Chapter 13

Seth had walked almost a mile toward his house before he needed to sit down and pull himself together. He'd left Tabitha completely alone and essentially isolated.

He hadn't wanted to do that, but she'd given him no choice. His hands were tied. He hadn't wanted to abide by her wishes because he thought she was wrong. On the other hand, he also didn't want to be yet another person who ignored them. So he'd done what she asked. He'd begun to earn her trust, and that was almost as important to him as her safety.

But now, halfway between her house and his, Seth was regretting that decision. Tabitha's ex-husband could show up and do pretty much anything he wanted to her without a single person being the wiser. Until it was too late. Just like he'd done when she'd been his wife.

That didn't sit well with Seth. He'd learned a lot from the other inmates in prison. Some things they'd told him, about stealing cars or drug use, he could have done without. But there were other things the guys mentioned in passing that had stuck with him.

And that had been about security systems and cameras. He'd been in minimum security, so there was a good possibility that other men's and women's viewpoints differed, but just about every one of those men had shared that they would've never broken into a house that was obviously secured and had cameras. There were simply too many homes that didn't have anything.

The same stories had circulated about cars the guys had stolen. To his surprise, Seth had learned that lots of guys never broke into a vehicle. All they did was try the door handles until one was unlocked. Some of the cars even had keys under the mat. In the guys' minds, if a driver left a car unlocked with the keys inside it in a public parking lot, it was practically an invitation for someone to take it off their hands.

Tabitha needed a security system. Not to safeguard her valuables but to safeguard her. She was by far the most valuable thing on her property. The only problem was that he had no idea how to get her cameras and monitoring or who would install it. He might work in construction, but no one at Porter Construction was going to look at him real kindly if he started asking questions about installing cameras in a woman's home.

He was still stewing on that when he arrived at his house—and saw Melonie sitting on his front steps. That had never happened before.

"Mel? You okay?"

She beamed at him. "I'm so glad you're finally home. I've been waiting forever. Where did you go? You don't have any grocery bags with you."

He couldn't resist teasing her. "You think the only place I go is the grocery store?"

She looked embarrassed. "Obviously, you go to work, but I knew you weren't there."

"How come?"

"I walked down to the phone shanty and called Porter's."

"I see." He sat down next to her on the steps.

Melonie continued as if they played this game all the time. "I told myself if you didn't show up within the next hour, I was going to visit Elias."

"Elias?"

"Well, yeah. I was starting to worry about you and I figured he would help me no matter what. Where were you, anyway?"

"I could tell ya, but that would mean we'd be talking about me and not the fact that you're sitting here at my house by yourself. What's wrong?"

A myriad of expressions crossed her features before she lifted her chin. "Why would you ask me that?"

"Because you don't come over here to just say hello. You barely come over at all."

She pulled in her bottom lip and bit down. "I'm sorry. I should've been checking on you more often."

"Nothing to be sorry about. There's a lot of reasons not to be here." He leaned back, trying to be more at ease than he was. But it was hard. He'd just spent the last ninety minutes doing that very same thing. He was spent. "Talk to me, Melonie," he murmured.

"Things are really messed up at home."

"I was just there. Mamm and Daed seemed the same to me. What's going on?"

"You know. Lott Hostetler."

"What's happening now? I thought he'd started coming to the house."

"He has come by again, but Mamm and Daed barely tolerate him."

"They'll figure it out." Seth figured Lott and Melanie were going to have to figure things out too.

"Maybe. Maybe not. Even when I told them that Lott's stopped going out and causing trouble, they don't seem to feel any different." She frowned. "Maybe they're just determined not to like him dating me."

If that was the case, Seth didn't blame them. But he also knew that it didn't matter what he or their parents thought. Melonie's feelings were what was important. "Let's start with what really matters. What do you think of him?"

"Sometimes I feel like I'm about to fall in love with him ... but other times I wonder if I only like him because he's coming around."

He had no advice to give, other than no man was ever going to be worthy of his sister. He was pretty sure she wouldn't take too kindly to him spouting that, though. "I'm sure you've had lots of boys interested in you, Mel."

"Not all that much."

"How come?" He wouldn't have pushed, but something else had to be going on. Her hands were fisted.

"You," she said at last.

"What about me?"

"You're no longer Amish. And then there's how you look." She raised her eyebrows like it might be news to him that his arms were covered in ink.

"Your beaus aren't fans of tattoos?"

She rolled her eyes. "I think it's because you look scary." She lowered her voice. "And because of what you did to Peter Miller."

Now Melonie showing up at his house made sense. She wanted him out of her life. He was messing up her chances for a good future. That knowledge rocked him, but he held firm and tried to act like she hadn't just cut him deeply. "Ah."

"I'm sorry for bringing that up, Seth."

He studied her face. Melonie did look embarrassed. "Nothing to be sorry about." A good apology did mean something from time to time, but there was no reason for her to apologize for reminding him about his past. It wasn't like he ever forgot it anyway. "There's nothing I can do about Peter, though. We can't change the past."

"I know." She sounded miserable.

Seth didn't believe in defending himself. If he could live his life over, he would've done things differently. When he'd realized Peter had been assaulting Bethanne, he still would have stopped him, but he would've also called out for help. Maybe that would've changed things. Even better, he would've concentrated more on helping Bethanne once she'd gotten away from Peter. He should've looked after her instead of continuing to fight with Peter. That probably wouldn't have been possible, but he tried to believe it was.

