15. Chapter 15

Chapter fifteen

Blue

S ammy is so beautiful. His hair is a tangled mess against the pillow. Sweat is beading his brow. His face is flushed and his eyes sparkling. I have never seen a more divine sight.

My heart is pounding. The privilege of watching him in his most intimate moments was intense. His desire and lust is pure and sacred. Not a drop of darkness in it, just like there is none in him.

He has weathered storms, for sure. Parts of him are chipped and worn. Brittle edges. But for all the darkness that has surrounded him, none has seeped into his soul to fester. He remains a shining bright light. And I am in awe.

I wish I was like him. I wish more people were. He is beyond precious and it is sad to think he does not know this. If only I could show him. Let him see himself the way that I do.

"You good?" he asks, still breathless from his orgasm.

I nod and smile. I'm very good. Not only is Sammy wonderful, I'm also delighted to discover that there are ways I can still enjoy intimacy. My opinion on being touched hasn't changed. But watching Sammy pleasure himself was deeply enjoyable.

I suppose some of what I'm feeling could be the mate bond's influence. Emotions leaking from Sammy and the bond's own insistence. But I don't think it matters. I'm feeling what I am feeling. Tracing a sea back to its rivers and then its tributaries is pointless. Feelings are feelings, wherever they come from .

And right now, all I want to do is continue to drink in the sight of Sammy. He looks so gorgeous. He should be spread out on a moonlit beach with the waves beating an accompaniment.

Then I could share my power with him. He could breathe while I took him deep under the waves and showed him the reefs and all the secret places of the ocean.

His eyes would light up with joy, and he would beam with excitement.

"I wish I could show you the ocean," I say suddenly.

Sammy gives me a smile and only looks a little surprised at my sudden outburst.

"I'd love that."

I smile back.

"Do you miss it?" he asks softly.

His hand reaches for me and then stops. I adore that he understands and respects my difficulty with touch. But I wish I wasn't like this. I wish I could let Sammy touch me. Almost as much as I wish I could show him the ocean and see my birthplace once more.

"Very much," I say wistfully.

Sammy's eyes fill with empathy. "That sucks," he says.

Something about his tone and his very modern human words makes me chuckle, even though I know he is being sincere.

He grins back at me, and just like that, my sadness evaporates. Sammy is so good for me, it's unreal.

I sigh and flop down on my back, onto the bed next to him. His breathing has settled now. He'll be getting sleepy soon, since it's pretty much the middle of the night.

Sure enough, he yawns and wriggles into what I presume is a comfier position.

"Can I stay?" I hear myself asking.

There is no need to. He is clearly fully recovered from whatever the attempt at breaking the bond did to him. But the thought of leaving and going to my own empty bed, is making my chest ache .

"I'd like that," grins Sammy sleepily as his eyes flutter closed.

I watch him fall asleep. And then I watch him sleep. His peaceful, even breaths remind me of the waves. It's a deeply soothing sound.

I can't remember the last time I was this happy.

T his pile of books looks very daunting. I still can't wrap my head around how Pink's mage managed to steal them all from the Old Blood library. I have to assume magic was involved and leave it at that. It's not like I'm going to see the man and be able to ask him.

Pink's mage is very elusive. He has been living in his campervan in the bottom of the garden for months now, but I've only glimpsed him once or twice.

Pink says he is extremely shy and very fixated on his alchemy studies. It's still a bit odd that we never see him. But then again, the original deal was that he was unobtrusive. The idea was that Pink would pop into the campervan when his magic needed emptying, and that would be that.

The fact I've seen Pink sneaking down to the bottom of the garden, far more than he needs to, makes me smile. His secret is safe with me.

Just like the secret of how to undo a mate bond is safely locked away in these books. I sigh heavily and pick up another one.

"I'm making a cuppa. Anyone want one?" asks Pink as he gets to his feet.

Ned, Jade and I all put in our requests. Pink swoops around and gathers up the empty cups from amongst the towering piles of books strewn over the dining room table. Then he heads off to the kitchen.

Ned and Jade are deeply engrossed in their respective dusty tomes. I want to ask if they have found anything, but that would be ridiculous. It's not as if they are going to find the cure and then just continue to quietly read.

I try to look at the page in front of me, but it is just a word salad. My mind has had enough, it's refusing to digest any more information. I rub my eyes and try to gather my thoughts.

Pink returns with tea. I thank him and take a sip of the hot, sweet goodness. Hopefully, it will revive me.

"You can read that?" Pink asks Jade. Surprise is clear in his voice.

Jade looks up and blushes. "Yeah, I was taught all seven of the arcane tongues."

Pink sits down. "Oh, I thought the high tongues were kept amongst Old Blood only."

Ned quietly shuts his book. His eyes are flicking between Jade and Pink. He looks worried. What is going on?

I know that Old Blood is what Pink's people call themselves. Humans with magic. The British Nobility. But Pink is nice. I can't imagine him being snobby or outraged that Jade knows one of their secret languages. So, what's the problem?

"I was raised by Old Blood," says Jade quietly. "My parents were bred like dogs to create me. I was a little experiment."

"Hey, that was nothing to do with Pink!" interjects Ned.

Pink is biting his bottom lip. His gaze is fixed on the floor. His shoulders are slumped.

"None of us can help who we are born to," I say in Pink's defense.

I'm surprised none of this has come up before. But maybe it has. I've spent so much time brooding alone in my pool, I wouldn't have known. I'm a terrible friend. Sammy would say I suck.

Jade exhales heavily and rubs his hands over his face. "I know that. I do. I'm sorry I'm being an ass."

Pink looks up. Relief is clear in his eyes. "If you ever want to talk about it… "

"What is there to say?" interrupts Jade. "I was created in an attempt to make a pure blood fey. I was born a slave and then sold to Ritchie. This is the first time I've been free in my entire life."

Pink flashes me and Ned a worried glance. His hand reaches out and rests on Jade's arm. He makes touch look so easy. So simple.

I wish there was some comfort I could offer Jade. I had no idea about his past. Or that he was suffering so much. I've been such a self-absorbed asshole. We were all in the harem. I didn't have it any worse than the others. There is no need for me to feel so sorry for myself.

"That sucks," I hear myself say, parroting Sammy's tone and inflection.

Three pairs of eyes turn to me. Everyone chuckles. The mood lifts. Gravity lightens. Sammy is such a blessing.

"Let's call it a night," says Ned.

That's an excellent idea. Clearly, we are all tired and fraught. Hours and hours of reading and handling magical texts can't be good for you. I should be disappointed that we have found nothing useful, but for some reason, I'm not.

I'm simply glad that I have friends willing to help me. And now that we are done, I can slope off to Sammy's room and spend time with him.

"Come on boys, I have a bottle of whiskey in my room that I need help with drinking," says Ned.

I shake my head. "Thanks, but I'm going to see Sammy."

"And I…um…have stuff to do," blushes Pink.

We all chuckle at him, and his blush deepens. Seems I am not the only one that knows he is far fonder of his mage than he admits.

Ned whacks Jade on the back. "Just you and me then, kid."

Jade rolls his eyes and shakes his head, but he gets to his feet and follows the vampire out.

Pink mumbles something before fleeing, and suddenly I'm all alone. But not for long. Sammy is only up the hall, and I know he will be happy to see me.

As I get to my feet, I'm smiling so broadly my face is hurting.