Chapter 26

Bella could still feel Simon's touch on her shoulder long after he left. She could still feel it after dressing in the borrowed clothes—a bit ill-fitting for her slight form but tasteful, nonetheless.

She could feel it while walking over to the church, and even as she stood quietly through the ceremony. Everything else was a blur of confusion, but that touch was firm and solid. It grounded her. It reminded her who she was choosing to marry.

She realized during the ceremony, as though looking at herself from afar, that this very thing was all she had ever wanted. Marriage to Simon Lyndon. She wanted it so desperately that she could almost taste it. Her first thought when he offered up the suggestion in the inn was an unbelievable elation, but that feeling did not last more than a moment.

When she realized the truth, it nearly crushed her. He was marrying her out of obligation, because he was an honorable man. He was marrying her because Simon Lyndon was kind and good and true, and Simon Lyndon would never let his best friend's sister lose her honor over a matter like this.

He was marrying her for the same reason he'd ridden north to Gretna Green to rescue her. Because he had a moral code like a fairy-tale hero, and letting her suffer went against that code.

He was careful in the way he presented it and guarded in his expression of hope about their future. Amiable. Not a love match, then. She thought of that when he took her hand at the altar and said the vows, and when she responded in kind. It was all very amiable.

She was not afraid of him, and he did not despise her. Still, the love that she craved from him was not what he was offering. He was offering her safety and a good name and a kind husband. Not love.

The carriage ride back to London was a strange one. Lord Ramsgate rode across from them, bound at the wrists only. He made a few snide comments upon first seeing them, but when Simon threatened a gag to keep the peace for the remainder of the drive Lord Ramsgate chose to hold his tongue. He looked out the window instead, coldly, and pretended that Bella and Simon did not exist.

His presence made it difficult to discuss anything of import. Bella felt so unlike a newly married woman, sharing her honeymoon carriage ride with the man she most hated in the world and a silent groom, that she had to continually remind herself that the priest had indeed declared them husband and wife just that morning.

Simon was attentive at their various stops, seeing that she had everything she required and was well-cared for, but beyond that he said little.

When they reached London at last, he sent his driver first to the authorities, where he handed Lord Ramsgate over after a long explanation. Bella gave her own account of all that had occurred, and the constabulary assured her the testimony would have a hand in his trial before letting Bella and Simon go.

"How do you feel?" Simon asked her, when they were alone at last outside the ministry office.

Bella squinted up at him in the fading light. "I'm not certain how to answer that," she said quietly. "I'm very tired."

"I ask to determine where we go next," Simon said quietly. "I need to explain everything to your parents. Would you like me to drop you off at my flat in town first, or would you like to accompany me to Lord and Lady Collingwood?"

Her parents. Bella felt a dull panic growing in her chest. "I ought to come with you. It seems rather like feeding you to the wolves to send you off on your own."

Simon held out an arm to help her into the carriage. "I am not frightened of a few wolves."

"I want to accompany you," Bella said firmly. She hesitated and then asked nervously, "and you mention a flat in the city—I thought you stayed with your parents when you were in town."

Simon looked uncomfortable. "I do, yes. The flat is more for business than anything. There are times when I need a place to meet with people away from my family estate." He climbed into the carriage behind her and settled down across from her. "But do not fear. It is well enough kept, and you will not find it too much the home of a bachelor. I have a manservant there, and a lady who keeps house for me. It will not be at all what you are used to, but—"

"I'm sure it will be quite lovely," Bella interrupted him. She was nervous to be alone with him like this. Part of her wanted to crawl across the carriage and curl up again in the safety of his embrace. Part of her wanted to kiss him outright. The training she had had as a young lady held her back from both of these, and instead she shivered nervously and wrapped her arms around herself.

A look of concern crossed Simon's face at the sight of her discomfort. "I want you to know…" he began, haltingly. "I do not intend to push you into any situation this evening that makes you uncomfortable. I know this has all been very sudden."

Bella felt a hot blush run all the way up into her cheeks. He speaks of the wedding night. She was astonished that she had not thought of it herself in all this time, riding beside him in the carriage. Perhaps Lord Ramsgate and the near-loss of her honor had driven all normal thoughts from her mind. "I am not…" she could not think of the right thing to say. "I do not think…" The truth was not ladylike, and so she could not say it aloud. The truth was that she did not want to wait—that the marriage did not feel sudden to someone like her who had been in love with Simon for years now.

He misread her hesitancy. "Let me take away all fear you might have," he said, leaning forward and catching her hand up in his own. "Nothing shall happen between us for some time, at least. I know this is not a love match for you, Bella, and I do not wish you to feel forced into any… affection you do not feel."

He is not speaking of me, she thought. He is speaking of himself. He is the one forced into affection he does not feel. She pulled her hand back and sat up a little straighter. "That is very chivalrous of you, Simon."

He gave a dry little laugh and looked out the window of the carriage, saying nothing more to explain his wry amusement.

They pulled up to her parents' home shortly after that, and he helped her up the marble steps into the main parlor. Lord and Lady Collingwood were upstairs when they arrived, but appeared below-stairs in a matter of minutes after a maid was sent in search of them. Bella was taken aback by their appearance. Both her parents wore expressions of intense concern when they entered the room. She had expected a scolding, to be sure, but no genuine concern for her safety.

