17. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Beckett

Viktor's wounded, has been, long before me, and carelessly using one of the phrases he told me hurts him just twisted the knife. The worst part? This is all on me. I crossed the line the moment I had Viktor down on his knees. I was the one who never made it clear this was casual when I decided to let it go further.

Ironically, I don't believe my own bullshit. Not with the way I react so strongly to him being upset. Or how much I hated the way he smelled like another man that night at the club. Or how I couldn't wait to see him two nights ago, pacing around like a kid on Christmas morning waiting for their parents to get up.

And it isn't even about sex.

But like everything in my life, things just go sideways, mostly of my own volition.

"You look like shit. What's going on?" Rinne asks, pulling me out of my own head.

"Don't even know where to start."

"Guy problems?" He hands me a small bag of Sour Patch Kids.

I snatch them and tear into the candy, sighing as I chew. Rinne's become one of my new friends and knows I'm gay. But I haven't opened up about my past dating life and am definitely keeping what happened between Viktor and me under lock and key.

Especially since Viktor's shutting me out. He won't answer my texts or calls, avoided me like the plague at practice before we left. He's even calling me Coach Harper, and I fucking hate it.

I swallow the candy and stare out the window of the charter bus. "Something like that."

"Wanna talk about it? Not that I'm much help. Been out of the game for ten years."

I snort. "Lucky you. Not all of us are fortunate enough to marry our high school sweethearts."

He shoots me an incredulous look. "Don't even go there. Our relationship was some second chance romance level shit. Like it could be made into a TV drama."

My head tilts. "Really?"

He blows out a long breath. "Yup, one of those parents interfering and ruining our relationship. But it worked out in the end. Anyway, what's going on with you?"

"Psycho ex, and I met someone I like, but not sure I'm ready to jump into anything serious yet."

"Because you can control when the universe throws curveballs, huh? If that was the case, trust me, the births of my kids would've been better planned."

Ugh, he sounds like my brother. Tommy kept calling back after Viktor left, worried it had been Noah. My brother listened as I filled him in, then pretty much gave me the same speech.

I glance over the seat toward the back of the bus where Viktor's leaning against Knight because of course that's just who he had to sit with. What eats at me even more is the way he's blankly staring out the window, headphones on and hood pulled over his hat.

"Looks like you're not the only one with boy problems."

My heart rate spikes at the comment. "What do you mean?"

"He gets like this every now and then. Goes from that just started seeing someone giddiness to withdrawn and sad because he got dumped. Usually only lasts a day. But something's different this time."

My stomach twists. Rinne's words hit harder than I expected, making it difficult to breathe. Clearing my tight throat, I ask, "He said he got dumped?"

"Nah. Just seen the routine enough over the past three years. Think him and Knight even dated at one point. Glad they got over their shit."

I clench my teeth so hard they start to ache. And, of course, Knight glares right at me. So do Reed and Walsh.

Rinne looks in the same direction I do. "Gotta give it to them. They're all super protective of one another. Kinda jealous about it if I'm being honest. Wish I had a group of friends like that."

I face forward once again. "You want a bunch of entitled bullies as friends?"

"You telling me you wouldn't want rich friends? But nah, it's their loyalty, like they consider each other family. They accept each other regardless. I mean, fuck, while Novotny's a pain in the ass, I can't even imagine what Knight would be like without them."

Suddenly there's a commotion.

"Fuck off, man. Leave me alone."

We turn just as Knight kicks the back of the chair in front of him. Henneman's chair. Rinne and I are on our feet, moving down the aisle before a fight breaks out.

"Knock it the fuck off. Now!" My voice booms, low and threatening.

But Henneman ignores me and stands to face Knight. "Give it back!"

Rinne grabs him by the shirt, then pulls him toward the front of the bus, but he keeps fighting.

I face Knight, eyes narrowed. "What did you take?"

"Nothing."

"Give me whatever the fuck you took."

"Give it to him," Viktor says, continuing to stare out the window.

Knight hands over a beat-up small teddy bear. I take it, blinking a few times, then walk back to the front of the bus where Henneman now sits in my seat beside Rinne. I hand him the stuffed animal and he takes it, stuffing it into his jacket.

"It's my good luck charm." His eyes dart around and something tells me it might be more than that, but I don't push.

Rinne stands and faces the rest of the team. "You all have your little superstitions. Touch the bear again and I swear I'll rip Novotny's Ace of Spades card."

Viktor jumps out of his chair. "What the hell did I do? Don't you fucking dare touch my shit."

"Then tell your friends to stop fucking with Henneman. And, as for your card, if I destroy your good luck charm it affects the team, being you're our top goalie. So it would be in everyone's best interest to leave the fucking bear alone. Am I understood?"

They all mumble and he sits back down. Next to us, Nieminen is laughing. "Damn, Rinne. Using inside information on Novotny to get them in line. See, Harper, sometimes with these little shits you gotta play outside the lines. But you know that already."

Something about the look he gives causes me to squirm.

With Henneman in my seat, I have no choice but to take his, which means sitting next to the four Titans who want to rip my head off. Well, three of them do. Not sure where Viktor's head is at.

The rest of the ride to Penn State is quiet, thank God. I even take a little nap. When we pull up to the rink, everyone disembarks, making their way inside.

Or so I think.

Because the next thing I know, I'm being dragged behind the bus, then slammed up against it.

Knight, Walsh, and Reed crowd me, their eyes narrowed and lips pressed into thin lines.

"You wanna go at me, threaten me if I touch him? You made him sad. I fucking swear I even saw tears. You made him cry!" Knight's fist tightens around my jacket.

"Jeez, Coach. What did you do to him?" Reed eyes me, waiting for an answer.

While I should be angry, scared even, all I can think about is what Rinne said earlier and how it would be nice to have friends that cared this much.

"You hurt him? Do something you shouldn't have? Do we need to make you disappear too?" Walsh smirks as he says it. "I'm sure Buckland would like some company."

My eyes widen as I inhale sharply. They killed their former coach.

Holy shit.

Knight snorts. "Looks like he's finally getting with the program."

"Let him go."

I don't need to look to see who it is. But the barely-there tone is like a stab in the chest. When I do turn, Viktor's eyes are downcast. "Viktor?"

He still avoids my gaze and faces his friends. "We need to warm up."

The four of them head off toward the rink and I stare after them—after him—hoping he'll turn around. But he doesn't.

I rake my hands through my hair, tugging at the roots, regretting ever mentioning us being casual because no matter how logical it would be, we're not.

Now I just have to figure out how to fix this.