33. The End of What We Once Had

Chapter 33

The End of What We Once Had

G rizz

I was going crazy, staring at the white walls in the waiting room. I'd begged to sit with her, even though she wasn't awake, but they had denied my request. When I pressed for an explanation, they just turned their backs on me and walked away. They rejected every plea I made, and I didn't have Pretty's charm to sway them. I even considered texting him to work his magic, but I didn't want to pull him away from the baby.

Desperate, I approached the older woman in the volunteer jacket, pleading for any information. She glanced at me, wished me well on my new marriage, and then returned to whatever the fuck she was doing. I couldn't understand why no one would tell me anything. I was her husband, for fuck's sake.

I tried to keep my temper in check. They were looking for any excuse to throw me out, and I wouldn't voluntarily give them one. The thought of being separated from Meredith made my blood boil, but I knew I had to stay calm. If they tried to force me out, I'd probably tear this damn waiting room apart and ask questions later. The only concession they made was letting me stay with her when they had transferred her to a private room, still unconscious.

Scrub wasn't her primary doctor, but he told me to just play along, and he'd help clarify things as more details became available. It was a good thing he'd said that to me because the doctor who visited every day was a tool. He was young, and I refrained from asking him if he was sure he was a doctor, since he looked twelve. His white medical coat was three sizes too big, and the drawstring of his scrub pants hung to his knees. He didn't introduce himself to me, nor did he try to talk to me about the situation. Dr. Creepo just kept running his fingers through his side-swept hair.

The first couple of days, Dr. Creepo had visited Meredith once in the morning and once at night. I might have believed him if he had been checking for activity behind her eyelids or performing another similar test. However, I quickly realized that he only wanted to get in her pants when he had rearranged the blankets to touch her legs. He wasn't looking for reflexes, and I was afraid to leave her, fearing he'd sneak in to take advantage. She was mine, and I'd kill him if I found him trying to touch her again.

Dr. Creepo told me it could take a few days for her to wake. They'd taken her off the sedatives, and now it was up to her. As night turned into day three, things weren't looking good. I didn't have to be a doctor to know that they were worried. The longer it took Meredith to wake, the more she might suffer long-term effects. I tried to force Dr. Creepo to just be honest with me. He gave me some song and dance about how things take time. I didn't know who he thought he was talking to because I understood her more than he did.

***

I'd been standing at my bike, preparing to ride, when Grace had approached me.

"Thank you for going. You'll make sure no harm comes to her, and I'll feel better when I know she's safe," Grace had said to me. She had placed her hand on my forearm so that I couldn't turn away from her.

"Why the fuck does she do this shit? She should have never told Brandon she'd meet him," I'd vented. Grace was the one person who would understand.

"I am not sure what she's thinking right now, but you know Meredith marches to her own drummer. You can't rush her if you expect her to listen to you. She does things on her own time," she'd said right before I'd left to interrupt Brandon's invitation.

"I know, but she has to learn that the world doesn't revolve around her," I had grumbled. Who the fuck was I kidding? My world revolved around her, and I didn't want anyone else in that bubble.

***

Meredith

Beep.

Snore.

Beep.

What was that incessant beeping noise? My eyes felt heavy, as if someone had glued them shut. I struggled to raise my hand, thinking I could rub them open, but it was no use. Every sound was muffled, as if I was underwater, and my body felt as if there was a thousand-pound weight pinning me down. I tried to fight my way to the surface, but I wasn't strong enough. Every time I thought I was close, the weight would suck me further into the deep.

"Baby, I am here. I haven't left, but I need you to wake up. I don't even care if you throw a fit. Wake up for me."

Grizz was here. He would make it alright. I felt my body sink back further into the dark abyss.

***

Beep.

The beeping was back, or maybe it had never left, I wasn't sure. I felt lifeless, adrift in a sea of despair. I floated to the pitch-black surface and laughed, a hollow sound echoing off the empty chambers of my heart. The sound was more of a cackle than anything else .

"Baby, you're scaring me. I need you to wake up. I don't know if you're trying, but you can't leave me. Therapy, whatever you need, we're going to make this work. I need you too badly."

Grizz's words were a lifeline, pulling me towards consciousness. His voice wavered, thick with emotion. I wanted to reach out, to tell him I was trying, but the darkness was so strong, and I felt so weak. I needed him, too. Otherwise, I wasn't sure I would survive this.

