Nineteen

Nineteen

DESI

It's after midnight when I ease the front door open and step into the foyer. I sit on the bench and set to work unbuckling the multiple straps wrapped around my ankles. The heels were a sexy choice but not practical for standing and dancing for hours. However, they went perfectly with my little black dress, and I don't regret wearing them.

Not only was my date handsome, but he was smart and funny and very polite. Seth opened every door and thanked our server at the restaurant before we left for the concert. He even politely declined to give an autograph, letting his fan know he didn't want to be rude to me. His taste in music was fantastic, and he didn't shy away from singing along at the top of his lungs and shaking his hips. This date would lead to a second if it weren't for one major factor.

I didn't so much as feel a spark of passion toward him.

I'll admit I wasn't in the best frame of mind. It's been three days of awkward exchanges with Jace. He hasn't hung out or eaten a meal with me. Cannon has been away on a business trip, and I've attempted to consume every free moment Meredith has away from her husband and kids. It's been miserable around here.

After lining my heels up with the other shoes, I stand. The house is dark, forcing me to feel my way to the stairs. When I reach the top, I turn to go down the hall to my room but stop. The tension in this house has gone on long enough. If I have to eat another meal alone or watch Jace rush past me to his office with a mumbled greeting, I'm going to scream.

I march in the direction of his room. When I see a sliver of light shining beneath his door, my heart speeds up. I should walk away, wait until I'm not so worked up. But this can't wait. If I go back to my room I'm just going to toss and turn all night. But if I confront him tomorrow, I'll be sleep deprived and angry. I can spare him a fraction of my wrath by handling this now.

I knock on the door but he doesn't answer, so I take a chance and just walk in.

"Jace, can we talk?" I ask in a gentle tone, even though my voice is shaking with the effort of holding back my anger. I walk toward his bed and plant my hands on my hips.

Even as I stare down at him, he doesn't answer me, doesn't so much as flinch. My nostrils flare and my anger bubbles up inside me. I fear it won't be held back much longer.

"Jace!" I yell with an odd mixture of sternness and apprehension.

It's hard to both fuel my fury and keep my gaze from traveling down his naked chest. It's like he already holds an advantage, and we haven't touched on the root of the problem.

Finally, he lowers the book he's reading. His smoky gaze drags up to my heated face. "I don't know why you're asking the question when you've already barged into my room, intent on doing just that. I can't promise you I'm in the mood to talk, but you can say what you need to get off your chest."

I start to roll my eyes but instead I just close them and take a deep breath. "Fine. I just want to know why you've ignored me since that night I gave you the lightsabers. We went from having a good time laughing and dueling to you giving me the silent treatment for days on end. What did I do wrong? Help me out here."

Jace removes his glasses and sets them on his nightstand. He rubs his temples like just my presence is giving him a headache, but I know that's not the case. He's fuming because I'm confronting him, bringing the drama straight to his bedroom. But there would be no drama if he hadn't started it.

"You've done nothing wrong, Desideria. I've just come to realize that I can't help you. Dating isn't my thing. I'm not good at it, and I don't have anything to add to the discussion. That's what you're here to do, so I'm going to erase myself from an equation I don't fit into."

"You were fine helping me with it when you thought I was going to date Cannon," I say, crossing my arms over my chest and refusing to back down. He's not telling the whole story. There's something else going on with him. "Why is it that when another man got involved, you lost it?"

"I know Cannon. He would treat you right, wouldn't take advantage of what you're offering him. The assholes on dating apps and pretty-boy baseball players don't deserve to lay a hand on you when all they see is a beautiful face and a sexy body."

I rear my head back and nod slowly. "Oh. I see. That makes sense. I suppose that's why someone as intelligent and sophisticated as you couldn't be with someone like me—nothing but a beautiful face and a sexy body." He opens his mouth to respond, and I hold up a hand, running my tongue over my teeth. I'm on a roll now, my anger unleashed, and I won't be interrupted. "No. I'm not finished. But I was good enough for you to put your hands all over, wasn't I? Even though you had no intention of taking things any further. You fingered me on the floor of an art museum and never looked back. But those men are worse? Not good enough for me?" I scoff and shake my head.

