Chapter 30

Tabitha hadn't wanted to stay overnight in the hospital, but she hadn't put up much of a fight. She'd been shaking and hurting and needed to feel safe. The nurses and doctors had done a good job with that. In addition to letting Seth stay by her side past regular visiting hours, almost every hour someone had come in to check on her.

When she'd woken up bleary-eyed and exhausted this morning, she'd been ready to go home. She knew she'd be a little frightened there, but she had good locks on her doors. She would be all right.

Then the doctor surprised her by recommending that she stay another night. It seemed they were still worried about a possible concussion since she'd almost passed out when she'd tried to walk to the bathroom.

She was just glad to not have to be alone just yet. Even though Deputy Ernst had come in and promised that Leon was behind bars and wasn't eligible for bail, she wasn't sure if she completely believed it.

So, maybe it was good that she was in her hospital room. But as she tapped a button on the TV's remote control and watched the variety of stations flicker across the screen, Tabitha knew that while she might feel safe, she was also going to be very bored. And uncomfortable. Her hospital bed's mattress was hard and unforgiving. Not very comfortable at all.

When her door opened after the briefest of knocks, she turned toward it in time to see Seth come in. "Seth. You came back."

He crossed the room, then leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Of course I did. I told you I would. Were you wondering where I was?"

She had been, but admitting that would tell him too much. "No. I'm just pleased to see you."

He glanced at the clock on the wall. "Sorry, but I had to wait until visiting hours began. I didn't think the nurses would let me come early after they let me stay here so long last night."

"I understand."

"Do you?" He frowned as he sat down. "Then why am I getting the feeling that you're surprised to see me?"

"I don't know."

"Tabitha, talk to me."

Feeling foolish, she said, "I guess I just thought you'd be ready for a break from me."

His steel-blue eyes seemed to look all the way inside her heart. "I didn't want to leave your side last night. Did you not think that meant something?"

"I knew it did." She was at a loss for words and feeling flustered. That feeling only got worse when he remained silent, waiting for her to continue. She waved her good hand. "I don't know what else to say." It was a miserable thing to admit but the truth. Seth seemed to turn her mind into mush.

"I happened to see your nurse in the hall. She said they've recommended you stay another night."

"Yes. The doctor thought it would be a good idea." No way did she want to admit to Seth that she feared everyone knew she was afraid to be home by herself.

"Honey, I'm glad they're keeping you here. You'll be able to rest." His eyes were filled with compassion. "And let's not forget your broken wrist."

He'd called her honey. She mentally tried it on for size and decided she liked it. "I haven't forgotten my wrist." She frowned down at her arm. The bandages were bulky, and her wrist was throbbing. Actually, she was so bruised and sore, she didn't know how she was going to do a single thing when she got home. She couldn't even imagine getting dressed by herself.

"Are you in pain?"

"My shoulder and wrist hurt." Actually, pretty much every part of her body hurt. Besides the black eye and her shoulder and wrist, she had an assortment of bruises and abrasions all over her. The doctor had reminded her that recovery was going to take time. Maybe even weeks before she felt like her old self.

Seth pushed a button beside her bed.

"Yes?" a woman's voice said.

"I'm here visiting Tabitha Yoder. She's in a bit of pain. Can you help her with that?"

"I'll come right down."

When Seth leaned back with a satisfied expression on his face, she shook her head. "You didn't have to call the nurse."

"Of course I did. I could see you weren't about to call for help yourself."

"I hate to be trouble."

"You're here because the doctors and nurses feel that you need help, Tab. Asking for pain medication is not too much trouble. It's why you're here, jah?"

"Jah."

"Hello, Ms. Yoder." The nurse in yellow scrubs who came into the room a few minutes later was one Tabitha hadn't seen before. "I'm Monica. I understand that your man here said you're in some pain?"

Her cheeks heated in embarrassment. The nurses thought Seth was "her man." "Yes."

"How bad is it on a scale of one to ten?" she asked as she reached for Tabitha's good wrist.

"Seven?"

"That's not good." Monica took her pulse and entered it on the computer screen. Next, she clicked on another icon on the flatscreen. "It's been a while since your last dose. I'm glad you said something. You've got to stay on top of it."

"Okay."

Monica picked up her syringe, double-checked the amount and name, and then inserted it into Tabitha's IV. "You should start feeling some relief before you know it. Ten minutes at the most."

"Thank you."

"If there's no improvement, buzz again, okay?"

Tabitha nodded.

"Now, do you need anything else? More water? Maybe some juice and crackers?"

She glanced at Seth. He didn't say a word, but she knew what he was thinking. "Juice and crackers sound good."

