Chapter Six
CHAPTER SIX
Jason hadn't thought this day could possibly get any harder.
But he was obviously wrong.
He glanced at Lilly. She'd gone pale and had flattened her hand over her chest as if to try to steady her heart. Her lips were so tightly pinched together, they were practically white.
"Can you get out of the wheelchair and onto the floor?" he asked.
She gave a choppy nod and, hoping she could do it on her own, he immediately turned his attention back to the window. Or rather, back to the street that fronted the house. There wasn't a moving car in sight, but he couldn't count on it staying that way. If this was the latest attempt by the would-be killer and he or she could somehow bypass the security code, then they were all in danger.
Behind him, he heard Lilly maneuver herself out of the chair. He wished like the devil that he'd had time to carry her to the storage closet—aka the panic room—that he'd modified in case of a situation just like this one. But he couldn't take the risk of leaving the front of the house unguarded. That kind of move could put Megan in too much danger. And he was certain Lilly would agree with his decision. Megan had to come first.
"Will Megan be okay?" Lilly asked.
"Of course." Jason prayed that was true. He'd considered that the perp would figure out where they were, but he'd honestly believed that the guy wouldn't make an attempt in broad daylight to come after Lilly. He had also believed his security measures would be enough.
They had to be enough.
Because the alternative was unthinkable.
"What about surveillance cameras?" Lilly asked. Her voice was shaking. "Is there one at the gate?"
"Yes." But the security company had already told him that the vehicle had heavily tinted windows and that the driver's face was obscured. In other words, they would send the video to the crime lab for analysis, but they couldn't rely on the images to make an ID.
Hell.
Without an ID or without a face-to-face confrontation, they might not figure out who was behind this. Of course, Jason wanted to know that so he could arrest the guy. But he didn't want that info at the expense of further risking the lives of the people inside his house.
Staying by the edge of the window, he fastened his attention to the street. Still no cars. No one, in fact. That was a plus on their side. Maybe this way, no innocent bystanders would be involved.
The spring breeze wasn't cooperating. It kept stirring the thick shrubs and massive oak trees that dotted the neighborhood. Each flicker of movement, each sway of the branches, every harmless sound spiked his adrenaline and sent his gaze whipping around the visible area. Thankfully, it was only the visible area he had to be concerned with because there was no street to the back of the house. And if the person gave up trying to disarm the gate and simply climbed over it, the security company would alert him.
That thought must have tempted fate.
His phone rang, the sound slicing through the room.
Jason didn't take his eyes off the street; nor did he lower his gun. Holding his breath, he pulled out his cell phone and took the call.
"It's over," he heard the now-familiar voice of the security company employee say. "The person gave up and drove away."
Jason released his breath. "Are officers in pursuit?"
"Negative. They haven't arrived yet."
That was not what he wanted to hear. "Call them now. Give them a description of the vehicle." Maybe it wouldn't be too late for them to apprehend and make an arrest.
"He's gone?" Lilly asked.
"It appears that way."
Jason pushed the end button on his phone and looked back at her. She was climbing into her wheelchair. Not easily, either. It was obvious the muscles in her legs weren't anywhere close to being a hundred percent. He considered helping her, but his instincts yelled for him to continue to keep watch.
So that's what he did.
"The cops aren't going to catch him, are they?" Lilly whispered.
"They will." Though he didn't know how he would make good on that promise. He just knew they couldn't continue to go through this.
"Is everything okay?" Erica's voice poured through the house's intercom system. Only then did Jason realize she'd probably been listening since he'd installed an intercom unit in the panic room.
"It's okay," he assured her. "But just in case, don't take Megan near the windows."
Thankfully, Erica didn't ask for a just-in-case clarification. He heard the slight click to indicate she'd turned off the intercom.
Lilly wheeled her chair closer to him. She was breathing heavily, probably from the exertion and the fear. "As long as I was in a coma, Megan was safe."
It was true, yes. But Lilly hadn't been responsible for her father's business practices or her coma.
Or her recovery.
Jason was about to remind her of that when he caught the movement in the foyer. Erica. With Megan straddled on her hip, she came to the entryway of the living room. Staying away from the windows, she snagged Jason's gaze.
"Ms. Nelson's right," Erica concluded. "Megan is in danger as long as she's here."
