Chapter 33 - Freya

Chapter 33

Freya

The time it took to get back to Moonblessed seemed to stretch endlessly.

That was partly because we took a more circuitous route to avoid potential run-ins with Ironwood. It was also due to the fact that neither Rowan nor I had ever learned to drive. So when Flint stopped for breaks, he showed me the basics. It seemed simple enough, of course, but actually taking the wheel, of being the one in charge of a massive hunk of metal careening down the highway? I didn't like it.

Especially when other vehicles barreled down the road on the other side, separated only by two yellow lines of paint. It didn't feel safe.

Heath and I sometimes bantered in my head, and he told me about how his father's manipulative behavior, trying to make him believe his littermates might be in danger because of his choices.

He also let me know about his meeting with the investigators he'd hired… and how little they'd discovered so far. They did have a lead, though. Most wolves from my mother's pack, the Winter Wind, had been killed when Denraider had conquered them, but the investigators believed they knew the location of one living Winter Wind packmate. That was their next stop, which Heath and I fully endorsed.

Through our mate bond, I sensed unease, but every time I pried into it, he evaded my questions. It seemed the mate bond hadn't made Heath as transparent as I'd hoped.

Meanwhile, Rowan seemed content to stay in his wolf form in the truck bed, and he didn't even shift to eat with us. Instead, he would wander off the highway to hunt. Flint assured me this had always been Rowan's way, but he felt distant to me.

By the time we were half a day's drive from Moonblessed, my composure had started to crack. Rowan had been the one most resistant to becoming my mate, and now? Was he having second thoughts?

So, when Flint pulled over to stretch his legs, I jumped from the cab, took shelter behind the truck, and shed my clothes. Rowan had been able to keep me at arm's length when we'd first met by remaining in wolf form. But now that I could shift, he couldn't get away that easily.

He'd already disappeared into the woods by the time I fell to all four paws, and I tore after him.

"Rowan, why are you avoiding me?" I called through the pack bond.

Even though I couldn't see him, I knew he could hear me. He couldn't have gotten that far away yet.

"Freya, don't go far," Flint's words echoed in my mind, but I didn't sense him following me through the woods. "Your upcoming heat could still draw unwanted attention, even though you're twice mated."

I let out a low growl, annoyed that an upcoming heat impeded me, as usual. Still, I headed in the direction I'd seen Rowan going.

"You can't hide from your packmates, Rowan."

"Freya…"

"I know talking isn't your forte, big guy, but if you don't tell me what's—"

"I know I scare you, little lightning wolf."

I sensed his looming presence before I saw or heard him. His golden eyes glittered at me through the forest, and I approached warily.

"Are you talking about what happened with the Bloody Dawn pack?"

"Yes."

I thought back to that moment, when the rogue came barreling down on me. "I wasn't scared of you, Rowan. I…"

My ears picked up the sound of lightning crackling, and I looked over my shoulder to see more lightning in my fur than ever before. It made me shiver with fear. This, more than multiple mates, proved I was no ordinary wolf.

Maybe it was hard to separate fact from fiction when myths were involved, but clearly, I possessed some kind of powers. According to Hank, these powers came from my wolf… not my witch side.

"See? Your lightning sees me as a threat. I'm more wolf than a man, and you shouldn't feel obliga—"

"Rowan," I growled. "Don't even finish that sentence. I'm with you because I want to be. Because my wolf wants to be. You more than anyone know that our wolves are us, not separate entities."

"We should head back to the truck." Rowan loped through the forest back the way we'd come, and I followed. "We'll arrive to Moonblessed soon enough."

"You're just trying to avoid me. Maybe for this leg of the journey, I'll ride in wolf form with you in the truck bed so we can talk."

His mental sigh felt full of long-held frustration, and he paused beside the low-hanging branches of a spruce tree.

"I never should have let that rogue get so close to you, Freya. I failed you."

"Rowan… I'm fine. He was unpredictable, but everything turned out okay. I would've liked to ask him some questions, but…" I gave a mental shrug.

"I tried not to let my wolf get too attached to you, but when you were in danger—"

"You protected me, Rowan." I tried to reassure him, but I wasn't sure what exactly was bothering him. Why had this caused a rift between us?

"I failed you. I scared you. And I'm afraid of failing you again. Of hurting you."

"What do you mean?"

"It's… I don't know how to be your mate, Freya. Your… Bonded."

He thought he scared me, but really it seemed to be more of the opposite. Every time I took a step forward with him, I felt like I was approaching a wild animal that might disappear back into the forest at any moment.

"I'll admit I don't know much about that," I said slowly in my mind, trying to find the words that wouldn't scare him away. "When the runes appeared on Gage and me… it was a surprise. Together, we can all learn more about how witches bond and what that might mean for our pack."

Rowan paused, his hackles raised, making him look even bigger and fiercer. "What if we do, and…"

"How about we just take it one step at a time?" I asked. "I'm not asking for your bite. I won't, not until you're ready to give it."

"I've never… I don't…" He sighed. "It's complicated."

"Everything's complicated, Rowan!" I huffed in frustration. "My aunt bottled up my witch magic when I was a child and then tried to take it from me as an adult. She cursed me a second time, so Ironwood is still after me because Luka thinks I'm his mate. And when my wolf finally appeared, she showed up with lightning in her fur! I'm some kind of different wolf that legends only hint at." My entire life had been complicated, basically since I was born. So, if Rowan didn't like complications… "If you can't be with me because it's complicated, then maybe we shouldn't be together at all."