He reached out and gently ran the tips of his fingers along her forearm. The soft touch encouraged the hair on her arm to stand up and chill bumps to form. Had her body ever reacted like that before? She couldn't remember. She'd never responded like that to Leon, not even when he'd been courting her and had seemed so kind.

She knew now that her feelings for Leon had never been about love. At first, she'd been flattered by his regard, but then that had slowly disintegrated into a desire to please him. Then that had turned to fear. If she'd ever gotten chill bumps with him, they'd been from trepidation, not desire. Not love.

Was that how she felt about Seth? Had she fallen in love with him? Did she even know what love felt like?

And did he feel the same way? Or was he simply trying to take care of her because he knew she was alone? Worse, maybe he pitied her? How mortifying would that be, to realize that she loved Seth but he only felt pity for her. Feeling confused, she drew her arm closer to her body.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked.

"Nee."

"You sure about that?"

"Yes."

Looking concerned, Seth leaned closer. "Tabitha, tell me what you're thinking. You don't have to be afraid to be honest."

"I ... I don't know what you want me to say." Her cheeks burned. She was starting to wish the nurse would've asked him to leave. Or that Monica would've given her a stronger painkiller that would make her too tired to visit. Then, at least, her nerves wouldn't feel so frayed and worn. But she'd also be alone with her thoughts when she woke up again.

She released a ragged sigh.

"How's the pain? Have you noticed any difference?"

"Jah. It is better." He didn't need to know that she was only just now realizing that the pain had subsided to a dull ache.

Seth smiled. "I'm glad."

"Perhaps it would be best if you left now."

A line formed between his brows. "Why?" His voice lowered. "Tab, what's going on?"

"Nothing. It's just that I'm sure you have other things you'd rather be doing."

"Being here beside you is the only place I want to be."

His words were captivating. His voice was so sincere. But she wasn't sure about his reasons. "Why?"

He looked nonplussed. "Why?"

"Yes." She was embarrassed, but she needed to know the truth. "Are you here out of pity?"

"Pity? Ah, no." Seth shifted, edging closer. "Tabitha, maybe we should talk about a couple of things when you get out."

"Like what?"

"Well, I want to make some changes. As long as you're good with them."

"Changes?"

"I'll be clear, then. First off, I'm going to be coming over to your place a lot."

"There's no need for you to do that. I'll be fine. I mean, the sheriff promised me that Leon won't be getting out anytime soon."

His expression warmed. "I won't be visiting for your safety, honey."

There was that word again! Her skin tingled. Afraid to misread what he was saying, she blurted the first thing that came to her lips. "I have a lot of firewood."

A smile touched the corners of his mouth. "Sorry, but I'll not be coming over to chop wood." He paused. "Or to shovel your driveway or gather eggs or clean your house."

"R-Roy said he would come over more often. Actually, they all will. Mary told me that all of them want to spend more time with me." When Seth didn't look like that made a lick of difference to him, she added in a whisper, "I won't be so lonely."

"You're right. You won't."

"Seth?"

He chuckled. "I guess you're going to make me say it, huh?" Reaching out, he wrapped his fingers around the top bar of her bed's side railing. "Tabitha, I'm going to be coming over and spending time with you because I've fallen in love with you."

She could practically feel the blood rushing out of her head. Her vision swam a little like she might faint.

"You look pale as a ghost!" Seth pushed the button on her bed so she was sitting up more and handed her a plastic water bottle. "Sip."

She swallowed some of the icy water. It did help, but she still felt discombobulated.

"Tab, what's wrong?" Looking crushed, he said, "Do you not feel the same way?"

"Of course I do. It's just ... I guess I'm still afraid to trust."

"There's no reason to be afraid. We've got time. We've got all the time in the world. We'll take things as slow as you want. I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm damaged, you know."

"You'll heal."

"I mean my heart is damaged."

"I was talking about your heart. It's going to heal, Tab. Before you know it, your heart is going to heal and you're going to trust falling in love again." He lowered his voice. "If you want to know the truth, I think there's a very real possibility that you love me too. But you're just scared."

Maybe she was, maybe she wasn't. "There's nothing wrong with being scared."

"I don't think so either, honey. Because I'm going to do everything I possibly can to make you want to love me."

"And until then?"

"Until then, I'll love you enough for both of us."

While she gaped at him, Seth stood, leaned down, and carefully pressed his lips to hers. "Relax, Tabitha," he whispered and kissed her again.

The kiss was sweet. Tender. Filled with tamped emotion.

Chill bumps appeared on her arms again, but she pretended not to notice.