1. Callum

1

CALLUM

W hoever said alcohol is no way to solve your problems was a complete and utter moron. From where I was dancing in the living room with a sexy brunette plastered to my chest, it seemed like the perfect fucking solution to me. My problems always tended to get worse around this time of year, and consequently so did my alcohol intake.

If there was a way to erase this day off the calendar, I'd sell my soul to make it happen. Short of making a deal with the devil himself, there was no easy way to get through this day without numbing the barrage of pain and emotion that reappeared each year like clockwork. Currently, I was working on two ways to go about that: vodka and Molly.

The chick, not the drug. Though I wouldn't kick the drug out of bed either.

I felt her hands run down my chest and skirt across my abs, her long nails scoring my skin gently and making my cock jump. I was fairly trashed and having concerns about rising to the occasion, but that little twitch gave me hope. My head was hazy and unfocused as she ground her body into mine, the music pumping through the speakers drowning out the memories that tried pushing to the surface.

“Mmm, I love how your body feels, Hawk,” she slurred, her cloying perfume swirling around us .

The nickname clawed at my brain, both calming and depressing me equally. Especially on this day, it was a comfort to just be Hawkins or Hawk, the hotshot Lacrosse captain. The persona I had painstakingly cultivated over the last couple of years was an armor keeping everyone on the outside where I liked them. They never got too close to see behind it, to see the real me. Only one person had ever truly known me and she never called me Hawk.

I shook my head to clear it of the intrusive thoughts, refocusing my attention on the sweet curves in front of me. The booze I downed earlier was doing its part to keep me offline, and rather than sinking into painful memories, I would sink into Molly instead.

I nibbled her ear a bit and brushed my hands against her tits spilling from the tight top she wore. “Would you like to get a closer look at it?” I rasped, the scent and feel of her making my dick jump a little more.

She whimpered and pressed herself to my chest even closer, fingers digging into my back desperately. “God yes, Hawk…”

Without another word, I grabbed her hand and started weaving through the sweaty bodies in the room. I couldn't go more than a couple of feet without someone calling my name, patting me on the shoulder, or asking me to do shots with them. It was all part of being a UT athlete. The gridiron boys definitely got the most attention, but as long as you were tearing up a field or a court, you were considered campus royalty.

The second we both reached the bottom of the stairs, a strong hand grasped my arm and yanked me to a stop.

“The fuck?!” I growled, preparing to throw down with some drunken fratboy who thought I slept with his girlfriend or some shit.

Unfortunately, there was precedence…not an experience I'm eager to relive.

“Dude! I've been looking for you everywhere!” Griffin shouted triumphantly. Beer sloshed over the sides of his cup and I guessed he was three sheets to the wind already. I should have known he would be the one to cockblock me right now.

Griffin was my roommate and teammate, which meant that he was always around even when I didn't necessarily want him to be. Don't get me wrong, he was awesome and all, but I was a person who needed my space from time to time. Griffin didn't always understand this. Or perhaps he did and just didn't give a shit .

“What's up, Griff? I'm kinda in the middle of something,” I grumbled impatiently.

As if the cosmic forces heard me and decided to cruelly fuck with my plans, Molly was ripped away from my arm by a laughing blond who pulled her back to the dance floor and into a crowd of sorority chicks.

Gee, thanks Universe, you fucking asshole. I was planning on tapping that.

My mood plummeted instantly as part two of my emotional escape plan was torn away from me, even if only temporarily. I wasn't one who gave up easily, and I was determined to find a warm, willing body to fuck away all my troubles with by the end of the night.

At this point, I'd even cast my net a little wider and entertain some dick tonight. It wasn't always my preference, but I was what you'd call a “free range lover”. It didn't matter the outside package you came with, any mouth or hole would keep me happy. In my experience, the few guys I had been with gave the best blowjobs. I guess if you've got the equipment, you know how to handle it.

I didn't think a blowjob would be enough to keep my brain from straying to unpleasant areas though. I hadn't hit a homerun with a dude yet, so I'd stick with finding someone of the female persuasion to help me forget this miserable day.

“Well, looks like you're free now,” Griff smirked. “Come on, some of the guys want to play strip poker and sent me to find you. You've got to see some of these girls playing! We're talking asses and racks for days!”

He dragged me through the crowd over to the poker table that was set up in a far corner, half of the players were my teammates and the other half…let's just say Griff hadn't been lying about the ass and tits display.

It seemed like there wouldn't be much of a game to play with the ladies seeing as how they were already a piece or two of clothing away from being so naked I could see their kidneys, but I was as eager as the next guy. I sat down and was dealt a hand and a shot of inhibition killer. I drained the shotglass as a sinful body dropped onto my lap and draped an arm around my shoulder.

“Hey Hawk, I didn't know you'd be here tonight,” the girl purred seductively in my ear. It took me a few seconds to get my bearings, but I recognized her as someone I had hooked up with before. I didn't know if it was the vodka or the fact that her face blended together with all the other chicks in my head, but I could not remember her name if it was tattooed on my arm.

