Chapter 32

32

Everything smelled clean. Clean and sterile. Candace loved it. Almost as much as she loved feeling safe. As minutes passed and she became more aware of her surroundings, another scent filled her senses. It was one that she'd become fond of—the scent of woodsy cologne mixed with shampoo, soap, and mint. She'd recognize it anywhere. Even in the middle of a hospital, it seemed.

Ryan.

"I think she's waking up."

Keeping her eyes closed, she registered the voice. Her mother.

"I hope so," her father whispered. "The doctors said it would be anytime now. Come on, Candace," he coaxed in a louder voice. "Come back to us."

Did she want to? She wasn't sure. Here in her self-made cocoon, nothing could hurt her. She was safe and clean and didn't hurt. She didn't want to face reality.

"Ryan, what do you think is wrong?"

"I don't think anything is," he said in a soft, sure voice. One of his hands caressed her arm. His touch was warm and solid and sure. He wasn't touching her as if she was fragile. Only as if she mattered to him.

"I think she just needs a little bit longer," he said in a low voice. She sensed him lean forward, just as one of his fingers lightly caressed her cheekbone. "I know it's hard, darling girl, but you can do this," he whispered.

"The doctors did say that might happen." Her father sounded so worried.

She knew it was time to open her eyes and face them all. She just hoped she wouldn't see recriminations in their eyes.

"Candace, it's okay," Ryan whispered in her ear. "If you want me to stay with you, I will. I'll protect you from anything you want me to." He paused. "And if you want me to leave ..." He paused again. "If ... if you want all of us to leave, I'll make that happen as well."

She knew he was telling the truth. She didn't know how he could make all her wishes happen, but she realized now that Ryan would do whatever it took. That was the kind of man he was. Capable. True.

She had no idea what their future entailed, but she did know that right at this moment, she wanted him by her side. Maybe that was enough? She wasn't sure.

As his fingers curved around her hand, she gripped them. An unspoken response for him to remain.

She could feel some of the tension emanating from him dissipate. "Thank you, sweetheart," he said.

"Did she just say something, Ryan?" her mother asked, her voice anxious. "Candace, can you hear us?"

Taking a deep breath, she found her voice again. "Yes, Mom."

Hearing her mother release a ragged breath, Candace knew it was time to pull out of her cozy cocoon. She owed her parents that. She opened her eyes.

"Oh, Candace. Thank the Lord." Her mother's eyes filled with tears.

"It's okay," she whispered.

"Oh, honey. It's okay now that I know you're with us again."

Her father came over and kissed her brow. "Candace."

"Hi, Daddy."

"You gave us a scare."

She smiled weakly. "I know." She'd been scared too. "I'm going to be okay, though."

"I know you will," Ryan said.

To her surprise, both of her parents stepped a little bit away, allowing Ryan to get close again. When he ran his fingers along her arm, warming each inch with his touch, she relaxed. "How is Bethanne?"

"Bethanne? She's doing okay," her mom said. Swiping her wet cheeks, she gathered herself together. "Like the rest of us, she's been worried about you."

"The last I saw her, she was running away." Still feeling in a fog, Candace cleared her throat. "So, she found someone? She's really okay?"

"Yes, honey. Bethy's okay," her mother soothed. "Bethanne found Jay and Lott, believe it or not." She paused as Ryan helped Candace take a sip of water through a straw. "Jay and Lott got tired of waiting and decided to search for you. They remembered that old shack on the Lerners' property."

"Actually, I think it was Jay who came up with that idea," her father said as he approached the other side of her hospital bed. "He's the reason we realized you and Bethy were gone. He'd been trying to find her to say good night and knew she'd been with you. When he couldn't find you, he knew something was wrong."

She looked at Ryan.

He nodded. "There are a lot of heroes involved—including you and Bethanne. You girls were so brave and tough."

"I was scared."

Sympathy shone in his eyes. "I know, but you didn't give up. I'm so proud of you." Rubbing his thumb over her knuckles, he added, "I promise, Bethanne is okay. Like your mother said, she's been worried about you."

"Is she here in the hospital too?"

"No, honey," her mother said. "She ... she wasn't as badly hurt as you. She's resting at home. Do you want her to come see you? Dad or I can go get her."

"Or I can send someone from the station," Ryan added. "It's no problem."

"No. It's okay."

"You sure?" Her mother brushed back her hair. "We'll do whatever you need, Candace."

"I'm sure. And you're right, it's best for Bethanne to be at home. It..." She ran out of words. How could she convey just how scared they'd been?

