13. Chapter 13

After eating, I leave Elsa to set up the security in the apartment, while bickering with Lake and Wilder. The guys are talking quietly with Kallen, and I should probably be concerned with whatever they are discussing, but I"m feeling desperate for a shower now that I have some clean clothes. I sneak away to the bathroom and shut the door behind me. Turning on the water and stripping off Nix's shirt, I get in. The water cascading over my body is heaven to my tense muscles.

I should be scared, worried about what could happen to the guys now that I have completely disregarded all the warnings, but I"m just tired. Seeing them and being with them was a painful reminder that without them, my life was adrift in a sea of meaningless tasks with no real feeling of belonging. Nothing felt like home except them. The heat of the water beats down on me, and I sigh, leaning against the wall directly in the spray.

After what feels like not enough time, I turn the water off and step out of the shower, grabbing a towel to dry myself. I"m not sure where we go from here. I"m not sure what the first steps are to get free of this shadow over my life, but I do look forward to doing it next to them.

I dress in a pair of leggings and tank, carrying the sweatshirt out with me when I leave the bathroom.

Walking back out into the open living area, I hear the tail end of whatever sniping Lake and Elsa are still doing, with Lake telling Elsa to just "Let it go". She snaps back at him, "If I had those sort of powers, I would freeze your hand to your dick and find out how you like being told to "let it go"."

Who needs a contract out on my life when my own team is going to be the death of me? I can"t help but laugh at her response as I continue into the kitchen in search of more coffee.

There"s a choking sound from the dining table, and turning, I see Rick"s eyes wide as he takes in all the skin I have on display, including all my tattoos. "Yeah, I can see what caused the caveman now," he quips, and I duck my head with a grin as I start working on some coffee.

Elsa appears to have put Wilder to work putting cameras up outside the door held open by Nikolai. Beck is only half paying attention to whatever they are discussing with Kallen as he throws the occasional scowl in Elsa's direction, but I already know it's about the computer and not her; he is missing his own tech after it was taken by the FBI.

I hum as I take my first sip of the coffee before wandering back over to the table again. "How are you doing, Frostie?" I ask when I'm by Elsa's side.

"Do you really like this team? Do you have a second favorite team also, because I'm afraid I may stab a couple in this one…" she snaps at me, her eyes still focused completely on the computer in front of her.

If they weren't, she may have seen Nikolai and Wilder's eyes zero in on her. It wasn't because they were startled or afraid. No, those two were a little too similar to Rick. And I don't think the sweet pixie could handle their complete attention.

After a moment she huffs, knowing I'm not going to answer her. "It's almost done. I will have the feeds sent to your cell phone also."

Lake has now joined the discussion with Kallen and the guys, so I take a seat next to Elsa. Placing the coffee on the table, I thank her for setting up the security for us.

"When you finish that, I need you to do something else for me," I tell her, forcing myself to move past the need to never show my vulnerability. "I should have asked you to look into this ages ago, but I thought I had given up by the time we were introduced."

Her typing slows, and she looks at me curiously, while the murmuring around us comes to a stop. "Anything," she responds simply, her attention fully on me.

"I"m not sure if there is actually any way to find this out, but I have received some letters over the last twelve years, and I don"t know who they are from," I explain, hearing a slight tremor in my voice. "Letters that threatened the men I love."

Her eyes flicker in their direction before returning to mine, understanding the gravity of the situation. "Of course, I"ll make it a priority," she responds, her tone serious.

"There was also an incident twelve years ago, a car crash that was caused by a device planted in the car," I continue, feeling a lump form in my throat.

Her eyes widen almost comically, and she stutters, "I, umm, I don"t really know much about bombs or anything like that."

Kallen steps closer to her, offering reassurance. "We do. Just send what you can find to us, and we will look at it for you, little one," he says softly, his presence a comforting one.

Slowly, Elsa nods as though momentarily forgetting her feud with Lake and Wilder before going back to typing on her laptop. It doesn"t take long before all the security is installed and feeding through to my phone, and I begin giving her as much detail as I can about the events of the last twelve years. Talking about it the second time's a little easier, but still hard. She makes a lot of notes and sits for a moment, frowning at the laptop in front of her.

"I"m going to need to do this at home. I have bigger and faster computers there, and they are a lot more off-grid, as you know," she says, looking at me for permission.

I nod before suggesting, "That"s fine. If you"re able to do that from your computers there, are you able to perhaps leave that one here? Beck is having tech withdrawal, I think." I motion toward her computer before glancing at him to find him scowling at me. I grin and look back at Elsa, who looks slightly uncertain.

"If there was anyone else besides you that I would ever contact to hack a government agency for me, it would be him," I reassure her, trying to ease any doubts she may have.

Her focus shifts to Beck, her expression filled with curiosity, and I can"t help but wonder what thoughts are going through her mind.

Finally nodding, Elsa continues typing for a few moments before turning the blank-looking screen toward Beck. I"m surprised she didn"t protest more than she did. "Was there anything else you wanted from us, darlin"?" Lake asks me, and I"m surprised to see a touch of color rise in Elsa"s cheeks. However, I don"t mention it as I turn toward them.

"No, I think we are good for the moment," I answer as Elsa stands, slinging her bag across her back. Kallen nods and glances at Elsa. "We will get her home safely," he states simply, and when she opens her mouth to protest, he cuts her off. "Non-negotiable."

Elsa huffs and I know she wants to snap at him but she bites her tongue. I watch as they head out of the apartment, wondering how long it will be before she stabs one of them.

I look around at the guys, Beck is already working on the borrowed laptop, a scowl on his face and his fingers flying across the keys. He completely ignores me. Even after I laid myself bare for him, he has barely acknowledged my words.

Nix has already disappeared into the bathroom and I can hear the shower turning on. I try not to imagine the same body that fucked me only hours before all wet and soapy on the other side of the door. Rick also grabs a set of clothes and throws a wink at me as he walks away toward the main bedroom and I'm assuming the ensuite within.

Kacey is standing by the wall of glass, looking out at the city skyline, lost in thought. So I focus back on Beck, sitting across the table from me.

"What are you doing?" I ask softly, my voice barely a whisper in the stillness of the room.

He glances up at me briefly before returning his attention to the screen in front of him, his scowl deepening. "I"m making sure that nothing has come of the assassination trip you just had to make. I"m also making sure the FBI aren"t about to come charging in here and they didn"t find anything of you in that apartment," he growls, his fingers flying across the keyboard.

I shrug, feeling a pang of guilt. "It won"t matter if they find me there. Jessica recognized me on the way out. My identities will hold up. One is even a military veteran who served her country proudly. They won"t find anything. It would take a lot of deep dark web digging to connect any of my Taipan properties to my name."

His gaze flicks up to mine, his eyes intense, filled with a dark emotion that sends a thrill through me. "I"m also looking for the asshole that stole twelve fucking years from us. Go cuddle up to Kacey and stop distracting me because right now all I want to do is cause someone a lot of pain," he says, his tone laced with anger and frustration.

I open my mouth to speak, but he holds up a hand, cutting me off. "I"m riding too close to the edge right now. Don"t talk. I don"t have it in me to play nice at all. Why do you think Rick has gone for a shower?" he adds, his focus returning to the computer.

Feeling dismissed, I rise from the table, giving him the space he needs to work through his anger. Despite the urge to stay, I know it"s best to give him some distance for now. If causing pain is what he needs, I would have accepted it willingly, just to see the anger fade from his eyes.