36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

NIC

Oh, shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Bloody shit! What was I thinking? She’s Jet’s girlfriend. His girlfriend ! She’s wearing his bloody ring!

Every bloody thought I should have considered when Annie pulled me into that kiss drove through my mind as I left her and my cousin behind. I trudged through the sand to the main road, though how I was getting home was the last thing I could even start to focus on. I was pissed off with myself. Furious. Appalled.

And it was Annie ! The one girl I never thought I’d end up kissing. So how in the ever loving fuck had it happened?

She kissed you first. My mind reminded me.

But that doesn’t mean I had to kiss her back. Especially when she probably just did it to get back at Jet. She knew he would see.

I realized this now, of course. Not when I was sticking my tongue down my cousin’s girlfriend’s throat .

Argh! What in the hell is wrong with me?! I should have pulled away. But it was like I couldn’t help myself. Like she pulled me in. If she hadn’t started it…

I shook my head with disgust, cutting off that thought before I could finish. Frustrated with my mind for giving me nowhere to hide.

Like I deserve a place to hide after what I’ve done. But bloody hell, it was like the hold Anna had over me. I couldn’t resist her.

I froze.

Like Anna…

Oh, thank God. Tension melted from my shoulders, and my breath released from my chest as I made the connection. It made some sense now. Annie had suggested it herself. That’s probably where it came from. I’d been mixing the two of them up since I’d gotten here.

Because once she said it, I could see it, all of their similarities like a glaring neon sign. The resemblance was less with Izzy, her personality gentler and not as intense. But Annie was like a beacon for my Anna triggers, and after that flashback tonight, it had all come to a head. My frustration with everything had taken over.

I hadn’t been kissing Annie. I had been kissing Anna.

At least in my head.

And I’d given her one hell of a kiss, too. That kiss was like a shock back to life. I’d felt something besides pain and resentment. I hadn’t even thought that was possible, not anytime soon. Not after I’d almost slipped tonight with alcohol.

But you were kissing Anna. Of course, the kiss would have been good. The thought threw itself at me, almost causing defeat to hit .

But I didn’t realize I was thinking of her as Anna at the time. During that kiss, I was conscious it was someone else.

I’d just been craving for it to really be Anna.

Because I was still hopelessly and pathetically addicted, even through my hatred.

But that was a problem for another day.

What deserved my attention now was that shock back to life. Because it was exactly that, and I wanted to hone it. Appreciate it .

It had been so long.

I took a deep breath, and the salt air filled my lungs. My chest even felt somewhat lighter.

Maybe there’s hope for me yet?

I was afraid to consider it.

I looked over the shimmering, dark ocean at my left then to the narrow path I could see faintly up ahead that would lead me back to the road.

Despite it all, despite how wretchedly I’d started this journey in Texas, I liked it here. I genuinely liked it here. It calmed me and gave me the space I needed from my old life. There were people here I didn’t mind starting my new life with. Family. And even some friends.

Ah, bugger. Izzy. I should’ve called her back a long time ago. Some friend I was turning out to be. And if Annie was right about anything else she’d said tonight, I had a long way to go with a lot of relationships here. Jet more than anyone now.

I pulled out my mobile, bracing myself as it rang.

“About time.” She answered after the first ring.

“Hey, Izzy… I know I’m complete rubbish, but I Ubered earlier, and…do you think I can get a ride?”

ANNIE

Jet and I were lying naked on the beach in each other’s arms while the water gently nudged our toes. With that kind of sex, I’d been stupefied into some kind of reverie. My mind and body were practically mush.

“Amazing,” I purred into his chest. Three orgasms. Five if you count the foreplay . It was definitely a first. A night I wouldn’t forget.

“Don’t sell it short, sweetheart.”

“Oh, I’m not. You promised, and you more than delivered. I think we even found some new kinks.”

“The biting.” He growled and brought his hand up to cup my breast, the sand gritty between us, and I swatted it away with a grin. The biting had definitely been good.