“Well, you know I can't miss out on a chance to run into a gorgeous thing like you,” I flirted. Not my best line, but girls eat that shit up . Just watch .

She giggled, running her finger lasciviously down the center of my chest. “That's so sweet! I didn't think you'd remember me from that night…want me to remind you how good it was?” She lifted one of her perfect eyebrows up in question.

Aaaand bingo. Called it.

Usually, I would have taken the time to tease and flirt, drawing her in with the infamous charm I'd built up over the years. Tonight, that wouldn't cut it. I didn't have the bandwidth to turn it on for her. I just needed her mouth and her body to pull me out of my head.

I gripped her face in one hand, and took her lips in a hard kiss. My tongue slipped in with zero resistance, and she moaned into my mouth. Before I could sink into the sensations, something small and hard popped me in the head. I startled out of the kiss, noticing a beer bottle cap on my lap that seemed to be the culprit.

“Hey! Stop sucking face over there! We've got a game to play!” Griffin yelled over the din of the party.

Letting out an irritated growl, I adjusted the chick on my lap and picked up the cards I had been dealt. Shots were passed around, and I was relieved that at least part one of my plan was still possible. The game progressed rather quickly with three of the four girls getting stripped down to their underwear in record time, and two of my teammates ending up in their boxers before the end. In a few rounds, I had only managed to lose my shirt, but the cutie still perched on my leg hadn't minded that loss at all.

Her hands continually ran over my chest and toyed with the hair at the back of my neck. The feel of her hands and the distraction of the game had me in a fuzzy bubble that the bad memories couldn't penetrate. I knew from experience that wouldn't last long, so I needed to move to phase two of my plan fast.

I kissed and nipped at her neck, my hand sweeping down to fondle her toned ass. “How 'bout I take you upstairs and you give me that reminder now?” I rumbled in her ear. She let out a high pitched whine and writhed on my lap a bit, brushing against the semi in my jeans .

“That's the best idea I've heard all night,” she said, kissing me quickly before hopping off my leg. She wobbled a bit on her feet, a testament to how many shots she'd been throwing back with me. I threw my shirt back on and grabbed her hand.

This time, I didn't stop for anybody while I steered us toward the stairs. Somewhere in the back of my head, I scrambled to remember her name, but the Tito's swimming in my veins made that task damn near impossible.

I staggered up to the top floor with her, her light laughter ringing in my ears as I pressed her against a wall and ground my hips against hers. I absently noticed the lack of people around us, and sent up a silent thank you to the hookup gods. I couldn't focus on much else except our moans and sloppy kisses as we carved a drunken path to the nearest bedroom.

I managed to get the door open and we practically fell through the threshold into the dark room.

“Hey! Do you mind?” An angry voice rang out from the shadows.

Oh fuck. Did I stumble into a good time already in progress? Maybe they'd be down for a couple extra?…Couldn't hurt to ask.

“My bad. This room taken?” I slurred, trying to focus enough to see who the voice came from as the girl sucked at my neck. She was either too drunk to notice we had company, or was giving no fucks tonight. Well, except the one she'd give to me soon.

“That's usually what it means when someone is in a room. But by all means, continue your little drunken hoedown. I hear Chlamydia is very in this year.”

The sarcastic shit in the shadows finally came into sharper focus as my eyes adjusted. The girl finally pulled back and figured out we weren't alone.

“Excuse you, why don't you take your judgment and shove it? No one asked you,” she snipped, hanging around my neck and subtly rubbing her body against me.

The guy was a scrawny thing, about my height with mousy brown hair and big, doe eyes. He looked like a twink, but not the hot kind. The details I could make out in the moonlight from the window suggested he was just north of being plain, and his face was scrunched into a disapproving scowl.

Oh well. He could fuck right off with that attitude .

“Just like you didn't ask to enter the room before barging in here? I'll take 'life's unfair' for 500, Alex,” the dude grumbled, shifting on the spot and crossing his arms over his slender chest.

I rolled my eyes at the nerve of this kid, detaching the girl from my side. “Look man, we didn't know this was your room. We're just looking to hookup. I mean…you could join if you want to replace that stick up your ass for something better,” I snickered. The chick laughed obnoxiously like what I said was somehow hysterical.

“Uh, no fucking way am I letting him near me! Besides, he doesn't look like he's packing much…makes sense though. Big attitude, little dick,” She sneered, the slur in her voice making it almost hard to understand her. Even in the faint light I could see the red creep up on the guy's face.

Good. Maybe he'd get so embarrassed he'd scamper off and I could finally get on with the distraction I was so desperate for.

“Look, this is my lab partner's room. He told me to wait in here for him, so I'm not leaving. Last time I checked, there was more than one bedroom in a frat house, so…shoo and find somewhere else to screw.” He tried sounding strong, but there was no mistaking the slight waver in his voice as he told us off.

The B-list twink was starting to irritate the fuck out of me. The erection that had been coaxed up by the girl's wandering hands and eager kisses had all but deflated. As had my patience.

