3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

Blue

I should just knock on this flipping door. Pink is nice. I'm not scared of Pink. There is no need to be nervous.

Maybe I should go to my soundproof room and sing for a bit? That always makes me feel better. I could do that and then come back.

Pink's bedroom door opens, and he startles when he sees me. But his look of surprise quickly morphs into recognition and warmth.

"Oh hi, Blue, did you want to come in?" he asks.

His brown eyes are calm. Bright. There is life in them and it is an amazing thing to see. Back in the harem, his eyes had been dull and lifeless. Filled with nothing but despondency. He had given up.

Now look at him. I'm so proud of him. And it has to mean there is hope for us all.

I nod and then remember I'm no longer masked. "Yes, please."

"Great, I was just getting a cup of tea." He steps to the side and opens his door wide. "Come in, make yourself comfy. I'll be back in a minute. Did you want tea?"

"Yes, please," I say again, as if these are the only two words I know .

"Milk and two sugars?" Pink asks.

I nod. Pink has got pretty much everyone hooked on tea. He may be a magic holder, but he is still very much an English human, and apparently his habits are contagious.

He smiles and walks down the hallway. After he has gone, I step uneasily into his bedroom. The curtains are drawn and his room is lit softly with a lamp and a string of fairy-lights along one wall. Instrumental jazz music is playing quietly from a smart speaker. An open book is spread face down on the unmade bed.

Looks like I've disturbed him in the midst of reading. I hope he isn't too annoyed with me. But he did invite me in. There is a comfy armchair by the bed, so I take a seat and settle down to wait.

Oh crap! I'm naked. I forgot about clothes. Again. Should I borrow something of Pink's? Or has he been around paranormals enough that he has lost his human weirdness about nudity? Or did being a sex slave in a harem burn his natural feelings away?

I force down a swallow over my suddenly tight throat. Shit. Now I feel shitty and I can't exactly start rummaging in Pink's closet and help myself.

Just as I'm wondering what to do, Pink reappears with two cups of tea in his hands. Complete with saucers. He also has a packet of cookies tucked under his elbow.

"Do you want me to put some clothes on?" I ask sheepishly.

"Nah, you're good," says Pink as he hands me a cup of tea.

He places his cup and the cookies on the bedside table and then gets all comfy in his bed. He picks up his tea, takes a sip and sighs happily.

"So what's up?" he asks.

My stomach heaves, and my teacup starts to rattle against the saucer. It feels as if saying the words out loud will somehow make everything more real. But it is the whole reason why I'm here, disturbing Pink's peace.

"I think I may have accidentally mated with Sammy," I blurt out far too fast.

Pink splutters on his tea. "I beg your pardon?"

I know he heard me, he just needs a moment to process. So I stay quiet and give him time.

"What happened?" he asks .

I take a deep breath. "He jumped into the pool but he can't swim. He was drowning. I brought him to the surface and over to the edge. It's not the sea, so I'm not sure if it counts. But I think it might."

Pink's eyes grow enormous as I speak. I watch his face intently as everything I just said sinks in. Pink is clever and very well educated in all manner of things. He probably knows more about mating lore than I do.

"He doesn't know." Pink states.

I blink at him.

"Sammy told me about jumping into your pool. He said you became upset and swam away, and he was worried he had annoyed you."

An unpleasant feeling twists in my stomach. I was upset, but not at Sammy. It was a stupid accident and I hate the thought that I've worried him.

"He still has no idea?" asks Pink.

I shake my head. "None."

Pink lets out a low whistle and collapses back against his pillows. He doesn't look as if he is going to say anything.

"Do you think it counts? Are we mated?" I prompt.

He sighs. "I'm sorry, Blue, I don't know that much about siren mating magic." Suddenly, his eyes widen and he sits up straight. "Though Gray was staring very intently at Sammy this morning, maybe he saw a bond or something."