Several languid minutes passed with peaceful contentment buzzing between us before I shifted onto an elbow to look down at my man, one of my legs still draped over his as I gave him a wicked grin. “Maybe we should fight more often. The makeup sex would be worth it.”

Jet brushed a few stray strands of hair from my face, his expression nothing but earnest. “Make up sex is not worth you feeling so hurt, especially when I’m the reason for it.”

I laid my head back against his chest to where his heart beat steadily against my ear. Had I really doubted what that heart felt for me? It was so steady, strong, and sure, just like Jet. Just like I wanted to be. Like I wished I could be on the inside .

“I’m sorry I doubted you.”

“That note didn’t exactly help my case. But really, of all the perfect fucking timings for you to find it.” He began running his fingers lazily along my spine, making me shiver against him in the humid, late May air. “Just tell me you know I would never cheat on you.”

“I know, babe. But with that note and every insecurity Ruby managed to plant in my head, it got twisted up in the rest of the chaos in my brain. I was going to talk to you and get your side, but then I saw that kiss…”

“And that hurt . I get it. I just wished you would have been there a few seconds earlier to hear me telling her off.”

“Yeah. That would’ve definitely been better.” I grinned, trying to picture it. “Do you think she did it on purpose? Like she knew I would see?”

“The kiss? Yeah.”

“God, I hate her. Between that and the note… If I hadn’t read that first, I probably would’ve just attacked her ass.” I sighed, frustrated. “I just want to know what her endgame was. You said everything in the note was a lie, and I believe you, but she had to know you would know it wasn’t true, so was she hoping I would find it? Even though the book is Nic’s? I mean, make it make sense.”

Jet sucked in a deep breath, my head rising with his chest. “I don’t think I can. But, yeah, if I had to guess, that was probably it. Maybe her way of trying to break us up? Guess she didn’t count on me not wanting her, anyway. Just like I didn’t count on her getting vindictive.”

“How do you know she knew I’d see? The timing was just…so freaking perfect. ”

“Something she said when I pushed her away. That if she couldn’t have me, then you couldn’t either.”

“Fucking bitch.” I scowled. “Well, it was effective.”

“Tell me about it.”

I lifted myself back up at his tone, and it only took a few seconds of reading the look on his face to realize what he meant. I cringed, biting my lip, and Jet raised a warning eyebrow.

“I get why you did it, Annie. You knew I was there, and you wanted to hurt me back, but I never want you to think it’s okay to kiss another guy again. Especially my cousin.”

I nodded, hating the change in mood, the edges of my inner chaos bubbling up now with doubt. Knowing I’d crossed a line. Jet’s kiss had been forced. Mine had been revenge.

“Hey.” He ran his thumb along my forehead, bringing my eyes back to his, and my heart eased with the gentle look back in his gaze. “I’m not mad. Like I said, I get it. We’re fine. I swear.”

I nodded, releasing a breath. “Okay, but are we?” I couldn’t help but ask. “We’ve been fighting so much more lately, babe.”

“And the source of most of that tension is now kicked out of our lives. I should have done it sooner.”

“And Nic?”

“Fuck Nic.”

My brow shot up, and I shook my head. “No. Don’t do that. You’ve been working towards a relationship with him for months. Don’t cut him out just because I kissed him. Trust me, I saw his face when it was over. He was shocked. I did to him what Ruby did to you. In a sense. I mean, really, babe. If he’s been feeling like how I did tonight for months , it’s no wonder he’s so messed up.”

Jet took a deep breath, holding it for a second, and then released it. “Fine. I’ll hear him out. But it’s really weird to hear you defending him. Not sure I like it now.”

I laughed. “How does it feel being the jealous one?”

He narrowed his eyes, that eyebrow of his lifting playfully before he turned serious again. “I’m not jealous, Annie. It just grated to see someone else kiss you. You’re mine. Only mine.”

I leaned down to kiss him at that. “Good. But you do need to talk to him and clear the air. I said my piece with him tonight, but I want the drama done. I have enough demons without adding something new to worry about.”

Jet shifted to where he was lying on his side, facing me, and took my hand in his. “These demons… Annie… I’m worried.”

