12. Abigail

12

ABIGAIL

Theo and I say nothing to one another in the car ride over nor do we speak on the elevator ride to his apartment.

I think we're both still in shock from what's happened, and that getting rid of Miranda and Bridget was as easy as it was.

For her part, Miranda was incensed by the interruption and left before we came back.

Bridget, on the other hand, required some misdirection.

While Theo pretended to go off in search of Miranda, I acted as though I had an important phone call all of a sudden regarding a job. Thankfully, I've lamented to Bridget enough that she knows how frustrated I am with the job search, and she encouraged me to do what had to be done.

I feel bad for lying to her.

But this has to be done too.

Theo steps off the elevator first and leads me to his apartment, his keys jangling as he walks.

I still can't believe what came over me back there. The whole night is really a blur, from conceiving of the idea to drop into the club and see how his date was going to interfering with his date and then grabbing him–

This is a version of myself I haven't known in a long time. The gritty, take what she wants Abigail.

I had that attitude coming out of grad school, but the job search has ground down my spirit and hunger.

I needed something else to be hungry for.

Theo sates that.

It's temporary. I'm sure it is. Because he's handsome and he's off-fucking-limits, that's for sure. That in combination with the curtain he's pulled to show me what goes on in his head…his sensitivities and love for his daughter, his yearning for something bigger for himself, well.

That's a recipe for a complete sexual disaster. At least when you look at all the facts separate from the chemistry that's been building between us.

Theo opens the door for me. "After you."

Does he have to be so polite?

The bar is really on the floor if politeness is making me horny, but with that accent too? Christ almighty.

"Thank you." I step inside and take in the apartment.

Unlike my father's penthouse, which has been updated and rearranged throughout the years, it is an old co-op with all the original features. Crown molding, built-ins, parquet floors. Not large, but charming.

It even smells old, like a library of ancient books.

It's a version of heaven.

"May I take your coat?"

"Oh, yes, thank you." I hurry to unbutton it.

Theo slides his fingers into the collar of my jacket and pulls it off me, exposing my bare arms to the air.

Goosebumps spring up on my skin, and they don't go unnoticed by Theo. He brushes the back of his hand down my arm. "Is it too cold in here?"

I grab the spot he's just touched. Now I'm burning. "No, not too cold."

I turn to face him, keeping my hand on my arm, approaching him with a docile sort of posture.

Theo places my coat on the hall tree, then his own, avoiding eye contact with me. "Well, why don't we have a drink, and we can…discuss."

"Discuss what?" I smile.

"Abigail, I might be a man, but I am an old man, and my days of impulse and recklessness are long behind me. Everything comes with terms now." He gestures through the door behind me. "Please."

I chuckle, following his hand into a sitting room decorated in furniture you'd see in the parlor of a historical romance heroine. "You're not old ."

"Relative to my present company, I'd beg to differ."

I shoot him a look over my shoulder. "If I can't mention you-know-who, you can't mention you're old. Those are the start of my terms."

Theo smiles, his cheeks turning round. He nods. "I'll be amenable to that." He strides over to the sideboard. "Do you drink whisky straight?"

I am my father's daughter . "Yes."

"A woman after my own heart."

I begin to salivate when he slides off his suit jacket and swings it over the back of one of the sofas. I am only human, after all.

"Speaking of…" He's interrupted by the glugging of a decanter of whisky as he pours. "When did that…happen?"

I step further into the room, unsure where I should go. "When did I become interested in you?"

"I won't presume that much."

"Right, that's why I kissed you."

"I think I kissed you, Abigail."

"Mmm, but it was my idea."

Theo turns, eyes thin on me as he approaches with two whiskies. "You are incorrigible."

"I think you like it." I take the whisky from him.

Theo looks away with a grimace. "Yes, that's the problem."

I giggle into my whisky. "Why is it a problem?"

His eyes find mine as I drink. "You know why."

Whisky heats my insides.

"Just once," Theo says in a soft and smoky voice. "Just tonight."

I nod. "To get it out of the way."

"Something like that." He carefully raises his hand to my cheek. His thumb follows the line of my cheekbone.

