Sixteen

Sixteen

DESI

As we walk back to the carriage, Jace laughs and slings his arm around my shoulders. "Desi, are your brothers going to tease me like this too?"

"Of course they are. Father is a cupcake compared to them. They're relentless. So get ready for it," I say, turning and placing my palm on his chest, peering up into his face.

I'm playing the game, letting my parents see our affection in action, but I can't help feeling guilty. They've accepted him so easily. I was sure my father would wear a hard exterior up until the end of our visit and my mother would treat him with that haughty royal attitude she dons just for dramatics. When I come back home for good without Jace, they're going to be very disappointed.

Jace nudges me with his hip. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you're going to enjoy them giving me a hard time."

"I have to admit, it's fun to see you get all flustered. It's not like it happens that often, so it's sort of like seeing a shooting star or something."

"Trust me, you get me flustered too," he murmurs so quietly I almost don't hear him.

"What'd you say?"

"I—"

"It's almost time for dinner, so we better get back to the house," my father interrupts, and I could strangle him. "Jace, did you know that Desi gets irrationally angry when the family is even five minutes late for dinner?"

Before Jace can answer, I laugh and say, "When's the last time anyone was just five minutes late? I'd be thrilled with five minutes instead of twenty!"

Jace flashes a million-watt smile with dimples and all. "That must be why we get along so well. I have a thing for punctuality too."

"Just another reason you're good for each other," Mother says and climbs into the carriage.

I turn my face to the side and cringe. Our plan is working too well. My mother is practically etching our names into the his-and-her items she'll buy for our home. I wouldn't be surprised if she's imagining what her future grandchildren will look like.

The ride back to the house is full of lively conversation between Jace and my father, but Jace remembers what I told him before we left; he doesn't take his hands off me the entire time. He's either running his thumb over my knuckles or smoothing his palm over my thigh. When we pull up to the front door, he helps me out. We follow behind my parents, making our way to double doors that encompass an entire wall. The armored demons standing at each side pull on the iron door handles and reveal the dining room. Surprisingly, all six brothers and their partners are waiting for us.

"Well, I'll be damned," I say as Jace and I make our way along the stone-topped table to the two empty high-backed chairs in the middle. Doing my best to keep my composure, I glance at Jace from the corner of my eye. I'm sure a room with six red-headed demon princes and their eternal mates is quite the shock. Leather and chains, fine silk and suits, the other six future rulers of Infernis are intimidating to say the least.

"Good evening, my dear family," my father says, his voice reverberating off the walls.

"Good evening, Father," everyone replies in unison, my brothers keeping their dayglow-green eyes on my "future eternal partner."

Jace doesn't so much as flinch under their scrutiny. He studies the two enormous Gothic paintings on the walls, while keeping a firm grasp on my hand. I wonder what he thinks of the art that pays tribute to our realm's influence on bloody human wars, and the array of naked beings in compromising positions giving in to their carnal desires. I bet the seven deadly sins never felt as real as they do now. He is literally going to sit with the incarnation of them at the dinner table.

As my parents make their way to the head of the table, I study each member of my family. Tall, short, midsized, plus sized, slim, brawny, white, brown, Black, tailed, and without, my brothers' eternal partners add spice to our family dynamic. Each chose a demon whose unwavering support will make them a strong lord over their Circle. Some bonded themselves with their best friend, and others found the love of their existence. But all of them are pure chaos.

"I can't believe all of you are actually on time," I say, tapping my fingernail on the table.

"Of course we are," Avaros says, straightening his leather jacket over his bare, sculpted chest. "When Lux came back and told us how positively delicious your man was, we all wanted to be here to get a look as soon as possible." His gaze travels up and down Jace's form. "He wasn't wrong. I would want to keep him for myself too."

Jace's cheeks and mine turn the same shade of red. "Oh, for fuck's sake," I mutter. "Please stop it."

"Little sister is getting greedy," he says, taking a long sip of wine.

"He's just as delectable as I remember, Des," Mandis chimes in.

Glen crosses his arms and pouts. "What about me?"

"Do not worry, my succulent little peach. I can gorge on both of you."

"All right," I say with a clap. "Let's try to pretend we're a normal family for just one meal."

Jace meets the gaze of each of my brothers and says, "I'm flattered, but I think I already chose the sibling I like best."

My lips turn up in a smile and I slide my hand into his under the table. "Yeah? Well, that works out because I'm pretty sure she kind of likes you too," I say, leaning over and planting a kiss on his cheek, pushing back the fluttering wings in my belly.

"How many times have you bitched at me for showing affection at the dinner table?" Lux asks, while his wife's long spiked tail slithers up to where the buttons are open on his shirt, stroking his exposed chest.

