28. Chapter 28

Chapter twenty-eight

Sammy

A firm knock on my door startles me from mindlessly scrolling TikTok. My heart flutters. Is that Blue?

I fly out of bed and fling my door open. Mal blinks at me. Hand frozen mid-air as if he was about to knock again or he hadn't even finished his first knock when I opened the door. My shoulders slump.

"Hi," I mutter as I trudge back to my bed.

Mal steps into my room and gently shuts the door. He has a strange expression on his face. I don't like it. It's making the hairs on the back of my neck prickle.

"What?" I ask uneasily.

He takes a deep breath. "Blue has gone."

"Gone where?"

"Back to the ocean."

My heart thumps once. Loud and heavy. Then it stops.

"He can't. The other sirens will eat him." My voice shakes.

Mal's dark eyes fill with surprise. "He didn't tell you? Gray gave him a talisman."

I don't know what the fuck a talisman is, but I get the idea. It's some magical thing that means Blue can go home. That little fucking shithead of a twink demon is fucking with my life.

And Blue didn't tell me. He never breathed a word. Even though he must have been so very excited. He had to have been bouncing with joy. But he didn't want to share his wonderful news with me .

I squeeze my eyes shut and try to remember how to breathe. I don't think my heart has restarted yet. Maybe it never will.

"He sent an email to Red. There is a message for you. Do you want me to read it?"

My heart springs back to life. Frantic and fast enough to make me shake. He left me a message? Why didn't he send it to me? Oh yeah. I don't have an email and he knows I can barely read.

I sit up and nod.

Mal clears his throat. "I'm going home to the ocean. Sammy, I'm sorry I hurt you. I will love you forever. I will never forget you. I'm so sorry things didn't work out between us."

It's not the most poetic note, but I don't care. Besides, it could have been written in simple words so that I have a chance of reading it myself.

I pick up my phone. Mal understands my intent and turns the screen of his phone to face me. I take a picture and flop back down. My fingers hover over the words. I don't know if I'm reading them or if I've already memorized them. They do feel as if they are etched onto my heart. Maybe not the exact wording Blue has used, but definitely the meaning.

Blue is sorry.

Blue loves me.

Blue is gone forever.

I rub at my chest. It feels like I can't breathe. It feels darker and colder in my room now, even though I know that can't be true.

"Did he definitely make it to the ocean?" I gasp as the thought hits me and propels me into sitting upright again.

The boys are supposed to be staying in the house for their own safety because some creep is trying to start his own collection of beautiful sex slaves.

Mal nods. "There is a tracker in the car. It's pinging from a car park right next to the coast. I'm going to grab Brodie and head down there to check Blue made it those few hundred feet. And to get the car. "

"I'll come!" I say suddenly. "I can drive the car back."

Mal raises an eyebrow and gives me a skeptical look. He knows how shit my driving is and that I don't have a license.

"Come on, it's a Sunday. There won't be much traffic and it's a straight road all the way."

If Blue has gone to the nearest coast, which presumably he has because there is no earthly reason to go anywhere else.

"Then Brodie can stay with Red," I add.

Let the loving couple stay together. I'm sure they'd both prefer that. They have to be freaked out by the idea of Red being kidnapped into sex slavery again. Red needs the comfort Brodie can give, and Brodie needs to feel assured that Red is safe.

There is no one who will miss me if I'm gone. And yes, I'm being a whiny bitch. But I think I'm entitled to feel sorry for myself.

Mal sighs. "Fine."

I'm already dressed, so it's a simple matter of following Mal out to his car. I hop in and buckle up, and we drive off.

I don't even know why I am going. Closure or something? Though just what a deserted car is going to tell me, I have no idea. It's not going to be proof of anything. Because it's not even like it's Blue's personal car, his baby that he would never leave. No, Blue is very good at leaving things behind.

But he is sorry.

He loves me.

He is going to miss me forever.

I sigh and stare blankly at the scenery as it whizzes past my window. If only we had talked instead of being idiots. Sounds like we could have sorted things out. I mean, if he loves me and I love him, surely everything else is purely semantics? Meaningless, picky details. We could have worked it out.

But he's gone and left. And strangely, I'm not even mad about it. Just sad. I saw how terrified he was at the thought of being caught again. It's understandable that he needs to be where he feels safe. And I am so very glad he is safe. And home. I just wish I was with him. Or that he knew there was a reason for him to stay.

A sharp pain lances through me, and I wince. What were my last words to him? Get the fuck out and never come back? It was something like that. Ouch. I hope he knows I was angry, and that's not how I feel about him.

Mal turns into a half empty parking lot. The smell of salt water hits me. We are here already? Wow. Time flies when you are brooding.

One of the shared cars is tucked into the corner of the lot. It looks lonely. I get out of Mal's car and stand up. A blast of fresh air hits me. I can see the sea now. It's gray like the sky. I think a storm is brewing. But it could simply be my mood.

I walk with Mal over to the other car. It looks fine. Mal tries the door. It's unlocked. The keys are in the glove compartment.

I turn and look at the sea. It's a few hundred feet away. Blue has to have made it. I look at Mal. His eyes unfocus. A strange prickling sensation itches along my skin. He is using magic. I wait with bated breath. A few minutes later, Mal blinks and his eyes refocus. He nods at me.

Blue is safe. He made it home.

A whole storm of emotions washes through me. I cannot even begin to untangle them all.

"Can we stay for a bit?" I ask.

Mal's dark eyes fill with pity. "Sure thing kid, let me know when you are ready."

I guess he doesn't need to wait for me. He could drive off and I could follow after. Whenever I feel like it. But I like that he is going to wait for me. It would feel unbearably lonely if he left me behind.

"Thanks," I say.

He nods and gets back in his car. The radio switches on.

I wrap my arms around myself and head towards the pier. It's a nice pier. Old and sedate. Regal and worn around the edges. Two miles down the beach and around the headland, is a newer and much fancier one with rides and lights. Fish and chips and souvenirs. This one only has a tea shop that is full of little old ladies. It's nice and peaceful.

I walk all the way to the end. The wind is blowing right through my hoodie, but I don't care. It's beautiful here. I've always loved the sea. It's almost fitting that I fell in love with a siren.

I sit down at the edge of the pier. Nothing but waves all the way out to the horizon. Blue is out there somewhere. Twirling and twisting under the water. Befriending fishes.

I'll miss you forever, he said.

And I will miss him for eternity. My life is going to be hollow and empty without him.

A flash of something just under the surface catches my eye. It looks like a gleam of pale skin. An echo of something tugs at my mind. Almost like a remnant of the mate bond. It feels like Blue's presence. It feels like he is close by.

My heart is fluttering frantically. Could it be true?

I press myself against the railings.

"Blue!" I call out, but the wind steals my voice away.

I watch and wait. But there is nothing but waves. Yet I swear he is here. Just out of reach. Lingering for a moment before he swims away forever and I'll never see him again.

I love you.

I'm sorry I hurt you.

I'm so very sorry things didn't work out between us.

But what if they did work out? What if we talked? He loves me and I love him. I can't lose him and regret it forever.

I scramble over the railings.

Blue will save me.

But what if I'm only imagining that he is close by? My heart thumps. I don't care. Blue is the only light in my life. Without him there is no point in anything. Besides, Mal will probably notice in time and pull me out. It's worth the risk.

Love is always worth the risk.

I take a deep breath. I jump. And I fall.