How desolate she'd become?

To her surprise, her mother's expression crumbled just as her father pulled her into his arms. "Honey, we're going to get your mother a soda," he whispered. "You know how a Diet Coke can pretty much solve all her problems."

For some reason, that was what Candace needed to hear. Not the Diet Coke cure-all, but the reminder that life went on. Even as hurt and sore as she was, she was grateful to be alive and to have her parents. "I love you both."

"And we love you back," her father said. "Now, um, you, ah, take a moment with your man here. He's been a wreck. We'll be back in about a half hour." He paused. "That good with you, Ryan?"

"Yes, sir. I'll watch over her." He looked down at his hand on her arm as her parents closed the door behind them.

Now they were alone. Candace hurt all over, but nothing was unbearable. She supposed one of the tubes attached to her arms was responsible for that.

When Ryan said nothing for a few seconds, she began to get worried. Peeking, she noticed that he was barely looking at her in the eye. Was he uncomfortable? Was he only staying because she needed him so much? "If you'd like to leave too, you can."

Leaning down, he carefully brushed a strand of her hair away from her face. "I don't want to leave, honey. I don't want to leave you ever again."

What did he mean by that? She swallowed and stared at him.

"Candace, I need to tell you something, but I don't know how."

What was wrong? She closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to see his expression. "You can say whatever you want."

"All right." He took a deep breath. "Sweetheart, I ... I'm sorry. I'm having such a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I let you down so badly."

Stunned, her eyes popped open. "You didn't."

"Yeah, I did. We knew someone was stalking you. I should've tried harder to figure out who it was."

"Scott wasn't at every appearance, and I didn't even know his name."

"Still."

"Ryan, Scott knew me. He remembered me from high school." Her cheeks heated. "It was so awful. He was acting like I should've remembered him too. If I had, I think things sure would've been different."

"No, don't put the blame on yourself. When we were hunt ing him down, we talked a lot about how people's appearances change, especially between ages fourteen and eighteen or nineteen. It's also true that Scott went out of his way to look different, what with his scruffy face and longer hair."

"I don't know. Maybe some of the blame is mine. How could I not even remember talking to him? Was I just that self-centered?"

"Don't you do that to yourself. His fixation wasn't healthy. It wasn't normal. This isn't on you."

She heard his words. She just wished she believed them completely. Realizing that she didn't even know what had happened to Scott, she looked at Ryan warily. "Where is he now?"

"He's at the station in holding. Once he's had psychological testing, he'll be sent to the county jail or a psychiatric facility."

"So ... he's not about to get out?"

"Sweetheart, he kidnapped you and Bethanne, has been stalking and terrorizing you for months, and assaulted you. In addition, we've figured out that he was the one who set the fire near the dumpster at Burke's and stole those cards." His gaze darkened. "We think he's been planning to kidnap you for a while. Scott Conway will not be getting released anytime soon." Picking up one of her bandaged hands, he pressed his lips to her fingers. "You're safe. It's over."

She liked that idea. She wanted it to be over.

A knock on the door interrupted them.

"I heard you were awake," a nurse in light blue scrubs said as she walked in, pulling a cart. "It's time to check your vitals."

Ryan let go of her hand. "I'll wait out in the hall."

She didn't want him to leave. She wanted to hold his hand and close her eyes again and pretend that everything was going to be just fine. But that wasn't how she was supposed to act. "Okay."

"Your young man has been worried sick about you, dear," the nurse murmured as she put a blood pressure cuff on her arm. "You are blessed to have him in your life."

Candace didn't dare correct the nurse, but the fact was that she didn't know if Ryan actually was hers. Sure, he'd been her escort and he'd been affectionate and caring, but they had never made a relationship more than friendship official.

The nurse didn't seem to need a reply as she chattered on, discussing the weather, lightning bugs, her beagle, and a sale at the market. All the while, she checked Candace's pulse, temperature, and IV site and bag. When she paused for a breath, she was looking carefully at the stitches on her face. "How's your pain, dear?"

"I don't know."

She frowned. "On a scale of one to ten, with ten being the worst, what do you think?"

"I don't know. Maybe a five?"

"The doctor said to go ahead and adjust your pain medication if needed. It might make you sleepy, though."

"That's fine." No, it was better than fine. She had no desire to do anything but sleep and exist.

And try to forget what it felt like to sit in the middle of several hundred altered pictures of herself while a madman sliced open her face.

But she wasn't sure if forgetting that would ever be possible.