Jace flies off the bed and stands on the other side facing me. "First, don't come into my room spouting some bullshit about how I supposedly think you are just tits and ass! You deserve a man who's intelligent and worships the ground you walk on. Not for one goddamn second did I believe you were worthy of anything less." He stabs his finger into his chest and continues. "I'm the asshole. I don't begrudge you the pleasure of pointing it out. What I did was a dick move. I placed you between my legs. I told you I wanted to touch you. I fucked you with my fingers. And I knew the entire time that it was wrong. I knew it, and I didn't stop myself. So, yes, I think I'm a fantastic judge of character when it comes to the men you should stay away from."

My face is blood red for about five different reasons, and I clench my jaw before I speak. "Come off it, Jace. Perhaps I should've known better, but you ignoring me for three days hasn't really helped matters. I was merely repeating what you said—that a man would automatically only see a beautiful face and a sexy body. Is it such a leap that I thought for a second that maybe that's all you saw too?" I move closer to where he stands and he takes a step back. "And don't pretend that you don't know that I wanted you to touch me. That you don't know I've wanted you to touch me for weeks." I keep walking toward him until I'm rounding his side of the bed and he doesn't have anywhere else to go. "That I want you to touch me right now," I whisper. "When are you going to get it, Wilder? I don't want to stay away from you."

He swallows and squares his shoulders, his stormy gaze blazing into mine. "I don't want to touch you again."

Those seven words are worse than a knife plunged into my heart and twisted. Tears sting my eyes and my chin trembles. "You're a coward and a liar."

He shakes his head, but the flex of his jaw holding in his words says it all.

I take another step forward, obliterating the space between us. "The idea of another man's hands on me makes you jealous, and instead of taking what I'm so freely offering you, you're lying to me and to yourself. It's a shame that you'll never grow a pair and take what you want."

I turn on my heels and leave the room, slamming the door behind me. I storm across the landing to my room and repeat the childish action. Gritting my teeth against the scream that's threatening to erupt from my throat, I practically rip my earrings out of my ears, remove my necklace, and jerk the cover down on my bed. I start to unzip my dress and turn to the window, staring out into Jace's room, where his curtains are wide open.

He's sitting on the edge of his bed with his fingers tangled in his hair, and I feel some satisfaction knowing that I've gotten under his skin because Hades knows he's under mine.

Unzipping my dress, I step out of it and kick it across the room. I reach around to unhook my bra and lift my gaze to the window, only to see Jace looking in my direction. Narrowing my eyes, I continue what I was doing, unsnapping the clasp and dropping the bra to the floor, leaving me in my bright-red thong.

I don't have to look back to know he's watching me. Every cell in my body buzzes to life, like his gaze is his fingers trailing down my spine. I continue to prepare for bed, using my powers to hang up my dress and pull out the pins that held my curls in place. Sauntering through my room in my thong, I create menial tasks—straightening a picture on the wall, leaning into my mirror to check if I have something in my teeth, and picking up a tiny scrap of paper from the floor. After my little show, I spare a side glance out the window.

Jace throws the book sitting next to him across the room and bounds to his feet. I expect him to march into his bathroom, but he flings his bedroom door open. I freeze, my heart so heavy in my chest that it weighs down my feet. Footsteps pound down the hallway, their beat oozing with pure determination. I wait for the sound of a fist hammering against my door, but it never comes.

I sigh and turn back toward the bed, about to give up on a second confrontation with him. I don't know where he's going, but it's clear he isn't coming into my room. It's not like he can go far. He's shirtless.

And that's when the door bursts open and Jace hisses, "Fuck it. I lied."

He closes the distance between us in two quick strides. His eyes burn into me, setting every inch of my naked skin on fire. I search for my voice, fighting for the words to ask him what he's doing. But he cups my face in both his hands and presses his mouth to mine.

Every muscle in my body relaxes and I melt into him, wrapping my arms around his neck. I realize as I part my lips and open to him that he hadn't kissed me in the art exhibit that day. I'd wanted him to ever since we stood toe to toe and argued over the laundry—when his mouth brushed mine and I felt those live sparks for the first time.

