Chapter 10

10

The sun is bright, the ocean a deep blue, and every part of me feels at home in Clua.

That day, we rent Waverunners. The four of us jet over the waves, and it's like a release, hitting the water full throttle, the cold spray prickling against sun-warmed arms and legs, making dark spots on our life vests.

Rory has the time of his life, his red hair brilliant in the Cluan sun, his vest buckled tight, that yellow pineapple on his arm, his smile so big it takes up half his face. I can't stop staring at him.

I don't try to stop. Maybe everyone notices?

I don't care. Let them notice.

Rory's fast, too. I expected him to be more cautious, but he hits the waves head on, laughing with each jump. Carter's on the back of Rory's Waverunner, arms flung out, shouting enthusiastically. Theo and I shoot along beside them, trying to keep up.

I love being with these guys.

We even see a whale. I'm not kidding—it passes right under us, tremendous and rippling through the water. Dolphins and seals, too. Theo knows all about sea life, and he gives me some interesting facts when we slow down, rocking on the waves afterward. He even smiles a bit, and I'm glad to see him happy.

We're all four on a high by the time we get back to our beach, the sun dipping into evening.

I don't know what it is about this island, but time slips by. Of all the memories I have with the four of us, this trip will be one that makes me smile, no matter how many years pass, no matter how much changes.

I'm lucky to get this time with them.

I'm also a sweaty, sunblocked mess by the time Rory and I drop onto towels on the beach. Theo and Carter head off for a drink, but I'm feeling high enough on island life—I don't need a drink. I brush off my forearms and then rest them on my knees, conscious of how I'm sitting, just a few inches away from Rory. We haven't talked about kissing in public.

I want to pull him onto my lap and bury my nose in his neck, suck on the freckles along the top of his shoulder. Whisper how mind-numbingly sexy he is into his ear. It doesn't matter to me who sees. I think Carter and Theo would be happy for us.

But I'm not sure how Rory feels.

Although, I doubt he would appreciate me much right now anyway, with my sweaty, salty skin all over him. He's so neat too, sitting carefully on his towel, reader out and sunglasses propped on his head.

He seems to sense me looking at him, and he sets his reader aside. "I didn't think I'd like the beach so much."

I lean close enough that my shoulder nearly touches his. Fuck, I just want to pull him against me. "What's your favorite part?"

His brows pinch. "That's a complicated question."

"Is it?"

His lips rise. "I think it's you."

I shoot out a laugh. "Me?"

His eyes move over me, my arms resting on my knees, my toes coated in sand. "You come alive."

My smile fades. My stomach's doing that tickling thing. The way he's looking at me…

"Do I?" I ask.

But I know the answer. Yes, I do .

He nods. "You seem so easy."

I wiggle my toes deeper into the sand. "Clua reminds me of home."

Home .

Where is that? It's not IFU. I've enjoyed my years there, but it's never been home the same way that California is.

Or California was? Will be again?

But Rory won't be there.

My chest tightens. I squint toward the sun, a few feet above the horizon.

I don't want to think about these big life questions today. I just want to enjoy this time.

"I, uh…" I rub my hand across the back of my neck and come away with a palm layered in sand. "I'm gonna run back to take a shower. Do you want to come with?"

His eyes widen. "Um…"

Ohhh shit. "I didn't mean…" I lick my lips. "Just a shower. Separate or together or…"

Fuck, I don't want to pressure him.

He toys with the edge of his reader. "I'm good for now."

I wink, trying to put him at ease. "Then I'll be back soon."

A slip of a smile crosses his face. "Okay."

I push up, brush sand off the ass of my board shorts, and then reach down for my backpack. I sling it over my shoulders.

Can I… kiss him?

Carter and Theo are off elsewhere. The beach is crowded, as usual for spring break, but there's no one we know.

He's looking up at me, squinting from the sun, and I don't want him to think I don't want to kiss him. Because I really fucking do.

I brush sand off my chest. "Can I kiss you?"

He straightens. "Here?"

"Yep."

He glances around. "In front of everyone?"

"Yep."

He looks back at me then sucks in a sharp breath, expanding his chest under his tee. "Okay."

He's nervous.

I am too.

But I crouch, and he tips up. My heart pounds as my lips find his, lightly at first, then deeper as he cups my jaw and tugs me closer. We kiss slowly, his lips soft and warm from the sun. I drop to my knees, sprinkling sand on his towel, but he doesn't seem to mind, pulling me halfway over him, a sweet whimper coming out of his mouth.

I don't want to stop kissing him.

We get a few catcalls, and I smile against his lips. "See," I whisper when he finally pulls back, "they think you're hot, too."

