Chapter 13

13

With a push, they flipped the switch and Santa’s workshop lit up as the Christmas lights strung around the workshop and on the roof came on. Cath let out a breath she hadn’t even realized she had been holding and smiled, watching the children’s faces glow with excitement. Cameras flashed from the photographers around the room, including the ones pointed at her and Kris. Cath surprised herself; instead of feeling exposed, she played along, leaning into Kris and letting them get several good photos of the two of them holding the switch and another of them cuddled together casually.

A scant moment later, a door opened from the back of the studio and a jolly looking Santa Claus burst out with a “Ho-ho-ho!” He ambled over and sat down in the chair as the children began to form a queue with their parents to speak with him. The chaos became more controlled as they waited excitedly.

The bulk of their job done, Cath and Kris began to wander the room and mingle with the children who were waiting for the line to clear for Santa and partaking in the other activities available. As Kris introduced her to the families, Cath got the feeling this wasn’t a fleeting meet up; he knew about the children’s medical conditions, asked how the families were faring and if they needed anything. It was touching to see how genuine he was, how much he cared for each child’s well-being. Cath felt a swell of pride and love for him so intense, she had to close her eyes and ground herself. Watching him play with the children, and generally turn into a giant goofball was turning her soft and it seemed she had little ability to control the feeling.

As she found her footing and was able to read the room, Kris wandered off to play video games with some of the older children and she was left to mingle. She watched as he slid down into the bean bag chair with a sigh and grabbed a controller. Cath wondered how much of the activity was chosen so he could let his still aching body rest for a moment, this had to be an exhausting endeavor for someone who was still healing overall.

She turned her attention away and hunkered down by one of the activity tables, helping some of the children make their own Christmas ornaments with beads and glitter, and before she knew it, an hour and a half had passed. She was so engrossed in helping a little girl patiently string red and green beads onto wire that she almost didn’t notice Jennifer come up to her until she was standing at the edge of the table.

“They are ready for you and Kris, anytime you guys want to head up to the sixth floor.” She smiled at the little girl and pulled a chair over. “Why don’t I take over here for you, I could brush up on my beading skills.”

Cath began to look for Kris and found him waist deep in the ball pit, playing catch with his good hand with a few of the smaller children. Standing and stretching her legs, she ambled over to the pit and stood carefully at the edge, determined he wasn’t going to pull her in. They’d never make it out again with both of them flailing around in the plastic spheres.

“Jennifer said we can head to the next floor anytime we want, although I have no idea what that actually entails,” she informed him.

“It means we have to gracefully make our exit.” Kris tossed the ball he was holding to a little boy across the pit and began to hoist himself out. He extended a hand and Cath grasped it, helping him steady himself on his feet. “We have more work to do. Come on, follow me.”

Cath followed Kris out of the room, waving goodbye to the children as they went and followed him to the elevator in the lobby. Alone for a moment, she slipped into his arms and pressed her lips to his quickly, now that she could without little eyes watching them.

“What was that for?” he asked when they parted.

“Absolutely no reason.” Cath leaned her head on his shoulder, watching as the numbers went up and they ascended to their destination. For once, she was glad the elevator was dim so he couldn’t fully see her face. Her emotions were firing a mile a minute and she was trying hard to maintain her cool demeanor.

How was it he can be so frustrating one minute, and so sweet the next? And why can’t I just tell him I love him without feeling like it’s going to fuck things up?

She closed her eyes, taking in the reassuring wall of his body next to hers. He had let her in tonight, the man who’d lived his life like an open book had shown her a secret chapter, one where he had guarded the pages for their own protection, and she still couldn’t even tell him how she felt about him without her throat closing up like it was full of sand. She could feel her mood going broody and quickly checked herself; she’d be damned if she ruined this night by letting her anxieties get the better of her. Cath gave herself a mental shake and decided to reframe the night’s activities, treat them the same way she would approach an OP, and get to work, where she knew she could maintain control of the outcome.

The elevator doors opened, and they stepped out into a world created for children. Games and toys lined the shelves as far as Cath could see, along with stuffed animals and art supplies. An aisle of LEGO and other building blocks dominated one end of the room and another of sporting equipment was just as large. In one corner stood a check out desk with three staff members behind it, along with empty shopping carts.

Kris steered them in that direction and grabbed a cart, passing it off to her. “Here, you drive. My shoulder is starting to hurt.”

“Give me a SITREP update?” Cath asked as they started down an aisle. “What are we shopping for? Anything the kids need badly?”