I bask in his admiration.

"It's considerably less a chore to me than that phrase suggests, but yes."

His touch is undeniable and electric.

I knew I wanted it, but I couldn't have anticipated just how nice or right it would be.

Theo moves his hand to my chin, his thumb under my lip. "I'll ask again. When?"

I tell him what's true and only what's true because I don't know much more. "Seeing you with another woman…hearing about you with other women. Made me jealous."

"Abigail Lyons, what do you have to be jealous of? You have your whole life ahead of you. Men will come and go, much younger than me."

It's only tonight and one night with an older man doesn't mean anything to the trajectory of my life. However, I can't deny, I don't mind the thought of longer and more. "When did you?"

"I can't tell you that," he says.

I wrap my hand around his wrist and lean into him. "That's not fair."

"Life isn't fair," he says with a smile on his face. "I have learned that the hard way."

I smile back. "You've liked me a long time, then?"

His cheeks redden.

Laughter pours out of me. I pull away from him and spin around.

"Your silence speaks volumes, Theo!" I sing out.

His footsteps are heavy behind me and before I can react, his arm slides around my front.

He drags me into his embrace, and I gasp.

His hand finds my jaw again, then jerks my mouth up toward his, and he kisses me.

I go limp in his arms, the grip of my hand weakening until the glass tumbles to the ground and whisky spills at our feet.

I sigh into his warm, velvet mouth.

I have kissed and been kissed before, but I've always been too aware of myself in the process. With Theo, all I have to do is feel the wash of euphoria coast over me.

If he can cause euphoria with one kiss, I'm afraid of what he's capable of in the bedroom.

Theo drags his mouth away from mine. "My terms," he rasps, "are this."

I say nothing. I am at his disposal.

"One night. In my bed."

His voice rumbles against my back, vibrations coursing down to my center.

"You let me take control."

My next exhale is a wanting sigh.

"You yield your pleasure to me entirely."

When men have wanted to take control in the past, there was always some level of pent-up aggression. They want to push me down, throw me around, tie me up, show me their dominance. Never has a man expressed his dominance to me like this.

"I won't hurt you. I won't restrain you. But your orgasms are mine."

Orgasm s ? With an ‘s'?

"And we never speak of this night again. Is that all clear, Abigail?"

I wanted him before. But now I need him, my body turning to molten lava under his hands. "Crystal."

I lean in to kiss him, but he dodges me, gripping my hand and pulling. "Come."

I follow him in a daze down the hall of the co-op, the floor creaking under each and every step.

His grip is strong, but not painful.

I am both terrified and more at peace than I've been in a long, long time.

For once, everything is out of my hands and in someone else's.

I don't have to be scrambling to find the next job application or making some sort of excuse for why I haven't been hired. I don't need to wonder about the intricacies of the world or the whys of my feelings. I don't have to judge myself, don't have to wonder why I am not anyone's first choice for anything.

Tonight, I am Theo's first choice.

And I will cherish that for a long time.

Theo's bedroom is crisp and clean. Almost like a hotel room. No personal touches.

That's good. That will help remind me this night is a one-time thing.

I won't have any details to glom onto about his bedroom. It's only a white duvet and wooden furniture. There is art, but it's not hanging on the walls quite yet. Pieces have been leaned up against various walls as if he's planning where things go. Light, airy curtains frame the windows, letting in the New York City glow.

"Go by the window and take off your dress," he instructs me, his voice heavy with desire.

I glance back at him, confusion riddling my brow.

But Theo is not confused.

He lifts his chin just slightly and waits.

So, I go to the window, letting the yellow city light pour across my face.

I turn around to face him, my heart thumping in my chest.

I want to be beautiful for him. Don't want to spoil whatever he sees in me.

But when my clothes are off, he'll see that I'm too thin and bony, that my breasts are barely B-cups, and my torso is straight up and down, boyish rather than womanly.

"You don't have to be scared of me, Abigail."

I find Theo's eyes across the room and though he is cast mostly in shadow, his gaze is worshipful.

And his body is perfect in silhouette, like a comic book superhero in his everyday disguise.

