16. Bridget

brIDGET

My lifefor the past month is blurry. The work I do, the appointments I have to run to, the dinners with friends or family, all the errands and chores. It all blends together.

The only thing that sticks out is my training. Of course.

I can replay almost every encounter I have had with Seth since the very beginning. Though our meetings are not as frequent as I would like, there have been many to help me learn life as a sub. It's when I'm at my most alive.

And in-between sessions, I have never begged to see Seth, though my body aches for him always.

That's probably why I don't remember much. Because my brain throbs with Seth. I walk around the world aching for the next time I can see him.

I'm different. And apparently, it shows.

Sonia, upon returning from her honeymoon, told me that I was glowing and seemed more relaxed. Amelia remarked that I don't seem like I have as much on my mind. And Deborah Angelise said I had more confidence in our second meeting.

I don't feel like I'm trying to be confident.

I guess now that I have someone taking care of me, I can just be me.

I have Seth to thank for that.

After a month, I have learned so much. And I am loving this process every step of the way.

There is something so empowering about walking through my everyday life knowing that when I'm around Seth, I give him the reins. And when it is just the two of us…

All bets are off.

The more we do, the deeper we get.

It's thrilling.

And terrifying.

No one knows why I'm a different woman. But I do. And Seth does.

I wonder if we can keep it this way forever. However, every time I go too far off track, I remind myself I need to get through training first.

He texted me from the office at almost midnight that he needed to see me. And though his text woke me up, I didn't hesitate to leap out of bed and run to him.

As I walk through the club, there are no nerves. I'm used to navigating to the Underground, to the room Seth always has reserved for us.

When I arrive, Seth is sitting on the chaise.

I close the door behind me as swift as possible and get to my knees.

"Good girl," he says.

His voice is edged with exhaustion. I am not surprised given that he was at the office so late. He's been a workaholic as long as I've known him.

I want to tell him not to work so hard. But I must save that for an appropriate time, for when I am allowed to speak without permission.

"Let me see you."

I realize I haven't removed my hood. I push it back, toss my hair out of my face.

"All of you, Bridget."

My breath catches in my throat.

I have done something that might surprise him. Something that he might like. Something he might think challenges his control.

Either way, I am either rewarded for my goodness or punished for my indiscretion.

And I like both. I deserve either.

I unbutton my coat and shrug it down my shoulders, revealing what I'm wearing underneath.

Seth breathes in sharply. "Stop."

I hold back a smile.

It is my duty as his sub to be naked.

But the surprise under my coat might change his mind for a bit.

I have designed a new lingerie set with Seth in mind.

Blue, as seems to be the color he likes me best in. Seemingly simple. A silk bra with soft cups and a pair of panties that create a vee down to my pelvis. However, the kicker with both are the metal cords that cris cross, uniting the two pieces. They can be reconfigured in any whichever way the wearer likes.

Or in whichever way pleases the viewer.

It is another step in my attempt to integrate BDSM into my elegant artistic vision.

The closest thing to how I feel inside I've ever designed.

All because of Seth.

With my eyes downcast, I'm not able to get a read on Seth.

He is silent, though. And does not move.

We remain like this for a long time. And I mean a long time. Maybe twenty minutes.

Patience is a virtue I am supposed to have as a sub. And I appreciate Seth teaching it to me. I will remain still as long as he likes because all of this is for him.

All of me. His.

"I…don't know what to say," he says after the endless silence.

I do not speak.

"I have half a mind to reward you for looking so fucking beautiful and half a mind to punish you for throwing me off."

Why not both?

"You're smiling."

Am I?

I try to relax my lips.

Seth's breathing is hard.

I can hear it all the way across the room.

His arousal is sexy and now so obvious to me.

His breathing grows heavy and strained, and he attempts to maintain control by pausing and taking the time before his next moves.

I adore my Dom. I know him so well.

"Punishment first. Reward after," he says. "Now put your hair up."

I pull my hair into a ponytail in a hurry.

"Crawl to me."

I move onto my hands and knees and begin to crawl toward him. The scene started as soon as I set foot in this room. But even if it hadn't he is still my Dom. I will follow his instruction. The more of his domination in my day-to-day life, the better. So, I will crawl whenever he desires.

I stop beside his legs.

"Lift your chin."

I do so, avoiding eye contact.

He withdraws my training collar form his pocket, wraps it carefully around my neck, locks it.

Seth rubs his jaw. I can hear he's unshaven. I bet that would burn so good between my legs if he were to…

"How should I punish you today, pet?"

Seth gets to his feet, leaving me on my hands and knees. He goes to the closet. The sounds of all the familiar toys start to clatter. Paddle, riding crop, flogger.

But there are other ways he can punish me. He can bind me in strange contortions, tie me up, edge me without letting me orgasm.

