Nineteen

Looking around the small cell, I move to sit on the bed, a hiss leaving my lips when I do. Slowly lying on my uninjured side, I cradle my arm and curl my knees up. I'm exhausted, both mentally and physically, although, it could be the blood loss. I pull my hand away, seeing only a little bit of fresh blood on my hand this time. It seems to be stopping at least. My eyes lift to the overhead lights. I just want to sleep.

"Breakfast is done!" I skip down the stairs, my hand on the banister as I use it to swing around the corner. Nana is dishing my plate like always and I watch her drop something into my orange juice, stirring it quickly.

"What is that?"

She jumps at my voice, her hand clutching her chest. "You scared me, Hadley!" She waves toward the table, dropping her spoon into the sink.

"What did you put in my drink, Nana?"

She doesn't immediately turn around to look at me, giving me her back as she grabs my cup and plate before walking over to set them on the table. "It was just a vitamin. Stop being so suspicious." She props her hands on her hips and motions her head for me to sit.

"Show me the bottle."

"Oh, will you sto—"

"Now!" Her face pales at my tone, her eyes widening. "Show me the bottle, Nana."

She stares at me a moment, like she's not sure if she wants to keep fighting me on this or not. Eventually, she moves, opening the cabinet with the canned goods. She pulls out a can of carrots, lifting the lid off to pull out an orange pill bottle. She sets it on the counter instead of handing it to me, her eyes staying on the floor as she sets the can on the counter as well.

"You said I didn't need those. You said there was nothing wrong with being different, that it was good to be different."

"It is, honey, but sometimes we need some help and that's okay too."

"You promised!" I step toward her, and she stays put, her eyes finding my face. "You promised you'd never make me take those!"

"Honey."

She grabs onto my arm, and I jerk away, unintentionally throwing her off of me. Her foot slips out from under her, and I see her falling, but don't try to catch her. Her head smacks against the edge of the table with a loud crack, her body slumping to the floor.

"Nana?" I reach out for her, gingerly touching her leg. She barely hit her head. She'll be fine. She has to be fine. "Nana? Please get up." She's all I have.

I wake up to the door being opened and force myself to sit up on shaking limbs. A doctor and three officers come in, the door sliding shut behind them. The doctor speaks first, pushing his glasses up his nose before pulling gloves from his pockets and putting them on. "I'm going to need to cut your shirt to get a better view of your wound, so you're going to need to be restrained."

Running my tongue over my teeth, I nod, slowly shifting back down onto my bed, facing the ceiling. Two officers secure my wrists, hooking my cuffs to the bed with a designated hook. The third secures my feet, the doctor standing back until they're done. They switch places, the doctor moving forward, and I stare at my reflection in his glasses, glaring up at the pale face staring back at me. It feels like an eternity that he pokes and prods at my shoulder, but eventually it's cleaned and sewn shut with a patch taped on top. The doctor leaves the cell first, followed by an officer who comes back with a new uniform that he tosses at my feet while the other unclips me. He eyes me as he removes the cuffs from my feet, indecision painting his features as he reaches for my wrists. I raise them closer to him but give him no comforting gestures that I won't do anything. He pauses only briefly, eyeing the officer that's standing in the doorway staring at me, daring me to make the wrong move. Once my cuffs fall loose, the man in front of me backs away quickly, and I watch all three leave without a single word, locking the cell door behind them.

I hear a shouted, "Lights out," before my cell goes mostly black, a small yellow-hued security light on the wall casting shadows along the floor. Struggling, I pull my ruined shirt the rest of the way off, tossing it onto the floor to replace with my new one. I don't bother with my pants, shifting to move back down on my side. Closing my eyes, I try to banish the thoughts that want to linger about Nana. Of all the things I've done, she's the only one I wish I could take back. She filled a spot in my twisted, tarred heart that could never be replaced. I'm lonely without her. Or at least I was until Rhys. Now I have neither of them. I feel a tear leak from the corner of my eye, and I brush it away with my fingers.

"Why are you crying?"

Opening my eyes, I blink to get them adjusted, my heart pounding when they fall on Rhys. I'm confused, my voice a whisper in the dark room. "Because I'm sad." He pushes off the wall and walks over to me, the heels of his sneakers scuffing along the floor as he does. Crouching, he rests his arms on the bed in front of my face and drops his chin to rest on them. "How are you here, butterfly?"

His breath puffs from his lips, licking along the seam of mine as I blink at him. "Don't you get it, weirdo?" He lifts his chin, reaching out to grab the back of my head. He's looking at me like he can see the stars in my dark, like he could this whole time and I was the one who couldn't see his. His lips sink into mine, pressing me into him with reassuring fingertips. Breaking the connection of our lips, he lets me go. "I never left."