He considered reminding Erica that it was his job to protect both Lilly and Megan. But it was more than that. Now that Lilly was out of the coma, Megan wasn't safe. Period. Because anyone who would attempt to murder a woman in a hospital bed probably wouldn't hesitate to use a child if it meant that child could lead him or her to Lilly.
"I have my orders," Jason explained to her, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice. It was for Megan's sake. Even though she was a baby, she could no doubt sense the tension. He hated seeing that puzzled look on her face. "And those orders are for me to protect Lilly and Megan. That's what I'll do."
Erica didn't do an eye roll, but it was close. "There's something I have to tell you," she insisted.
"Unless it's an emergency, it'll have to wait." Jason motioned toward the playroom. "I want Megan and you in the panic room awhile longer. Until we're sure this guy isn't going to try to make a return visit."
A god-awful thought.
"It's not an emergency," Erica continued. "But it's important. I don't think it should wait. Once you've heard what I have to say, you might change your mind about guarding Ms. Nelson."
He was both intrigued and baffled by that, but Jason didn't miss the catty tone in Erica's voice. He wasn't stupid or blind. He knew that Erica had feelings for him. Despite his earlier denial to Lilly that Erica's possessiveness was limited to Megan, he knew otherwise. Oh, yes. He'd seen that look in Erica's eyes, and he suspected that she would like to marry him so the three of them could be a family.
That wasn't going to happen.
He has no plan for marriage. Not to Erica. Not to anyone. He needed to concentrate on two things: raising Megan and doing his job. He didn't have the time or energy for anything else. And in this case, doing his job meant dealing with Lilly and all the danger that came with her.
Lilly got her wheelchair moving in the direction of the playroom. "I'd be interested in hearing what you have to tell Jason," she said to Erica.
"You already know," Erica snapped.
She brought the wheelchair to a dead stop. Right in front of Megan and Erica. Lilly stared up at the other woman and shook her head. But then, the head shaking came to an abrupt stop, as well.
Lilly whirled the chair around so that she was facing him, but she didn't get a chance to say anything.
Erica beat her to it.
"There was a call earlier, just before you arrived," Erica said. "It was from Michael."
Michael. Erica's brother. And Jason's friend and attorney, as well. In fact, it was Michael who'd asked Jason to hire Erica to be Megan's nanny. "What did he want?" Jason asked.
"I knew something was wrong when he called," Erica explained. She was nervous now. "I pressed him to tell me. And he did because he didn't want to be blindsided by this."
"Blindsided?" Jason repeated. "By what?"
"Michael got a call from Ms. Nelson's attorney."
"Oh, my God," Lilly mumbled.
Judging from Lilly's reaction, this would be yet more bad news. Jason wasn't sure he was ready for that, but it didn't stop Erica from continuing.
"Michael said Ms. Nelson started the paperwork to revoke your custody of Megan."
O H , THIS WAS GOING to get messy.
Lilly had known this moment would come, of course, but what she hadn't counted on was having to deal with it only minutes after the scare with the possible breach of security. Judging from the fierce look that Jason was giving her, dealing with the killer or security issues might be easier than the conversation they were about to have.
"I'm sorry," Lilly said. She was. Genuinely sorry. "I intended to tell you."
His left eyebrow shot up and he indicated an un-spoken When? However, Jason didn't voice that question. "I want the three of you to go to the back of the house. If I need you to move into the panic room, I'll let you know through the intercom." He turned his gaze on the nanny. "Erica, Lilly will probably need help getting out of that wheelchair and into the room."
Okay. So, he didn't intend to let her explain. Not that she needed to shed much light on her decision, anyway. Since there was nothing Lilly could say to him to make this better, she decided to comply. Besides, Jason was right: it'd be safer for them to be out of the front room. Because if the would-be killer returned…
But she stopped.
Best not to go there.
Keeping a firm grip on Megan, Erica turned and headed down the hall. Lilly did the same. Not easily. The carpeted floor wasn't exactly a good surface for the wheelchair to maneuver on. Still, Lilly had no intention of asking for help.
Erica disappeared into a room at the end of the hall. Lilly tried to follow her, but it only took one hard bop of her wheels on the door frame before she realized that Jason was right—she wouldn't be able to squeeze through.