"Isabella." Lady Collingwood came to her at once, catching up her hands and giving her a kiss on the cheek. "How glad I am to see you well." But she did not look glad. She looked wary.

She wants to know if I am a ruined woman. Bella forced a smile. "I am, thanks to Mr. Lyndon. He rode in at just the right time and managed to save me from Lord Ramsgate's clutches."

"We got your letter, Mr. Lyndon," Lord Collingwood said, coming to stand by his wife. "About the kidnapping. It came only a few hours before news of the supposed elopement hit the scandal sheets. I am afraid tongues have been wagging quite effectively since then." His voice grew cold. "The ton expects my daughter to return as a married woman, with Lord Ramsgate at her side."

"Lord Ramsgate is at present facing the authorities for his crimes," Simon said stiffly. "He and your daughter are not married."

Bella watched the revelation settle on her parents. They both looked a little ill, realizing that her reputation—and therefore theirs—would be tarnished forever. "All is not lost," she said, wanting to put them at ease. "Knowing how this would all look, Simon offered up an alternative to ruination."

"An…alternative?" Lady Collingwood seemed to be in a bit of a haze, reaching for words to pull her out of the shock of the moment.

Simon spoke. "Lady Isabella and I married in Gretna Green. We will face the wave of gossip by admitting to an elopement, but correcting the public on the interested parties. They were right about the bride, we shall say, but wrong about the groom. All suggestion of immoral behavior will be eliminated."

The room fell deathly silent. Lord Collingwood turned and walked to the fireplace, leaning against the mantle with his back to the others. Lady Collingwood put a hand to her mouth and gave a small squeak of surprise.

"I know this is a shock," Simon went on, more gently now, "but we could think of no other way to resolve the matter. Any hesitation would have given the public time to form a less favorable version of events."

Lady Collingwood still said nothing, but nodded weakly.

Bella felt her throat dry with nervousness. This was exactly what she had feared. They were disappointed in her, despite everything she had done to conform to their idea of what a good daughter ought to be.

"If Simon—if Mr. Lyndon had not saved me, I do not know what I would have done," Bella said desperately. "The kidnapping was dreadful, Mother. I was unconscious for part of it, tied up for the rest, and Lord Ramsgate proved himself to be a cad when we arrived at Gretna Green. I do not know what he would have done had he been allowed to follow his purposes to their bitter end."

"I cannot believe it of him," Lady Collingwood said at last in a soft voice. "He seemed like such a gentleman, and a future duke at that. I expected better of him."

"I know that you hoped something more would come of my relationship with Lord Ramsgate," Bella said quietly.

"Yes," her mother said weakly. "We had such high hopes." Her gaze shot to Simon as though to imply that he, in part, was responsible for the dashing of those hopes.

Bella swallowed hard. "What is done is done," she said, wishing her voice was steadier.

"Lord Collingwood, Lady Collingwood—" Simon stepped forward and took Bella's hand in his. His voice held all the confidence and authority that Bella's lacked. "I will not rush you through the whirlwind of emotions you are likely feeling regarding my marriage to your daughter. I imagine it will take you some time to process all of this. Still, I must make something clear—Bella is my wife now, and regardless of whether or not you approve, I must require that you speak to her with respect and kindness. I will not have her mistreated by anyone, even those she holds dearest."

Bella looked up at him in surprise. She could not remember the last time anyone had stood up for her…James. James was the last person to side with me in any matter. Even then, her brother had been all politics and laughter. Simon was speaking directly to Lord and Lady Collingwood without a hint of subterfuge. His intention was clear.

"We are excited to share our new life with you," he went on, his voice still kind and even. "I hope that you can find it in your hearts to be loving and honoring of Lady Isabella, so that sharing our lives will be a possibility."

"I beg your pardon," Lady Collingwood said, dropping her hand and looking at Simon in disbelief. "I'm not sure I understand what you are implying… or where you garnered the courage to speak to us in such a brazen manner."

"He gathered that courage when he saved our daughter," Lord Collingwood said, turning and facing them again. "He has earned the right to speak bluntly, whether we like what he has to say or not."

He strode across the room and stopped just in front of Bella. She felt nervous under his steely gaze, as she always did, and was thankful for the strength of Simon's hand on hers. Her father cleared his throat before continuing.

"I am glad you are safe, Isabella. I am glad you have returned to us. Your mother and I are not the sort to hand out our affection with abandon…" he hesitated, as though unsure how to continue. "But I hope that we will not be remiss in our future connection. I thought, when I first received news of Ramsgate's betrayal, that I had lost you forever. I am thankful that is not the case."

It was hardly a declaration of love, but it was more tender, and humbler, than anything Bella had ever heard from her parents before. Tears came into her eyes as she nodded. "Thank you, Father."

"We will have your things sent over to your place of residence," Lord Collingwood went on. "Leave an address with the butler."

Lady Collingwood bit her lip. "And perhaps you could come back for dinner next week?"

"That sounds lovely," Simon said, and Bella nodded agreement.