From the look on his face, she could tell he was pleased she was so on board right away and got the picture of what they were doing. “For all the kids that could make it tonight, there are just as many who can’t leave the hospital. They may be too sick, they may have compromised immune systems, or undergoing treatments that keep them in bed. We’re shopping for their Christmas morning, so they can have gifts to open at the hospital.”

“Is there anything in particular that’s really good?” Cath stopped and added one of the first things she saw, a large stuffed teddy bear. Kris reached past her and added a stuffed dolphin and then almost as an afterthought, a stuffed dog as well.

“Things they can do in bed, puzzles, board games, LEGOs. They also encourage anything educational because the kids may be missing school for treatment.” Kris added a stack of board games to the cart and Cath saw Monopoly, Blokus and Connect4 among others.

“Kris, this is incredibly sweet,” Cath scanned the shelves and added a Lite Brite to the pile followed by a LeapPad. “How long have you been putting this together?”

“This is the ninth year,” Kris ducked his head and surprisingly thought he looked slightly embarrassed. “Jennifer asked for my help originally, she’s been a friend of the family forever, and once I got into it, I found I really liked being able to help.”

“And you’ve never said anything to anyone about it?” The Kris she had known for years would normally have been singing his own good deeds from the walls; this just didn’t seem like him. They reached the end of an aisle, started down another and found themselves in the land of dolls. Cath scanned the available toys and settled on an American Girl doll while Kris began to ransack the Barbie section.

“When I first started doing this, my manager wanted to use it to the fullest and I wouldn’t let him.” He sighed and Cath could see he was self-conscious about what he was telling her. “I was afraid if people found out, it would make me look soft, like I was uncool.”

“And what changed?” Cath pulled another American Doll girl off the shelf and added it to the growing pile in the cart.

“I got to know the kids, the families.” Kris leaned on the cart, staring at one of the dolls they had just added. “They’re fighters like us, Cath. I got involved, I started a program so the kids could come to the studio lot and see how movies are made, we do an arts program in the summer, movie nights at the hospital.”

“And now, instead of protecting your image, you’re protecting the kids.” Cath surmised.

“Exactly,” Kris moved the cart down the aisle idly, pulling out his phone taking a picture of a large dollhouse. Cath had a funny feeling some lucky kid was going to wake up to that waiting for them on Christmas morning. “Now, I keep it quiet because I don’t want people to think I do it for publicity, not even for a second. I even keep close tabs on the photos taken, they go to the families and a select few go on the hospital's website. These kids deserve a hell of a lot better than to be exposed like that.”

“You continually surprise me, you know that?” Cath shook her head as they reached the end of an aisle and turned down another.

“Babe, sometimes I even surprise myself.” Kris scoffed at himself. “And this was definitely one of those times, but I don’t regret it. Maybe doing this was just my infinitesimal way of trying to be a better person, even when I wasn’t thinking about it.”

“Or maybe you were always a good person, you just needed the right people around you to help bring it out.” Cath grabbed several toy bows off a shelf and held them up to scrutinize them. She tested the tension on the bow string expertly and checked the rubber suction cups on the tips of the arrows that accompanied each set. “What do you think of these? You know if I grabbed these and then got the kids Walkie Talkies, we could help them set up a communication network so they could play together.”

“Oh, the pediatric nurses are going to love you.” Kris cocked his head a moment, considering. “Grab at least six sets.”

“Roger that,” Cath loaded them into the cart with a giggle and they moved on to the LEGO aisle.

“How about these?” Cath held up various LEGO sets while Kris was putting models of both the Batmobile and Ecto-1 in the buggy. “We’ve got a castle, a fire station and the Millennium Falcon.”

“Perfect.” Kris grabbed a box above her head. “I know a couple of the older kids really like the complex sets. They have a club where they put them together when they can. Let’s get the one that looks like the T-Rex as well, they’ll love it.”

Cath grabbed a set that looked like a coral reef and held it up in surprise, “Oh look at this one!” She set it in the cart and began rooting through the shelves for the extra pieces that went with it while Kris began scouting for sets for the younger children further down the aisle.

In just a short while, their first car was full, and they returned to the front to grab another while the clerks began to ring things in, in advance. This was repeated several times over the next hour until they had left three full carts at the front and eventually returned with their fourth and last. The clerks had been busy putting through the toys ahead of time so by the time that they had finished with the last cart, all that had to be done was to tally the final bill and cash out.

“I still can’t believe you grabbed a chemistry set,” Kris shook his head in amusement. “If we hear about a kid blowing up the pediatric ward, it’s on you.”

