10. Words are Hard

Harlow's eyes snapped open at a sound. He stared into the dark room, body tense as he listened. A whimper drew his gaze to the left corner of the bedroom. He was getting up before his brain even fully recognized what he was seeing—Foxx cowering on the floor.

The man was balled up tight in the corner, head down, arms around his knees. There was a noticeable tremble running through his compact body.

The floor had definitely not been where Harlow had put the passed-out vampire after cleaning the cum out and off of the man following their sex marathon.

"Foxx," Harlow rasped softly, slowly approaching the vampire.

The man didn't look up or react to his name.

Harlow grimaced when his knees cracked upon crouching down. "Foxx…" Harlow reached out. The moment his hand touched Foxx, the vampire reared back with a frightened cry, the man plastering himself against the wall. Chest heaving up and down, Foxx stared with tear-filled eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

Harlow held his hands out, trying to show that he was…harmless, he guessed, while Foxx continued to stare at him like he was his worst nightmare come to life. He remained that way as the seconds ticked by, Foxx's breathing not getting any slower. Harlow was beginning to think that maybe Foxx wasn't awake…

"Foxx, it's Harlow. I'm not going to hurt you," he said slowly.

Foxx blinked, and more tears fell, before a large shudder ran through the vampire. His face crumbled further as a sob slipped out. "H-Harlow."

Cursing, he moved then, pulling the vampire into his arms. He sat back on his ass, holding the man tight. "I got you, Foxx," he murmured. "I got you."

Foxx latched onto him, sobbing constantly now.

"It's—" He cleared his throat awkwardly. "—going to be fine, Foxx…"

Scooting back, Harlow rested against the wall.

His chest started to feel tighter and tighter with each second that passed as Foxx's crying continued. It was such an odd sensation, painful even—how could anyone think this was a psychological issue?

Not so odd, and something he was overly familiar with, was the murderous rage. It seemed to be the most consistent reaction he had to Foxx's breakdowns. Harlow supposed, wanting to murder someone was better than being fucking confused about what to do.

Though, he should have killed more of the priests… They'd gotten off lightly.

Way too lightly… Why had he let them off? It would have been easy to kill, and then excuse their deaths afterwards. Foxx wouldn't have to worry as much if more of them were dead.

None of them deserved to live anyway. And their death would be fitting, wouldn't it? The fuckers were all about retribution, weren't they? Well, if retribution was what they wanted, then I can be theirs, he thought viciously.

Foxx mumbled something against his chest, but it was too muffled for Harlow to understand.

Taking a calming breath, he pushed the thoughts of murder away. "What was that, Foxx?" he asked, hand running over the vampire's black curls.

Foxx slowly sat up in his lap, but he didn't meet his gaze. The man's head was down, so he couldn't see his eyes at all. While it took a few moments more, the vampire eventually managed to take a stuttered breath and say, "I-I'm s-sorry."

Harlow cupped Foxx's cheek and lifted his head up. Eyes puffy and red from crying, Foxx didn't pull away, but he averted his gaze. "What are you apologizing for?"

"This… I-I'm sorry f-for this. I shouldn't…" He took another shuddered breath before continuing. "I shouldn't be a-acting like this. I-I know it m-makes you uncomfortable."

"It does?—"

"Sorry!" Foxx cried.

"For fuck's sake, let me finish. It does, but so does every fucking emotion under the sun. You don't have to apologize for feeling shit."

"I need to be okay." Foxx sniffled.

"It's okay if you aren't. I won't judge."

The vampire scoffed and finally met his gaze. "Don't lie…you"re angry."

Well fuck, he thought he'd hidden that. Guess it was time to practice being normal again. He was losing his touch if he couldn't hide something as simple as murderous rage. "I'm not lying. And I'm not angry because you are mentally fucked right now."

Foxx's mouth flattened. "Mentally fucked, am I?"

Harlow smirked. "Best kind of people are, in my opinion."

The vampire rolled his eyes.

"I didn't lie. I'm not angry at you. You being like this does make me angry. But not at you. I'm angry, but not at you," he growled in frustration. Why were words so hard?! "Fuck, Foxx, I suck at this, okay. Yes, I'm angry. But angry, as in, I want to break into the prison and kill all those fuckers. Not angry, as in, you should stop feeling…‘things'."

Foxx let out a watery laugh. "‘Things', huh?"

"Yeah…‘things'."

"Why do you want to kill them?"

Harlow frowned. Wasn't the answer obvious? "Because…they hurt you. Wouldn't them no longer being alive make you feel, at least, a little better?"

Foxx was the one frowning now. "I mean…yes, but…why would you care enough to do that?"

He blinked. Care? Care wasn't the right word…was it? "It's the only solution I can think of to fix it."

"‘It' as in my feelings?"

"Yes…?" he responded hesitantly, hoping it was the right way to answer. Based on Foxx's frown deepening, he was going to assume it was not. Well, fuck…

"I mean…you are my partner, and they fucked with you. And I don't…like that…" Think, Harlow. THINK, how to fix this?! Wait, he knew! "And we are friends. So they fucked with my friend, which is you… So…I want to fix it?"

Foxx let out an unflattering snort, before giggling softly. "You are so awkward."

Harlow huffed. "I'm trying, okay!"

Foxx leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for trying."

He smirked—hah, fixed. That wasn't so hard… Stressful though…

"Anytime, brat."

He pulled Foxx back against his chest. When the man rested his head on his pec, he pressed a kiss to the top of the vampire's head. "It'll be fine one day. But until it is, just keep feeling what you need to feel. And I'll just be getting angry and murderous on your behalf."

"Angry and murderous, huh? Sounds like you, old man."

"That it does." He ran his hand over Foxx's hair again. "So…them being dead would actually help?"

Foxx giggled. "I'd rather you stay out of jail."

"Me too, brat, me too." He shifted his hold. Cupping Foxx's ass, he stood with the man in his arms. "Let's get back to bed."

Foxx only hummed in response.

As he settled back into bed, with Foxx cuddled against his chest, one clear thought was running through his mind: Murders happened all the time in prison…what's a few more?