Chapter 32

"Before you get into whatever speech you have no doubt been rehearsing, I have a question" Grace blurted out.

Grace had poured the entire bottle of wine into two glasses. She was taking Scarlett's advice and letting things get messy. They sat facing each other on the large comfy chairs Archer had brought in for client meetings.

"Ask me anything, please," Archer offered.

"How did you text me as him , when you were with me, not on your phone?"

"I scheduled some of the messages for when I thought I'd be with you. Just generic ‘thinking of you' messages, nothing that would lead to a conversation."

"What about that day with the in-office picture exchange?"

"I was typing from my laptop," Archer confessed with a lopsided grin, as he recalled that exchange. "Then I made the excuse to find, something, I can't remember what it was..."

"Sticky notes," she reminded him.

"Right, sticky notes. I went to find sticky notes, but went to the washroom instead to take that picture. I was going to send mine, not expecting anything back. Your picture was a nice surprise," he reminisced.

"Fuck, I'm gullible," Grace said, then took a long sip of wine.

"No, I was just really good at being deceitful," he sadly admitted, the humour now gone from his face.

"Yes, you were. Are, " she reconsidered.

"That's fair."

"Why did you do this, Archer?" Grace asked.

"Because I'm a coward," he admitted, then took a large gulp of his wine.

"Go on," she encouraged.

"I panicked. On my first day, I was so nervous. I thought I needed to show that I wasn't a pushover. Be tough, but fair, you know? When the meeting started, and your chair was empty, everyone said it wasn't like you to be late. But when you came in, I was still so awful, and used you to set an example."

"Everyone called you ‘Director Douchebag' for your first two weeks," Grace snickered.

"Did they really? I deserved it," he conceded. "And then when I saw you, when I turned around after I ran my mouth, I wanted to bite my tongue off in penance."

"I was willing to cut it out for you," she admitted, taking another drink.

"I have no doubt," he chuckled. "So I was stuck with this huge crush on you, but we were constantly fighting and there was no way you'd give me the time of day unless we were working."

"Because you kept acting like a dick," she reminded him.

"Yes, but I have already explained why. I was pushing you away. Anyway, I remember Scarlett talking about how you met Jake online, so I searched all the dating apps until I found your profile."

"So you are a stalker," Grace stated.

"I'll admit that was stalkerish."

"It was one-hundred percent stalking behaviour."

"Do you want me to explain, or do you want to judge my character every step of the way?"

"Both," she said stone-faced as she took another sip. "Go on."

"So I found your profile and created an account. I thought maybe I could have one or two chats with you, find out more about you, while at the same time, trying to show you that I can be a nice guy at work. The plan was to come clean almost immediately."

"So what happened?"

"Long story short, I'm a coward," Archer admitted.

"Already determined, long story please," Grace pushed.

"I don't know. Dimitri happened, then there was never a good time to bring it up. And when you told me about your past relationship, I realized I was taking this deception too far, and it just escalated way out of control.

"You were tearing yourself up with guilt for even thinking of dating two men at once, and of course, I was encouraging it from both ends, because it was all me, which didn't help things. I'll never forgive myself for that. For making you feel the way you did. Grace, I'm so sorry."

"I appreciate that you're sorry, but I… I really don't know what to do. I feel so much anger towards you, but I'm also so embarrassed. Right now, I can't find it in myself to forgive you."

"I'm not asking for forgiveness. At least not yet, but I'm hoping over time, you will see how sorry I am, and I'll do everything in my power each and every day to show you," he promised.

"Archer, you know we're done, right?" she declared. "We can't date anymore. I don't trust you."

"I was afraid you'd say that, hoping you wouldn't, but I get it, respect it."

"I spent the day contemplating leaving the company. I even updated my resume," she confessed.

"No! You don't need to leave. Please don't leave," he pleaded.

"If I stay, I need time and space from you, s omehow," Grace demanded.

"Understood. We can stop working in the conference room together, and only meet when necessary. I promise I can remain professional."

"I can as well. You're my boss and campaign partner, that's it. I can't even be your friend right now, you get that, right?" she asked.

"Moving forward I'll do everything I can to ensure work feels safe. Normal. You have my word," he assured her.

"Can you?" Grace started, then bit her lip in hesitation. "Can you promise all this? You said some pretty heavy things."

"I meant them too," he said sounding defeated, eyes cast down at his glass. "I'll deal with my feelings. They won't interfere. And if they do, I'll leave. You were here first."

"Okay," she sighed.

"Okay?"

"I'll accept your terms, I'll stay. From this moment forward, we're co-workers, nothing more," she stated, trying to sound firm, and not let the hurt and disappointment come through.

Grace stood up and offered her hand. Archer stood and clasped it, and they shook on their new work arrangement.

"I'm going now," Grace announced. "Thanks for the wine."

"Have you had a chance to get the early projections?" he asked before she turned away.

"They should be on Lucas's desk," she said with a pleasant smile, then left.

She kept it together walking back to her office. She managed to keep it together while she gathered all her stuff, turned off her computer, and left. She kept her cool as she descended the stairs and exited the building. As she started walking away, she looked up and found Archer's office light still on, and his silhouette in the window, no doubt watching her walk away. It was then that she released a long shaking breath, and the tears started to flow.

They were tears of heartbreak and tears of mourning. She let them flow freely as she walked home. She assured herself that she was doing the right thing, ending the relationship with Archer, even before it had a chance to grow and blossom. The right thing to do was most often the hardest.