13. Bridget

brIDGET

Leavingthe house is harder than it should be. I spend a little time helping Dad and Amelia with the puzzle, then say goodnight to them under the guise I will be returning to my apartment for the rest of the night.

"Sleep tight, pumpkin," Dad says before planting a kiss on my cheek.

I can't help but feel they can see the guilt on my face. The fact I've lied to him. Not only am I lying about staying in for the night, but I'm also lying about staying in for the night to go to the Underground.

And furthermore, the person I'm going to visit at the Underground…

No. Stop. I won't let my mind go there.

Not when I know what's on the other side of giving into temptation.

I get changed, opting for a black dress.

Once I'm dressed, I stand and stare in the mirror for far too long.

My heart has been punching itself out of my ribcage since I woke up this morning, knowing I would see Seth after what feels like so long. Then, of course, the second I come downstairs, we run into each other in the most literal sense.

I felt him get hard against me. Only took a single touch.

I was thankful he was able to pry himself off of me because I'm not sure I would have been able to handle my carnal impulses.

Every night, I touch myself to the memory of him fucking me. The fullness. The tender domination. The unrelenting pleasure.

I hope he will recognize how good I've been trying to be. I have not texted him or tried to reach out despite my anxiety flaring with each passing day. There's a niggling question in the back of my mind that enjoys taunting me in quiet moments.

What if he's changed his mind?

I draw my hand to my neck, stroke the choker. My placeholder collar. I touch it every time I start to get overwhelmed by fear.

It reminds me of our hours together in the Underground. All the times he whispered "good girl" in my ear.

The punishment…

Deserved punishment that made the pleasure so much better.

Should I follow his instructions tonight, we will move on to the next phase of our Dom and sub relationship.

That's all I want.

However, my bones ache knowing we are stepping beyond that into something else too.

Intimacy. One we will never be able to recover from. Whether it ends with broken hearts or…

I pause the roll of thoughts.

Enough thinking.

I need the one thing that gets me out of my head, the one thing that lets me relinquish control of my life.

I need Seth.

Now.

The same as last time,when I arrive, Seth removes my coat, except this time, he presses a kiss to my cheek as he does so.

I've always seen cheek kisses as something chaste and innocent. Not when he does it.

Something to remember him by before the scene takes over.

Also different from last time is Seth's immediate demand: "Strip, pet."

I try to steady my breath.

Seth smirks.

I obey. Shoes, stockings, dress, bra, underwear.

He watches the entire time, stone-faced, not betraying any enjoyment or feeling in the action.

In a strange way, it makes me feel giddy. Not knowing all that makes Seth excited means that everything is a free for all.

I only need to be focused on his demands. His orders. I don't have to worry about a thing because I know he'll take care of all my needs. He'll teach me all I need to learn.

And as he does, he learns me. My body. My reactions. He'll be able to read me like a book.

Those blue eyes, which have always felt cold to me, now feel like warm beams of light despite their lack of expression.

If only behind closed doors, while we are in this room, I am the center of his universe.

And he is the center of mine.

I fold all my clothing nicely into a pile and place it in the chest at the end of the bed.

Seth stares at my naked form, then tilts his chin toward the chaise. "Before we begin, I've drawn up our new contract."

I sit on the edge of the chaise, naked and proper, as if I'm at a formal dinner, my ankles crossed, back straight.

The new contract sits on the coffee table. We discussed my hard limits and the rules of our training before we left our first session, right here in this room, as if he hadn't just taken me to heights I'd never experienced before.

Seth had me fill out an exhaustive checklist of all kinds of kinks and experiences, some of which I'd never even heard of before.

Now, they are all listed in alphabetical order. All the dos and don'ts and maybes.

I have so much to learn. So much to experience. I'm like a kid in a candy store.

And best of all, his limits and mine are a match almost to a T, so if we continue doing this, we won't be settling, we are a perfect match.

I bite my lower lip. I can't help but be a little nervous to be pushed to my limit. I know Seth won't force me beyond what I can take. He suggested we take things slower since I am new at this.

And I can see his point, but I'm not sure. I've been watching from afar for years now. I've read all the books I can. I don't want to do anything halfway just because I'm "new" to this.

However, Seth is an experienced Dom. I need to trust him to take care of me. To know what is best for me. Because he knows best. And he is my Dom, after all.

This time, I read through the contract twice, making sure everything is as we agreed upon, before picking up the pen.

Seth chuckles. "You're learning, Bridget."

I say nothing and sign on the dotted line.

"Very good. Now..."

Remembering last time, and before he asks, I pull my hair into a ponytail.

It is a strange sensation to have all my hair up off my shoulders. I rarely keep my hair in any kind of style but down. It makes sense that Seth would use this as a way to discern reality from the scene.

Not to mention, I know he loves grabbing it, using it as a way to control me.

As do I.

Seth retrieves a wooden box and sets it in front of me.

"We discussed that ribbon on your neck was a mere placeholder. So, since we now have a long-term contract in place, and I'm taking you as my sub, we need to let others in the community know you are not to be touched. Ever. So…" He opens the box. Inside are three beautiful chokers. Training collar options. "Pick."

I've been dreaming of this moment all week, and my eyes immediately fall to a chain closed with a lock.

Without looking at the others or hesitating, I point to the one that hypnotized me.

"Use your words, pet," Seth says.

"I would like this one, Sir."

"Are you sure, pet? You won't ever be able to take it off. Only I will."

Knowing I'm giving him a measure of full control over me makes me shiver.

I want to give Seth that control. That trust.

If he'd have me, I'd give up all control to him.

And I never want him to question that I trust him.

"Very well. Good girl."