I give him another wink when I stand, grinning as I adjust myself and then turn to go, not even caring how drastically I'm tenting my board shorts. People are just going to think I'm a lucky as fuck bastard, getting to kiss the hottest guy on the beach, and they'd be right.

I'm still thinking about that kiss as I step up on the boardwalk and unzip the side pocket on my backpack. I slip out my phone because I haven't checked it all day.

The family chat is full of chatter, a couple of responses to pictures I sent earlier, but something else seems to be happening too.

I scan messages, having to work through them slowly as I meander toward our villa. My dads are excited about something. And my brother.

I scroll to the first message, stopping in front of Rory's and my door. It's an audio message.

"Hey, D!" My brother's voice is ecstatic. "Guess what? I found this kick-ass rental and signed a lease for us. All taken care of for next year now. It's gonna be fantastic, bro."

I still, keycard halfway in the door, a wash of cold running down my spine.

Damon talks about the apartment. Two bedrooms, one bath. Two parking spots, which is pretty rare for San Diego. First floor apartment with a patio out back.

A lease.

Damon and I talked about this months ago. I'd told him that if he found a place, he should move on it. Rentals go fast, and it's nearly impossible to find something decent in our price range.

But fuck…

He did it.

A lease.

In California.

For next year.

His words keep swimming around, over and over.

I push open the door, kicking off my flip-flops before I step inside.

California.

A full year.

That was the plan. Back home with my family. Living with my brother again for the first time in six years. I've been excited as hell about that. He's my older brother, and I've always looked up to him. I thought it would be really cool to live together.

I should say something in the chat. I don't want him to think I'm not excited, because I am. I click on the message box. I just… don't know what to say.

The room feels quiet, my shoulders stiff. I drop my bag by the door and then cross to the patio and step outside. I inhale a deep breath of island air, warm and tropical. But there's still a wash of cold down my back.

A full year.

California.

Fuck.

I…

Do I know how to finish that sentence? Do I know what comes next?

I swallow. A deep uncertainty curls in the very back of my thoughts. I can't picture it. When I close my eyes, all I see is that empty shop. Half-drunk tea. Yellow daisies on the worktable. I try to picture this new apartment based on what my brother said, but I can't see that either.

How do we know what's next in life? How do we decide?

"D?" Rory's voice comes from behind.

I clear my throat and turn. He's standing in the open sliding door in his geometric board shorts with a wrinkle between his brows.

He's so sexy. So kissable, lickable, huggable.

"Hi," I say, nearly wanting to groan the word, but my voice comes out tight with all those thoughts about California.

He frowns like he read all my contrasting emotions in that one word. "D?"

"Yeah?"

He steps out onto the patio. "You okay?"

I pause, my phone still in my hand. "I'm okay."

I am. I'm here in Clua. With him .

I should tell him about the lease, but it doesn't come out. It feels too tangled up with him. With us.

Is there an us ?

What if there was?

I just need to think. I will tell him, but right now there's so much in my head. I sweep back the tendrils of hair that have fallen into my eyes. And… wait…

"Did you follow me back? You were at the beach, and…" I itch my sandy chest, and his gaze moves there, watching until after my hand falls.

His eyes ping up. "I thought, maybe…" He bites his lip nervously, his toes curling in his sandals. "I could take you out."

I blink. "You want to take me out?"

"For dinner?" He shifts, shoving his hands in his pockets, a blush warming across his cheeks. He's so cute.

"I don't know what's around here," he continues nervously. "If it's all spring break type stuff or if there's a nicer place? Or even if it's more casual, that's fine too. But I just—" He squishes up his shoulders then shakes his head like he's unsure what he's doing.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" I ask.

"I…" He winces then nods sharply. "If you don't want to, then that's fine. I understand."

Holy fuck, my heart spasms. My hope blossoms. My whole fucking outlook on life expands in a matter of two seconds. Not that the outlook was in any way bad before, but it's downright rainbows and gardenias now.

"Yes," I say, clearly and directly, so he knows without a doubt that I am absolutely into this. Jesus, I'm so into this. "I would love to. I'm ecstatic you asked me."

Oh fuck, he really asked me. The butterflies in my stomach churn with so much excitement that I'm not sure I can eat. I don't care if I eat. I'll just go stare at him from across a table. That sounds amazing too.

He smiles cutely, that blush running down his neck. I just watch him. I can't take my eyes off him.

I can't believe he wants to go on a date with me .

Not just kissing or waking up tangled together, but a date . I'm so fucking happy.

I click out of the family chat. "Just let me get showered."