This kiss is everything I'd been waiting for. His lips move with mine like they were sculpted to fit together, and when our tongues meet, it nearly takes my breath away. He tastes like spearmint and smells like soap and sundried laundry. He is warmth and strength, and I could spend hours lost in his kisses.

"How is it that you infuriate me and turn me on all in the same breath?" he asks in a husky voice.

I gasp for air and say against his lips, "You have the exact same effect on me. That's why I couldn't stay away from you any longer."

"And this little striptease you just performed, what were you hoping would come of that?" His hand slides down my spine and pauses on the small of my back. My next words will determine what he does next. Will this moment just be a kiss, or will I tell him that he needs to turn it into something more?

I don't look away from him as I say, "This. That you would be brave enough to come in here and show me what you really want from me, Jace."

He scrunches his face and his fingers fist at my back. "This is a terrible idea, but I'm tired of fighting it."

Jace's mouth falls upon my skin again and his palms slide down my ass, pulling me closer. He's rock hard, the length of him digging into my pelvis. I follow his lead as he steps forward, and I step back. My fingers grip the hair at his nape, using it to steady my trembling legs. I fear that I'm going to stumble and rip his lips from my neck, breaking the spell he's under. It doesn't happen. The back of my legs hit the mattress, and he follows me down onto the fluffy blankets as I move up toward the headboard.

He holds himself over me, one arm on either side of my shoulders. Pressing against the juncture of my legs, he creates a steady rocking that hits me in just the right place. I move with him, needing that sweet friction to push me closer to the edge, to that place where I fall into oblivion and fly.

Jace kisses from one side of my neck, across my collarbone, and back up the other side. He takes his time showing attention to the sensitive spots that have me arching into him. Pulling away from my neck, he takes my breast in his palm, stroking my nipple until it's so hard it throbs. When the stimulation becomes too much and I whimper, he drags his tongue over the peak. The warm, slick sensation drives me wild, and I grip the back of his head. He understands my silent direction and draws my nipple into his mouth.

As he sucks and nips at the delicate skin, I tug at his hair with one hand and drag my fingernails down his spine with the other, pressing him closer to me, if that's even possible. He is everywhere all at once, consuming me until I know nothing but him. He lets go of my nipple with a pop and moves to the other. Lifting his free hand, he massages the abandoned breast, rolling the hardened peak between his thumb and forefinger.

"Fuck, Jace," I gasp, rocking my hips with his, harder and faster by the second. My release is building so fast that it's almost embarrassing, but I have wanted this for so long. Ever since that night after the gala, it's him I think of every time I slide my hand between my legs.

This is everything I fantasized it would be.

"I need to taste you, Desi. Tell me to make you come with my mouth." His words are a desperate command, spoken with a gruff voice.

I'm not sure how long he's thought about putting his mouth on me, but it's clear he wants nothing more in this moment. And he isn't the only one who needs this. I am throbbing to know what it will feel like to have Jace Wilder kiss me in the most intimate of ways.

I don't even hesitate before tugging his hair until his gaze lifts to mine. "Put your mouth on me, Jace." I take his hand in mine and slide it between us so he can feel just how much I want him. "You do this to me. Every second of every day. I want you to taste me."

"Fuck." One word with so many meanings—a grateful prayer, a passion-fueled moan, a promise of what's to come.

Jace kisses his way down my body, hooking his fingers into the sides of my panties. The closer he gets to my center, the lower the lace slides down my legs. He settles between my open thighs, kissing the inside of each before placing one leg over his shoulder. With his gaze trained on mine, he glides his tongue along my seam. Never has a toy made me feel what that single stroke does.

I let out a shuddering breath and grip his hair tighter, my other hand clutching the bedsheet next to my thigh. He doesn't take his eyes off me as he slips his tongue in a little farther, and when my lips part on a silent gasp, his mouth turns up into the sexiest smirk.

He brings one finger to my center and runs it through my slit. "God, you are so wet. Do you have any idea how sexy you are when you're like this? Your legs spread for me, fingers in my hair, back arching off the bed every time I touch you?"