"None of them are speaking to me." He sighs. "Pet, come choose your punishment."

I crawl across the room.

Seth watches me, his smirk in my periphery.

The fact that I can please him by doing such simple things feels unreal.

Crawling, kneeling, bending over and taking a hand to my ass over and over…and those simple things make me perfect in his eyes. I am good by being the simplest and truest form of myself.

"What do you think? What kind of punishment should you get for distracting your Master?" Seth asks, stepping beside the armoire.

None of the punishments look good to me either. Not because they aren't delicious-feeling. But none of them feel as personal as I'd like.

"Speak, pet."

"I would like your hand, Sir."

Seth chuckles and crouches down to be eye level with me. "You want me to spank you with my hand?"

"I want…" I am not used to communicating my want. The only time I've been able to do so was choosing my collar. But training, Seth has said, is about learning the rules so we can learn to feel each other without speaking.

I can't explain my desire.

Seth remains quiet.

"Yes, Sir."

Seth nods. "Very well."

I have been punished before. By the hand, the paddle, the flogger.

My heart palpitates.

Seth reaches out and grabs my ponytail. He stands and goes toward the bed, using my ponytail like a leash. Not pulling hard, but enough that if I resisted it would cause significant pain.

"You know the position." He sits down.

I follow his instruction and bend over his legs.

Seth's hand caresses my ass cheeks, warming me up. "You have ruined your training tonight, pet. Ruined my concentration with this fucking stunt you've pulled."

I bite down on my lower lip.

"What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry, Sir," I say, my voice light and airy.

"Louder. Like you fucking mean it," Seth growls.

"I'm sorry, Sir," I say, this time more insistent and clearer.

Seth shakes his head. "Not fucking good enough."

That's when his hand lifts and connects for the first time. It is a mere tap, but I know he's just getting started.

"Were you trying to get punished on purpose?" His hand is back to caressing.

"No, Sir."

Another spank. This time it smarts a little bit more.

"How fucking dare you come in here wearing something like that?" His hand connects again, each word punctuated by a spank. "Are you trying to disrespect me?"

"No, Sir. I was trying to please you. I'm sorry, Sir."

"You wore this for me?"

"I made it for you, Sir," I say in small voice.

"God fucking dammit, Bridget."

He caresses my burning, and surely red, ass.

I remain still. Frozen.

"Why the fuck do you have to do this to me?"

I'm not sure if it's a rhetorical question.

"I'm sorry, Sir," I say, unsure what else to say.

"You've already received your punishment. All is forgiven, pet," he says in a soft voice.

That's it?

Seth lifts me up and sits me on his lap. His expression is unreadable except for his eyelids which are low and, I swear, wanting.

"You look fucking amazing." He bites down on his lower lip.

I perk up.

He smiles. "You made this?"

"Yes, Sir."

"For me?"

"Yes, Sir. I made it just for you."

He closes his eyes for a second, before opening them and looking into mine, but I lower my gaze to his chest. "It's beautiful, Bridget."

He tilts my chin up so we can enjoy each other's gazes. "You're beautiful."

I bat my eyes.

A grin spreads across Seth's face, tongue sliding along his lower lip.

My cheeks flush, and my eyes fall from his.

"Now. I want to take advantage of this gift you've given me."

"Yes, Sir."

Seth smooths a hand back over my hair, guiding me back down onto the bed. His other hand glides down my neck, my breasts, my belly, to my hip, then diverts between my legs and–

I gasp as his fingers enter me.

"Crotchless…" he mutters. "I should have known."

Seth's fingers pump inside me. His other hand finds my neck, right above my chain-link collar.

As his hand works, he presses down on my windpipe, diverting more blood to my pussy, intensifying my sensitivity.

His expression makes my pleasure even more intense. His brow is hardened, almost like he's studying me.

"So wet."

I nestle my hips lower, trying to swallow up his fingers.

Seth chuckles and tightens the grip on the front of my neck, squeezing until my breath is barely sneaking out from between my lips.

"You're going to come on my hand, pet."

If this is my reward, then I am a very grateful girl.

I will please him by offering my mouth for his cock. Or my ass, somewhere we have yet to go, but I am eager to try.

Seth buries four fingers into my pussy and circles my clit with his thumb.

My g-spot is on fire, boiling, ready to blow its top.

"Ready, pet?"

I nod.

Seth's hand tightens on my neck until I can't breathe, and his hand works at a merciless pace.

I press my heels to the edge of the bed, my body bucking wriggling for release as I am suffocated until I burst, contracting around his fingers.

"Yes, ride it out. Keep going. You can do it," he encourages.

I'm still coming. Feels so good I barely care that my chest is in pain from not taking a breath.

My hands fly up to his around my neck. Black creeping in at the corners of my vision.