CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

JAMESON

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There’s a lot I regret. Murdering my brother is third on the list.

Not that I would ever tell anyone. Even Clem wouldn’t understand and she’s the sweetest person I know.

I stare at the phone in my hand. The screen blank. My own reflection judging me from the cold plastic.

“My ... my name is Mira Celestino. I’ve been kidnapped. I’m in a hunting lodge.”

Fuck.

I lift my gaze to where my sister is leading the search party for the girl I just hung up on. She’s bundled in a wool coat and a soft, green scarf. She’s got the whole town gathered on the edge of the woods, creating grids and buddying people up to look for a girl in the complete opposite direction.

The MacAllister boys are standing nearby, not too close, but close enough to hear Lucy’s directions.

Stupid fools.

All of them.

Us.

Even me for believing...

There’s a sickness in the Carr blood. I think it came from Dad. There was always something behind his mask that mirrored the look on Wyatt’s face when he’d shove Lucy down the stairs just to see her cry. The same look on Boyd’s face when he’d rip the wings off a butterfly. The same look on Dirk’s face when he’d so happen to find the neighbor’s cat dead, little body broken.

Lucy has always been better at hiding it. She, unlike the others, can almost pass for normal. She knows how to blend and adapt. To mimic normal human behavior.

Like Dad.

But there’s nothing behind their eyes.

No light.

No soul , as Mom had whispered once. Only once. With a tremor in her voice before she’d pressed her lips together.

I don’t think I’m like them. I never liked hurting small creatures. I have never raised my hand to Clem. Never would. But the seed is there, growing and planting roots. It’s why I made damn sure I ended the Carr name with me. A week after Wyatt’s death, I booked my appointment and got it sealed shut. Never told a soul. Not even Clem. Can’t. She wants babies. She’s good with them, too. She’d have made an amazing mama. But I can’t and I can’t tell her just how rotten my seed is ‘cuz she might leave, and I’d die without her.

I pocket my phone and watch the brothers.

The reason everything bad happened in my life.

No. That’s not true. They’d always been bad. Got worse the older we got. Dad got heavy handed with the sermons. With Mom. Started filling Wyatt’s head that it was his job to make sure his sister stayed pure for God, and Wyatt loved his job.

He’d beat Lucy to an inch of her life, but never left a mark. It was almost an art performance to see how far he could torture her before she broke. He thrived on her pain.

And Lucy ... Lucy opened her legs for anyone who would have her. The whole town. Married or not. And every Sunday, she was in the front pew, head bowed, with a bow in her hair and buttoned up to the neck.

The day Dad caught her with those boys, the world tilted a little on its axel. Wyatt lost his mind. Nearly killed Lucy because he beat her so bad. And Dad just stood there with his book folded against his bony chest and his solemn expression and watched. I had to step in. I had to pull Wyatt off her.

“Tell me they forced you! Tell me you didn’t want the vile things they did to you!” he kept screaming over her wails.

Lucy did. She told him exactly what he wanted to hear, and he ran with it.

They forced her. They made her do the things she was caught doing.

By then, the whole town had heard about her disgrace. The widely known secret was hanging on the proverbial clothing line for all to see and Dad had to do God’s work by reminding the town that even the strongest can be led into temptation. Lucy, sweet, pure, adored Lucy was forced by the devil to commit unholy acts.

The devils being the MacAllister brothers.

The boys who lost their mother in a disgraceful and shameful manner. The outcast who did drugs and his brother committing vile acts together under the eyes of God.

Wyatt would not stand for it.

They ruined his little sister.

They had to be stopped.

“James?”

I blink out of my chasm of memories to face my sister’s angelic expression. The perfectly crafted mask.

How did she not suffocate behind there?

“Are you going to help?” she asks, holding out a map of the surrounding forest.

I stare at it. Then at her.

“Where’s Dirk and Boyd?” I ask her.

Lucy doesn’t even bat an eye. “Probably doing their own thing. You know how they are.” She waves the paper at me. “Come on. We only have a little daylight left.”

I accept the page and stare down at the neat blocks indicating each person’s search area.

“Why did you send them to track the girl down the other day?”

Lucy does blink then, but I know it’s for show; I’ve seen her go almost twenty minutes without blinking. “I didn’t. Why would I?”