"And if you want to stop–"

"I don't. I don't want to stop." I keep my focus on him as I step out of my shoes. I grab the skirt of my dress and pull it up, until most of my thighs are exposed.

Theo watches. Rapt. The only sound in the room is his breathing. Labored. Like music.

I grab the hem and pull it over my head. I haven't worn a bra because I often don't have to and, yes, the point of the night was to capture his attention.

Once I cast my dress aside, I am left only in a tiny thong.

"My god, Abigail."

I resist covering my chest or trying to hide.

"You're perfect."

My cheeks burn. "You're just being nice."

"I wouldn't tell you anything but the truth."

His words make me shiver.

"What…what now?"

Theo smiles. He starts toward me, rolling up the cuffs of his white button down as he does, exposing his strong forearms.

Once he's before me, he reaches into my hair and pulls out the clip I've used to hold it back.

"That's how I like you," he says almost to himself.

Then, he leans in and presses a kiss to my cheek. He lingers there. It's romantic.

He kisses my other cheek. Then my neck. Each kiss moves lower and lower. My collarbone, the swell of each of my breasts. Neither of us says anything. We don't need to.

Theo falls to his knees before me, kissing my belly, each of my hip bones. He looks up at me, brow pinched in the middle.

His fingers dip into the waistband of my underwear. May I?

I nod, wide-eyed.

Theo pulls my underwear down my legs with care and diligence, helping me step out of them. And when he returns to me, he drags his mouth up the inside of my thigh. "Blimey, you smell amazing."

My stomach flips.

And flips again when his mouth lands on my pussy.

I trip backward against the windowsill, grabbing onto it for balance.

His mouth sends tremors through my belly, tingling arousal turning to insistent pressure.

Theo does not devour voraciously like he's seeking something to prove. He is methodical, which makes me weaker than I've ever been before in the grips of a man. "Fuck…" I sigh. "Fuck, that feels –"

With one hand, he clings to me, his fingers digging into my ass. The other he uses to guide my hand into his hair.

I am tentative with the curls at first, but at his suggestion, I grab harder, tugging at the curls while pushing his face deeper between my legs.

Theo moans against me.

Building pleasure vibrates inside me.

His tongue encircles my clit. Again, again, again.

I tip my head back against the glass and bite down on my lip. "Oh my god, Theo, keep doing that."

He has the gall to laugh, sending splinters of a building orgasm through me.

I gape, a high-pitched whimper escaping from my throat.

Theo hooks his hands around my thighs and works me harder and harder until I have no choice but to split in two.

My body jerks and stutters, hips pressing against his mouth until the orgasm reaches its punching climax.

I cry out, my face contorted in surprise. relief. Ecstasy.

His soft lips suck at my clit until he's sure he's drawn me out to the very end.

I want to slide down the wall, crumple into nothingness.

But we've just gotten started.

Theo hefts me into his arms.

"Bed," he growls.

I cling to him, let him carry me to his bed.

Apparently, his arms aren't only made for six-year-olds, but twenty-six-year-olds too.

He deposits me into the plush bed covers with gentleness and allows me to watch as he undoes his belt and then the closure on his pants. His briefs cling to his hardness.

Oh god. He's huge.

Theo grabs himself and rubs, teeth bearing down into his lower lip with relief. "You'll come when I tell you, all right?"

I nod.

His eyelids lower, a smile on his lips.

He teases me as he pulls the waistband down, revealing the patch of hair on his lower belly, then the base of his cock, and then everything .

It bounces out: even in the dark, I can tell it's red and needy.

Theo grabs the base of his cock and my thigh, guiding me to the end of the bed. "You'll come every time I tell you."

I'm already breathless from my first orgasm. "Every?"

He laughs. "Yes, Abigail, every ."

Theo leans over me, his cock tight against my pubic bone. He guides his lips up my neck to my ear. "You're going to lose count."

I inhale sharply. I've only ever had one orgasm with a man, and I've considered that lucky.

Theo pauses. "Let me get a condom."

I grab onto his biceps.

"No!" I cry out more urgently than I intend.