Beep.

***

Snore.

Who the fuck was snoring? Didn't they know I needed my beauty sleep, for fuck's sake? I had to go home, shower, and then try to get my job back. I didn't know what day it was, but I hadn't been there since Monday. They'd probably fired me for abandoning it. Fuck!

Snore.

I wasn't dealing with this shit. Grizz needed to shut the fuck up, or I'd stick cotton balls up his nose. I wouldn't care if they suffocated him, as long as the noise stopped. This better have been a onetime deal, or he wasn't sleeping in my bed. I didn't care how much he begged, or how good the makeup sex was going to be. Shit. What if it was fantastic? I could picture myself whispering promises into his ear that he'd make me fulfill.

"Shut...fuck…"

"Baby? Mer?"

"Too…loud. Shut...up."

"Yeah, baby. I am too loud. You tell me."

I tried to open my eyes, but they remained glued shut. This was fucking annoying. I needed to open my eyes and get on with my life. I needed to go home, check my bills, and make sure that I wasn't losing everything I'd worked hard to build. There was no room for error. I tried again to raise my hand to rub at my eyes, but I barely picked my palm up off the sheet before it fell back on its own. There was moisture on my cheek. It rolled down the curve and fell into the pillow, but I was getting aggravated that I couldn't just wipe whatever it was away.

"Mer, you're almost there. Just a little more, baby."

I felt a kiss on my forehead. He'd make it better, if only I could tell him what was wrong.

"Gri...zz"

"Yeah, baby? What do you need?"

"You."

***

Grizz

"Mer, it's time. Baby, I know you like your sleep, but enough is enough," I said to her, squeezing her hand. "What's it going to take to bribe you? A beach house?" I wouldn't let her go back to her condo, and I was afraid if I told her, she'd never wake up, just to spite me. "Breakfast in bed?" Hospital food would have to do, but I doubted she'd eat. "New furniture, like you talked about?" I'd buy her whatever she wanted. "Come on, Tef."

Her eyelids fluttered, and she cracked them, revealing her brown eyes.

"Hate..."

"Yeah, you do." I wanted to drop my head to the edge of the bed, letting my forehead touch the hand I was squeezing.

"Don't call..."

"There you are. Can you open your eyes a little wider for me? Let me see my beautiful brown-eyed girl." I tried to hold back my sobs, but I was gasping.

She was awake, but she closed her eyes and barely shook her head. An overwhelming sense of relief washed over me. She'd turned the corner, and no matter what happened, she'd heal. Meredith wouldn't leave me.

She opened her eyes completely, blinking a few times. "Too...bright," she said, closing them again.

"Give me a sec, and I'll turn the lights off." I let go of her hand and rushed over to the switch, flipping it off. "Better?" I asked her.

She nodded, her eyes fully open.

Pouring her a glass of water, I offered her the straw to sip. I didn't trust Dr. Creepo, so I'd have to text Scrub soon to come check on her. I was in conspiracy mode, and in my mind, Dr. Creepo worked for the cartel. Who the fuck knew if that was true, but I wasn't taking any chances, and he hadn't been paying close enough attention to her medical status.

"Better," she said. "My throat was dry." She scrunched her nose."Feel nasty."

I wiggled my eyebrows at her. "I'll scrub your back."

"I bet you would. Settle down, horn dog." A dry chuckle escaped her lips.

The sound was music to my ears. "How do you feel?"

"Hurt. Everywhere." She coughed. "Not in the dark abyss. It was scary there without you."

***

"Look who's awake," Dr. Creepo said as he walked through the doorway, pausing at the hand sanitizer. I understood the importance of cleanliness, but he would not get close enough to touch her, so there was no point in trying to kill us with the stench. It was only a matter of time before Scrub overruled Dr. Creepo. I'd already texted him to get his scrawny ass up here.

"Hello," Meredith whispered.

"How do you feel?" he asked her, licking his bottom lip. What the fuck did he think was going to happen? I was sitting right here, and she was mine. He wasn't shooting his shot. I'd throw him out before he even got a chance.

"I don't know," she said, looking at me.

