Chapter 19

Tabitha knew she was being hard on herself, but she couldn't help it. She'd been such a fool. No, it was worse than that. She'd been stupid.

She'd woken up that morning feeling like she was going to climb the walls of her house if she didn't get out for a spell. At first, she tried to ignore the feeling. Then, after lunch, she felt the pull again. By three o'clock, she didn't want to fight it anymore. So, even though she had a very good reason for staying inside behind locked doors, she'd left her house and had tea with Mary.

Her sister and the boys had been happy to see her. Well, the boys had been. Mary had seemed surprised and a little wary to have Tabitha over without Roy's permission, but she'd been cordial enough. After staying only a half hour, Tabitha still hadn't been ready to go home, so she'd gathered her courage and gone to the market for deli meat and cheese. It had been years since she'd done that.

She'd felt pretty good about her burst of bravery too. Even though Martha Brenneman had barely been civil and Ivan Troyer had taken one look at her and gone down a separate aisle in the store, Tabitha hadn't let that bother her. Especially since she'd taught Martha's daughter Daisy, who'd been a poor sport. More than once Tabitha had tried to help the child to not be so competitive and such a sore loser. Her words of wisdom hadn't done much good, though.

But when she returned home, Tabitha had realized that leaving had been a big mistake. A gift of yarn had been waiting on her front doorstep. She'd picked up the skein with a cry of pleasure, ignoring the note beside it. The yarn was spun from alpaca fur, so soft and luxurious—and no doubt expensive.

Sure that Mary had dropped it off as an apology for her less than welcoming attitude, Tabitha had torn open the card's envelope and read the note scrawled inside. And felt like she was going to be sick.

Then she knew she was.

She'd run inside, dropping the yarn and card and her keys onto the coffee table, and barely made it to the toilet in time. Only after she washed her face and brushed her teeth did it occur to her that she hadn't locked the front door before running down the hall.

How could she have been so foolish? Leon could've been lurking in the woods, watching her open the yarn and run inside. He could even be in the house now, just waiting for her to walk out of the bathroom. That thought made her feel sick all over again.

Hands shaking, she pressed the lock on the door. Enclosing her in the small, tiled space.

Her brow grew damp.

If he was there, he'd have a smile on his face. Sometimes she'd felt as if he'd almost looked forward to her doing something wrong. Then he could justify his actions to himself. During her weakest moments, she'd almost believed she deserved to be punished too.

"Nee," she whispered. "You know better than that. You're stronger than to think such things. Plus, you never deserved his abuse. No matter what you did, you never deserved that."

She wanted to believe that small voice in her head. She really did. But years of hiding still got the best of her and she fell back into old habits in the blink of an eye.

Her keys clattered on the living room floor.

He was out there. He'd gotten in.

Tabitha clenched her teeth so she wouldn't scream. Then she heard a soft whine and a scratch at the bathroom door.

"Chance!" She'd forgotten all about the dog.

Chance whined again, this time far more high-pitched. He pawed at the bathroom door again. He sensed her distress. She knew he did.

With her shaking hand on the doorknob, she willed herself to release the lock and turn the knob. She needed to face her fears, calm Chance, and call Sheriff Johnson about the yarn and note.

She almost felt safe. Almost. But still she hesitated.

Glancing at herself in the mirror, she saw a pale face looking back at her. A line of perspiration bordered her hairline.

No, she wasn't safe here. It was an illusion. Especially since she didn't have her phone. Maybe Leon had been right, after all. Maybe she really was stupid and couldn't do anything right.

"Nee. That's not true." She swallowed. "It's not true at all," she added, her voice a bit louder.

Chance whined again.

She couldn't leave the dog alone in the hall. "I'm here," she said.

When she finally released the lock and opened the door, a waft of fresh, cooler air greeted her. She breathed in deep.

Chance pawed at her leg.

"I'm sorry, Chance," she said. "I don't seem to be myself. Are you all right?"

The hund looked up at her, his brown eyes full of compassion. His tail wagged.

She knelt down and ran her hand along his back. "It's okay," she whispered. "You are a gut dog."

Unable to help herself, she crept through the house. It was silent. She found the keys on the floor and realized the dog had probably nosed them off the table when he sniffed the yarn. After returning them to the table, she went to the front door and turned the deadbolt. And looked again at the skein of yarn and note that Leon had left for her to find.

Goose bumps formed on her arms.

She hurried to the kitchen, opened the drawer, and pulled out her cell phone. With Chance pressed close to her legs, she scanned through her very short list of contacts and then pressed the one for the sheriff's office.

A man answered on the first ring. "Sheriff's Office. This is Deputy Junior Ernst."

Fighting the urge to hang up, she spoke. "H-hello. This is Tabitha Yoder."

"Who?"

"Tabitha Yoder. I usually talk to Sheriff Johnson."

"Oh. Sure. The other day, he told me you were here and why. How may I help you, Ms. Yoder?"

"My ex-husband was here. I ... I have a restraining order against him. He shouldn't be here."