Seth rounds the chaise, undoes the thin, blue ribbon, then places the training chain around my neck.

The metal causes goosebumps to break out on my skin. But it's also the pleasure at being claimed.

He snaps the lock right at the front of my neck, the click sending a pang of pleasure straight to my clit. Then he wraps his hand around my chin, guiding me to look up at him.

"Are you ready to start your training?"

I smile. "Yes, Sir."

"Good. Today, we will learn about some of the implements used in the lifestyle. Some of them, we will never use, but you should learn them just the same."

My insides flame with excitement and fear, for a moment painfully aware of how clothed he is and how naked I am. Not that I mind. Seth looks amazing in whatever he wears. All of his clothes are tailored for his perfect proportions. Strong, broad back, the vee of his waist, apple cheeks of his ass.

I swallow. I would love to see him naked one day. But that is not a demand I can make of him.

And as his sub…there is something so exciting about waiting for the privilege to see him naked. Not knowing if one day he will change the rules and allow me to see all of him the way I bare myself to him.

"Come."

I follow him to the wardrobe in the room and when he opens it, a world opens before me.

I recognize a few of the things in there, but others I've never seen before, and a few others downright scare me just looking at them.

"Let's start with the art of restraint, shall we?" Seth's voice is a low growl, sending shivers down my spine.

"Yes, Sir." A breath is all I can muster as I remember being cuffed to the bed last time we were here.

My heart hammers in my chest as his hand trails over a collection of restraints, and he explains how each is used.

His hand eventually stops at some colorful silky ropes.

He takes one out of the place where it is hanging.

"Ropes like this one offer both security and vulnerability. Same as neckties and scarves, they wrap around you like a lover's embrace. The difference is in the texture as it kisses your skin when you fight against them. Like all the others, they should add to the experience, not take away from it, so though they should leave you powerless to move, they should never be used in a way that will lead to unnecessary hurt or discomfort for you."

As he talks, the rope dances between his fingers with practiced ease.

My eyes can't pull away as I find myself captive of the intricate patterns he weaves, imagining how those soft strands would feel as they encircled my wrists and ankles.

He takes one end of the rope and skims it up my arm, over by breasts, and letting it caress my skin as he weaves it around me for a few seconds before taking it back and putting it away, leaving me panting.

Next, Seth takes out a set of leather cuffs, their metal buckles gleaming as he turns them this way and that. "These are similar to what we used last time, but a different material. As you could attest, they offer a more secure form of restraint. Unlike the ropes that can be used for full-body bondage, cuffs are mainly used for wrists and ankles, whether to tie them to each other or to secure points specifically designed for that."

He fastens one of the cuffs around my wrist, the leather tight against my skin.

I swallow hard, feeling a surge of heat pooling low in my belly.

"It feels different than the others last time. Sir."

"It does. The leather gives it a different texture. But just as nice to keep you still." He smiles.

He takes the cuff away from my wrist, and I feel its absence.

"Moving on." Seth selects a length of chain, its links looking cold and unforgiving. "This is a symbol of strength and submission, an unbreakable bond."

The chain trails along the curve of my spine, the metal cool against my skin.

I shudder as its weight presses down on me, anchoring me in ways I never thought possible.

After putting the chain back, he turns to me and skims a finger over my collarbone. "But the ultimate form of bondage is the collar," he says softly. "A symbol of ownership and devotion, this marks you as mine."

He traces the collar around my neck, his touch gentle yet possessive.

I inhale sharply at both his touch and the reminder of the utter control he has over me.

He turns back to the wardrobe. "Now let's see some of the instruments that can be used for both punishments and funishments."

He goes through them all, one by one, and I have to admit some terrify me, and a couple are added to my list of hard limits and a few others to my list of soft limits.

"I saved the best for last." His hand brushes over a simple handle with a circular, leather flat top.

It is smooth and unassuming.

He picks it up. "This, pet, is a paddle. It delivers a firm, satisfying smack, leaving a delicious sting upon your skin."

I swallow hard, my pulse quickening with anticipation.

He sets it to the side, on the table instead of putting it back like the others.

He takes a dark instrument this time, one that I've watched being used many times and have wondered about how it would feel on my skin. "This is a flogger."

He examines it, and when he talks next, his tone is filled with reverence. "It can be used for both pleasure and pain, its tendrils caressing or striking with equal intensity."

He twirls it in his hand, the strands whispering through the air with a tantalizing swish.

I bite my lip, imagining the sensation of the leather dancing across my skin.

Setting it next to the paddle, he reaches inside the land of treasure and torture once more to pull out something I am familiar with.

"The riding crop is perfect for precision strikes. It delivers a sharp, stinging sensation that will leave you trembling with pleasure."

He runs the tip of the crop along the curve of my spine, making goosebumps erupt all over. I gasp, as a delicious ache builds inside me.

Setting it up next to the other two on the table, he closes the wardrobe and turns to me.

"There's one more we haven't talked about yet, and it might be the most used of all."

Seth holds out his own hand, offering it to me with a tender smile. "This is the most intimate of implements, capable of delivering both pain and pleasure with a single touch."

I take his hand in mine and caress it, remembering last time, and how it had delivered it all.

He holds my hand in his, picks up the things he laid on the table, and guides me toward the bed.

"It's all nice and fine talking about it, but you need to know the difference between them. For that, you need to feel them. So… Are you ready, pet?"

I shiver. I am so ready. But at the same time, I don't want to disappoint him. What if I suck at this?

I nod. Once. Tentatively.

"We don't have to do this today, Bridget, but we do have to do it, so we might as well get it over with so we can move on to the more pleasurable part of the training. So, what do you say?"