Chapter 13

13

Jay looked around the facility's showroom. There were about a dozen people in the vicinity. Mr. Burkholder's office was in the front, as well as the offices of the vice president in charge of finances and Mary, who handled human resources. Everyone was doing their jobs and seemed to give him and Bethanne no more than a curious glance.

He knew better, though. It might be a professional organization that sold millions of dollars of merchandise annually, but rarely did one of their workers get asked to come to the showroom by the boss because a woman had decided to pay him a visit.

As much as he was delighted to see Bethanne, Jay felt awkward. How could he not? And, if he were honest, a little put on the spot. Hopefully nothing was wrong. "Is anything the matter?"

"Jah." When his concern must have shown on his face, her eyes grew bigger. "I mean, nee."

What was going on? Was she playing some sort of game with him? Tamping down his impatience as best he could, he asked, "Is it yes or no?"

She looked down at her feet, then drew a breath and met his gaze. "I mean, I've been feeling badly about my rudeness when you came calling. I wanted to apologize."

He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "So you decided to come here in the middle of the day?"

Looking even more uncomfortable, she swallowed. "Jah. But I hadn't thought it through. All I was thinking about when I woke up was that I didn't want to wait another day to apologize." She waved a hand. "Jay, I promise. I was about to turn around when Mr. Burkholder got to talking with me. Before I realized who he was, I admitted that I'd come to see you but thought your boss would get mad. Next thing I knew, he was opening the door and ushering me inside."

"Wow." So now Mr. Burkholder was up to date on his social life.

Reaching out, she placed her hand on his forearm. "I hope you're not mad. I didn't know how else to find you easily."

"Except come to mei haus?"

She pulled her hand back, the last of the small bit of confidence that had been shining in her eyes fading. "Well ... jah. Except that." She tensed and shook her head. "You know what? You're right. Deciding to just come here in the middle of a workday was a mistake. A big one. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I'll leave right now."

"Nee."

"See you—" She must not have heard him.

"Nee, Bethanne," he said louder. Stepping to her side, he reached for her hand to lead her through the two glass doors that led outside.

When she didn't fight him, he counted that as a win. And when she curved her fingers around his as they walked into the bright sunlight, he figured it was a miracle.

Burke Lumber not only paid well and had a great staff rec room, but Mr. Burkholder had also provided a secluded outdoor seating area for employees to eat lunch or take breaks. A privacy fence surrounded the area, and amid the trees and shrubs were tables and chairs and even three rocking chairs.

He led her to a table. "Let's sit for a moment."

Thankfully, she didn't refuse. But she perched on the edge of the chair as if she feared she might need to jump up to put distance between them. With her hands clasped on her lap, she looked prim and proper. And anxious.

No. She looked ready. Ready for him to chastise her and make her cry.

He had no intention of doing that.

But now that they were committed to the conversation, Jay wanted to get to the heart of their problem. No, the heart of his problem. Even if it was painful. He wanted to know the answer, even if it would mean that his dream would never be a possibility. That was better than not knowing. "Bethanne, where do you see our relationship going?"

"What do you mean?"

"I think we both know what I mean," he said in as slow and easy of a tone as he could manage. "I haven't been shy about my feelings for you, just as you haven't been shy about your feelings for me."

She nodded.

"So, I'm asking you now, would you like me to leave you alone?"

"You'd do that?"

"Jah."

Was that hope shining in her eyes? And if so, was it hope that he really would leave her alone? Or something else? He wished he could tell without her seeing the hope that was no doubt shining in his own eyes. He wasn't ready to lay himself bare like that.

He didn't have a pair of sunglasses on him, though, so he was going to have to be honest. Even if it killed him. "I'll do whatever you need me to do so you can be happy."

She stared at him. With a shade of wonder in her voice, she whispered, "You mean it, don't you?"

"Yes." The tightness in his throat kept him from saying any more.

She exhaled. Nodded a few times. Then swallowed. "I ... I don't want you to leave me alone. Jay, I think we could be friends."

Friends. Well, that was ... something, he guessed. "All right." He smiled tightly, but his insides were a confused ball of hurt. Just what did that mean? Did she want him to call on her again? Wave to her when they passed on the street? Try not to make a nuisance of himself when they sat across the aisle from each other in church?

Maybe it didn't even matter.

He stood. "Thanks for coming by."

"Nee, wait." She scrambled to her feet. "Jay, what I came here to say but somehow lost my nerve ... was this." She took a deep breath. "If you decide to come calling again, I will come downstairs." Her eyes widened. "Nee. I mean, I'll be glad you are visiting."

"Glad?"

Her cheeks were now a lovely shade of pink. "Yes. Glad."

His expression warmed. "Then I'll pay you a visit soon."

"You will?"

"I'm not interested in making your life more difficult, Bethanne. I just want to be in it." No, he wanted to be so important to her that she couldn't imagine starting a day without him by her side.

She released a ragged sigh. "All right, then."

She looked so lost. Before he thought better of it, he reached for her hand. It was soft and smooth and surprisingly cool. He ran his thumb along her knuckles. Enjoyed the pattern of the delicate bones underneath the thin barrier of skin.

She watched as he did that, then raised her chin. Met his eyes.

"I appreciate you coming to see me here. I know it wasn't easy for you."

Bethanne nodded. "I'm glad I did."

"I'll see you soon."

Her brown eyes turned languid and soft. Sparking a new wave of desire to know her better. Then, all too soon, she pulled her hand back. He released it.

"I better go now. Bye, Jay."

"Bye, Bethanne."

Needing a moment to come to terms with what had just happened, he stayed where he was as she went back into the building. And remembered all the times when they were younger and he'd wanted to get her attention so badly but knew that wouldn't be welcomed. And he once again wished that Peter Miller hadn't done what he did. Even if it meant Jay would never get a chance with Bethanne, it would be worth it for her not to have been hurt.

He hated what she'd had to endure the last seven years. But now things seemed to be changing for the better—for both of them. Pretty, sweet, shy Bethanne Hostetler had finally consented to him calling on her.

It seemed miracles happened after all.