As soon as the words left my head and traveled along our mental link, I wanted to claw them back.

The big wolf went still. I wanted him to disagree, to argue with me. His silence broke my heart.

"Flint would have left the Howling Echo if that's what it took to run by my side," I said quietly into the pack bond. "Heath promised to follow me anywhere. Gage… well, he conquered another pack to keep me safe."

"I don't know how to be like them with you."

"I don't need you to be like them," I sighed with exasperation. "I need you because you're not like them. The Howling Echo belongs together, each of us different in our own ways, and the rest of us have figured out how to make it work. Why aren't you willing to try? To fight for us?"

Rowan's golden eyes stared at me. "You're right… I'm not ready to give you my bite, or be bitten by you. Maybe I never will be, because I'm not sure I can bear a witch's mark on me."

He turned and loped back through the woods toward the highway. With my heart broken and bleeding, I followed. Silently, I got dressed and climbed into the cab of the truck beside Flint.

He took my hand and kissed it, giving me a sympathetic glance. "He'll come around."

I shook my head. "I don't know anymore, Flint."

He put the truck in gear, leaving me alone with my thoughts, but with our fingers laced together. Why did it hurt so much that Rowan had withdrawn from me again? Why couldn't I be content with the mates I already had?

Eventually, my sadness tempered into a numbness I couldn't shake off. But when we finally rolled through the Moonblessed gates, the sight of the tall, brown-skinned, dark-haired woman who waited just inside had me cheering right up.

"Shante!" I jumped out of the truck and into her waiting arms. "It's so good to see you!"

"I wanted to surprise you." She grinned and squeezed me tight. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Thanks to you," I said, pulling back to look her in the eye and thank her properly.

As I did so, I noticed she'd rebraided her hair in a slightly different style. Only a few tight curls managed to escape. It reminded me of how long it had been since I'd seen her.

"I'm glad you made it safely back inside Moonblessed packlands before Ironwood could catch up to you."

She grinned. "We fooled ‘em good!"

"We have so much to catch up on."

Less than twenty minutes later I was sitting on Shante's couch devouring a plate of beef tips and rice.

"Tired of trail mix on the road?" she laughed.

I nodded. "While I'm stuffing my face, it's your turn to talk. What's been happening?"

Shante shrugged. "Life goes on." Then she snapped her fingers. "Oh! The alpha pair exiled Tork to the wildlands. Turns out he was the one who tipped off Ironwood that you were here, and Hugo and Idori named him a traitor to the pack."

My eyes widened. "They did?"

Shante nodded solemnly. "And none of his cronies tried to stand up for him. In the end, he was left out in the wildlands alone. And since he's a beta… I doubt he lasted long."

"You think he's dead?" I gasped.

She shrugged. "The wildlands isn't a kind place to spend even one night. Let alone the rest of your life."

"Tell me about it," I grumbled. "How's Brielle?"

"She's fine. I'm sure she'd like to see you. She was worried when we heard about the wolfsbane and everything."

She eyed my neck, and I could tell she was bursting at the seams to ask me about the mate mark. I finally set down my fork and confirmed her suspicions.

"Gage claimed me. Has he arrived yet, do you know?"

Her eyes widened in shock, probably from the fact that I'd shown up here with Flint and Rowan, not the alpha who'd claimed me. She shook her head, still in stunned silence.

I grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it down so she could see the two runes under my collarbone. "Brielle and I have a lot to talk about. Because I also bit Heath, and he claimed me back. Heath and Gage are both my Bonded and have the same rune markings."

"Girl…" Shante covered her mouth with a hand, and I noticed her freshly painted cyan nails.

"Flint and Rowan are my mates, too. My wolf ran with theirs under the Harvest Moon. We just haven't bitten each other yet."

I refused to admit out loud that Rowan had his doubts. Hopefully Flint was right, and Rowan would come around.

Shante clapped her hands together as her mouth fell open in shock. "You've been busy!"

"A little." I laughed, feeling surprisingly vulnerable. Shante's opinion mattered to me, and I didn't want her to think that I was… how had Hank put it? Stealing all the guys?

Shante shook her head with a wry smile. "Mmm mmm mmm! Four hot alphas! You are the luckiest bitch on the planet."

I chuckled. At the moment, with Heath staying behind and Rowan's doubts, it didn't exactly feel like it, but I was glad Shante approved.

"Wait… so this means… you can shift!"

I smiled at the happy look on Shante's face. She was a true friend. She shared in my joys, and looked out for me when I needed her to. She'd probably saved my life by helping confuse my scent trail so Ironwood couldn't follow me into the wildlands.

"Yes, Pack Alpha Hugo was right. I just needed to be patient and let my wolf come out when she was ready to. I can't wait to tell him, but I'll wait until Gage is here so all the pack alphas can talk."

"Then we can run together!" She grabbed her phone from the couch cushion and started texting. "Let me see when Brielle wants us to come over."

"You two hang out a lot?"

"When we're not busy with other things." Shante set down her phone, then leaned back. "So, spill. How is it, having so many alpha lovers tripping over themselves to please you? Oooh, do they get all territorial and fight to decide who claims their spot in your bed each night?"

I laughed. "Not quite. Actually, they get along really well with each other. You wouldn't expect that from alphas, but…"

"The Howling Echo is a different breed." She nodded. "You lucked out, finding your way to them."

Her phone dinged, and she picked it up. "You wanna go see Brielle this afternoon? She's up for it."

"I just have to let Flint and Rowan know first."

Shante grabbed my plate and dumped it into her sink. "Let's go."