Chapter Twenty-Two

That night, Aranren and I informed Death that we would be needing the night alone again. He gladly, and maybe a bit smugly, gave us the privacy we demanded. Of course, it wasn't to have sex. We sat before Ara's fire, sipping hot chocolate laced with a mellow alcohol from Ruva, and discussed our escape.

"We can do this," I said eagerly. "You heard him. Death said that our wills are the strongest magic of all. We just need to reassert our willpower."

"Don't you think I've been trying to do that?" Aranren said with far less enthusiasm. "I've secretly fought him from the moment he took me. Every time he uses me to kill or hurt, it—" He broke off and shook his head, swallowing roughly.

"Maybe it's keeping your fight secret that has failed you."

"What do you mean?"

"We need to revive our wills," I said as I leaned forward. "We're not going to do that subtly. We need to dig deep into ourselves, find the strength, and fight him with all we have."

Aranren stared down into his mug.

"Ara, we can do this."

He looked up at me with a resolute expression. "All right. I'm willing to try anything. But first, I think we should practice. We must use these moments he gives us to meditate and search ourselves. We won't be able to fight him if we can't reach our will to do so."

"I agree." I set my mug aside and slid onto the rug. "Let's start now."

Ara's expression faltered. "I'm not sure how to do this."

"I once fought you in our minds," I said. "I saw the real you then. It was the first time that I realized you were not entirely in control."

"What did you see?" he whispered as he slid gracefully off his chair and onto the rug, his silk robes settling around him like water.

"A skeleton covered you. Well, not a normal skeleton. It was like skeletal armor. Bones formed a cage around you. A massive skull over your head. Gauntlets over your hands. The bones were everywhere. I see it even outside our minds sometimes when you use his magic."

"Death," Ara whispered.

"Yes. I've seen it upon myself as well. He has our true selves caged. We have to slip past the bones. I think we can train for it in our minds."

"But when you saw me, I used Death Magic to pull you into my mind," he said.

"I don't think Death is the only magic that can bond minds like that. I did it once with Ratharin when I was learning to use Spirit." I held out my hands. "And I still have access to Spirit."

Aranren didn't take my offered hands. "Are you sure you can connect with Spirit? Spirit is what protected you from Death. When he was teaching you, I believe he did something to your link to Spirit. That's why Death used your power to unite magic. He needed to weaken you. He needed to cut you off from Spirit. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been vulnerable."

"But if he hasn't, if I still have access to Spirit, it could help to free us."

"Ember, you've tried to free me with Spirit before. It didn't work."

"That was without you helping me." I took his hands. "With Death withdrawn and you on my side, it might be enough."

Ara nodded, but he didn't look hopeful.

I closed my eyes and reached for Spirit. And reached. I pictured the Goddess and silently prayed for her help. That's when a glimmer shone within the darkness inside me. A pinprick of light. Tiny, but it was there. I dove for it.

But the deeper I went, the further it went. Always out of my reach. I finally opened my eyes with a curse.

Ara let go of my hands. "It's all right, Ember. We'll find another way."

"No. It's there, Ara. I prayed to the Goddess, and a tiny light appeared. I just couldn't reach it."

"Do you really think the Goddess answered you or could it have been your imagination?"

"You and I know the difference between magic and illusion," I said gently. "That was her magic. It's still in me. It's just buried deep, probably with the true me. Once I can reach myself, I can reach Spirit. And then, I can free us."

"I hope you're right," Ara said. "But what do we do until then?"

"We both try to reach our true selves." I took his hands again. "We've got all night. Let's go digging."

Ara, my new friend, nodded and squared his shoulders. "Let's go digging for ourselves."