I didn't know if he was giving her weird vibes or if I was being too sensitive, but I hated this doctor. He needed to go. As I stood from my chair to show him the way out, Scrub walked in. He took one look at Meredith, and his smile widened. Scrub was genuinely glad that she was awake.

"Hey, I can take this from here. I was told the emergency room was going to get a flood of patients from a car accident, so that's why they allowed me to visit now. Why don't you head down and prep? This will only take a minute."

I loved Scrub.

"Yeah, whatever," Dr. Creepo said, hightailing it back out of the room.

"Is there a car accident?" I asked Scrub.

He shrugged and sat in the recliner on the opposite side of Meredith, positioning himself to see both of us. "Somewhere there might be. I didn't like the way he was acting, and you looked like you were going to physically escort him out of the room."

"I would never," I said, my hand flying to my forehead in exaggeration. Scrub flipped me off, and Meredith gasped.

"Dr. Matthews over there isn't as wholesome as he appears. Scrub is one of my club brothers, so that should fill in all the blanks," I said to Meredith.

"Oh, good. I was afraid they'd kick you out for being rude," she rasped. A look of relief came over her face.

"I'm not going anywhere, wifey." I smiled at her, knowing she didn't have a clue of what I'd done.

"We're not married," she said, her face scrunched up like she was deep in thought. She turned towards Scrub. "The baby. Tell me about the baby," she begged him.

"That's why Grizz texted me to come up and see you," Scrub jumped in. "He's been waiting for you, so that you could receive the news together. Did you go to an obstetrician, Meredith?"

"Yes, I went to Dr. Vargas, the same one that Grace went to. She told me everything looked good." She looked at me. "I meant to tell you before you found out, but it was the weekend that Grace moved out. It was the last thing on everyone's mind."

I reached for her hand, mindful of the moisturizing glove she wore. She couldn't bend her fingers, but she didn't pull away from me.

"Did you have an ultrasound or anything that showed you the baby?" Scrub asked. His face was a blank canvas, but his eyes danced. This wasn't good, and he was gathering the facts before dropping us with the bomb.

"I don't think so. She said that I wasn't ready for an ultrasound but what she heard was good. The baby had a strong heart." Meredith was picking up on Scrub's cues. Her eyes watered.

"I don't know how to tell you this, so I am going to go with clinical first, and then as your friend." Scrub turned and faced Meredith head on. "You had what's called an ectopic pregnancy. It's when you have a fertilized egg, but it never implants into your uterus to grow. When they did your triage from the car, they found it in your fallopian tube. Based on the size, it'd been there awhile, and you were very lucky. It was so large that if it had grown just a few inches more, it would have burst your tube. They removed the mass surgically, and you still have full function to reproduce." Scrub shot me a look over the bed. I wasn't sure if he was looking for me to explode.

"The mass? I lost the baby?" Meredith looked in between us, the confusion written all over her face.

"No. You were pregnant, but it would have never developed into a baby. You would have eventually had the same procedure, but Vargas should have caught it sooner, not later." Scrub tried to reach for her other hand, but she pulled it back towards her, and he let it go.

"There's more, but this is from the accident," Scrub continued. "No broken bones. The only injury you incurred is a sprained knee. We have it in a brace, but as soon as you see an orthopedic, I am sure they'll remove it. If you had a concussion, there's no lasting damage. Your body just took a little longer to push you back to the surface. It's like it knew how long you needed to heal." Scrub ran his hand through his hair and shifted in his chair so that one leg crossed over his knee.

"You're probably wondering about the glove," he said to Mer. "The only major injury that you sustained from the accident was a severe case of road rash. You weren't wearing any protective gear, so your skin took the brunt end when you hit the road. There are certain areas where the surgical team could graph skin from your legs to cover what you were missing. However, they are putting salve on it to help it heal faster. You'll have to wear protective covering on that side of your body until the skin hardens and you don't have any pain. It could scar, though, and it runs the length of your left side."

"How long is that going to take?" Meredith tilted her head back, looking at the ceiling.

"It could be a year or more. They'll send you home with lotion that you will have to apply daily. You may end up wearing the coverings just because it feels better that way, forever." Scrub shifted in his chair, not sure how she'd react.

"No baby? Scars? I jumped from the car for nothing?" The tears flowed down her cheeks like two rivers.

"Meredith, you're alive, and that outweighs everything else," I told her. I couldn't handle losing her.