was for. I thought it was just a gift. I wore it, never knowing that it could get me through the ward. Not until today, when I freed Ara."

"Hold on, you freed him?" Taroc asked.

"Briefly," I said. "First, he helped me free myself." I met their grim stares. "With love. I used our love to empower Spirit, and it freed me. It freed me, then blasted through Ara and freed him. I knew if I could just bind him in our love, draw him into our union, that his connection to my Spirit Magic would protect him from Death. But Death must have sensed what we were doing. He returned just as I sent my wraith forth and blocked it. Then he reclaimed Aranren."

"So, binding Aranren to you would have ended the war?" Rath whispered.

"I believe it would have," I said hollowly. "But Death was too quick. He formed a wall of shadows between us. I couldn't get through. Ara shouted at me—" I cleared my throat and started again, "He told me to fade. He shouted, 'The pendant,' and I knew he had given me a way through the ward. He was telling me he loved me when Death took him. He never got to finish. Still, I refused to leave without him. I was ready to fight. To help him fight. But then the shadows vanished, and I saw him. The Corrupter. I knew there was no reaching him at that point. I had to leave so I could come back and try again. So, I swore to him that I'd return. I told him not to lose hope. Then I left him," my voice broke as I bent forward and covered my face, a little ashamed to cry for Ara in front of the other men I loved. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Taroc pulled me into an embrace. "You aren't to blame for what happened. Don't cry, love."

I pushed away from him. "But I haven't told you everything yet. I haven't told you what Death made us do. He was trying to make us fall in love so that I would bond with Ara. He—"

"We know, Ember," Taroc interrupted.

Xaedren growled and hung his head.

I looked at Kel, then Rath. "You saw me kiss him."

"Yes," Rath said. "We assumed there was more to it."

"There was, but we never bonded because I didn't truly love him. Not until I was back to being me."

"You only think you love him," Xae said. "You're confused because of everything Death made you do."

"No, Xae. I'm not confused about the way I feel. I love Aranren. I told you, I freed him with my love. I was about to bond with him. I was seconds away from it, my wraith had already left my body when Death blocked it. And I couldn't have done that if I didn't—"

"All right." Rath held up his hand. "We understand, Ember."

"Fuck," Keltyr muttered.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to fall in love. But I think I was meant to. I kept hearing the Goddess in my mind, even when Death had me."

"What did she say?" Taroc asked, his expression resolute.

"She said that my heart would never lead me wrong."

"Right," Xae muttered. "That."

"I betrayed you." I squared my shoulders. "You have every right to be furious with me. I'm so sorry."

"Ember, we're not mad at you," Rath said.

"We're mad at him," Xae added.

"I just told you that Ara isn't at fault."

"Not Aranren. Death," Taroc said. "Despite the outbursts from some of us." He paused to look at Kel and Xae. "We have heard you. We believe you about Aranren. You are the proof, love. You experienced what he has gone through. But this means that we've been fighting this war all wrong." He looked at the other men. "Ember can end the war by conquering the Corrupter, but not in the way we thought. He needs to free Aranren. Take away Death's weapon. Without Aranren, there is no Corrupter. And the Corrupter is Death's door to our world. Remove it, and he cannot enter."

I gaped at Taroc, then at the others as they slowly nodded.

"We should attack the fortress as soon as possible," Rath said.

Xae stood up and said, "I'll speak to Ranor."

"Wait," I said. "Truly? You want me to bond with him?"

"Ember, we bonded with you through love, but we did it to end the war," Rath said. "If one more bond is what's needed, then it must be done."

"Even if it's with Aranren?"

"At least we'll know he'll be the last," Keltyr said and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked Kel as Xaedren faded to find General Ranor.

"To armor up." He cocked his head. "Unless you need to rest?"

I lifted my chin. "I'll meet you downstairs."