11. Bridget

brIDGET

This is happening.

I'm tossing out my v-card tonight.

Seth sits back on his knees, the heat between his legs pressed to the heat between mine. His coiffed hair is now a bit off-kilter and, once I get my hands on it, will be a complete mess.

If I can get my hands on it.

I never thought it would be him, as much as I wanted it to be. As much as I've desired him over all these years, I never thought that he would be the Dom I would trust enough to take me there.

Now, with my hands cuffed to the headboard and my body nearly naked before him, I am about to give him the one thing I've kept a secret.

As long as Seth doesn't change his mind.

He knew it would lead here, didn't he? Maybe not so soon?

"You want me to beg?" I ask.

He shakes his head once. "I didn't say that."

"I'll beg for you," I say. "Fuck, I let you bite me, begging is the least I can do."

His eyes flick up to the mark now forming on my breast.

"I like it," I say. "I promise, I liked it. But I want–" I grind myself against him, feeling a rolling wave of pleasure of my body.

My clit is perked, and my insides are dying for more.

"Bridget." Seth lunges forward and presses his hands to my shoulders, sealing me to the mattress.

I gasp as he hovers over me, rendered silent by the intensity of his gaze.

Seth scans my face.

I can feel the way his eyes travel over my skin. Creeping over me and sizing me up.

"You're a virgin," he says.

I open my mouth to respond but say nothing.

"If you want to go there, we can, but you can't get that back after it's gone."

"How did you know that?" I whisper.

Seth hesitates. "I just…had a feeling."

"How did you know?"

"I know everything I can about you. You haven't had a boyfriend since college, and I know he didn't touch you like that."

I screw my face together. "How could you possibly know that?"

"I don't know. Not in the factual sense but in the feeling sense. This is all this is, Bridget. I can feel that you're–"

"Fuck you," I say. "You can't know anything by feeling it. And now you've just made me tell you that I'm–that–" I pull at my restraints. "Let me go. Red. Red."

Seth puts a hand against my sternum. "Easy. Take it easy."

My pulse skyrockets. A claustrophobia I've never known is taking over. "I want to get out, I want–"

Seth rubs my bare breastbone with one hand while trying to reach the key with the other. "Shhh…I'll let you out, but you have to calm down. Breathe, honey."

His touch is warm and comforting. I follow his instruction without thinking.

He releases one wrist from its binding. "I didn't mean to trick you. I'm sorry."

I roll my free wrist, then watch as he undoes the other. But he keeps my hand in his, cupping it like a wounded bird.

"I wish I could make you understand how much I've thought about you since the moment I met you. Not only have I wanted you like this…" Seth rakes his blue eyes across my body. "But protecting you, keeping you safe. It's a compulsion I can't quit."

I don't say anything. Because it all makes sense. All the texts and phone calls. The insistence at having my location at all times while I was away at college. Warding other men off. "Why didn't you just say something?"

"How could I? When we're…" He closes his eyes and shakes his head.

Silence falls between us. Seth pulls the inside of my wrist to his mouth, kissing it softly, then presses it to his forehead. He releases a deep sigh, the weight of the past decade melting out of him.

I open my palm, letting my fingers tickle through his hair.

"If you want this, you have to tell me in no uncertain terms, Bridget," Seth says. "I do not take the job lightly to be your first."

I can't help smiling, though his expression is distraught. "Seth, I have been saving myself for my Dom."

His brow is pinched at the middle.

"And if you'll continue to have me after today, that's you."

His jaw steels. The way the persona fits him is as visible as a superhero putting on their cape. A total transformation.

It's so fucking sexy.

"So, yes, I want you to be my first," I say. "Under one condition."

"You have a contract?" he asks with a half-smile that is at the same time smug and tentative.

I shake my head. "You'll just have to be a man of your word."

Seth nods. "Always."

One shaky inhale.

Say it.

A steadier deep breathe. "I don't want you to be gentle with me."

Seth's breathing stills.

"I want you to fuck me like I'm your sub. Because I am," I say. "Aren't I?"