Deputy Ernst's voice turned far more serious. "No, ma'am, he sure shouldn't be. Are you okay? Is he still there?"

"I ... I don't think so. I left for a couple of hours, but when I came home, I found a skein of yarn and a note that he left for me."

"Where was it?"

"On my front steps. I'm scared, Deputy. Could I please speak to Sheriff Johnson?"

"I'm sorry. He's out on a call, but I'll be right there. Do you need any medical attention, ma'am?"

"No, I'm okay. Just please hurry if you can? I'm afraid he's still here. What if he's still here?"

"Are you inside?"

"Jah."

"Stay inside and keep the doors locked. I'm getting in my vehicle now. I'll be there within fifteen."

Fifteen minutes. It sounded like an eternity, but if she just took one moment at a time, she could handle it. Hopefully. "Are you sure you're on your way?"

"Yep. I promise. Keep your phone with you, Tabitha. I'll call when I'm close."

"Okay," she said. Then realized he'd already hung up.

Outside, the wind picked up. Glad that she had one or two flashlights in every room, Tabitha reached for the biggest one in the kitchen. It was a camping light and could rest on a table or floor and deliver a sizable beam onto the ceiling. The house had been so dark when she arrived.

Once again, she wished she'd had enough money to wire the house with electricity. Having lights on a timer like some of the English homes did would be wonderful—and a bright house would seem less scary.

Still shaking, she looked at her phone's screen. Only two minutes had passed. She had thirteen to go until the deputy arrived. It might as well be thirteen hours. On impulse, she called Seth.

"Tabitha?"

"Did I wake you up?"

"Wake me? Nee. It's only five o'clock. I was just relaxing after a long day at work."

"Oh. Of course. Sorry—"

"Hey. Are you all right?"

"I don't know."

"What happened? Are you hurt? Do you need something?"

She loved that he always asked about her first. Seth made her feel important and like she mattered in all sorts of ways. "Leon was here."

"What? Are you alone now?"

"Yes. I-I called the sheriff's office, but the sheriff wasn't in. The deputy answered."

"Did you tell him what happened?"

The patience and concern in his voice soothed her. "I did. Deputy Ernst said he's on his way over." She looked at the kitchen clock. "He won't be here for another ten minutes."

"I'm on my way."

Gratitude clutched her heart. "Seth, you don't have to do that."

"Tab, would you like me to come over?"

"Yes." She hated how small her voice sounded. "I'm afraid Leon is still out there."

"He better hope he's not."

She hated the idea of putting Seth in danger. "Maybe you should stay away after all. He's strong."

"I'll be careful."

"But—"

"Tabitha, I'm strong too. I'll be okay." She heard a door open on the other end of the line. Maybe he was getting his coat? "I'm going to walk over now. Going through fields will get me there quicker than in my truck. We can talk while I head your way."

"You don't mind?" Grasping the cell phone like a lifeline, she still felt like she was asking too much of him.

"I don't mind at all. Now, tell me what you did today."

"I went to see Mary. And went to the market."

"Did you now?" There was a faint echo to his words, letting her know that he was outside. He was on his way to her.

"I even saw Martha Brenneman."

"How did that go?"

"Not too good. She would barely look at me. I pretended I didn't notice, though."

"Good for you." His voice had lifted. She could practically see him smiling. "I'm glad you didn't let Martha's bad manners bother you. Martha wasn't nice even when you were a teacher." His voice was gentle and encouraging.

"You shouldn't say that."

"I can't help it if it's true."

True. "I suppose you have a point." After walking to the stove, she put on the kettle. Then, seeing that Chance still hadn't left her side, she opened a jar and handed him a dog treat. "What did you do today?"

"I've been working on a house in Marion. The family needed a handyman, so I've been doing all sorts of things, from fixing some chewed floorboards to switching out faucets and building some shelves for their garage."

"Do you like doing so many things?"

"I do with this job. The couple is nice. The husband works at a bank. Plus, it's a happy home. I've been doing work around two kids and two Labrador retrievers." He chuckled. "There's fluff from the dogs' black fur everywhere."

"Sounds chaotic and messy."

"It is. But the kinner are friendly and don't seem to fear me, which I appreciate. I'm less than five minutes away now."

Five minutes? He had to be jogging. But she could do five minutes. "That's gut." She sat on one of the kitchen chairs, too afraid to go into the living room. Anyone could be looking inside.

"Tabitha?"

"Jah?"

"Try not to let your imagination run wild."

"I'm trying not to, but Leon could be in the yard, Seth. He could be hiding and watching me through the window."

"He could. But he also might not be, right?"

"You're not helping."

"I see your house now. Almost there. I'm going to hang up. Look for me."

Abruptly the call ended.

And just like that, her hands started shaking again. Even though she knew better, she stared at the phone's screen. Watched each minute pass. Took long, slow breaths and tried not to panic.

Chance sat down beside her chair, and she ran a hand along his soft fur. "We've almost made it."

When she heard a loud noise outside near her yard, she feared she'd been wrong.