So Lilly sat there.
Like the rest of the house, the playroom reflected the same homey environment that Jason had created for Megan. Cheery pastel-yellow walls. Overstuffed floral chairs. And toys. Lots and lots of toys. Not gender-specific, either. Megan had a pinto rocking horse, dozens of colorful plastic building blocks and stuffed animals. Some of them were huge, including the fuzzy orange elephant perched in the corner near the doorway to what was probably the panic room.
"Do you need help?" Erica asked.
Yes. But Lilly wasn't going to ask for it. "I'll be fine right here."
She hoped.
The front door was only about thirty feet away. Too close if someone came barging through it. Of course, Jason wouldn't let that happen. Which only contributed to the massive amount of guilt that Lilly was suddenly feeling. She hadn't done anything wrong by trying to get custody of her daughter, but then she hadn't done it the right way, either. Despite the investigation and security arrangements, she should have found the time to tell Jason.
Megan began to squirm to get down, and Erica eased her into a standing position on the floor. Lilly almost reached out her arms—an automatic gesture to welcome Megan to come closer—but she held back, hoping the child would come to her.
She did.
Megan toddled her way and gave the wheels a cursory inspection before turning her attention to Lilly. She cocked her head to the side, a gesture that so reminded Lilly of Jason. That was his expression. Along with his eyes, Megan looked very much like his biological daughter.
"Da-da?" Megan babbled, and she yawned, rubbed her eyes and pointed to the door.
"Da-da's busy right now," Erica responded, her voice strained yet somehow soothing. "He'll be here soon." Erica sank down into a rocking chair and tipped her eyes to the ceiling before her gaze came back to Lilly. "Jason had to know about that call from your lawyer."
"Yes." It was too bad, though, that the news hadn't come from her.
But Lilly immediately rethought that. That wasn't the sort of news that could be softened, so it probably didn't matter who the messenger was. Besides, she had to give Erica the benefit of the doubt here. The woman obviously loved Megan. If Jason lost custody, that would mean Erica would lose Megan, too. She wouldn't have any rights to see the child, either. Lilly understood that concern.
That fear.
Because even though she'd only known Megan for a few precious minutes, she couldn't imagine losing her.
Megan rubbed her eyes again, and while keeping a precarious balance, she stooped to retrieve a well-worn, blue polka-dotted blanket from the floor. She shoved it against her right cheek.
"It's her nap time," Erica explained. "She still takes two a day. One short one in the morning and another longer one in the afternoon."
Lilly felt a pang of jealousy in her heart. Such basic information. But it was info she didn't know. Here was her own daughter, her own flesh and blood, and she knew so little about her.
That would change.
Erica stood and gathered Megan into her arms. Lilly started to back out of the doorway so they could get through, but Erica waved her off. "She can take her nap in here. I'm sure that's what Jason would want."
Lilly watched as the nanny pulled open one of the chairs, converting it into a small but plushy bed. Erica got on it with Megan and cuddled with her. Another pang. A huge one. Erica was doing all the things that Lilly knew she should be doing.
"The guest room's right across the hall," Erica told her. "That's where you'll be staying."
A guest. Not that Erica had needed to emphasize that. Lilly knew her place. For the moment, anyway. But she wouldn't remain a guest in her daughter's life for long.
"The door's already open," Erica added. "But if you need help getting in, just let me know." The offer had a get-lost tinge to it.
Since Megan seemed to settle right into the nap and since Lilly felt like an intruder, she turned her wheelchair around to face yet another door she couldn't enter.
"Enough of this," Lilly mumbled. She put on the brake, shoved the metal footrests to the side, grabbed on to the chair arms, stood up and took a step.
Her muscles responded. Flexed. Moved. The way they should respond. Almost. For several moments, she concentrated just on that. It didn't exactly feel right, but it was better than being in that chair.
She took it one small step at a time and not without support, either. Using the wall and furniture, Lilly began to make her way around the room. She was doing okay until she banged her knee into the protruding Shaker-style dresser. But she didn't let a little pain deter her. She kept moving. An inch at a time toward her goal.
And her goal was the bed.
Where she was likely to drop like a landed trout once she reached it.
