Chapter 18

Eloise

A date. I was taking Cadence on a date. I’d planned to hang out with Camille and the family this weekend, so on Friday I went over for dinner and had to tell her that my Saturday was booked. I’d wanted to stay with Cadence, but she already had plans with her friends and we were new to navigating this whole thing together.

We’d decided not to tell people yet, since it was so fresh.

“You are glowing,” Camille said when I arrived at the house. “Are you doing something new?”

Somehow I held back a hysterical laugh. “Sort of?”

Her eyes lit up. “Ohhh, tell me.” Now that I had an assistant, I’d been hanging out with Camille less during the day and I had missed her so much.

“I’m going on a date this weekend,” I said, and she hugged me so hard that I could barely breathe.

“You met someone! Tell me, tell me. I want to know everything about him,” she said, and I hesitated. It was one thing to not tell Camille who I was dating, but I couldn’t hide that I was dating a woman.

“Where are the kids?” I asked instead of answering her.

“John took them to grab dinner. They’ll be here in a few. Is everything okay?”

“Yes?” I said, and it sounded like a question. “Yes. Everything is okay. I just have to tell you something.”

I couldn’t meet Camille’s eyes as she led me to the living room and sat me down on the couch, taking both my hands in hers. Her concern was palpable and it made me feel a little sick.

“It’s nothing bad, I promise,” I said. “Just something new, I guess?”

“You can tell me anything, El. Anything.” Her grip on my hands was almost painful.

“I’m not going out with a man. It’s a woman.” I braced for a reaction and gasped when Camille hugged me so hard that I couldn’t inhale fully.

“Camille,” I managed to say, “too tight.”

“Sorry!” She let me go and sat back, tears sparkling in her eyes. “I’m just…I’m so happy and proud and I love you and I knew this day was coming, but I feel like I’m saying all the wrong things.”

“What?” I said, surprised at her words. “What are you talking about?”

“El, I know you.” She stared into my eyes and I felt myself blushing.

“You knew I’m…” I trailed off. The word bisexual stuck in my throat. Still too difficult to say out loud.

“Yeah, I knew.” I wasn’t sure what to do with this information.

“And you never said anything?”

Camille gave me one of her warm smiles. “I didn’t want to say anything. I mean, should I have? I guess I just…thought you’d figure it out. Eventually.”

She had the grace to look a little sheepish.

“Cam, I’m literally forty-one. When was I going to figure this out?”

She was about to say something when the door opened and there were the kids and John, and Camille said, “we are talking about this later.”

* * *

It wasn’tuntil the kids were in bed and Camille had given John a look that he left us in the living room again and said he was going to go do laundry.

“Finally,” Camille said, scooting closer with a glass of wine in her hand. “Tell me how it happened.”

I blew out a long breath. “I met someone. She’s…interesting and funny and gorgeous and I guess I couldn’t hold back those feelings anymore. Everything hit me so hard and most of the time it doesn’t feel real and it’s new and I’m terrified and Cam, I’ve never felt this way before.”

The words tumbled out of my mouth one after the other and I couldn’t stop them. Somehow I managed to shut up before I told her that the woman was my incredible assistant that was also several years younger.

“Oh, El,” she said, hugging me more gently this time. “I love this for you.”

“You do?”

She nodded and set her wine down. “I do. I’ve always known that you were hiding that part of yourself and I wondered if you’d ever act on it. I’ve never seen you like this before.”

I’d never been this way before.

“I have no idea what I’m doing here, Camille. It’s uncharted territory. We’re going on a date tomorrow and I don’t even know what to do with her.” All of my insecurities came spilling out and Camille talked me through all of it and told me everything I needed to hear. She knew all the right words to say and even helped me come up with what to do with Cadence.

It was on the edge of my tongue to tell her who the woman I was going on a date with was, but I couldn’t make the words come out. I didn’t want her to judge me or tell me it was a bad idea.

By the time I went home, I felt much better, but even more nervous for my first date with Cadence.

* * *

I insistedon picking her up, since I was the one who had planned the day. We’d been talking all morning, but my heart thumped a little faster when she appeared from behind the door to her building as I waited in the car.

“Hello, gorgeous,” she said, getting in and kissing me until I forgot whatever the hell we were supposed to be doing.