"Damn right you are." Seth nods before rolling off me and getting to his feet. Our eyes lock. "Are you ready to begin again?"

I divert my eyes from his. "Yes, Sir."

"Fuck, I love it when you call me that."

Seth grabs my ankle and yanks me across the bed.

I yelp as he positions me across the bed, then flips me onto my belly.

He grabs my ponytail and presses my face into the mattress. "Face down." Then, his hands slide into the pockets of my hips, and he yanks them back. "Ass up. Got it?"

"Yes, Sir," I pant into the mattress.

"Repeat it."

My chest warms at that. "Face down, ass up, Sir."

"Good girl."

With my face down, I do not have a view of what Seth is doing, which means feeling him is everything I have.

Seth presses his clothed erection into my backside and hums. "Goddamn it…"

Same.

He drapes himself over me and begins to press kisses down my spine.

I melt further into the bed with each touch of his lips.

It is such a small and gentle gesture, yet knowing he has complete control of the situation sends my head spinning.

Then, his fingers tuck into the band of my underwear.

He begins to work them down, a sharp inhale when they're halfway down my thighs. "Christ, you're glistening."

For you.

"Straighten your legs for me, pet."

Oh, I love when he calls me that.

With my legs straightened, Seth guides the panties all the way off, then taps my heels off the backs of my feet so they fall to the ground.

Now, I'm naked in front of the man who is going to take my virginity. The man I've tried to stay away from for so fucking long it's caused physical ache in the pit of my belly and the apex of my thighs. The man I've touched myself thinking about. The man who has owned every single one of my climaxes because I want him that fucking badly.

Seth pushes my knees back into position. Face down, ass up.

"I'm going to taste you. Get you ready for my cock."

I turn my face to the side, eyes shooting open. I've never had that done to me either.

"Be a good girl for me and let it all out," Seth says in a ragged voice before pressing his face into my groin and enveloping my clit with his lips.

I cry out.

My clit perks with a sensation of pain that is quick to turn into pleasure.

My moans can't be contained as Seth works my pussy with his mouth. Tongue flicking, mouth humming.

I garble all my words with groans and sighs, masking "oh gods" and "fucks" left and right to avoid breaking his rules.

I am still a beginner after all and want to be the goodest girl I can be for him. My Dom.

I squeal inside each time I remember.

And while pleasure builds between my legs, Seth's grip on my thighs reminds me of the thin line between pleasure and pain.

His fingers dig into my skin, pinching with abandon.

I don't mind, though. Not only because I relish the pain, but because it reminds me of how bad he wants me. Of that erection he was sporting, harder than I thought was possible.

The pleasure zips through me like crests of building waves.

I shift forward and back on his face, Seth's grip never faltering.

"Oh, oh, oh–" I offer because I can't tell him I'm so close he might push me right over the edge.

However, Seth is well practiced and pulls away right at that moment, accompanied by a staggering growl. "You want to come?"

"Yes, Sir. No, Sir. I… I don't know."

He laughs. Big and vibrant, filling the room and shaking the walls. "Shall I edge you?"

That sounds like a delicious torture. "Yes, Sir."

"Hmmm." Seths hand forces it's way between my legs, two fingers pinching my clit. "Next time. Now be a good girl and give me what I want."

With one twist of the bundle of nerves, he sends a powerful and sharp orgasm through me. The noise that comes out of me is one of jerking surprise and tremendous pleasure.

"If you think I'm ever going to resist the urge to give you an orgasm, think again," Seth says.

I expect him to remove his hand from between my legs, but he doesn't. Instead, he circles my clit and then prods it again.

A painful shock cracks my body, and I shoot forward, trying to get away from his fingers.

Seth grabs ahold of my ponytail and pulls it back. "Stay still."

To further emphasize his point, he smacks my ass a little harder than he did earlier.

That's something I want more of.

Two fingers work my clit again, sending pangs of euphoria-edged pain through my body, while two more of his fingers plunge into my pussy, working me from the inside.

Soon enough, my clit is no longer screaming for a break but begging for release.

I push my hips back on his hand until the tremendous release mounts into a somehow even stronger orgasm.