The physical exertion sent beads of sweat popping out on her forehead, and she felt dizzy. She ignored both the sweat and the light-headedness and continued. If she had any hopes of taking care of her daughter, it started with her regaining her independence.
"What the heck do you think you're doing?" she heard Jason ask.
And he asked it just as she made a final, haphazard grab for the bedpost. Her reach landed short, and she off-balanced herself. Lilly tried to grab something, anything, but it was too late. Her shoulder smacked against the bedpost, which felt as if it were made of granite.
Jason hurried across the room and got to her just in time to loop his arm around her waist. But it didn't stop her forward momentum. In fact, it threw him off balance, as well, and they both fell hard onto the bed.
Just like that, she was in Jason's arms. Touching him all over. That touching part was even more noticeable because her top shifted in the fall and her now-bare stomach slipped against his midsection.
Body met body.
Breath met breath.
So did their gazes. They met. Held. And kept holding until there was a lot of unwanted energy simmering between them.
The entire encounter was powerful because it seemed to drain her brain and her common sense. For one moment she forgot all about the bitterness, she forgot all about Greg. Heck, she forgot how to breathe. And all she could remember was that being held had never felt this right.
Which meant it was wrong.
Totally wrong.
Lilly cleared her throat, hoping it would clear her head. It didn't. Worse, Jason seemed to be having the same problems with his thought process. She pulled away from him before she said something stupid like, kiss me. And for some reason, she did want him to kiss her. She wanted to know how that strong, sensual mouth would taste. She wanted to know how his lips would feel against hers.
She was obviously going crazy.
"We'll blame this on adrenaline again, okay?" he said.
It wasn't a suggestion.
Lilly nodded and adjusted her top so that her stomach was covered. She also quickly changed subjects. "I guess you must be sure the bad guy isn't close or you wouldn't be here?"
"The police arrived and are patrolling the neighborhood. If he's in the area, they'll find him. If he's long gone, then they'll beef up security at the gate. Double access codes. Extra security cameras."
All of those things were good ideas, but they wouldn't find him. Lilly was certain that the guy was long gone, which left them to deal with the aftermath. Unfortunately, part of that aftermath meant she owed Jason an apology.
"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about calling the lawyer."
Jason spared her a narrow-eyed glance. "You should be sorry."
"Well, I am."
Another glance. Followed by an angry groan. Then he stared at her. Nope. Make that a glare. "I'm really pissed off at you right now, you know that?"
"Yes." She softly explained, "But put yourself in my place and ask yourself if you wouldn't have done the same thing."
His glare didn't soften one bit. "I'm not in the mood for reasoning here, Lilly. This isn't about logic or validity. It's about the love I have for that little girl across the hall."
"It's also about the hatred you feel for me," she pointed out.
"I don't hate you."
He said it too quickly for her to believe that he'd given it any real thought. "Liar."
"I don't hate you," he insisted.
"Maybe not. But every time you look at me, you remember Greg and how I could have saved him if I'd been thinking about him instead of me."
He shrugged and propped his hands on his hips. "If you're waiting for me to deny that, I can't."
"I know you can't." Lilly considered ending this air-clearing with that acknowledgment, but they were at an impasse here, and for Megan's sake, they needed to get past it. "Because every time I look at you, I remember the accusations and the hell you put me through that night and all the weeks after it."
That was only partly true. Which made it a lie. For reasons she didn't want to explore, she no longer saw the pain of Greg's death when she looked at Jason. Instead, she saw Jason, the man. The hot cop. The person responsible for confusing her more than she could have ever imagined.
"We need to put an end to this protective custody," Lilly informed him. "We need to figure out who tried to kill me so we can all get on with our lives."
No more glaring, but there was skepticism written all over his face. "I'll listen to any ideas you have as to how we can catch this guy."
" Any ideas?" she questioned.
He frowned. "Within reason."
Well, that probably ruled out what she was about to say, but Lilly went with it anyway. "I'd like to go to my office and have a look around."
He was already shaking his head before she finished. "Too risky."
"Breathing is too risky," she reminded him.
Jason leaned in, violating her personal space. "But some breaths are riskier than others."
She didn't think it was intentional, but she knew from the look on his face that he was probably thinking about that near kiss.
Yes, that was indeed one risky breath.
