Chapter 5

"There's a visitor for you, my Lady," Juliette's maid, Hannah, said, and Juliette looked up from her embroidery in surprise.

She was not expecting any visitors, and had hoped to spend the afternoon sitting in the sunshine and finishing an embroidery pattern.

"Oh, who is it? Henrietta?" Juliette asked, but the maid shook her head.

"No, my Lady - a man. He didn't give his name. He wanted to surprise you, or so he said," Hannah replied.

Juliette was curious, and she could only imagine what her mother would say if the visitor was who she thought it might be. Her heart skipped a beat. Surely not after all this time? She set down her embroidery and rose to her feet.

"What did he look like?" she asked, and the maid blushed.

"He's tall, my lady - very handsome. His face is tanned, as though he's been in the sun," she said, and Juliette gasped.

"Where is he, Hannah?" she exclaimed, and the maid told her the gentleman had been shown into the drawing room, where he was now waiting.

Juliette was upstairs in her bedroom, and now she hurried down to the hallway, her heart beating fast at the prospect of who was waiting for her. But as she was about to burst into the drawing room, she paused, fearing what she might find - who she might find. If it was Nicholas, what would she say?

He had been away for so long - nearly two years - and all this time she had waited for him without a word. A lot had happened in two years, and her feelings towards him were confused. Juliette felt angry with herself for how easily her thoughts of anger against Nicholas were replaced by the excitement of his return, and the possibility of what he was about to say or do…

"I should be… reserved," she thought to herself, as now she took a deep breath and opened the drawing-room door.

Nicholas was there - burnished bronze, his skin as far from the fashionable paleness of the ton as could be imagined. He looked at her and smiled - that same smile she had fallen in love with in her youth. It was as though no time had passed, and in that moment, Juliette felt every surge of emotion she had known in the past two years - longing, anger, desire, love.

"Juliette, how wonderful to see you. I'm sorry if I surprised you. I've only just got back," he said, smiling at her.

For a few moments, Juliette was lost for words. To see him in front of her - in the flesh - was extraordinary. She had dreamed of this moment, imagining what it would be like to see him again, even as now she hardly knew what to say.

"You… you've been gone for such a long time," she said, and he nodded.

"I know - but the things I've got to tell you, Juliette. Oh, it's been… incredible. The sights I've seen, the people I've met. It's been extraordinary," he replied, as Juliette now bid him sit opposite her by the hearth.

"But… I haven't heard from you," she said, not knowing how to tell him of her upset towards him - of the pain she had felt at his being absent for so long without a word.

"Ah, yes… well, I was going to write to you. But then I never knew where I'd be from one moment to another and it seemed a futile endeavor," Nicholas replied.

Juliette did not know what to say. She had waited for this moment - longed for this moment - and yet now it had arrived; it felt something of an anti-climax. But what had she expected? An immediate proposal? The thought was ludicrous.

Nicholas was not about to fall on one knee and propose. His life and hers had taken entirely different courses over the past two years, and to admit she had spent so long waiting for him was embarrassing. He had thought of her - or so he claimed - but those thoughts had not led to action, and in this, a gulf had opened between them.

"Yes… I suppose so," Juliette replied.

"But tell me - what of your news? Are you betrothed? I haven't had a chance to speak to Henrietta a great deal since my return - I wasn't expecting to be back so soon, and she's gone off to stay with our cousin in Bath for a few weeks," Nicholas said.

Again, Juliette felt a surge of disappointment in his words. It was clear he had not believed she would wait for him. There had been no agreement between them - not even unofficially. It had all been in Juliette's mind, and now she felt something of a fool for having believed there could be more.

"No… I'm not," she said, but if this news pleased Nicholas, he did not show it.

"I'm sure your mother's trying her best to match you," he said, and Juliette blushed.

She did not like to admit it was the truth, but that was precisely what her mother was trying to do, and in the past few months, that attempt had only grown stronger. Men were being presented to her on an almost revolving basis - the rejection of one led to the suggestion of another, and it would not be an exaggeration to suggest the barrel was now well and truly scraped.

Her mother had gone from dukes and earls, to marquesses and barons, and as Juliette had continued to reject them, so her mother had continued to find them. Lords and knights had turned into self-made men, and clergymen, and it would surely not be long before Juliette's mother would begin searching the artisanal classes for a suitable match - a baker would not have been out of the question, or so she had despairingly said some weeks previously.

And all because Juliette had been waiting for the man now standing in front of her - a man who showed no sign at all of making a marriage proposal.

"Yes… she is," Juliette admitted, and Nicholas smiled.

"But surely, you can have no trouble in making a match. I imagined I'd return to find you married with a child – and perhaps another on the way," he said, and Juliette blushed.

The very thought of it was ridiculous - from her perspective, at least.

"No… well, perhaps, but no. I haven't… well. I haven't," she replied, not wishing to discuss the matter further, and certainly not wishing to admit the truth.

If anything, Juliette's predominant feeling was now embarrassment. She had lived a fantasy, and now her fantasy had come crashing down around her. Nicholas had returned, and it was not with a proposal of marriage, or even a realization of his affections towards her, but with what could only be described as friendly indifference. He saw her as a friend and nothing else. What a fool she had been, and had it not been so serious, it might have been comical.