Still, no matter how many times he'd prayed for it to happen, he'd never been able to go back in time. The Lord knew what He was doing too, because living with his regrets had made Seth stronger. And maybe better. This was going to break his heart, but ruining Melonie's chances for a happy life would break it even more. "All right. I'll try to keep some distance from you."

Melonie got to her feet. "Seth, nee! That isn't what I came over here to talk about."

He didn't stand up. Instead, he took a long look. Really saw her. Noticed the way her dark purple dress brought out the blue in her eyes. How she lifted her chin when she was determined to prove a point. How she looked at him intently when he talked, like she wanted to soak in every word.

Melonie was precious to him. It was time to give himself a reality check. And maybe her too. "No need to get riled up, girl. I've had a lot of time to come to terms with the consequences of my actions." He frowned, realizing he sounded a whole lot like one of those do-gooder counselors back in prison. "I mean, I get what you're saying and I understand."

"You don't get anything, you ... you big loon."

He raised his eyebrows. "Are you calling me names now, Melonie?"

"Oh, stop. You know what I mean." She frowned. "Don't you?"

No. No, he did not. All he did know was that he was starving and mentally exhausted from difficult conversations with two different women in his life. He stood up. "Mel, I need some sustenance. Come on in the house and have a sandwich with me."

"You want to eat right now?"

"Obviously." He pulled the key from his pocket and unlocked the front door. "I'm starving."

"You know, there's no need to lock your door, Seth. This is Crittenden County, not St. Louis or Louisville."

"I happen to know that bad things can happen here too. Come on."

He left the door ajar and walked into his small one-bedroom house. It was warm thanks to the gas furnace, and that pleased him. As did the overhead lights he turned on. He might not have a big need for games on his phone or the latest TV series streaming, but he did like having light whenever he wanted it.

"Your haus is so bright," she said.

"I know."

"I don't know how you got used to that."

"It happened in prison. The lights are never completely off there at night, and in the morning they're almost blinding." He shrugged. "I got used to it."

"You never talk about prison."

"Not to you, I don't."

"What about to Mamm or Daed?"

He almost laughed. "You know I barely speak to them, Mel. No way am I going to start chatting with them about my life as a prison inmate."

"Do you want to tell me about your life there? I'd be happy to listen."

"Thank you, but I don't think that's a good idea." After walking into his tidy but basic kitchen, he pulled out some bread, peanut butter, and a jar of Tabitha's strawberry jam. "Want a sandwich?"

"A peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Nee."

"Open that cabinet and get out some chips for me."

She reached in and grabbed a bag of potato chips. "Here you go."

"Care for milk?"

"I'm not a child anymore. I don't want a glass of milk."

"Fine." But he saw her eyes tracking the sandwich he was making.

"Um, maybe I'll have a sandwich too, after all. If you don't mind."

"I don't mind." He waved a hand toward the pair of doors down the small hallway. "Bathroom's down there if you want to wash up."

"Danke."

When she disappeared from view, he breathed a sigh of relief. He needed a moment to try to figure out what to say to her. And to prepare himself for what she'd come to tell him.

Then he remembered the Scripture verse from Proverbs: Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. He figured the good Lord had a point there.

"Seth, your bathroom is so pretty," Melonie said when she returned to the kitchen.

He laughed as he carried their plates to the table. "I don't think bathrooms can be called that."

"I think they can. I like all the tile."

Two of the walls in the small bathroom were covered floor to ceiling with tiles in various shades of blue. "Thanks. A guy I met in prison learned to tile there. He gave me a deal."

She got the milk out of the refrigerator and poured two glasses. "Have Mamm and Daed seen your haus?"

"You know they haven't."

"Maybe they should," she said as she sat down.

"Let us give thanks." He bowed his head and silently prayed while she did the same. Then he asked, "So what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Do you think I like Lott so much because he's here?"

"Like, he's the best choice because you don't have a lot of other men to choose from?"

"Jah."

Chewing, he thought about that. "I'm not sure."

"That's unhelpful."

"I reckon so, but it's the truth. I haven't seen the two of you together, and I don't know what's in your heart. But I feel like I should remind you that you're still young, Mel. There's no hurry, is there?"

"I don't know."

"Mel, you're only seventeen. Trust me. There's no hurry. You don't need to rush into any relationship."

"So I should take my time with Lott?"

He nodded. "Talk to him. Ask him questions. Let him ask you things and see what he thinks about your answers. Pray about it. Talk to God about what you want." Seth felt like rolling his eyes. As far as he was concerned, he was the last person in Crittenden County who should be giving relationship advice.

"What should I do about Mamm and Daed?"

This was trickier. "Our parents are good people. They love you."

"And ..."

"And I know you want to respect their wishes, but they're not always right." Then he thought of Tabitha and how scared she was of Leon. "And ... they can't live your life with you. Only you will do that."

Melonie stared at him for a long moment. She took another bite of her sandwich and washed it down with a sip of milk, then finally spoke. "I like that idea."

"Good."

She held his gaze. "I want to come over more, Seth. I like it here. I like you here."

He chuckled. "Do you think I'm different here?"

"Jah. You're more relaxed. More like the Seth I remember."

"Then you better come back all the time," he teased.

She smiled. "Maybe I will."