Air suddenly felt tight in my chest. “About?”

“Your nightmares, sweetheart. All of your trauma and the PTSD? You’re not coping.”

I swallowed, my throat going tight as tears pricked my eyes. “I know.”

I’d tried so hard to hide it. I’d tried so hard to be enough. I’d always been enough. But now, it felt like I was hanging on by a thread, one more emotional punch away from the fibers unraveling. I forced the tears back, shoving it all beneath the splitting seams as I worked to control my breaths.

Jet just looked at me, so much sadness and compassion in his gaze. He leaned in and pressed a kiss against my brow, letting his lips linger there for several seconds before he whispered, “It’s okay not to be enough. It’s okay to need help. Professional help.”

Oh, God. The seams were ripping, and I shook my head, my eyes squeezed firmly shut as I tried to hold it all together.

“Just tell me you’ll get some. Please. And I swear that I’ll be there with you every step of the way. You won’t have to do it alone.”

That was when the sob escaped from my chest. Because it was exactly how I had felt for so long now.

Alone.

“You promise?” I whispered, pressing my forehead to his as he ducked his to mine.

“I promise.” He ran his finger over the diamond hearts on my hand. “It’s you and me. Forever. Perfectly fucking matched, remember?”

My heart skipped a beat even through everything swirling inside, and I nodded, because we were. Perfectly fucking matched.

TUCKER

“Problems, Annie?” I smirked as I watched her hobble up the sidewalk to her house when we got home. I didn’t even have to ask if things had worked out. Jet’s shit-eating grin and swagger said it all.

That, and they’re completely covered in sand .

“Shut up, Tucker,” she snapped, shooting me a halfhearted glare. “It’s not like you’ve never screwed on a beach before.”

I chuckled and leaned against one of the posts along the porch rail, watching her wince as she climbed the steps to her front porch. “It’s called a blanket , Annie.” I looked at Jet. “Makes all the difference.”

Jet smirked and pulled Annie into his lap as he settled into the porch swing, his fingers going to play with the long strands of her sand-coated ponytail down her back. “I’ll make a note for next time.”

“If you get a next time,” Annie whined. “Seriously, babe. I have so much sand wedged in so many places. I’m gonna be walking funny for a week.”

Jet and I chuckled, and he leaned closer to murmur at her ear, the sound still carrying over where I could hear. “You’re not the only one that needs a shower, sweetheart. Just wait until we get upstairs, and we can clean up together.” He winked, every bit of insinuation there in his tone just as Kurt reached the porch steps.

“Ugh.” He groaned in disgust as his eyes landed on Annie. “Fuck, your neck. Okay, I was gonna check in with y’all, but I got my answer.” He visibly shuddered before looking at Jet. “Did you have to bite her so hard? I mean, we’re cool, man, but if I’m ever going to hang out with you and Tucker again, I can’t have front row evidence of how you defiled my cousin. I’m out.”

Annie clapped her hands over her neck, her eyes wide in horror as I smirked down at her, and she dropped her face into her hands as Kurt slipped inside. “Kill me now.”

“Nope.” Jet chuckled, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple as he tugged her hands from her face. “You wear those badges proudly, sweetheart. You earned every fucking one of them.”

I nearly choked on my own spit before bursting into laughter, and Annie turned beet red.

“Jerk.” She swatted Jet’s leg, then looked up at me with a defiant glare for laughing. “Where’s Izzy?”

The mood immediately shifted as my grin dropped, and I reached up to rub at the back of my neck. “Still in my truck. Talking to Nic…”

Annie’s brow shot up as Jet stiffened, his body going rigid. I watched Annie place her hand on his arm and how his grip then loosened around her waist.

“Look, you know she’s close to him, and until what happened tonight, which yeah, he told us about, you were trying to be, too. We all were. Except Annie.”

I shrugged when she looked away.

“Still,” Jet muttered. “A little loyalty would be nice.”

Annie whipped her head to face him. “What happened to hearing him out?”