“You grabbed action figures of yourself,” Cath pointed out. “At least I went with something educational.”

“And I went for something totally awesome, so I agree to disagree.” Kris leaned on the checkout counter and began to fill out a delivery sheet for the order.

“Who wraps these?” Cath asked, casually picking up a box of Walkie Talkies out of a cart and checking their distance range.

“Jennifer has a squad waiting and ready.” Kris assured her. “There is a load of volunteers who’ll spend the next few days wrapping gifts. I’d offer to help but these guys are professionals, the wrap job always looks awesome.”

“So, what now?” Cath asked. “Now that the shopping is done.”

“To start this,” Kris took out his wallet and passed the clerk his credit card casually.

Cath chanced to look at the cash register total and quickly looked away again; the number of zeros on the screen was more than she had made in the past three months. Kris reached out and squeezed her hand, seeing the stunned look on her face.

“Breathe, you’re turning blue.” he chuckled and bumped his shoulder off hers. “The most painful part is over, and this is arguably the best way I spend my money every year. The kids are going to be overjoyed, just keep that in mind.”

“I’m going to hang on to that thought,” Cath said as they stepped away.

“Hang on to me.” He said, tucking her arm around his securely and patting her hand. “I know this can be a lot to get used to, I’ll keep you steady.”

“What do we do now?” Cath asked as they walked away from the check out. “It’s well after midnight.”

“Now, we eat.” Kris began to steer her towards the elevator again. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”

“You read my mind. I’d kill for some fries.” Cath agreed as her stomach rumbled.

“I’m sure we could find a place that’s open,” Kris said, taking out his phone to start looking.

“In LA, I don’t doubt it,” Cath’s tone was incredulous. “The real question is will what we find be edible?”

“In LA… debatable.” Kris cuddled her close. “Come on, it’ll be a great adventure to end our night.”

Cath made a face and then heaved a dramatic sigh. “If you say so. We may have to get Darren to take us to a 24-hour pharmacy on the way home though. Adventure is one thing; food poisoning is another.”

Kris leaned in close to her ear with a smile and a devilish grin. “One of us, one of us, one of us.”

“Oh, shut up.” She said with a laugh as the elevator doors closed behind them and they went on their way in pursuit of food to end their night.

After a quick search, they found an ancient diner a couple blocks away and made the short walk over on foot, huddled against the cold drizzle that had started to fall while they had been occupied inside.

Stepping into the restaurant they were met with the smell of burgers and fresh fries. They quickly settled into one of the red battle-scarred booths and spread the menus out in front of them. Given the hour, and the fact that they were one of a handful of people in the diner, they were able to order quickly and soon found themselves working their way through plates of burgers and fries with gusto.

“So, what did you think of tonight?” Kris asked as he waterfalled malt vinegar on his fries, making Cath wince in disgust.

“I think it’s awesome,” Cath said truthfully around a mouthful of burger. “Generous and very sweet.”

“Be honest, I won’t be offended.” Kris gestured to her with a fry and a wry chuckle. “At first you thought I had dropped you in a room with all of my illegitimate children.”

“The thought had occurred to me,” she joked back, trying to keep a straight face as he stuck his tongue out at her. “What I still don’t get is why you didn’t tell me about all of this today when I asked. I would have been on board in a heartbeat.”

“I guess I was just nervous,” Kris admitted, shrugging his shoulders and trying to seem nonchalant. His body language told another story. Cath set her burger aside and took his hand from across the table.

“About what?”

“About you maybe not liking it. I mean you showed me your traditions, with the tree and decorating, getting Danny’s gift. I don’t have a lot of my own, but I have this, and it’s always been mine.” He cleared his throat and spoke in a rush, as if he couldn’t hold the words in any longer. “Except I thought maybe, after tonight if things went well, it could be…ours… from now on. I mean if you want it to be.”

“Kris, I couldn’t think of anything I’d like better.” Cath said, “And I’m betting I could even get us more volunteers if we needed.”

“You thinking about Special Services?” Kris asked. “Could we still keep it low key then?”

“Actually, I was thinking about Danny and Vera.” Cath quirked a smile. “Danny is a giant marshmallow, and he loves kids, and Vera’s a nurse, who better to figure out what gifts they want and what’s appropriate for being in the hospital?”

“I love you so much.” Kris picked up her fingers and rested them against his cheek.

“I know,” Cath said warmly, stroking his fingers along his jaw, hoping to God he knew she felt the same way. “Now pass the ketchup please, these fries aren’t going to eat themselves.”