Oh crap. That doesn't sound good at all. And I had completely forgotten about Mal and Gray. If I have mated Sammy, I've gone and bound myself to their son. Without their permission.

Fuck! This is terrible. Things are still uneasy between Gray and me after our fight. Now this? What a flipping mess.

"Can it be undone?" I ask.

Pink blinks at me and then shrugs. "I don't know. Lello's bond with Ritchie was near impossible to break, but he is a kelpie. Perhaps one of the others… "

"No!" I interrupt harshly. "No one else can know!"

"Okay," says Pink slowly as doubt and confusion swirl over his face.

"Please Pink, promise me? I'm going to figure this out and fix it, but in the meantime, no one can know."

He stares at me for a long time with an intense, searching look that seems to burrow into my soul.

"Okay," he agrees eventually.

I sigh in relief and take a shaky sip of my tea. I need to figure this out. And the obvious next step is something I really don't want to do.

I should talk to Gray.

M y heart is beating so fast it can't be healthy. Maybe I'll have a heart attack and drop down dead and that will solve all my problems.

I shake my head to clear it of my dark thoughts. Wallowing in self-pity will not help the situation. I need to breathe and get on with it.

One deep inhale through my nose. One deep exhale. Great, now I'm standing outside the house, near the door to Gray and Mal's basement, while breathing heavily. At least I've remembered to put on a pair of shorts.

It's just after dawn, but Gray loves to watch the sunrise, so I'm pretty sure they will be awake. I hope they are not having sex. My nose wrinkles and stomach heaves.

Cautiously, I tiptoe closer. No sounds or scents of sex. That's a relief.

Gathering all of my courage, I stride across the remaining bit of ground and knock on the door. My hand clenches tightly around my favorite pebble and it is pathetic how much comfort it gives me .

The door swings open and Mal glares at me. My gaze roams all over his intricate tattoos before I realize it probably looks like I'm ogling him.

I cough. "Can I speak to Gray?"

No sooner have I spoken the words than Gray appears by Mal's side. I'm the only one wearing any clothes and now I feel like an idiot.

Gray and Mal stare at me expectantly. I clear my throat again.

"I…um…Sammy fell into my pool and I saved him, and I think I accidentally mated him."

Mal's eyes grow wide, and then he laughs, a rich deep laugh. Gray just stares at me. I look back at him. Despite everything, it's wonderful to see sentience in his dark eyes. He was out of it in the harem. Tied to a bed and capable only of screaming.

"I was wondering if…um…you could tell if there is a bond?" I ask the demon.

Gray nods solemnly.

My mouth goes dry. My heart stops beating and my lungs seize up. Oh crap. Oh no. This is awful. So very awful.

Mal is still laughing. As if this is the funniest thing he has ever heard. Good for him.

"Do you know how to undo it?" I plead.

Gray tilts his head to the side and then shakes it. I shiver. It is exactly what I was expecting, but having it confirmed is turning my blood into ice.

My hand reaches out, and I thrust my favorite pebble at Gray.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't ask your permission to claim your son. I'm not sure what the correct protocol is for cases like this, but…I'm sorry."

Gray graciously accepts the pebble. Mal stops laughing. My heart feels a little lighter. They've taken my offering and they don't seem furious at me.

"I will fix this," I whisper. "Please don't tell him. "

Mal wraps his arm around Gray's shoulder. The little demon gives me a solemn nod. I nod back and then turn away without another word, because really, what else is there to say? I don't think all the apologies in the world will cut it. Actions are better than words. The only thing I can do to make amends is fix this.

There is no other option. I can't take a mate. Me? It's ridiculous. I was the baby of the harem. The pathetic one. The scared one. The one they all had to protect.

The idea of me being a protector is ridiculous. Absurd. Unthinkable. I can't keep anyone safe. I can't be a rock or an anchor. I'm a broken mess. Feeble and worthless.

And I'm terrified of sex.

I'm not fit to be anyone's mate.

So I need to undo this. Anyway I can.