He was so close that she could see the swirls of gray in his eyes. Too close. Yet she did nothing to move away. It was a cheap thrill, except she knew this cheap thrill would have an enormous price tag with the potential for her heart to be broken.
"Besides," he continued, leaning back out of her personal space, "anything you need from your office, I can bring it here."
"You can't bring a conditioned response to me. In other words, something there might trigger those gaps in my memory so we'll know who's trying to kill me. And if we know that, we can catch him."
He stayed quiet a moment and then shook his head again.
"It makes sense," Lilly continued so she could cut off any objection he might try to voice. "We could go to my office after hours, with a police escort and without letting anyone outside S.A.P.D. know. You could have the building and parking lot checked to make sure it's secure."
"But that still wouldn't make it safe."
"A half hour. That's all I'd need. Just enough time to try to relive what happened that night before someone tried to kill me."
Lilly geared herself up to add more to the argument, but the sound of Megan's fussing had both Jason and her turning in the direction of the empty doorway. It didn't stay empty for long. With Erica in hot pursuit, Megan came racing into the room, and the second she spotted Jason, she made a beeline for the bed.
"I'm sorry," Erica said, coming after the child. "She doesn't seem interested in taking a nap today."
Jason lifted the child onto the bed with them. "It's okay. She can stay in here for a while."
That must have met with Megan's seal of approval because she gave Jason a kiss on the tip of his nose. The little girl climbed out of Jason's lap and worked her tiny body in between Lilly and him. Erica quietly left the room.
Lilly leaned in closer, savoring the feel of Megan's soft skin. Taking in her scent. She ran her fingers through those curls. Like air and silk. It was one of those unforgettable moments in her life. A real turning point. Her first step at getting to know her daughter.
Jason touched Megan's hair, as well, and let his fingertips trail over her cheek. It was like a sedative for Megan because her eyelids immediately drifted down. It seemed as if she was interested in taking a nap, after all.
"If I forgive you," Jason whispered to Lilly, "if I forgive myself for what happened to Greg, it'll be like letting go of him."
There it was. The catch-22 that she'd been trying to come to terms with since that night. "I understand."
"Do you?" he challenged, but he immediately waved it off. "When Greg died, I thought there was nothing more painful than losing a brother. But now I know I was wrong." He looked down at Megan and brushed a kiss on her forehead. "There are greater heartbreaks in the world."
Yes. And losing Megan was at the top of the list.
Lilly stared at her daughter, who was nestled in the crook of Jason's arm. Megan's da-da. A connection she knew she couldn't—and wouldn't—break.
So, the question was, what kind of compromise was she willing to make to be part of Megan's life? What was she willing to do so this would work? There was only one answer; she was willing to do anything.
Anything.
And that included forging a truce, a compromise and perhaps even a relationship with her enemy. With Jason. Strange. It didn't seem as distasteful as it should.
While Lilly was mulling over that contradiction, the phone next to the bed rang.
Jason gave a weary sigh, leaned over and snatched it up. "Hello?"
Lilly couldn't hear what the caller said, but whatever it was, it didn't please Jason. He jabbed the button to turn on the speakerphone function.
"What makes you think Lilly Nelson is here?" Jason asked the caller. He looked at her and mouthed two words.
Raymond Klein.
Oh, mercy. She'd had enough of an ordeal without adding this. Yet, it was an important call because, after all, Raymond Klein was on their list of suspects. Had he called to issue some warning that he was after her? Lilly wished. Because that meant they'd know he was the one behind these attempts and the cops could haul his butt in.
"Where else would she be?" was Klein's chilly response to Jason's question.
"What do you want?" Lilly demanded. That demand earned her another glare from Jason. She was getting used to those.
"The cops keep calling me and dropping by to ask questions," Klein explained, sounding as if he were glaring, too. "You've already ruined my life—"
"FYI, you ruined your own life by getting involved with my father. If you hadn't done that, you wouldn't have been disbarred."
"I didn't do anything wrong. Someone set me up."
It was an old song and dance. One that she didn't want to hear again.
"I won't be drawn back into this, understand?" Klein continued. "My advice? Back off because I'm a desperate man, and desperate men don't play by the rules."
His words sent a chill through her. "That sounds a little like a threat, Mr. Klein."
"Maybe because it is."