Again, I scream out, slicking his fingers with more of my essence.

"Holy shit, your sounds," he says through a disbelieving laugh. "I always knew you'd be perfect for me, but your sounds are better than I could've imagined."

Seth releases my ponytail, and I drop back into position.

"I can't wait any longer."

Me either.

Seth grunts as he steps away. The clinking of his belt sliding off and hitting the ground with a clank, then the zipper of his pants running let me know what is coming. And god, I'm so ready!

"I need to be inside you."

I moan.

"Use your words, pet."

"I want you, Sir." The words come out of me like a song that needs to be sung. I can't keep them in. "I need you inside me so bad."

We didn't discuss contraception, but if Seth knows everything about me, he knows that I've been on birth control since I was eighteen because his mother went with me to my first gyno appointment and thought it would be best. It's only come in handy for less painful periods.

Until now.

"I'm big, Bridget."

"I know, Sir."

Seth grabs my hips and pulls them back until I bump into his bare cock. Hot, hard, and huge. He drags himself across the seam of my pussy and my backside, coating himself in my juices. "Tell me how much you want me."

"I want you so bad, Sir," I whine. "I've wanted you for years."

"Fuck yes, you have."

"I have been a good girl for years so that one day you would finally fuck me, Sir."

As soon as I say the words out loud, I know I mean them with all my heart. And though it was never a conscious thought of mine, the truth is I have been craving this attention from him for years.

He laughs low. "You've been a good girl for me?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Well, good girls deserve rewards."

It is painful at first, the way he sticks his cock inside me. My whole body bracing. I fist the sheets, hoping that will help.

"Tensing won't make it feel better," Seth says in a soft manner.

Still my Dom, the one who knows everything I don't. But not set on inflicting pain.

Further proof it was right to wait for him.

"Relax around me, pet."

I let out my held breath, let the term of endearment wash over me.

Seth is being…gentle. One of his hands slides across my backside, not prepping me for another lashing, but encouraging me to give in.

After several breaths, my muscles unfurl and it's starting to feel good. To be filled by him.

Seth inches a bit further inside me.

The stinging pain threatens to return, but I remind myself to just relax and let him take me away.

"God fucking dammit, you're tight," he says through clenched teeth.

That helps me to relax further, knowing just how good I'm making him feel.

We both need this. Have both craved it.

On one hand, that's a lot of pressure, to make it feel as good as possible. And on the other, there's so much inside we've been waiting to release.

The latter will win out.

Seth starts to move his hips forward and back with careful slowness, dragging his cock through me. He can read my body, can sense when I am ready to be pushed just a little farther. He is such a great Dom.

Such a great man.

Seth's hands move to the pockets of my hips.

He begins to use my body as leverage, pulling himself inside, pushing me away.

I lock into the rhythm too, begin to push my hips back as he thrusts inside, hips kissing.

"Tell me how you feel," he grunts, voice growing ragged.

As I stretch, I burn. Not a bad burn, not at all. It is as if I am the fire, the way my insides are starting to swelter and flare with pleasure.

It's different than the orgasms he gave me already. Those were hot and sharp. Immediate. This one, as it builds, threatens to be bigger, brighter, longer.

"So fucking good, Sir," I moan.

"That's not good enough."

Seth cups the base of my neck, presses me tight to the mattress and begins to thrust harder, faster.

As pleasure overwhelms me and envelops me in a beautiful cocoon, I can no longer keep up with him. I am at the mercy of his rhythm and his cock.

Each press of himself inside me elicits sounds from the back of my throat, sounds I've never heard myself make. They are unfettered and sometimes choking and ugly, but Seth matches me.

The rip of his groans, the roll of his curses.

"You like it when I fuck you?" he calls out.

How is he holding so tight to his control? I feel like I might burst into flames or shatter into a thousand pieces any moment now.

"Yes, Sir," I squeal.

His hand attaches to my ponytail again, and he yanks on it, pulling me back so far I'm sitting on his lap with my back against his front.

I yelp, all my weight poured down onto his cock, skewered with pleasure.