“I was going to the hardware store and they suddenly needed to come with me. They never just want to come with me to run garage errands.”

“Maybe they wanted to spend time with you.”

I suck in my sigh. “Lucy, they said you sent them to find her.”

Her brows scrunch in baffled amusement. “Well, they were probably confused. I barely knew this girl existed up until very recently and, really, James, do you hear how crazy you sound? Why would I even want to hurt her?”

I step closer to my sister and lower my voice. “Let it go. Whatever the hell you’re doing, let it go. Dad’s dead. Mom’s so doped up on drugs she doesn’t even know her own name and the town is finally at peace. Let it go. Or I swear to God, Lucy, I’ll—”

The mask slips for only a fraction, but I see the cold hatred right behind it. “You’ll what? What’ll you do, big brother? Are you really going to disrupt your perfect little life with your airhead wife just to rat on your own sister? Go ahead, call the sheriff over. Tell him you think you know something. See how that turns out for you and Clammy.”

My muscles tense as the weight of her threat drops on my chest.

“You touch her and there isn’t a place on earth you’ll be safe,” I warn her.

Lucy smiles, bright and beautiful, and full of love I know she doesn’t know how to feel. “Don’t be silly. She’s like a sister to me.” She pats my arm lightly. “I would never let anything happen to her.”

With that, she pivots on her heels and marches back to where the others stand. Where Clem stands, dark head bent over the map. She saddles right up to my wife and hooks an arm through hers.

Clem visibly starts. Her big eyes swing up to Lucy’s smiling face. She seems uncertain, but Clem has always wanted to get closer to Lucy. To bond. My sweet baby has no idea she’s bleeding next to a shark. She only thinks the shark is trying to be friendly. She smiles warmly in return and it breaks my heart.

My gaze drifts to the brothers. To the worry and panic in their eyes. They have no idea how warranted it is. I’ve seen the tiny graves behind the house of all the missing town pets.

And it’s already been too many hours.

“She’s innocent,” Daniel’s words play through my head.

Part of me disagrees. She put her damn hands on my Clem. Hurt her. I almost have half a mind to let her get hers, but the crime doesn’t fit this kind of justice. No one deserves this. Innocent or not.

Wyatt hadn’t been innocent, but his blood is on my hands. I can look the world in the eyes and say it was an accident. It was dark. I thought it was the brothers I was clobbering with all my strength. That I didn’t hear my name being screamed. That I didn’t hear the brothers slip into the bushes and escape.

I can pretend I didn’t mean to kill my brother that night.

But in the mirror, in bed, in my sleep, I know better. I saw a side of Wyatt that night I knew needed to be stopped.

I look to where Lucy’s helping Clem adjust the collar of her coat. Sliding her long, pale fingers around my wife’s throat and turning the edges down. Her green eyes on me over Clem’s shoulder.

Cold.

Dead.

Yet somehow strangely alive like a pit of writhing snakes.

I suck in a breath.

The page in my hand crumples into a ball and drops to the dirt at my feet. I see the smirk slip off my sister’s face.

“Clem, come here,” I shout over the low hum of chatter.

Clem’s head pops up, her expression bemused, but she starts towards me. Barely two steps when her arm is caught.

“We’re busy right now,” Lucy says, sounding amused like I’m being ridiculous. “We have to find Mira.”

“Clem, now.”

She says something to Lucy and shakes the talons from her arm.

I know Lucy won’t do anything with so many people around to see it, but my first and only concern is getting Clem to safety.

“Baby, you okay?” Clem hurries to me.

I reach into my pocket and pull out my key. I press them into her palm.

“Go home. Don’t argue,” I cut her off when she opens her mouth. “Home. Straight home, understand?”

She nods, her eyes wide with confusion. “What are you—?”

I kiss her brow. “I’ll explain everything when I get back. I promise. Lock the doors.”

I can see the questions swirling around inside her pretty head, but she’s a good girl. My good girl. She’s not perfect, lord knows, but who is? She’s perfect for me and that’s all that matters.

My girl listens. She hurries to the truck and climbs in.

I wait until the taillights are bobbing out of sight before turning to destroy what’s left of the Carr name.

“You’re all looking in the wrong place,” I announce loudly.