“Hi,” I said, and she grinned at me.

“You look amazing.”

I’d put on a casual yellow flowered dress that I usually wore when I hung out with Camille and the kids.

She’d asked what she should wear, and I told her that she might be warm, so she’d put on a pair of shorts and the scissoring T-shirt that I’d seen on her social media.

“Thought this was appropriate now,” she said, looking down at it.

“You are shameless,” I said, laughing as someone honked behind me. I pulled out of the spot and onto the street, heading for the highway.

“Just a little bit. So hey, where are we going?” She dumped her bag in the backseat and turned in her seat to face me.

“It’s a surprise. Are you okay with it being a surprise?”

I glanced over while we sat at a red light.

“I suppose,” she said, but I could feel her tense energy.

After looking over again, I realized she was not so down with the surprises, judging by how many times she’d cracked her knuckles already.

“We’re going to the place that inspired my first book. It’s a cute little town that I’d hang out in on the weekends sometimes in college. I wanted to show you around and take you to lunch. Does that work?” I asked.

I could hear her smiling next to me.

“Yeah, that sounds amazing. I’m honored that you’d want to share that with me.”

Cadence reached over and stroked my arm and I flashed her a smile. “Check the glovebox.”

She pulled it open and found the snacks that I’d stashed in there.

“It’s not cake, but I figured it would do in a pinch,” I said as I took the exit to go North. We were actually going to the town where I’d gone to college, but Cadence didn’t know that part yet. I hadn’t been back in ages, but it would be fun to show her around. Even if it might make me feel ancient compared to her. She’d graduated college not that long ago and for me it felt like two lifetimes had passed since then.

Cadence fed me snacks and insisted that I put on the radio at least, and pumped gas when we stopped and kept me entertained with her wild and creative mind.

We reached the campus of the college and it was almost like stepping back in time. It was a small school, but prestigious. I’d gone here on a full scholarship, but I’d had to pay for my housing after freshman year, and all my other expenses. It had been a frantic, uncertain time in my life and while I did have some good memories, like those times spent writing, a lot of it was a blur.

I parked in the little downtown area and got out.

“It’s so cute,” Cadence said. “Did you go to school here?”

I nodded. “I did. Long time ago.”

Cadence rolled her eyes and got her bag out of the backseat. “You’re not that old, El. Stop acting like you have one foot in the grave.”

My age really didn’t seem to bother her. I thought about arguing, but that wasn’t how I wanted to spend our time together.

We started walking and before I knew what was happening, Cadence had slipped her hand into mine as if it was something we had always done. I braided my fingers with hers and it was like nearly everything else we had done so far together: easy.

Cadence listened as I took her around campus and pointed out the buildings where I’d had my classes, and I took her to the apartments I’d lived in, and then to the café where I’d sat to do my homework or write sometimes. It had changed hands since then, but it still looked the same inside.

“Hungry?” I asked her.

“Yeah, definitely.”

We sat in a booth together and after a moment of sitting on the opposite side, Cadence got up and slid in next to me.

“You were too far away,” she said, reaching up and stroking the side of my face.

For a second, my heart leapt to my throat and I worried about people saying something about us being together.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Cadence said, stroking me again.

After a quick visual sweep of the café, I realized she was right. No one was paying attention to us.

“Sorry,” I said.

“It’s okay. I know this is new. You’re going to be a little jumpy. Plus, you have that added layer of worrying if anyone is going to recognize you.”

Shit. I hadn’t even been thinking about that until she’d said it.

A server interrupted us and we ended up ordering. The place did have cake, which Cadence ordered, along with her chicken sandwich and fries. I stuck to the huge chef’s salad. It wasn’t the same as the one I’d eaten in college, but I didn’t expect it to be. It was still delicious.

After we ate, we walked around and ducked into some of the shops.

“How did you get the courage to write your first book?” Cadence asked. We’d taken a detour through the park and I couldn’t let go of her hand.

“It wasn’t courage so much as delusion?” I said, and she laughed and pulled me up the steps into the little gazebo that sat at the center of the grass.

“Eloise Roth, I think you’re pretty fucking brave,” she said, pressing up on her toes and kissing me.

I didn’t feel brave, but it was nice to hear from her. Maybe if she said it enough times I’d believe it.