Seth twists my face toward his, kisses me fiercely.

I have forgotten how wonderful his kiss is. I haven't had nearly enough of his kisses. I want more, more, more.

But one is enough to sate him. He pulls me again by my ponytail, away from his mouth.

The look in his eye is dark and primal, pupils overwhelming his irises.

His nostrils flare with heavy breaths.

"Tell me…" he says with dark softness. "Tell me how bad you want to come on my cock."

"I…" I struggle to find my voice, buried deep under heavy moans and sighs. "I want to come on your cock so badly, Sir. Please let me. Please."

Seth says nothing, mouth a thin line. He ghosts his hands down my arms, takes my wrists, and pulls them back so my arms are looped around his neck.

He tucks his chin on my shoulder and runs his fingers down the front of my body.

I watch his fingers trace the bite mark he left on me, then my pebbled nipples, all the way down my navel, and to the glistening spot where our bodies meet.

"You're perfect," he whispers.

My eyes flutter shut.

I don't think that was Seth the Dom coming through. I think that was Seth who has watched me for the past ten years, desperate to have me when he knew he couldn't.

Tonight, I am his dream come true.

And he is mine.

When his hands reach my thighs, he grabs them tight, wrenches them back so I am straddled over his knees.

"Let me hear you," he growls.

Then, he lets me have it. Driving harder and faster up into me if that were possible.

My head drops back onto his shoulder, and I moan, scream out for him. "Sir, please, Sir…"

The pause in stoking the fire has only made it burn brighter.

I feel it climbing up my body, engulfing each one of my nerves, snaring and snapping until, until–

"You need to come," he grunts in my ear. "Don't you?"

I try to speak, but I can't get out more than, "I–I–"

"Don't you?!"

My voice pitches to new heights as the orgasm rattles the bars of its cage. "I need to come, Sir. Please, I need to–"

Seth's hand snakes down to the spot we meet, fingers locating the button of my clit. And just a press of his fingers shoots me into the heart of the fire.

I combust, every part of me hot and thrumming with pleasure.

My pussy contracts around him, pulses, making the space smaller, tighter for him.

Seth's arms wrap around my chest. He thrusts just a few more times before a strangled sound jabs out of him and lands against my neck.

I feel him inside as he throbs and releases, painting my insides.

I cannot ignore the feeling of accomplishment inside me.

I made him come. He wanted me so badly…

Seth's tight embrace relaxes around me. His head drops forward and he drags his lips across my shoulder, back and forth, before dropping a single kiss to my skin.

His heaving chest presses against my back.

I can feel his heart racing, racing, racing…slowing.

Seth swallows, thick and loud, and he lifts his mouth to my ear. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, Sir." That's all I can manage when my mind is still swimming with the wonderful flush of sex.

He rubs my arms up and down. "Lay down with me, Bridget."

I nod. It is heavy and unwieldy on my neck. I'm here, but I'm not. I'm out flying somewhere. Could this be the subspace I heard about?

I'm in heaven and I don't know if I should come back down to earth.

Seth takes control. He slides out of me, leaving me empty and sated, and guides me to lie on the bed. Then he rolls me onto my side to face him, covering us and holds me tight. Like he is keeping me tethered here, to him.

"I'm going to get you some water and some chocolate, okay? It will help you."

I nod.

He snugs the covers all around me, like my own little snuggle cave, before he heads to his bag.

After rummaging inside, he comes back, and helps me drink a few sips and feeds me two squares of chocolate. Lying next to me, he pulls me close, and his free hand moves to my ponytail.

With utmost care, he begins to undo it.

Slowly, I came back into my body.

Wow. I had no idea it would be like this.

When I watched scenes, the aftercare has always confused me. The switch in energy never made complete sense.

Now I get it. I understand. After all the intensity, it is necessary to slow down, remind us both who we are beyond the dynamic of sub and Dom.

We are Bridget and Seth.

There is so much baggage that comes with that, baggage I was able to push away in the throes of pleasure and self-discovery.

Baggage that now threatens to scare me away.