I roll my eyes and shake my head. "That's because you and Bernadette would go for it in the middle of the table if someone didn't stop you. I'd like my dinner without either of your bodily fluids involved, thank you."

Jace chokes on his drink and pounds his fist to his chest to get it down.

Fier straightens his tie and brushes the lapel of his suit jacket. "Spill it, Jace. What was your first impression of our little sister?"

Everyone leans in, their undivided attention on Jace. This is the moment of truth. What he says next will determine if they're buying what we're selling. If one of them believes we aren't completely in love, I will be marrying a demon of my father's choosing.

Jace looks at me and smiles. "I won't lie. It's hard to look away when a fiery redhead with green eyes that almost glow walks into the room. Not to mention, she was wearing this blue sweater that displayed one of her many fine assets. She was so damn determined to be my roommate. But the last thing I wanted was a woman in my life, human or demon. I enjoy my freedom and having control of the things around me. But Desi upended it all." His voice drops, and it's like everyone has vanished and it's just him and me. "She's a little hurricane, leaving mayhem in her wake. But in the eye of her storm, there is a sweet moment of calm. She is the most beautiful chaos."

A chorus of awws and gagging noises—I'm pretty sure those are from Mandis—go up around the room, but they may as well not even be there.

He remembers everything about the day we met, down to the sweater I was wearing. But it's what he said last that has my heart in my stomach.

She's a little hurricane, leaving mayhem in her wake. But in the eye of her storm, there is a sweet moment of calm. She is the most beautiful chaos.

Is that just Jace playing the fake dating game for my parents' benefit? Or is that vision of me as true as the rest of his speech?

I have so much to say, but all I can manage right now is, "Is it really?" He glances down at me quizzically and I clarify, "The chaos . . . is it beautiful?" The look I give him lets him know that I'm not asking as part of the game.

He tucks a rogue curl behind my ear and the gloomy hue of his eyes brightens, turning almost a shimmering silver. "Desideria, your chaos is so fucking beautiful that sometimes, I wish it would devour me."

My lips part and I'm engulfed in flames, consuming every inch of my skin. I don't know what to say, and even if I did, I wouldn't be able to speak over the gigantic lump in my throat. I settle for leaning in and tangling my leg around his under the table, just wanting to be close to him.

After we stuff ourselves with three courses of gourmet foods, my father dismisses everyone, and Jace and I head up to my room. As soon as the door closes behind us, I plop on the bed face down.

"I am so full," I moan into my pillow. "I never eat as much as I do on family dinner nights."

"I never eat this much, period," Jace says, lying down next to me, his hand brushing my thigh for a fraction of a second. "But that food was amazing. You guys must have the best chefs in all three realms."

I can hardly think of anything except the spot where his unintentional touch still lingers. "Yeah, we do. Dad is extra about a lot of stuff, including his food." My heart bangs against my chest and I feel like I'm about to crawl out of my skin. "I'm going to change clothes," I yelp, jumping up and shuffling into the closet, shutting the door and leaning against it.

Closing my eyes, I mumble, "Get your shit together, Desi." It's just Jace. Why am I in such a mess over him accidentally brushing my freaking leg with his fingers? He held my hand and swiped curls from my face all day. But now we're getting ready to go to sleep. In the same bed.

With a deep breath, I change clothes and re-enter the room. Jace is still lying in the same spot, propped against the headboard. I smile, probably too brightly.

"Hey, sorry, just had to get out of those clothes," I say, sitting next to him, leaving a respectable distance between us.

We glance at each other from the corner of our eyes, and Jace licks his lips and tucks them between his teeth. "Is sleeping with me making you nervous? Remember, I can take the floor if that will help."

I turn to him. "No. I'm not nervous. Really. Are you?"

He tilts his head side to side, pretending like he's conflicted. But the sparkle in his eyes tells me he already knows his answer. "I don't know. Are you going to grope me in my sleep? Am I going to wake up with you wrapped around me like a koala?" He leans forward so our eyes meet. "Are you going to want to cuddle?"

The tension in the air evaporates, chased away by his humor. I'm glad he isn't taking this seriously because I feel a little stupid for not considering the sleeping arrangements before we got here. Demons don't care about modesty or stifling their desires. My parents wouldn't have expected us to worry about those things if we were truly dating.

I scoot toward him and say, "I'm big on consent, so I won't grope you. But I might tangle my legs with yours. We did that on the couch that night. I don't know if you know that."

"I know and I remember how your legs felt."

My head snaps in his direction and my cheeks redden. "What? You were awake?"

He lifts a brow and asks, "Weren't you? Because if you were, I think my legs deserve an apology. I don't recall you asking permission to give them a massage with your toes."