Before I even have a chance to answer, he dives between my legs without warning and puts his mouth on me, his tongue sinking deep inside. I squeal without any regard for how out of control I might sound; all I care about is how he's making me feel—like I'm invincible, like my body is on fire in the best possible way.

Jace hums his approval as he devours me thoroughly. The tip of his tongue glides back to my clit, and he fills me with two fingers, reaching that place deep inside me. I break, his name flowing from my mouth, my body gripping him tight. Without missing a beat, he helps me ride out my high until I have nothing left to give.

I sink into the mattress, working to catch my breath. Jace remains between my legs, bathing me with his tongue and pressing kisses to my lower stomach and thighs. He is so attentive; I hardly have a chance to bask in the aftermath of the most intense orgasm I've ever had when that needy ache returns.

He's lapping at my center again when I tug on his hair until he looks up at me with lust shining in his gray eyes. "Jace."

He plants another kiss on my inner thigh. "Yes, little hurricane? You're interrupting my dessert, so it better be good."

I clench my core and tamp down the mounting desire building within me. Damn, this man is going to take me out. Thankfully, he gives me a reprieve. Jace licks his lips and rises to his knees. I glance down at where his cock is tenting his pants. He's still as hard as he was when he came in here, and I want to help him find his release, just as he did for me.

"Let me touch you. Please."

He reaches into his pants and lowers the waist, revealing his hand wrapped around himself. Not in all my decades have I seen anyone look so otherworldly. His chestnut hair perfectly rumpled, his cut abs like something chiseled by a sculptor's hand, and his cock . . . seeing it under his boxer briefs had nothing on this. His body is flawless. Even the gnarly scar on his chest is sexy.

With lazy strokes up and down his shaft, he says, "Tonight, on your date, you didn't—" He shakes his head like he's trying to dislodge the thought. "Have you ever touched a man?"

"You know the answer to that question, Jace."

"Do I?" he murmurs, shifting closer to me.

I rise to my knees but don't move any closer to him, letting him come to me. "You should. I didn't feel a spark of electricity with my date, Jace. No part of me wanted to touch him. In fact, all I thought about the whole time was what you were doing and if tonight might be the night you spoke to me again."

"Let me hear it. I need you to say it."

"No. I've never touched a man . . . not like that."

He stares at me with pure wonder in his eyes, like he's been given the most precious of gifts.

"Come here and give me your hand, Desideria."

The command in his voice makes my heart pound against my chest and my mind reel with provocative scenarios. Does Jace only enjoy giving orders or do his sexual tastes venture into more salacious types of play? I'm desperate to know, so with no reservations, I offer him my wrist.

"Open it for me," he murmurs, and when I unfurl my fingers, he brings my palm to his mouth and licks it, sending a shock wave of desire between my legs. He closes my hand around him, and his eyes flutter shut, his perfect lips parting, a groan escaping from low in his throat.

I move my hand slowly up and down. The sensation of his skin in my palm is addictive, and I can't help but tighten my grip on him. I enjoy the way he pulsates in my hand, and I steal glances at his face. He's always handsome, but it's impossible to stop staring when he's like this—his eyes hooded, jaw clenched, chest heaving.

"Is this okay?" I whisper, moving closer to him so our legs touch.

He releases my hand and combs his fingers through my hair. "Yes. Don't stop. I'm already close."

His touch and words drive me forward, and I speed up my strokes. With each pump, he grows harder. I marvel at his response, at how his body is so different from mine. Hard and soft, chiseled and curved, and all of it desperate for more.

"Come for me, Jace," I murmur.

"Fuck, Desideria," he gasps. His desire spills from him onto his stomach and over my hand. I draw my bottom lip into my mouth as I watch the milky liquid run onto my pale skin. If I thought watching Jace's desire was hot, the sight of him losing himself is off the charts.

Lifting my fingers to my mouth, I put my first two between my lips and suck, closing my eyes as the salty taste of him hits my tongue. I hum my approval and flash him a smile. "You taste good," I say as he reaches over to my nightstand for the tissue box.

"You're a wicked thing, and that's bound to get me hard again."

