15. Stephanie

15

STEPHANIE

T he soft light filtered through the window, rousing me from my restless sleep. Pulling me from my dreamless slumber into the hazy realm of early-morning consciousness. My heart beat a steady rhythm of anticipation, the weight of the day's coming events pressing on me like a heavy blanket.

Today was the day, the culmination of weeks of preparation and training. Phantom, my beloved horse, would make his debut on the racing circuit. The thought of it filled me with a heady mix of excitement and apprehension, my stomach knotting with nerves as I contemplated the challenges that lay ahead.

Turning to glance at the clock beside the bed, I saw that it was barely past five in the morning, the world outside still cloaked in the soft embrace of pre-dawn darkness. The hours stretched out before me, each moment laden with the weight of anticipation. I began to prepare myself mentally for the day ahead.

Beside me, Ashlyn slept on, her breathing steady and even. She was a picture of serenity , in contrast to the turmoil of my racing thoughts. Watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest, I found a momentary respite from the storm raging within me. A fleeting glimpse of tranquility amid the chaos.

With a heavy sigh, I reached out to touch her, my fingers brushing against the warmth of her skin as I traced the contours of her face with feather-light caresses. It was a simple gesture, born of a desire for connection in the quiet stillness of the morning, but it filled me with the sense of calm that I desperately needed during this moment of uncertainty.

I continued to watch her sleep, a wave of affection washing over me, banishing the lingering traces of anxiety that had plagued me since the early hours of the morning. Slumbering in the soft glow of dawn, Ashlyn was like a beacon of light in the darkness. A reminder that no matter what challenges lay ahead, I was not facing them alone. With a soft sigh, I leaned in closer, pressing a fleeting kiss to her forehead before reluctantly pulling away. I felt a soft stirring beside me, the warmth of her presence drawing me closer even as I reluctantly pulled away. Before I could fully retreat, Ashlyn's lips meet mine in a tender kiss. A silent gesture of reassurance that sent a shiver of comfort coursing through me.

In that moment, as Ashlyn held me close, I felt a profound sense of appreciation for the strength and resilience she had brought into my life. Her touch had been a lifeline, grounding me in the here and now. Reminding me that I was not alone in facing the uncertainties that lay ahead.

"It's going to be okay," she whispered against my lips, her voice a gentle murmur that soothed the anxieties swirling within me. "Both Phantom and I are ready for this, Stephanie." Her words helped ease the knot of tension that had settled in the pit of my stomach. With Ashlyn's unwavering support, I felt a renewed sense of determination welling up within me. A quiet resolve that we would face whatever challenges might come our way. She held me close and I drew strength from her presence, finding solace in the warmth of her embrace. With a grateful sigh, I leaned into Ashlyn's touch, savoring the comfort and reassurance she offered.

I drove my old Bronco down the winding country roads, the familiar hum of its engine providing a comforting backdrop to the whirlwind of emotions swirling within me. Alone with my thoughts, I welcomed the solitude, using the quiet drive to piece together the fragments of my scattered mind.

Nervous anticipation gnawed at my insides, creating a tangle of anxiety and excitement as I contemplated the day ahead. The prospect of being surrounded by so many people, each with their own expectations and judgments, sent a shiver of apprehension down my spine. Despite my years in the army, the memories of past traumas still lingered, casting a shadow of doubt over my confidence.

But it wasn't just my own fears that weighed heavily on my mind. As I glanced in the rearview mirror, I saw the horse trailer behind me, carrying Ashlyn and Phantom to the race. The thought of Phantom, my beloved companion, facing the unknown filled me with unease. I

prayed that he would remain calm and collected, and that he wouldn't succumb to the chaos and confusion of the crowded event.

And then there was Ashlyn. My heart ached with a mixture of longing and concern as I thought of her, riding alongside Phantom in the horse trailer. I knew she was capable, strong and confident, but the

nagging voice of doubt whispered in the back of my mind, taunting me with the possibility of disaster.

I wanted to believe that everything would be okay, that Ashlyn and Phantom would emerge victorious, but the fear of the unknown lingered like a dark cloud on the horizon. With each passing mile, I clung to the hope that somehow, against all odds, we would emerge unscathed from the trials that lay ahead.

As I arrived at the local derby race event, a wave of energy washed over me. The air was electric with excitement and anticipation, while the sprawling grounds were alive with activity. People and horses milled around, their voices mingling in a cacophony of chatter and laughter.

The atmosphere was charged with a sense of camaraderie and competition, as riders and spectators alike gathered to witness the thrilling spectacle unfold before them. Brightly colored tents lined the perimeter of the racetrack, offering an array of refreshments and merchandise to eager betters.

And the racetrack itself was a sight to behold, a sweeping expanse of emerald green stretching out before me, bordered by rows of wooden fencing and adorned with colorful banners fluttering in the breeze. The scent of freshly cut grass mingled with the aroma of hot dogs and popcorn, creating a sensory symphony that enveloped me in a warm embrace.

As I made my way through the crowd, I could feel the rising energy. An excitement that crackled in the air like static electricity. Spectators lined the grandstands, their cheers and applause echoing off the walls as the first race of the day was set up. Everywhere I looked, I saw the glint of leather and the gleam of sleek coats as horses and jockeys prepared for their moment in the spotlight. The tension was a palpable, tangible force that hung heavy in the air. Competitors steeled themselves for the upcoming challenges.

Despite my nerves, there was a sense of exhilaration coursing through my veins. A thrill of anticipation that quickened my pulse and set my heart racing. As I took in the sights and bustling sounds of the event, I couldn't help but feel a surge of pride at being a part of something so vibrant and alive.

I approached Ashlyn and Phantom with a mixture of pride and anxiety. Ashlyn wore the regulation white breeches and boots along with the Blue Jockey silks I had chosen and ordered. A beautiful azure like the sky above our ranch. She looked so very different to the day to day cowgirl Ashlyn. Ashlyn was busy checking Phantom's tack, her focus unwavering as she prepared him for the race ahead. I waited patiently for a moment, allowing her to finish her preparations before gently reaching out to touch her arm.

"Good luck out there," I said softly, my voice tinged with emotion. Ashlyn turned to me, her eyes meeting mine with a mixture of determination and gratitude. Without a word, she leaned in, pressing

a tender kiss to my lips before turning back to Phantom, her resolve renewed. She stood facing his tiny racing saddle and looked to me for a second raising her right foot. I went immediately to leg her up onto Phantom as I had so many times before and she flew up as light and graceful as ever and swung her right leg over his back. They were ready to head down to the start. I glanced at them one more time before turning away, my footsteps carrying me towards the owners' section of the grandstand. I took my seat among the other spectators, feeling the heavy weight of anticipation. From my new vantage point, I had a clear view of the racetrack below, and the horses and riders moving gracefully across the lush, green grass. The air was alive with excitement, the crowd buzzing with anticipation for the first race of the day.

I watched anxiously as Ashlyn and Phantom took their position at the start, Phantom so far co-operating and ready for the challenge ahead. He seemed unphased really by everything around him. The other horses, the noise, the crowd. As though all my fears had been for nothing. As though he was born to do this. My heart pounded as the starting bell rang.