“Well I hope your…lab partner is able to fuck some of that sass out of you. You're so uptight though he might not be able to make it too far. I suggest lots of lube,” I taunted. He flushed even deeper and the near imperceptible growl he let out had a wide smirk crossing my face. I knew I was being a dick, but I couldn't resist fucking with him since he was essentially cockblock number three of the evening. The nameless chick was full-on cackling at this point.

The guy scoffed, shaking his head like he was over the entire conversation. Yep. That makes two of us, jackass.

“ Maybe you should find a better way to work through your mommy issues than banging drunk girls in frat houses,” the twink retorted.

Something in me snapped and I crossed the room to him in two strides, coming within inches of his face. “If you don't want the next thing to come out of your mouth to be a few teeth, then I'd suggest you shut it, fucker,” I growled menacingly .

To his credit, he seemed stone-faced at my sudden fury, but I saw the tiniest flash of fear cross his features. He was right to be scared. He was on the landmine of my temper, so he needed to tread very carefully.

“Wow…and violent to boot. I bet your mom is just so proud. One day she can hang your mug shot next to your kindergarten handprint on the fridge.”

My hand shot out to grab his throat, shoving him backward until he hit the wall with a thud. The impact knocked the wind out of him and his eyes shot wide. My face was centimeters from his, and at this distance I could see his irises were almost…purple?

My anger overtook my momentary lapse in focus over his bizarre eyes, and I tightened my grip just enough to feel his wild pulse thump under my fingers.

“Get your hands off me,” he demanded, the fear in his voice unmistakable. He clawed at the grip I had on his neck, and I pinned one of his hands to the wall next to his head. It might have been my wasted brain playing tricks on me, but I thought I heard his breath catch and saw his pupils dilate. But not from fear.

From lust.

You fucking wish, kid. I'd sooner stick my dick in a light socket than into any hole of yours.

“Now I've had a lot to drink so I can't be sure, but I think I warned you to shut your damn mouth. You've already fucked with my plans so far, and now you're pissing me off. You want to try for a third strike? I guarantee you won't fucking like it,” I warned, squeezing just a little more against his throat and relishing the way his eyes somehow got even wider.

Fortunately for him, he didn't say another word. He just shook his head from side to side as much as he could with my hands still holding him to the wall. I took another second to hold his gaze with mine, pushing through the urge to smash my fist into his infuriating face.

But that wasn't me. I had to get a handle on this rage pumping through my veins at his words and the memories that were now fighting to break through.

I needed to get the hell out of there before everything I had been pushing down came racing back up and I couldn't control it.

I released him and he nearly crumbled to the floor, coughing roughly before he looked back up at me with pure disdain dripping from his icy glare.

“Get the fuck out of here. Your lab partner's obviously not coming, and I've got plans to get back to,” I droned in a bored tone. My temper was back under lock and key, as were all those goddamn emotions I hated, and I was officially done messing with this freak.

“Hawwwwk…forget the nerd and come play with me,” an intoxicated feminine voice whined.

The guy threw a slightly concerned look back at the girl who was sitting on the edge of the bed, legs swinging as she leaned back as if she was enjoying the show. She grabbed the edge of her shirt and yanked it messily over her head, clearly thinking it was sexier than it was. She threw it at my face and giggled when it hit me before I could grab it. The booze haze that had cleared slightly from my outburst hit me again, making my reflexes embarrassingly slow.

“So you staying for the show or getting out of my sight?” I grumbled at the twink, arching my eyebrow at him.

His lip twitched up in a disgusted sneer before opening the door and scurrying out into the hall. When his footsteps faded into the noise of the party, I turned back to the chick with a resigned sigh.

No matter how fucking blasted I was, I knew better than to screw someone who could barely walk a straight line. Not only was that shit messed up since it completely erased consent for both parties, but it usually entailed messy, awkward sex because they were too sloshed to get it right. I also was no longer in the mood for sex since my dick long since checked out of this shitshow.

I was annoyed, exhausted, and fucking done.

“I'm sorry, but we'll have to do this some other time. I'm not feeling too hot,” I rasped, tossing the shirt back to her.

She blinked unsteadily at me, a pout forming on her face at my rejection. “Are you serious? What the hell, Hawk?”

“It's not you, I promise. I just need to go crash and sleep this off. Do you have a ride home, or can I call you an Uber?” I asked. Contrary to what dipshit thought earlier, my mother raised me right. For the most part, I lived up to that.

“No, I'm good. I'm gonna go find my friends and actually have fun,” she bit out. She waltzed out of the room, tipsy and topless, and I somehow felt like that was a bullet dodged.

Now, I was only interested in getting back to my apartment, drowning my liver a little more, and then passing out to escape this godforsaken day. Luckily, I was too tired for my thoughts to stray into dangerous waters.

When I was splayed across my bed later, my brain swirled with images of a laughing woman, an empty mattress, a dark closet, and vivid purple eyes.