"Bridget, could you open your eyes, please?"

I do.

All the fear of baggage melts away when Seth's blue gaze meets mine while his lips linger on my hands.

I find myself smiling. A stupid smile, most likely.

"Here, have some more water," he says.

I realize just how parched I still am.

He wraps his hand around the back of my neck. So tender… "Tilt your head back."

"I can…" I reach for the bottle. "You don't have to."

"I want to," Seth says.

My eyes widen, but I follow his instruction, tilting my head back.

Seth brings the bottle to my lips again and tilts it so the water runs gingerly into my mouth.

A sip of water has never tasted so good.

I suckle at the bottle until it's half empty, then draw my lips away, panting.

"Had enough?"

I nod. "Yes, thank you."

"Do you need more chocolate?"

"I don't think so."

Seth watches me for a moment. His watchfulness is now so clear to me.

The way he was taking me in while we were in scene isn't that different from what he's doing now.

Except now, rather than dominating me, he's…taking care of me.

"It's important," Seth says, his voice deep and firm, "for both of us, that after a scene I take care you."

He guides his fingers across my temple, pushing some hair away from my face.

My eyes flutter shut.

God, his touch is so nice after all these years.

"So you don't go into sub drop," he says. "And we can…reconnect."

My heart swells.

In truth, Seth and I have always been connected. There have been moments of distance, frustration, annoyance, yes.

But we both admitted it. We've been dying for this.

Seth leans in, kisses my cheek. "Are you cold?"

I snuggle closer to him for his body heat. "I'm okay."

Seth chuckles. "Let me tuck you in better."

God, this is so different from the Seth I knew before. A million miles away.

I never thought I'd let myself feel this, but I need him. Need his surety. Need his control.

This can't be only tonight. It can't be.

After making sure no inch of me is uncovered, he looks into my eyes, frowning. "Better?"

I let out a long sigh. "Feels nice."

He relaxes beside me, pulls me close again so I'm nuzzled into his chest.

He clears his throat. "So…what did you think?"

"About?"

Seth hums, a warm resonance in his chest. "All that happened here, I guess."

My mind is swimming with thoughts.

There are so many ways I want to express how much I enjoyed it. How grateful I am. How amazing it all felt. How much I'd like to do it again.

Desperate. I'm desperate to do it again.

"It was all…" I sigh. "Better than I could have imagined."

Seth tips my head back so he can look into my eyes.

His thumb traces my lip. "Would you like to do that again some time?"

I nod, smiling. "Again and again and…"

Seth's lips tip up into a boyish smile. Rare for him. "Then tonight, Bridget, was the first night of your training."

His eyes fall to my neck and his fingers follow the thin, blue ribbon to the back of my neck, pulling at the clasp.

"Don't!" I cry out and press the ribbon to my throat.

Seth's brow furrows.

"Let me…let me leave it on. I feel safe with it. Is… is that ok?"

His brow softens, surprise shining on his face. "Are you sure? People will see."

"Yes. It doesn't have to mean anything if you don't want it to, but please. I'll wear turtlenecks or… maybe it can be a fashion statement." I lower my eyes.

Seth smiles at me like I am dear and small and worth being protected. "You have no idea how much I like that idea. How much it means to me that you want to wear my collar. Even if it is just a placeholder."

I can't restrain myself. I push myself upward and kiss him. We are out of scene, anyway. I am in need of training. I'm still wily. Need to be taught.

But this I must do.

After I kiss him, I draw back only an inch and whisper, "Thank you."

Seth cups my cheek.

And in the place of the, "You're welcome," I expect to hear, are echoes of my own words.

"Thank you, Bridget."

There's no going back now.

We remain in bed together for as long as we dare. Sometimes, our mouths gravitate toward one another in soft, angelic kisses. So opposite what we just experienced together.

I am sore between my legs, otherwise I would invite him in again. They say the first time hurts, and while it did upon his initial entrance, all the pleasure made it so worth it. Still, though, I don't want to bite off more than I can chew.

Besides, it's not just sex.

It's submission too. And I still have a long way to go before I'm good enough for him.