I smirk and lie back against the pillows with my hands folded behind my head as he gently wipes between my thighs before moving next to me. He doesn't lie down, but just moves my hair out of my face. The tips of his fingers fall to my chest and the crescent moon surrounded by seven pointed rays marking my sternum. It has an iridescent sheen, making it slightly paler than the rest of my skin.

"What does this mean?" he asks.

I shiver at his touch and say, "It's the mark of a demon. Every being not of this realm has one. Demons bear a moon and angels a sun with the same pointed rays, but not every mark is the same size or on the same part of their body. When angels and demons are in this realm, it's impossible to tell us apart. Unless I saw the mark, I wouldn't recognize a fellow demon since only those who have a humanlike form are sent here. It's believed that the creator marked us so we could identify each other and focus on humans when we're sent to guide them."

"It's beautiful. You're beautiful."

I press my lips to his and whisper against them, "So . . . you lied." He groans and a giggle escapes me. "You really thought I was going to let you slide right past that?"

The playful upturn of his mouth returns. I've missed that barely there smile these past few days. "I was hoping that my mouth between your legs would act as penance and that you would forgive me. Do you forgive me for being a jealous, lying coward?"

I smile and pull him down next to me. "Hmm . . . all right. I forgive you. But just so you know, you aren't going to be limited to doing that only when you screw up, okay?"

He falls back on the mattress, his arms spread wide. "Oh, the torture you inflict upon me, you evil demon queen. How will I ever survive having to taste you on a whim?"

I cackle and climb on top of him, straddling his waist and leaning back on his bent knees. "And now you see my true plans. ‘Future queen of Sloth, too lazy to find a husband, shacks up with roommate instead.'"

Jace snorts and rests his hands on my hips. "You're funny. That's another reason you deserve to have the man of your dreams. You're too much fun to settle for anything less than perfect."

Lying forward on his chest, I take a deep breath and rest my chin on his pec. "That's just it. I'm actually afraid that at this point my father is going to end up choosing for me. You and Cannon have both said it yourselves; I'm running out of time. And when they find out you and I aren't going to ‘work out' after all, he's going to lose patience with me. I just know it." Meeting Jace's gaze, I add in a whisper, "So that's why I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to hear me out."

Jace sighs and runs his fingertips up and down my spine, the motion both comforting and arousing. "All right. I'm listening."

I sit up, tugging him to face me, my legs wrapped around his waist. "My date tonight was confirmation that I'm not going to find someone who wants to go back with me from this realm. The time I have left just isn't enough to convince someone to give up their life here. I'm coming to accept that. My father will make a good choice for me. I'm sure my partner will step up when I need help ruling."

"You shouldn't give up. There is someone out there. Cannon—"

I place my finger over his lips. "You're listening, remember?" He sighs, clamps his mouth shut, and I continue. "I want to use the time I have left to have these kinds of experiences . . . with you. I trust you and you know what you're doing. I don't want to waste what's left of my freedom fumbling around with someone."

He slides his palm across the side of my neck and tilts my head back with his thumb. "Are you saying you want me to be your plaything while you explore your sexuality?"

I smirk and run my tongue over my top lip, keeping my eyes on his mouth. "That's absolutely what I'm saying, Jace Wilder. Are you up for it?" I ask, tightening my legs around his waist and grinding against his growing length.

Jace tilts his head back, his eyes darting across the ceiling. He's so practical. I can almost see him sifting through all the things that can go wrong and right.

"I'll agree on one condition," he finally says.

"What's that?"

"You stay open to finding someone yourself. You're too strong to roll over and let your dad choose for you. And if you find that someone, you have to let me know."

"I can do that."

"All right. You're going to have to explain what you expect of me. I wouldn't want to cross any hard lines for you." His fingers trail down my spine until he reaches the small of my back. He pulls me in tighter until his hard cock is trapped between us.

A whimper escapes my throat as I arch my back to create more friction between us, and a satisfied smile crosses my face when a hiss slides past his lips. "What if I told you I didn't have any hard lines? I am open to anything when it comes to you. I trust you that much."

He licks a path up the column of my neck and presses his lips to my ear. "I'd say you better pray I don't ruin you, Desideria."

I tilt my neck to signal that I want more of that, tangling my fingers in his hair.

If only he knew he already has.