My brow raised, surprised to hear that from her, and Jet’s jaw set.

“Might be a little harder than I thought.”

Doors slammed on my Chevy, and Jet’s gaze went past me to where it was parked. I shifted, watching Izzy walk up the sidewalk, her gaze locked on Jet’s, and I could see Nic’s silhouette in the faint lighting of the streetlamps as he leaned back against the front of my truck.

Izzy perched against the rail at my side as she reached the porch, and Jet’s gaze narrowed.

“Don’t even start, Jet.” She shook her head, her soft tone firm. “I’m not apologizing for talking to my friend. You haven’t even heard what he has to say yet. ”

“Do I need to?”

Annie swatted his leg again.

But Izzy crossed her arms under her chest. “Did Annie need to listen to you tonight? It might surprise you what he has to say.”

Jet’s expression shifted, considering.

Annie tapped his leg this time, bringing his gaze to hers. “As much as Nic and I don’t get along, I know you, babe, and it’s gonna bug you if you don’t hear him out. You promised me that you would. No new drama or demons, remember?”

“You know she’s right, man,” I encouraged when Jet still hesitated.

Eventually, he sighed and shifted so Annie could slide off his lap. “Fine. You’re right. I promised.”

He looked out at my truck where his cousin was still waiting and then paused at the edge of the porch to reach back for Annie’s hand, pulling her into his arms. She squeaked in surprise but relented to his kiss as he buried his fingers in her already tangled hair, whimpering a groan when he finally pulled away.

“Just a reminder who these belong to.” Jet smirked against her lips, tapping them with his finger before heading down the porch steps.

ANNIE

I stumbled a bit with the abrupt departure of that heated kiss and reached out to lean against the large beam of the railing beside Tucker, sensing him watching me. But my eyes followed the broad, sand-covered shoulders of my man. That kiss had been like a fucking brand, and Jet had just marked me as his before going to meet his cousin.

Tucker pulled Izzy close for his own goodnight kiss, and my fingers pressed to my lips, my thoughts falling back to those last moments on the beach with my boyfriend…

I winced as Jet took in the crack in his driver’s side window as we reached his Mustang. “I’ll replace it.”

He just shook his head and opened the door. Nic’s book sat on the seat, and he picked it up, studying the cover. “Mine… Funny how well the title fits.”

“Yeah.” I shifted the duffel bag back to the floorboards and climbed in, wincing at all of the sand we were going to get in his poor car. “It’s part of what set me off. You were supposed to be mine.”

He looked down at me from where he stood beside the car and leaned over the driver’s seat, locking his eyes with mine, a harshness crossing his expression that was so intense, so unlike him. “I am yours. Just like these are mine.” He brushed his thumb over my lips, possessive.

I nodded. “I know, babe.”

“I know you do.”

I shifted, grabbing his face to stare into his eyes. “Listen to me, Jet Thanos. That kiss meant nothing. Any doubts you have right now, throw them away. My lips are yours. Only yours. Always.”

He nodded, the tension receding, and tossed the book into the backseat. Sliding in behind the wheel, he then dropped a possessive hand on my leg and winked. “Let’s get home. I think your shower’s calling. ”

Shaken from the memory as Tucker brushed past, I startled to find my eyes locked with a troubled sapphire blue stare from across the yard, several seconds passing with me trying to read Nic’s expression, but he looked away as Jet reached his side. My brow narrowed into a slight frown, wondering if they’d work it out. Hoping they would.

I was starting to understand Izzy’s take on family. When it came down to it, I didn’t want to get between Jet and his.

As if knowing I was watching, he looked up, and I could see that brilliant, easy smile of his telling me everything was going to be okay.

“You ready to come in, sis?” Izzy watched me from the doorway. “Or do you want to wait out here for Jet? I can stay with you.”

“Let’s go in,” I decided. It wasn’t going to change anything for me to watch them talk. No matter what Nic told Jet tonight, no matter what his side was, it was like I’d told Jet before. Like I’d swear a thousand times over if he needed me to.

That kiss meant nothing.