I groan, falling face down into the mattress. "I didn't even mean to! I was trying to figure out how the hell we ended up in that position and what body parts were where." My voice is muffled into the pillow. "I'm sorry, Jace, I didn't mean to grope your shins." A snort escapes me as I hold back hysterical, unhinged laughter.

He laughs with me. "Would it make you feel better to know I liked it and the lust your brother sensed when he walked in the house was mine?"

My laughter stops and I gnaw on my bottom lip. "It does. I mean, I already knew it was yours—Lux had no problem sharing how ‘delectable' you smelled. But it's nice to know it wasn't just a chemical reaction, that you actually liked me touching you," I whisper.

"Don't get too confident in your footsie skills. It's been a while since I woke up with a woman. I'd forgotten how good it feels to have warm, soft skin next to mine."

"I'd never known what it was like to wake up with someone beside me. You're the first person I've ever slept next to," I admit, chewing the inside of my cheek.

Jace eases down onto the mattress next to me, and the warmth radiating from him drifts to my side of the bed. It takes every ounce of my willpower not to move closer, to rest my head on his chest and trace my fingertips over his pecs. Just his presence has me acting out of sorts.

"How did you go so long without simple physical joys? You've got a good century on me, and you've experienced so little."

I adjust on my side so I'm facing him and tuck my hands under my cheek. "There's just no one I've ever wanted to share that stuff with before. I've had plenty of chances. But there's been no person I've looked at and thought, ‘Yep, I want to sleep in the same bed with him and wake up with tangled limbs the next morning.' Not until—" I stop and clear my throat. "Anyway, I'm ready to experience some things for sure."

"I thought you were going to check off a few of those things with Cannon," he begins, almost tentatively, like he's afraid I'm going to shut him down. When I don't, he continues. "You're sure you don't want to explore that? Cannon's a stand-up guy. He's smart, driven, funny . . . respectful. He'd be good to you, Desi."

"Cannon is a good guy, you're right. But even he admitted that he didn't feel anything. And I don't think that's going to change."

Jace's brows tick upward. "Cannon said that?"

"Yeah, he agreed with me one hundred percent. That it was nice, but there were no fireworks. That we were better off as friends."

"You two shouldn't give up because of one kiss, Desi. A relationship is about way more than the physical. Sparks can ignite over time. It's more important that you find someone who will always have your back—a true partner."

"I understand that, but I want it all. The kiss with him was a fine first real kiss, but I've been more turned on by the spicy books I read. And like I said the other night . . . by what you and I shared through the window." My face immediately flames with the mention of that night. "I need that kind of out-of-this-world chemistry too."

"I think I need to take a look at these books you're reading."

"You should. They're lifesavers on lonely nights. Or nights when there's nothing going on across the way in your bedroom," I tease.

Jace shoves me playfully and then gives a thoughtful hum. "I can't believe that was your first real kiss. I can understand if you were from my realm why you might avoid acting on your sexual needs, but you're from a place that's so free with everything that humans are taught is wrong. How were you able to stifle that desire for so long?"

If I had been around a being I was as attracted to as I am Jace Wilder, I never would have been able to hold back. But that's not how it's been for me. "Because no one in Infernis has made me want to explore that part of myself. I don't know, it's like . . . like I'm waiting for that one fire that I can't put out. And I hadn't even seen a spark of it here. So, it wasn't worth it to me. Which means that I am a very inexperienced demon," I say with a sheepish shrug.

"I can now see why sleeping in the same bed as me might be a little unsettling." He lifts his arm and pulls me in next to him. "But I promise I'll behave and meet your need for cuddles. You have nothing to worry about, Desi."

I snuggle into him and tuck my foot underneath his leg. "And just what do you think I might be worried about, Mr. Wilder?"

"That I might lose control and ravish you."

I know he's joking, but my breath still catches in my throat, and my gaze meets his. "And how do you know I wouldn't welcome that?"

"You don't want that, Desi. I have a track record of fucking and never calling a girl back for a second date. Nothing I can offer is romantic, or lasting, for that matter."

I want to tell him that doesn't sound anything like the man I know. He's a reliable friend and passionate about his work. Hell, the man is even dedicated to his video games. But I don't want to ruin what we have going on here. I like being this close to him, being in his arms like this.

So instead, I just say, "I'm not worried, Jace. All I want is to lie like this. It's enough."

His grip tightens on me, and he places a kiss on the top of my head. I soak up his body heat, letting it lull me to sleep. When I'm in that cozy place between awake and asleep, I swear Jace's chest rumbles and he whispers, "I'm scared it won't be enough for me."