"It's too much of a risk to–"

"I've got an IUD. I'm clean. I'm–I'm–" I'm practically salivating over what's about to happen. "Please, let me feel you."

Theo's nose nudges mine. "Abigail, don't get carried away."

I loop my legs around him, draw him close so his cock is nestled into the cleft of my pussy. Now he knows just how slick I am, just how much I want him. "Too late. I'm already so far gone."

"Bloody hell."

"Please." I'm not above begging. I start to pepper kisses to his face. "Please, just fuck me."

Our lips find one another's again in a plush, decadent kiss.

Theo growls away from my mouth, "Bloody hell, Abigail."

I am ready to plead some more, but he's already worn down.

He pushes the thick head of his cock into me, just enough to make me gasp, the stretch surprising and sparking.

"You're wet. And you're tight ."

"Give me more. I want more."

And he does. There isn't anything complicated about it.

He fucks me, pushing himself deeper and deeper until he's at the hilt. So deep my body bends and snaps each time, gasps and groans falling out of both of us.

His body is hard, unseen muscles flexing in his chest and arms.

He might be two decades older than me, but he is stronger than any man I've been with.

"That's a good girl," he encourages in his lush accent. "Let me hear you."

I am moaning nonstop as another orgasm encroaches.

Digging my fingernails into his back, I try and remain in reality. "I can't. I can't. I can't."

I don't know what I can't do, but they're the only words I can find.

Theo's voice is sweet and yet makes me more feral for him. "Yes, you can. You can give in. Give into me, darling."

My hips jerk against him, dragging as much of his cock into me as possible until my body is taut with another release.

The sound that comes out of me is ugly, but he relishes it.

I tighten around him, the feeling of fullness growing as I pulse with pleasure.

Yet, he doesn't come. Doesn't join me.

Instead, he slides out, grabs my hip and rolls me onto my belly.

"Go again," he instructs.

I let him take control, let him fuck me from behind.

His cock is impossibly hard, a desperate ridge inside me.

One hand rests on my hip, the other plays with my clit, and it feels like mere moments before I'm coming to ribbons again.

"Theo, Theo, please."

"Stop? You want me to stop?"

I'm seeing stars. I'm dazed. "I want more."

"That's my girl."

Yes. I am his girl. For tonight. And fuck it, for much longer.

I'll break the promise if I have to. I want to be his again and again and again until he's tired of me.

Theo gets onto the bed behind me, on his knees, wraps an arm around my chest and lifts me so I'm straddled over his lap.

His hand clutches my throat but does not squeeze hard enough to cause constriction.

His mouth is next to my ear, breath harsh and hot. "You feel bloody amazing, Abigail."

I lean against him, the buttons of his shirt pressing into my back.

"Better than I ever dreamed." He pulls me down onto his cock again, and I gasp. "You asked me when. When I became interested."

I am skewered by his length, over and over. A beautiful way to die.

Theo pulls my face toward his, says every next word into my mouth. "I've been dreaming about you. Is that a good enough answer?"

I whine, a band of pressure around my pelvis.

"I have dreamt about you every fucking night–" Each word is accented by his thrust. "Ever since I saw you in the aquarium. Is that the answer you wanted?"

I grip his thighs, hard as steel. I nod, a wordless moan.

That's exactly what I wanted to hear.

Abigail a month ago would have been terrified.

Abigail today, in his arms, in his bed, has never wanted anything more.

Nothing . Not a single thing.

"Come again, Abigail. Come on my cock."

I relax every muscle in my body until all my walls are down, and the orgasm crashes through me. Again, I grip him, so tight and hard that maybe I'll never let go of his cock again.

Theo wraps a hand around one of my breasts, buries his face into my neck, and erupts inside me.

His loud grunt tattoos itself on my skin.

He presses his free hand against my pubic bone, tightening my walls as if that were possible.

I come and come and come around him until every bit of him is inside me and nothing exists beyond the confines of our bodies.

Draping my head over his shoulder, I try to catch my breath. "That was…"

Theo kisses my shoulder.

"No past tense, Abigail. I'm not nearly done with you."